It's All Relative

“What the fuck does it look like I’m doing? You’re supposed to be the boy genius.”

“I’m no longer a boy -- no one knows that better than you -- and my genius intelligence tells me that you’re cleaning Gus’ room. Only I know it must be a hallucination since our son is downstairs watching cartoons with his youngest sister and is more than capable of doing it himself.”

“Thank you for that thorough review of the situation. You missed your calling -- you should have done play-by-play for the Pittsburgh Pirates.”

“I appreciate the career advice, but why are you cleaning... is this about Helen’s visit?”

Brian stood up after placing the final Matchbox car in Gus’ oversized toy chest. He cringed at the pain in his back. “Shit! I’m going to need you to rub in some of that ointment you use when you’ve been bending over a painting too long.”

“I can tell. You look like a question mark.” Justin walked behind Brian and started kneading the knots in his neck and back. “How’s this for a start?”

“It helps.”

Justin’s ministrations softened and he slowly circled Brian until they were face to face. Placing his hands behind Brian’s head, he nudged his husband down just enough so their lips could meet in a long ardent kiss.

When Brian lifted his head, he gazed into Justin’s eyes, seeing the love combined with concern. “I know. Helen’s been at Kinnetik and Babylon. She’s interviewed almost everyone who’s ever seen me breathe... or fuck, and she still seems to have a positive outlook.”

Brian remembered his conversation with the social worker after she had spoken with the Babylon staff. Helen had arranged to meet Brian at Kinnetik when the interviews were complete.

“Since you’re on the clock, can I offer you a cup of coffee or a glass of water, maybe sparkling water?”

Helen was seated in the armchair adjacent to Brian’s sofa. He sat at the farthest end, facing her, legs crossed, and attempting to appear relaxed.

“No, thank you, I’m fine. But it looks like you could use a drink, and I don’t mean sparkling water.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I’ll refrain for now.”

Helen opened her briefcase and took out the now familiar folder with Jessica’s name written across the front. “You’re very fortunate, Brian.”

“I am?” Brian remained cautious in all his responses, knowing that Helen’s research was nearly at its end.

“Yes. You have many friends, family, and employees -- all who think highly of you, and none of whom were willing to lie for you or about you.”

“If you’ve learned anything about me, Ms. Martin...”

“You can call me Helen, Ms. Martin seems ridiculous at this point.”

Brian nodded. “As I was saying, Helen, I do think honesty is paramount. Sometimes it’s not popular to be honest because it can lead to ill feelings, but if I’m not honest, I wouldn’t be true to myself.”

Helen’s face revealed no emotions -- she was all business. “I’ve also noted that even those who don’t like you, respect you.” Brian sat still, wishing he’d taken the opportunity to have that drink Helen had suggested earlier. “In addition, I spoke to your mother and sister. Knowing they weren’t involved in your life wasn’t enough. After meeting with them, I can understand your selection of a new family.”

Brian uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. “What did they say?” He tried to keep his voice steady but knew it was impossible.

“Details of these visits are confidential.” Helen looked at Brian. “But let’s just say I think it’s wise they didn’t know the complete purpose of my visit, and I didn’t reveal that you were in the process of adopting a daughter.”

Brian sat back, imagining the cruel words that would have spilled from his mother’s lips and the jealous ravings from his sister’s.

Watching Helen move some sheets around in her folder, the previous words sunk in, “Does that mean I’m in the process of adopting Jessica?”

Helen placed the folder back in her briefcase and looked at Brian. “Yes, I just want to make one final visit to your home. Is it possible to have Gus there as well? I’ve noted he’s been spending a great deal of time at Melanie’s apartment.”

Brian clasped his hands together, trying to remain calm. “I would have thought you wanted me to concentrate on Jessica during this process.”

“Most people in your position think the same way.” Helen’s voice was calm, yet firm. “I need to see the entire household together. I would certainly imagine that Gus is a big part of Jessica’s life when she’s with you, and as she gets older, that will continue.”

“Of course Gus is a big part of her life.” Brian had been the one to insist that he and Justin focus on Jessica and remembered trying to explain to Gus why he’d be spending some extra time with his mom. He’d even thought about sending Gus on a visit with Lindsay in New York but was now glad he hadn’t done that.

“Good. So I’ll come by this weekend.”

“Okay.”

Helen stood up in preparation to leave. She shook his hand. As they approached the doors to exit Brian’s office, Helen stopped. “And Brian?”

“Yes?”

“Off the clock...”

Brian smiled and nodded.

“Thanks for introducing me to Melanie. I know it wasn’t your intention, but the dinner party you set up at Michael’s turned into a very special night for me.”

“Brian, Brian... are you okay? Where were you?”

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Brian looked at his husband. It sometimes amazed him to see how far they’d come and how much his life had changed over the previous ten years. “I’m fine, Sunshine, just thinking about today’s visit. I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“We’re not going to fuck it up.”

“I already fucked things up by keeping Gus away.”

“Brian, I’m sure Helen understands why you did that. He’s here now and that’s what counts.”

Brian pulled Justin close. The two clung to each other until the doorbell rang just a moment later.

Justin and Brian welcomed Helen into Britin. They had shown her around the house on a previous visit, pointing out all the child-proofing that had been incorporated throughout.

Justin was the first to speak, “Hi, Helen, how are you?”

“Fine, thank you. How are both of you holding up?” She smiled at Justin and Brian. “We’re into the final stretch -- this is almost over.”

“Thank goodness. Otherwise Brian may not make it.” Justin huffed.

Brian glared at the two. “I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.” Having been in the position of supervisor in all aspects of his life, the entire process was bringing Brian to his limit of patience. “The kids are in the media room. Gus is watching cartoons, and Jessica has a custom design oversized play area that’s big enough for her and Gus.”

“It was Brian’s idea so the kids could play together, and we could leave them for brief periods without the concern that Jessica would crawl to something that might not be safe.”

“Justin, you don’t have toot my horn, I do it quite well without your help.” Brian knew he was getting on edge.

Helen intervened, “I think it’s nice to see a couple who demonstrates pride in each other’s ideas and creations. It’s not typical these days. Much of my time is spent with custody cases.”

Brian put his arm around Justin’s shoulders and pulled him in with a squeeze as his way of an apology. Justin stood on his toes and quickly kissed Brian on the cheek.

“Dad, Daddy come quick -- it’s an emergency!” Brian and Justin separated and began to run towards the media room with Helen on their heels. Gus screamed again, “Hurry up, we need you!”

Approaching the room, Brian had flashes of loss looming large.

[TBC]