Headaches
Chapter 4
Reid was standing, staring out at Snyder Pond. The picnic blanket was set out, the babies lying in the middle, the food for the three older members of the family around them, but the subject being discussed was far from light-hearted family fare.
Andy and Ethan had quickly showered and dressed. Luke drove Andy home and returned immediately, reassuring Ethan that he hadn’t asked his friend, or rather boyfriend, anything embarrassing.
They were all now gathered together out in the sunshine, not far from the edge of the pond. Everyone’s words were measured, not yet knowing which part of the morning’s discoveries needed to be addressed first.
Before Luke or Reid could say anything, Ethan broke the silence. “I really like him. Don’t make me break it off with Andy.”
Reid walked the few steps back to the blanket and sat. “Who decided to steal Emma’s alcohol?”
Lowering his head, Ethan bit his thumbnail. “It was my idea. Andy only had a sip because I encouraged him. He didn’t like it and wouldn’t have any more.”
“That’s something to be grateful for.” Reid’s thoughts were spinning out of control. He decided to boldly ask the most difficult question first. “Did you and Andy--?”
“Did we what?” Ethan glared at Reid. “Are you asking if we had sex? I guess that depends on what you think of as sex.”
“Ethan, I’m trying not to get angry, so watch the tone of voice. You know what I mean by sex. Help us out here. Why don’t you give us a little indication of how concerned we should be about your health and safety?”
“I know about condoms.”
Luke took a deep breath. “Did he... or you? You’re too young!”
“Relax, Luke, we gave each other hand jobs. We know we’re not ready for anything else.”
“So why bring up condoms?” Luke looked from Ethan to Reid and back again.
“Because I knew it would shake you up.”
Reid could feel the hairs standing on the back of his neck. “As much as you want to play shock the parents, we’re not amused. When we get back home, you and I are going to have a long talk about responsibility, and safe sex.”
“Thank you, Reid. I think that’s a good plan.”
“See, Luke, no worries about having to pretend to be more than a big brother. You can concentrate on your own two kids.”
“That’s what you think, Ethan. I give a damn about you and I won’t let you go through the same garbage I did when I was your age. You know about my kidney, and the ongoing fear about my future because of it; all because of my stupidity with alcohol as a teen. How could you drink, and why would you even feel the need to?”
“Oh my God! You really don’t get it, do you? I had two parents who couldn’t decide if they could live together from the time I was born. Now I live with my gay big brother and have been adopted by his neurosurgeon husband. Do you know how weird that is? I can’t go one day in school without someone calling me a freak.” Ethan waved his hand toward the twins. “And now I have two more siblings who take everyone’s time and attention. When I have a little to drink everything seems so much more relaxed and easier to deal with?”
Reid had heard enough. It was obvious this wasn’t the first time Ethan had turned to alcohol. “I’m not sure if you’re telling me you’re being bullied at school, something we’ve dealt with once before if you recall, or if this is a lot of crap excuses not to deal with the realities of life in a smart way. Let me tell you, using booze or drugs is not the way to handle anything.” Reid’s voice hitched. “If there’s one thing I can’t handle, it’s another person I love destroying his body with liquor.”
Standing up, Reid walked several yards toward the pond’s edge. Ethan was the one who had been drinking, but Reid felt like he was suffering from the hangover.
It wasn’t long before he felt Luke walking up behind him. “I’m so sorry, Reid. This is all my fault.”
“How the hell is it your fault? I’m supposed to be his father and I’m obviously failing at it.”
“No, he’s copying the ridiculous method I resorted to, in the hope of getting attention from our parents in his early, impressionable, years. I’m sure he’s remembering a very skewed version of their quality attention.”
“Then I haven’t done a very good job explaining how to cope with the tough problems that might come up in life.”
“Why is it your responsibility? I thought we were both his guardians. I should have recognized the signs.”
Reid turned to face Luke, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “I’m his father. I wanted to keep him happy and stable enough to avoid this kind of shit and I didn’t. How will I ever succeed with the twins?”
Luke wrapped his arms around Reid, holding him close and rubbing his back. “Ethan and I both came complete with tons of baggage from our previous home life. He may have been a child when everything hit the fan with my parents, but he obviously picked up something about our unstable world. Maybe the arrival of the twins brought back some of those buried concerns. We have to start working with him to make our family secure -- something my parents were never able to do.”
Returning to the blanket, Reid attempted to calm down. The rest of the afternoon would have appeared to outsiders looking in as ideal. The fathers and their three children sat and ate lunch together. Ethan fed Bobby his bottle, while Luke fed Miri hers. Reid tried to enjoy the sandwich Luke had made especially for him, but somehow it didn’t go down as easily as it should have.
Dr. Reid Oliver-Snyder should have seen the signs; looked for them. He remembered the words Jack had said to him years earlier. Something about it not being easy to love an alcoholic. But looking at Luke, it had been easy. Reid had fallen deeply, deeply in love. Even more surprising, he really liked Luke. Luke was a person he could talk with, fight with, and then love all in the same day.
Ethan. Ethan looked more and more like Holden every day. But Holden wasn’t here. Reid couldn’t ask Holden how he dealt with learning his son had polluted his body so badly due to his inner demons that he nearly killed himself and sentenced himself to a life dependent on someone else’s kidney to survive.
Could Ethan really have inherited, in some crazy misdirected way, Luke’s pain-numbing tactics from long ago? Doctors should be able to predict this kind of thing, shouldn’t they?
When they all returned home, Reid helped Luke put the twins in their cribs for a nap, then returned to the kitchen, where he found Ethan on the phone.
“Yeah, everything’s fine.”
....
“Don’t worry. They won’t totally get on my case. Hell, Luke can’t punish me for something he did repeatedly. I just have to be more careful.”
....
“I know you don’t want to drink. Neither do I. But sometimes things get to be too much. How do you handle it?”
....
“Very funny. I don’t think we’ll be getting too much alone time anytime soon.” Ethan chuckled and then blushed. He turned and spotted Reid glaring at him. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you in school on Monday.”
....
“Me too.” Ethan closed his phone.
“I gather you were chatting with Andy.”
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Luke told you he didn’t say or do anything to embarrass you. You should trust him. He loves you, unconditionally.” Reid made sure to look directly into Ethan’s eyes. “So do I.”
Nodding, Ethan sat on one of the kitchen chairs.
“What was the me too at the end of your conversation?” Reid couldn’t help wondering what was really going on. The boys were far too young to be playing the gay version of Romeo and Juliet.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but he said he was glad we got to spend last night together and really liked being with me.”
“Ethan, you’re only fourteen. I’m your father, and everything you do is my business, especially if it’s for the wrong reasons.” Reid had never needed to be firm with Ethan. He’d always made it easy to be his parent. He wondered if Luke had been an easy kid too. Of course he had; Reid had heard all the stories. Luke hid his confusion like a master.
“I won’t drink again. I promise.” Ethan bit his lip. “I can’t promise I won’t make-out with Andy again. I liked it; I like him.”
“Making out with someone is one thing, but you’re way too young to be thinking about gay sex to the max.”
“Dad!” Ethan’s blush rivaled his brother’s.
“If you’re going to think about sex, you need to know all about it. Knowledge is the best protection.” Reid sighed. “Come with me.”
“Where are we going?”
“To the computer.” Reid was going to give Ethan a complete lesson on the effects of alcohol on the body, and the ways to carry out gay sex -- safely.
On the way to their home office, Reid and Ethan passed Luke leaving the nursery.
“The kids are both fast asleep.” His brow furrowed. “Where are you two going?”
“I’m going to give my oldest son a crash course on the impact of alcohol and the possible repercussions of unsafe gay sex, along with a how-to on the second. Care to join us?”
Luke bit his lip. “Are you sure I should be there? I’m not the best example for the first part of your lesson.”
Reid could see the old Luke Snyder insecurities creeping to the surface. “You damn well should be there. You’re the best example for the value of waiting to drink until it’s appropriate, and waiting to have sex until you’re truly ready.” Reid took a deep breath, cupped Luke’s cheek, and pressed their lips together. “And for the record, I would never leave you out of anything involving this family. You’re an amazing father, and loving in ways to all three kids that I can never be.”
“Thank you.”
“Luke, you never have to thank me for telling it like it is, but you’re welcome.”
Reid brushed a stray tear from Luke’s cheek. At least he’d averted one crisis. Every once in a while Luke still needed reassurance and Reid was happy to supply it.
“Ethan, let’s get to some real facts about your night of fun with Andy.” Reid paused for a moment. “Oh, and you were right when you were telling him about not being left alone for quite a while to come.”
Ethan lowered his head. Reid had the feeling his son was finally understanding just how much he had screwed up the previous night. Maybe now all five of them could work on becoming a complete, and functional, family. Reid had no intention of repeating previous negative Snyder family traditions.
[TBC]