The Gus Diaries

Part 77

Parental Discontent
 

It’s been a few days since Dad and Pop met with Mom, and the dust still hasn’t settled -- but I guess it’s getting there.

The morning after Dad and Pop returned from Ibiza they still couldn’t keep their hands off each other. While it was kind of gross watching my parents act like, well... my friends and me, I have to admit that it was great to see how close they still could be after all these years.

Most of my friends have admitted that their parents don’t even sleep in the same room anymore. If they only knew about my dads, they’d flip.

For example, when I finally got myself together that morning, I came downstairs with my laptop and backpack and Pop was eating melon and feeding some of it to Dad by kissing him. It’s enough to make a guy lose his appetite. I can only imagine what they must do behind their bedroom door. Shit! Now I feel like I need brain-bleach.

“Hey, you two, I thought this was a PG-friendly zone.”

“Don’t worry, Gus, I’ve seen a few PG films, they’re much more graphic than this. Should I demonstrate?” Pop was chuckling as he spoke, and Dad sat silently and sipped his coffee to hide his smirk.

“Can you both just limit yourselves while I’m eating? I’m a growing boy and right now you’re both making me want to puke.”

“Get over it, Sonny Boy. Justin’s irresistible, which he proved over and over again on our honeymoon.” Now Dad didn’t even bother to hide his smirk as he grabbed Pop’s ass and copped a quick squeeze.

“You’re both gross.”

“Brian, let’s give our son a break and refrain from anything further until he leaves the kitchen.”

I just shook my head and got myself a bowl of cereal with some milk.

When I returned to the table, Dad’s voice took on a more serious note. “You know that we’ll be talking to your mother today?”

“Yeah, I remember.” I guess there’s more than one thing that can make a guy lose his appetite.

“Justin and I are going to invite her, Grandma Deb and Grandpa Carl over for dinner tomorrow night.” I nodded and Dad continued, “We’re also going to invite Melanie.”

That got my attention. “Why?”

“Because she’s also one of your parents and none of us should have important discussions about the directions we take in parenting without all your parents included.” Pop squeezed my shoulder gently as he spoke, and fortunately, it still had just the right calming affect.

“Is this going to be some kind of showdown? Should I go stay with Jeff tomorrow night?”

“While I’m sure you’d have much more fun staying with Jeff, since Grandma Jen and Tucker will be away for another week, you should be here at Britin.”

“Why? I’ll just be in the way.”

“Gus, you’re more than halfway through your sophomore year of high school and more than halfway to sixteen.”

“Justin and I both think that you should be privy to any decisions that ultimately impact you and your future.”

“But aren’t you just going to tell Mom to back off?”

“It’s not that simple, Sonny Boy. I wish it could be, but it isn’t.”

I had a feeling this was going to be another appetite-losing experience, but one that I couldn’t avoid. I wish my Mom’s therapist could just give her a pill and cure her crazy thinking, but I guess that’s impossible.

Uncle Michael once told me that Uncle Ben’s religious meditation and guidance shit is the way he copes with his illness, and that it helps him deal with living day-to-day. That, combined with his meds, keeps him as healthy as possible.

I guess Mom needs the combination of a shit-load of therapy and meds to get her on the right track, but it’s also an ongoing process.

Too bad being crazy isn’t more like having the flu -- get it, take meds, rest and it’s gone in a week or two.

This really sucks and I’m definitely not looking forward to the Taylor and Kinney version of High Noon. (I watched that once with Dad -- it’s a cool old western, but it’s fucking tense.)

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

After school that day, I didn’t have work so I went to the diner with Jeff. Since basketball season was over and there was no newspaper meeting, my afternoon was clear. I thought about heading over to Kinnetik and doing my homework there, but being near Jeff, despite the fact that he’d be busy working, was much more appealing.

I settled at the back booth and started doing my homework when, without my asking, someone placed a hot fudge sundae in front of me.

“Jeff, you didn’t have to...” Then I looked up and smiled.

“Jeff is busy with some customers in the front half of the diner. This is one of my tables.”

“Thanks, Grandma. You didn’t have to do this.”

She sat opposite me in the booth. “You’re right, I didn’t have to do this, but I couldn’t resist.”

“Couldn’t resist?”

“Sitting there doing your homework -- you remind of Michael all through school.” I just looked at her and nodded, inviting her to continue. It was a welcome distraction. “Until Michael and Brian started hanging out together after school, he’d come here every day, sit in this exact booth, in your exact seat and do his homework. I’d always bring him a sundae for his snack.”

“Lucky Uncle Michael.”

“There was a time I thought he resented it.” She had this faraway look in her eyes for a moment. “But I know better now.”

“Huh?” She had me confused.

“Never mind, sweetie. You just enjoy that ice cream and keep working on all your homework.” Then she pinched my cheek and softly tapped the spot she pinched. “I’m really proud of you. Now don’t worry about tonight. Just remember, everyone involved loves you.”

“Thanks, Grandma. I love you, too.”

The bell at the ordering window started sounding repeatedly. “Hey, I haven’t gone deaf, but I’ll be happy to shove that fucking bell in your ear if you ring it one more time. Then you’ll have something between your ears.” She got up and went to pick up her orders. I hope the food didn’t get too cold while she was sitting with me. But then again, no one would dare complain unless they wanted to get Grandma’s back talk in a major way.

A few minutes later, there was a lull in the mid-afternoon coffee break rush and Jeff came over. “So, Newbie, do you want me to come home with you tonight?”

“Could you? You’ll probably want to stay in my bedroom when the parents all have their pow-wow about Mom, but it’ll be good to know you’re there when it’s all over.”

“Sure. That’ll give me a chance to do my homework while you guys are all talking.”

“Let me call my Dad and see if it’s okay.” Usually I’d call Pop about shit like this. Unfortunately, I knew his cell phone would be turned off while he was in the gallery, and I didn’t want to risk getting my mom. I was avoiding all contact with the gallery, which kind of sucked. I liked hanging out with Pop sometimes, and I didn’t even feel comfortable stopping there for five minutes.

Dad okayed Jeff’s visit. I was pretty sure he would, knowing I might need someone after whatever was decided.

It wasn’t long before the bell over the diner’s door rang, and Jeff had a new table to tend to. I went back to my homework and tried to concentrate.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

Dad, Pop, Jeff and I had dinner on the early side, and it wasn’t long after that we heard the doorbell sound.

I was glad to see that everyone came together -- Mom, Grandma, Grandpa and Mem. At least they were able to get along well enough for that, although I sensed that they didn’t talk about much on the ride over.

Pop guided everyone into the front living room. He had a fire lit, which softened the atmosphere.

I gave Jeff a quick kiss. “Why don’t you go hang out in my room. Hopefully, I won’t be too long.”

“Just stay calm. I’ll be sending you good karma.”

I chuckled softly, “Now you sound like Uncle Ben.” He smiled, kissed me one more time and headed upstairs.

Everyone was seated and Pop served them soft drinks and sat down as well. Within a minute Dad made his entrance.

He walked over to the fireplace with a glass of wine and placed it on the mantel, not taking a sip. “I’m sure you know why we’re all together tonight.”

“Brian, I’m not sure this is a good...”

Dad cut Mem off, “It doesn’t matter whether it’s a good idea or not. What matters is Gus and I don’t think everyone in this room understands that.”

“Look, Brian,” Mom began, “if this is about my offer to give Gus the best opportunities possible in New York City, I think you’re quite mistaken. He’s always been my first priority.”

I noted that Dad gripped the stem of the wine glass. I was surprised it didn’t snap in half. “Bullshit!”

“How can you say that? You know how much I love our son.” Mom stood up in front of her seat on the sofa, but Grandma quickly guided her back down.

“Honey, why don’t you hear Brian out first.” Grandma seemed to feel she had to speak to Mom like she would break if she raised her voice.

“Thank you, Deb.” Dad released the glass and stood facing everyone. “I hope I don’t need to remind you that Justin and I have physical custody of Gus, which we all agreed upon.”

Mem and Mom nodded, while Pop sat gazing from me to Dad.

“Good. Then, Lindsay, you might remember that you cannot take him across the street if I don’t want you to.” Dad quickly turned to me and his voice softened, “You know, Sonny Boy, I would never stop you from making decisions about where you want to be. While I fucking love having you with Justin and me, it’s always your call which of your parents you want to live with.”

At that moment Pop stood up, walked over to Dad and placed an arm around Dad’s waist. It was a small gesture, but said so much.

“Brian, I don’t think you’re thinking of Gus.” Mom really should have kept her mouth shut.

“The fuck I’m not!”

“Brian.” Pop’s cautionary tone sent a chill up my spine. He knew Dad was at the end of his fuse and wanted to somehow stop what was coming next.

“How can you say that? I want to give our son everything, and you want to hold him back -- just like Justin.”

Now I knew Mom went too far, and obviously so did Mem. “Lindsay, enough.”

“No, Mel. Brian wants to keep certain people close and throw me aside.”

You could have heard a pin drop in the room.

Dad finally took a long gulp of the wine that was resting on the mantel. “Lindsay Peterson, you have no idea how self-centered you really are.” His tone was cold and steady, and I was glad it wasn’t directed at me. “You’re just as bad as your mother.”

“Brian!”

“Shut up -- you’re done. Our son, and I’m referring to his four parents, not just you and me, like my husband, needs New York City at this moment like he needs a second asshole. It just doesn’t make any goddamn sense.”

Pop touched Dad’s arm but he shrugged it off. “You manipulated and robbed me of the one and only love of my life once, a mistake we’ll never make again, and now you’re trying to rob me of the only other person that can bring me more joy than is measurable.”

Fuck, when Dad said that, I couldn’t help but get a bit choked up. He doesn’t say things like that often, but when he does, their impact can be felt throughout the room.

“Brian, we can still share the special...”

“Don’t make another sound about removing Gus from Britin, Pittsburgh or the entire fucking State of Pennsylvania, otherwise, I may be tempted to have you put away.”

Grandma softly whispered, “Brian, honey, take it easy.”

“I will not take it easy.”

“Lindsay, look at me. Gus goes nowhere unless he chooses to do so. Do you understand?” Mom nodded. Her eyes were moist. “Here’s another piece of information that I don’t think you’ve clearly understood -- NEVER in this life or any goddamn afterlife, if there is one, will you and I ever be a couple. Right now, I can’t even imagine being your friend because I despise you and the manipulative, hurtful person you’ve become over the years.” Now there were tears running down Mom’s face but she remained silent. “I may not have seen your motives when you and Mel took my son to Canada and twisted my otherwise rational thinking to encourage Justin to head to the big fucking apple with no real contacts, but the picture is as plain as day now.”

Dad paused, took another gulp of wine then stood right in front of Mom, looking down at her. “You can cry 50 gallons of tears, but I will never care about you in the way you’re fantasizing.”

“But, Brian, we could be so happy.” I nearly fainted when Mom said that. I thought she’d gotten beyond all this bullshit.

“No, Lindsay, there’s no we and there never will be. If you’ve been holding out hope for that, you’re sicker than I thought.” Dad glared at her and his eyes scared me -- they were the eyes of someone whose pain ran so deep it was unreachable. He choked, “I will never want you. I am one hundred percent gay and I have only loved, and will continue to only love, one person in that special way for the rest of my life. This use of Gus to manipulate us all as your marionettes is over.”

Then Dad turned to me and his face softened considerably. “Gus, as one of your custodial parents, I would strongly recommend you not see your mother alone for the foreseeable future. The ultimate decision is yours, but as far as I’m concerned, she’s not trustworthy, and I don’t ever want you put in a position like that again.”

Dad offered me his hand and I took it and stood up. He gripped me in a tight hug and whispered in my ear, “I love you, Sonny Boy, and I don’t want your mother to ever hurt you again.” He held me a little longer. I think he was afraid to let go.

When he left our embrace, he slowly walked back to the fireplace, took his wine glass and left the room.

Pop stood in front of everyone, alone. He gazed in the direction that Dad had walked and then looked at me, and I detected a note of pride in his expression.

Mem stood up and walked over to me and held my hand. “Brian’s right. I can’t believe I’m fucking saying this, but you’re lucky to have him as a father. He and Justin are excellent parents.”

She leaned over to give me a hug and I whispered in her ear, “You’re pretty excellent, too, Mem.”

A smile crossed her face. “Deb, Carl, I’ll be waiting outside.” Mem quickly left.

Grandpa walked over to Mom who was just sitting and crying. “Come on, hon. It’s time to go. You have a lot of work to do in Pittsburgh before you ever consider leaving town.”

We all knew what Grandpa meant, and I was glad that Mom nodded her apparent agreement.

After they slowly walked out, I hugged Pop. “I love you and Dad so much.”

Pop nodded. “We know. And if you multiply the amount you love us by a million, you still wouldn’t reach just how much we love you.”

“Dad just gave up a lot for me, didn’t he?”

“Gus, he did, but it was so worth it.”

Pop and I walked upstairs. I was heading to Jeff, just wanting to be held by him, and Pop went into the master bedroom. Glancing his way as I passed their room, I saw Dad sitting on the edge of the bed. Pop touched his shoulder and Dad turned around. His eyes were red and puffy, and he gripped Pop in a hug that seemed like he was holding on for dear life -- maybe he was.
 

Return to The Gus Diaries