File Stealing

Part Four

“Look, I’m telling you—we gotta stop this or we’re gonna get screwed and not in a good way.”

“You worry too much.”

“I mean it, man—I heard that some of the Titan kids are really pissed about some of their personal stuff getting out. I think we oughta lay low for a while.”

“You scared of a bunch of punk kids?”

“I’m scared of these punk kids and if you had a brain in yer head you’d be scared, too.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get that tape, willya? And that disk while yer’re at it.”

“This is the last night. I swear to God, this is it.”

“Yeah, sure it is.”

‘So our lil bird told us something that has our head aspinnin’. Now we all know that Batman and Robin are closerthanthis but there are some details coming out that make us just a little creeped out.

It seems that our favorite babybird seems to be own little Oliver Twist and lost his own parents in some kind of horrible accident while he was still in the parental nest. According to the cheep-cheep we heard, the poor baby was even a witness to Mom and Dad’s demise.

Horrible and we aren’t kidding about that even a little.

For reasons we’ve yet to learn, no family or friends stepped up to the plate and so the poor darlin finally ended up staying under the tutelage of the Bat himself.

Mental picture, please—small traumatized child, seriously disturbed crime obsessed adult. No wonder the baby sprouted elf shoes and a cape and does what he does.

The question, natch, is to ask whether it was his own idea or if he just kind of joined the family business and just what did all that training consist of? Now we all know B&R work closely with the Gotham City boys in blue, but has anyone over at headquarters ever asked the questions that needed to be raised?

If not, we think they should be, no?

Just who’s keeping tabs on ‘things’?

And since we don’t know babybat’s real age, he may still be a minor, in which case, well…all we’re saying is that maybe someone should check this out.

Toot sweet.’

“No, don’t respond to this garbage. You know what this is, we’ve been through it before; they’re just trying to get us to swing in the dirt. Ignore it.”

“I know Bruce, it’s not like I’m new to this, okay?” Dick played with his mashed potatoes, drawing some design with his fork and gravy.

“So how did the visit with Selina go? She agree to what you asked?”

“Yeah, sure. She also made a point of telling me she misses you.”

Bruce sipped his wine. “Thank you.” That was all, just a flat ‘thank you’. Dick knew he’d be calling London as soon as they finished eating.

“There’s another problem I learned about this afternoon. Donna called me and said someone stole a laptop belonging to Roy’s shrink. ‘Happened yesterday as far as we can tell.”

Bruce actually turned his head to stare at Dick. “You’re not serious.”

“We’re looking for it, should recover it soon enough…”

“Soon enough to stop leaks, I hope.”

Alfred placed the dishes of ice cream in front of them after removing the dinner plates. “Everything is encrypted and password protected. It should be okay.”

“How did this happen and do you know if it was targeted or a random theft?”

“No, we don’t know but it was probably random since the guy’s car was hit while parked at some mall—a Mercedes with an expensive computer sitting on the back seat. Stupid, but there you go. They also got his GPS, CD player and hub caps.”

“Forgive me, sirs, but there may be yet another item you need to concern ourselves with, if you would be so kind as to join me.”

“What’s that, Alfred?”

The three men went to Bruce’s study, just down the hall and checked out the gossip blog with the report of Dick’s being an orphan and his supposedly questionable adoption or whatever this guy was referring to it as.

“Jesus.”

“Where did this come from; that stolen laptop? Is there a leak in the sealed court records and—Christ!—this means that whoever is leaking the information either has our identities or is a very short step away.”

Dick just stared at the screen; this was a nightmare. This was what they were afraid of; this was what they were trying to protect at all costs.

In a way it was almost inevitable that the information would come out at some point, but how the hell did this happen? He’d known all along that there was a chance that the link would be made between Batman and Robin and Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, but he also held onto the hope that, somehow, it wouldn’t really happen.

“Dick, is there any chance that Roy would have had reason to talk about our identities to his psychologist?”

“I don’t know, maybe. If he was asked about his friends and all of that, if he answered questions about his motivations to become Speedy and join the Titans, maybe—I guess it could happen, but I really think he’s smarter than that.”

“You’d stake your life on it?”

“I’ve done it before. Look, I’ll call him and ask him what he said to the shrink, then we’ll get a subpoena to bring in that blogger and see if he’ll answer questions about his sources. Or maybe we should just drop in and have a chat with him.”

Bruce nodded. “You call Roy, I’ll find out where this idiot will be this evening.”

“Fine.”

‘So I’m worriedworriedworried about our favorite little Batboy and you all know why, don’t you?

Little Orphan Robin—my God, I’m weeping as I write this—watches his parents be killed right in front of him and so he’s ‘saved’ by the Big Bad Bat. That’s enough to cause anyone to have nightmares, don’tcha think?

From out little bird we’ve heard that Babybat is the sweetest thing you’ve ever met—beautiful as the day is long and smart as a whip as well with all good manners and—golly!—we’ve all seen he can hold his own in a bathing beauty contest, haven’t we?

All in all, we’d say he’s the whole package and we mean that in the nicest way, of course.

Now the problem, as we all know, is that he’s supposed to have this deep dark secret identity like a lot of our favorite heroes and we understand that, we really do.

But, and here’s the rub, is this really what’s best for our favorite babyboy? Think about it, shall we? He’s out night after night, year after year battling the biggest baddies and working in what no one could call safe, happy conditions with a man who’s, at best, a little loosely wrapped. Yes, indeedy, he does have the entire Justice League watching his charming butt, but whence goes his childhood?

When does our Babybat get to run and play with the other kiddies? When does he get to watch a school football game or spend a day sitting on a beach or chasing the young ladies (assuming it’s young ladies he chooses to chase)? Who makes sure our Babyboy has some time to sit and watch the clouds or do whatever it is youngsters raised with a sense of responsibility and a brain do in their down time?

One can’t spend all their time saving mankind, can they?

Seriously—and we’re being serious for a moment—when do these kids get to be kids? Who watches out for them and I don’t mean the other guys and gals in spandex. Are there any people out there keeping tabs on these oh so precious babies?

We can’t be the only ones who’ve wondered about this, are we?’

“Batman? We need to discuss what’s going on in the media. I assume you’ve seen it.”

“Yes, Commissioner, I have and you know as well as I do that Robin and the rest of the sidekicks are all carefully watched and are under close supervision at all times.”

Jim Gordon shifted the phone, taking it off of speaker as he sat back down at his desk. “I’m aware of that but the press is getting out of control about this. If it were just a few of these gossip fellows we’d ignore it, but it’s been picked up by the mainstream outlets. I’ve just been informed that Time’s cover story next week will be about the safety and sense of having these young kids out there in the field.”

Bruce put his coffee cup down. Dammit, this was getting ridiculous. “What do you suggest; a statement, a press conference?”

“Yes, perhaps. I think we also have to open the windows a little, let people know who these kids are, why they have the go-ahead to do what they do, how they fit it all in with their regular lives and all of that.”

“You’re not suggesting that we reveal their identities, are you?”

“Of course not, but I think it’s important that we show that there isn’t anything to hide—especially in light of the allegations regarding you taking Robin in after his family was killed.”

Jesus. “That’s another question I have—how did the press get ahold of that bit of information? The obvious security breach…”

“Yes, I know and I have our best people on it. So, you’ll agree to talking to the press?”

Like hell he would. “I’ll make a statement.”

“Good.”

‘So we’ve been talking to our little birdie again and all we can say is that we’ll have some real goss to discuss tomorrow so don’t go anywhere, kiddies! This may blow off a few lids and that’s all you’re getting from us today.’

“Who is this?”

“Robin. Look, you know that idea I had? Well, it’s going to be delayed.”

“Cancelled?”

“No, just delayed. I’ll let you know when it’s a go. ‘Shouldn’t be too long, maybe a few days or a week.”

“Any reason in particular?”

“I’m setting things up on this end. Don’t worry, it’s all falling into place. We should have him dead to rights by the time we’re ready to move.”

“Well, you know it still sounds purrrrrfect to me.”

TBC

 

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