THANKSGIVING

Chapter 8

Reid scanned the simple, small town coffee bar. It was nothing special and certainly lacked eye appeal, yet even he succumbed to its charms when he relocated to Oakdale. Java sold the best cup of caffeine in town and their latte’s rivaled those of the biggest coffee chains. There was no one who would dare to argue that point. And while Reid had no particular interest in fashion or decorating, even he could see that Java’s ugly green and brown themed decor was an absurdity when compared to the product they served. He remembered Noah joking on more than one occasion about the hideous green T-shirts all the employees had to wear. While Reid wasn’t a fashion queen by a long shot, even he knew the garment was hideous and as unattractive as they come.

Bringing the ugly green mug to his lips, Reid took a big gulp of his cooling brew and glanced at his watch. He’d arrived early, hoping to have the advantage in his discussion with Chris. Reid still wasn’t convinced it was the best idea, but if the two were to continue having any type of relationship, personal or professional, they needed to talk. It was strange how Luke and Katie were the two pushing for this. He was lucky to have both of them in his life -- so was Chris.

At exactly four o’clock in the afternoon Chris entered Java. He nodded in Reid’s direction and stopped at the bar to get a cup of coffee for himself on the way to the table.

Coffee cup in hand, Chris stood behind the chair opposite Reid’s. “Reid.”

“Chris.” Reid took another sip of coffee and gestured for his colleague to sit down.

“It doesn’t take a neurosurgeon to figure out why you wanted to meet.”

“It might not take a neurosurgeon, but it’ll probably be a bit more than you expect.”

Raising his eyebrows, Chris remained silent and drank from his steaming cup.

“Here.” Reid shoved an article copied from the New England Journal of Medicine toward Chris.

“What’s this?”

“If you read the title it’ll be evident.”

Biting his lip, Chris glanced at the piece before him. “Physical Impact of Claustrophobia”. He looked at Reid. “I know you suffer from this condition.”

“Do you remember how you learned about my condition? It wasn’t in med school, that’s for sure.” Reid tried to keep his voice low, but the memories of Chris’ health crisis, a little over seven years earlier, always brought back a rush of anger coupled with a variety of negative emotions.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Chris reopened them. “The helicopter -- to get my heart.”

“While I fought the extreme reactions, all I wanted to do was jump out of that flying sardine can. But Katie and Luke would never have gotten over it, so I sat, harnessed into that thing to make sure you lived to share a job I could have handled on my own.”

“Don’t make this about the Chief of Staff position. You know that’s not what it’s about.”

“It’s about your lack of judgment and disrespect for anyone who isn’t you.”

“That’s not true.”

“No! So explain the jackass choices you made back then. It’s not as if you didn’t know the consequences of the decisions you were making on a daily basis.”

“Reid, you don’t know what it was like.”

“I don’t know what it’s like to slowly commit suicide? You’re right, I don’t! What could possibly motivate anyone, let alone a Harvard trained doctor to make such foolhardy medical decisions? Explain it to me, Chris.”

Reid knew he was ranting, but he couldn’t stop. After seven years, it was about time he let off some steam, and got some answers in the process. “Do you have any idea what you put everyone through, starting with me? I teetered on the brink of losing my license to practice medicine, and I probably would have if what you were forcing me to do had continued. If it wasn’t for that fucking phrase, Do no harm, I would have abandoned you long before I got so damn entangled in your web of lies. But unfortunately I believe in that oath, and it meant I had to help you, since you were clearly not going to help yourself. Why? For God’s sake why wouldn’t you get the help you needed immediately?”

“Katie... my parents... the job... everything.”

“So you thought killing yourself would make the outcome better?”

“Denial is a powerful emotion, Reid. It was easier to deny the reality of my condition if I didn’t explore it further and just bandaged the symptoms so I could move on.”

“Chris, I had to practically carry you off a damn golf course after John Dixon ordered you to stay in the hospital.” Reid glared at Chris, waiting for some response that could possibly shed some light on some of the stupidest decisions in recorded history.

Looking into his cup of coffee, Chris remained quiet.

“Were you that scared?” Reid rolled his eyes. “Is that what your avoidance was all about?”

“Of the truth... yeah.” Chris downed the rest of his drink in one long pull.

“The truth was that you were able to be saved, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Yet you still have the judgment of a pea to this day. How could you not trash that skateboard knowing anyone could get on it, including Jacob?”

“Brad still lives with us.”

Reid huffed. “You’re a doctor. A fairly decent one last I checked.”

Chris smiled. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“I selected you to act as pediatric physician for my kid -- believe me, that says a lot.”

“I know, Reid.” Chris took a deep breath. “I know Katie loves me and most of the time Jacob and I are alright. But he brings up his real father on a regular basis. It’s killing me. I’m the only father he’s ever known, apart from you when he was an infant.”

“He’s eight years old. It’s his way of getting to you.”

“It does get to me, but that’s not the worst of it.”

Reid stared at Chris, having difficulty understanding where this was going.

“It’s Katie. Whenever Jacob brings up Brad she gets this faraway sad look in her eyes. She withdraws and sometimes I can’t get her back for days. She spends more hours at work and visits the cemetery repeatedly. It’s hard to compete with the memory of the perfect marriage.”

Rolling his lips inward, Reid lowered his head. It was hard to hear all the pain and desperation coming from a man he thought was stronger, and more determined, than most anyone else he knew.

“There’s a reason we don’t have more kids. Katie doesn’t want any more. She gives a variety of reasons why, but I get the feeling she thinks it would somehow hurt Jacob, and Brad. You’re fortunate, Reid. Noah’s alive and Luke was able to resolve any leftover feelings for him. I’m constantly reminded that if Brad was alive, Katie wouldn’t be in my life.”

“Do you love and respect her?”

“Of course I do.” Chris’ eyes opened wide.

Staring at Chris, Reid continued. “Then be honest with her. Tell her everything you just told me. You seem to think hiding your needs and your feelings is the way to make things alright. I’d assume by now you would have learned how wrong that strategy is. It didn’t work with your heart and it won’t work now. You’ll be divorced before you know it, and become another Oakdale statistic, if you don’t work to unite your family. Start with Katie. If she’s on your side, Jacob will be too.”

“Reid, I can’t tell you how sorry I am about what happened to Ethan. I’m just grateful he’s going to be fine.”

“Nothing needed to happen to Ethan... if you had been the father you should be. So what if Jacob gets angry? If you tell him why you’re doing something, and don’t keep him in the dark, he may actually learn to respect you. He’s your son; be his father.”

“Like you are with Ethan.”

“Yes. I’m Ethan’s father first. When there’s the opportunity, I can be his friend, but that’s not why Lily and Holden entrusted him to both Luke and me. It took a while for me to understand, but it’s because they wanted the little boy to have a father, not only an amazing big brother.

“Jacob needs a father. If there’s time to be his buddy later, fine -- but be his father first, last, and always.”

Shaking his head, Chris rested his palms flat on the table. “When did you get to be such a sensitive person? This person sure isn’t the asshole I went to med school with.”

Sitting back in his chair, Reid thought about all that had changed in his life during the previous eight years. “When this asshole met Luke Snyder he started to change.”

Nodding, Chris smiled for only the second time since he’d entered Java. “Explains a lot.”

“Explains everything.”

“You and he really are something together.”

“Yes, we are.” Reid sat up tall in his chair. “You and Katie can have the same thing, but don’t hide all this crap from her. It nearly killed you once; now it can destroy your family.” Looking directly at Chris, Reid felt the need to finish what he started. “You nearly killed my spirit, my career, and my relationship with Luke with your lies. Don’t make the same mistakes over and over, because if there had been any permanent damage to my son--”

Chris held up his hand. “You’re right. Damn, I wish it weren’t so, but you’re one hundred percent right.” Chris sighed. “You’re more like my father than I am -- I’m envious.”

“Thank you for the compliment, but there’s a lot of room for improvement on your part.”

“I’ll take that as another vote of confidence.”

“Only if you make it work, Chris.”

“Reid, I may want to take a brief leave of absence to get my life in order.”

“That’s why there are two of us at the helm. I can handle it.”

“Can Luke and Ethan handle the time you’ll have to devote to the hospital?”

“We work as a team. They’ll support me, just like I support them. There’s also the concept of delegating authority. It’s part of the job.”

“Sounds like you’ll be fine.”

“It almost sounds like you will be too.”

“Reid, I am genuinely sorry.”

Glaring at Chris, Reid waited for him to continue.

“Not only for what happened to Ethan, but for what I put you through when I was sick. You had to make choices and sacrifices no doctor, or friend, should ever be forced into.”

“No more secrets, no more stupid judgment calls?”

Shaking his head, Chris stood up. “No more.”

“I have to go back to Ethan and Luke. They’ll be waiting for me to bring dinner from Al’s.”

“Don’t give Ethan their chili. Just because you like it, doesn’t mean it’s good for a boy.”

“He gets burgers. Remember -- not his friend, his father.”

“Right.”

Reid nodded. “Yes, I am.”

[TBC]
 

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