File Stealing

Part Three

“I can’t believe you just walked into Arkham and questioned Two-Face like that without even a shred of real evidence. What the hell was going through your brain?”

Dick knew what he was doing, he did. He just wanted Bruce to lay off right now and let him get on with it. If what he had in mind worked then he’d have the real thief soon enough. He was handling this. He was. “It’s fine, Bruce. You’ll see.”

“I damn well hope so.”

‘So our little batbirdboy seems to have made a bit of a misstep when he knocked on Two-Face’s door to ask if he might be the one selling insider info to the less than stellar member of the press. Oops, sorry, Batlad, but that’s not our sources which are—as you know—protected by our ever-lovin’ constitution.

But let’s address the larger issue here, shall we kiddies? We’re not oblivious to the suggestion that what we do when we publish personal information is less than savory and may have some long-term repercussions. ‘Praps the suggestion even has some merit, but let’s face the facts here, shall we?

We didn’t seek out these little bits of info; we were the ones who were simply on the receiving end of an offer we didn’t initiate. We didn’t pay for this info—we swear, not a dime exchanged hands. No one is accusing any of our costumed heroes—whom we really do hold in the highest of the highest respect—of anything nasty, unless you think them having sex lives is nasty, in which case we suggest you seek therapy or find your self a cloister.

Is publishing these things harming their work of ridding the world of baddies?

Really?

How? You tell me.

So take yourselves a great big chill pill and let’s all just sit back and enjoy the show, shall we?’

Dick was searching the Internet again, the third time today, looking for more leaks surfacing. In fact it wasn’t the garbage which bothered him, it was the few items which told the truth and could lead to real problems which had him concerned and determined to put a stop to this. That article a few weeks ago about GL and was a good example. It had him picking up whores and drunk women in bars; hardly the truth when you knew Kyle.

The stuff about him, the old rumors about him and Bruce, hell—he’d heard them so many times in the last ten years or so that he was past caring, even though they were garbage.

But, and this was the point, add them all up together and they painted a picture of lies and mistruths which cost the Heroes credibility.

‘So we’ve all heard that cats like milk and cream, but may we suggest that the Catlady (modesty forbids me from giving her obvious nickname…) likes fresh, well, whipped cream and seems to prefer that it come from jail—jail bait that is.

Now we all them young and virile, but we do try to make sure that they’re at least legal.

Just a word to the wise.

Meeoooow!’

 

* * *
 

“Okay, Two-Face was a misstep, I know that but this time I’m on the right trail.”

Bruce looked up from his paper. “And?”

“Selina. It makes sense; she’s jealous of me because she wants you to herself. Plus she knows this will get her attention while causing me embarrassment—it has her fingerprints all over it.”

Bruce shook his head. “She’s in London, has been for weeks.”

“Doesn’t matter where she is.”

“And you’re not the only one being targeted.”

“I know that but I’m the main one and it’s closing in on me more every week.”

Bruce turned and gave Dick a look. “Yes, but I think you’re taking this much too personally. You’re losing perspective about this.”

“But it is personal—don’t you get that? It is a personal attack against me.”

“Dick…”

He grabbed his jacket and keys. “Forget it. I’m solving this and I’m going to stop her.”

‘Well if this isn’t just the cat’s whiskers. Our lil bird has been telling us that Babybat has gotten his manties in a knot about our little stories about him and all we can say about that is we think someone needs to take a step back and a big breath at the same time.

No harm’s done, nothing personal and get over yourself, baby—you know we love you!

Now, count to ten with us and repeat… ‘No big deal, no big deal, no big deal…

But on a related topic, we all know cats like to catch small rodents and play for a while, right? Be careful little birdie.

Some cats have claws and bite.’


Dick landed at Heathrow at about seven in the morning, picked up the rental and headed over to Selina’s flat in Notting Hill. Not only was she home, but she was waiting for him.
“Purrfectly lovely to see you again, my favorite little kitten. Do come in.”

The paparazzi waiting on the corner snapped off a series of pictures recording the visit. They were posted on the Internet within half an hour, along with a live stream video of her front door on two sites.

Inside the two old adversaries sat with tea and calmly discussed the situation. “Well yes, of course we all hate the intrusions into our private lives-it wasn’t like this when we were all just getting started. Remember how outraged people were when some rag published those pictures of you picking your nose when you were nine? Half the public thought it was cute and half thought that you should be left alone to be a normal child; something I happened to agree with.”

“I remember that; I was so embarrassed I think I stayed in my room for three days. The paps left me alone for a while, though.”

Yes, well they wouldn’t now and you know that as well as I do, Robbie. By the way, why didn’t Batman come along with you? I miss his—tell him that. Will you?”

“You can tell him yourself, Selina. So we’re set with everything? You’re good with this?”

She laughed as she stretched, leaning a little too close to Robin for comfort. “Ready? I’ve been looking forward to this since you called me!” They both rose and went to the back door, opening it. Rob stood on the back stoop, his hand on Catwoman’s waist, both of her hands on his shoulders as she pulled him close and gave him a lingering kiss goodbye—all caught by the two photographers waiting behind the low wall.

‘Wellwellwell. Just when you think you’ve seen everything you find out you’re wrong. We enclose the following pictures (scroll down after the jump) and let them speak for themselves; you know what they say about a picture being worth a thousand words, well—we’d say this is worth at least an entire short story of the Harlequin and Barbara Cartland variety!

It seems our Babybat is growing up faster than we thought and though we’re thrilled for him (in a vicarious way, of course, dammit!) we have to ask him just what he’s thinking getting quite so close to the comely but definitely crossed over to the dark side damsel.

Does Daddybat know? Heavens knows we tried to warn you, honeybatbunny.

It might be past time to sit this boy down for a talking to, maybe?

And on a less entertaining note, we understand that several of the Titans are continuing ongoing therapy sessions to deal both with the stress of their day to day crime busting activities and the down side of spending so much of their lives battling the baddies put to destroy life as we know it here on the Big Blue Planet.

We all know the argument that kids should be allowed to be kids and we have to agree that charging into the galactic fray doesn’t always allow time for high school football and proms.

C’mon guys—take a little ‘me’ time, okay?’

Garth was on the surface for the first time in a couple of months, having been kept busy by Arthur dealing with whatever he had to deal with. Usually this happened when His Royal Majesty decided to fob off some unpleasant part of his job but you never knew—maybe he just wanted to sleep late or something. Garth walked into the Tower in the middle of yet another emotional blowout from his old friends.

“I can’t frigging believe this; how frigging irresponsible can these a-holes be, anyway? I mean, cripes!”

“Roy, calm down, will you, this isn’t getting us anywhere. What’s the problem here?”

“What’s the problem? The problem, Ms I’m Perfect and Never Lose My Cool, is that this frigging rag not only published the fat that I have a daughter but had the supreme stupidity to publish her picture in full color. A-holes.”

“But Roy…”

“AND they didn’t even have the courtesy, the damn professionalism to call me to check on the story first to see if it’s even true. A-holes.”

Garth leaned his damp butt against the back of the couch; listening and wondering what he’d just walked into. “Has something happened?”

Roy glared and stalked out of the room, leaving Donna to explain. “We’ve been having a problem with the sleazy part of the media following us around and printing insinuations and half-truths about us. The Enquirer just called to ask Roy if it’s true that he has an illegitimate daughter with an International terrorist.”

“And they’re printing photographs as well, I take it.” Donna nodded. “And so he’s concerned about Lian’s security?” Another nod.

“You can’t blame him.”

“No, I suppose not but why would they do such a thing, endangering an infant like that? It doesn’t seem right.”

Sweet, naïve Garth. “No, it’s not right; that’s why he’s so upset.” She smiled at him, he was so unsure of himself here on the surface, but she’d seen him down in Atlantis and it was like seeing a different person—confident, self-assured, in command. Maybe he’d get to that point up here as well. “He’s worried about her safety. You know there are a lot of nuts out there and if one of them tried to kidnap her for some kind of ransom or tried to get revenge for what her mother did by hurting Lian, well—it would be horrible.”

Garth looked surprised. “You mean the surface laws allow a child’s picture to be published when there’s a chance of such a thing happening? That’s insane.”

“A lot of people would agree with you, but it’s freedom of the press. It’s a hard line to draw.”

“Yes, but the safety of a child…I don’t understand. The stories about the others could be embarrassing, but this is potentially life threatening. It doesn’t seem right, does it?”

“I’m sure Roy would agree with you.”

‘Wellwellwell, check out that above picture. It seems that we were right about bats and cats. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Round and round it goes and where it stops nobody knows…’


TBC
 

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