The Gus Diaries

Part 58

Unexpected Bumps
 

Basketball season is fully underway. We’ve played a couple of away games and won them both. The teams weren’t a big challenge for us. I know that might sound immodest, but it’s the truth, so why lie?

This past Friday night we had our first home game. It was with a pretty good team but we knew we wouldn’t have too big a challenge anyway.

However, that game posed a much bigger challenge for Jeff and me. That game was almost the end of our relationship.

It started last Monday at lunch. We were sitting with some of the other guys on the team.

Matt started it off, “My girlfriend couldn’t help opening her mouth when she visited last night. Now my folks want to go to this week’s game and watch their big boy in action.” He rolled his eyes.

“I know what you mean.”

“How so, your dads live in West Virginia?”

“Yeah, but when they got the game schedule they decided to stay at work, which IS in Pittsburgh for both of them, and come to the game.” I made a face showing how ridiculous I thought the whole idea of my dads coming to such a no-brainer game would be.

“Well, think of it this way, Gus, they’ll be sure to see us win.”

“I’d rather have them see us win a championship.”

“And they will if your boyfriend has anything to say about it.”

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized Jeff was staring off into space, trying to ignore the conversation. He had a faraway look that I couldn’t quite figure out.

“Hey Jeff, are you okay?”

He started.  “Yeah, fine, sure.” Then he rolled his eyes, “Parents can be such a fucking pain.”

That’s when I understood that look. I could have kicked myself for being so fucking thoughtless, but it wasn’t the time or place. “Can I join you for dinner at the diner today, if it’s okay with my dads’ schedules?”

“Sure, Newbie, that would be great. I get my break right around the time you get off work at Red Cape.”

“Cool.” That seemed to lighten the mood. After that, all of us started talking about how we skunked the team the previous week, winning by a landslide, 92-52.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

After work I got my shit together and practically ran to the diner. By the time I got there, Jeff was just taking off his apron to go on his dinner break. I noticed that he had reserved the back booth with his jacket and as he headed towards the table, I snuck up behind him and gently bit his neck.

He swirled around like lightning, “What the fuck... hey, it’s you.” He leaned in and kissed me and we went over to the booth.

“So what are we having tonight?”

“Spaghetti and meatballs. It’s the Pink Plate Special, but not enough people are ordering it so we can have our servings for free.”

“Sounds like just what I was hoping for.”

I sat down at the booth and Jeff went into the kitchen to get us our plates of food. Then he got us each a large soda and finally sat down opposite me.

“So, Newbie, to what do I owe this semi-unplanned get-together?”

I blushed. Jeff knew me so well. “I guess it’s obvious I had something to talk about.”

“No shit! And it was equally as obvious that it wasn’t something you wanted to talk about in front of the guys. So what gives?” Jeff started eating heartily. He works so fucking hard at the diner, if he didn’t eat high carb meals he’d probably be as skinny as a rail.

I played with my food and took a small bite. Jeff finally paused from his eating. He looked at me and put down his fork. “This must be serious.”

“I guess it sort of is.” I took a breath, “You know at lunch today when you seemed to space out for a minute?”

He nodded, “Yessss.”

“Well, I think I figured out what was going on.”

“You did. And what does Detective Kinney think he figured out?” Jeff was getting sarcastic and I knew that meant he was nervous.

I tilted my head and smiled so he’d relax. “I prefer intuitive, Investigative Reporter Kinney if you don’t mind.” That got a chuckle.

“Okay, so what do you think?”

“I think that you want your parents, or at least your mother at that game this Friday -- or at least you want her to want to be there as much as my dads want to be there.”

Jeff didn’t say anything. He simply rolled his lips inwards and then put another mouthful of food in his mouth.

“Jeff, please talk to me. You know how I feel about you. Can’t you trust me with how you feel?” I touched his hand and he started to pull it away, but then stopped.

“Okay, Gus. You want to know how I feel, you really want to know how I feel?” Jeff’s voice was soft so as not to attract attention but it was clearly filled with anger and pain.

I nodded. This wasn’t a time to shy away from the tough stuff.

“I’ll tell you exactly how I feel. I’m fucking pissed as hell! I have two parents who are alive but consider me dead to them, all because I have you as a boyfriend. No one but YOUR family attends MY basketball games, on my behalf. I’m the fucking star of the god-damned school’s athletics program and no one I’m related to gives a shit.” He just stopped -- stopped talking, stopped eating, stopped drinking. It was eerie how still he was.

I wasn’t sure if I should try to touch him, but I couldn’t help myself. I placed my hand on his cheek and turned his face so we were looking in each other’s eyes. “Then ask her.”

He looked at me like I had two heads. “What the fuck are you talking about? How the fuck can I ask her?”

“You’re the super student. Just go right over there after school tomorrow, when your father is at work, and ask her.”

“Why the fuck would I subject myself to that?”

“Because the worst that could happen has already happened. The only thing that could change would be that she might actually agree.”

“And if she turns away from me?”

“Then you’re no worse off than you were before.” I took his hand in mine. “In fact, I’ll go with you. If I have to I’ll sit on the curb outside, but I’ll go with you. Neither of us have work tomorrow and practice doesn’t start until five o’clock.”

I held my breath unknowingly while Jeff seemed to soak in all that I had suggested. “You know what, Gus, sometimes you’re fucking out of your mind.” I looked down. “Okay, I’ll make this insane little visit. But if things get worse than they already are...”

“How could they get any worse?”

“I don’t know. But if they do, I’m holding you responsible for putting this crazy idea into my head.”

I gulped and nodded, not knowing what else to say and hoping that I hadn’t just fucked up a good thing.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

That night I told Dad and Pop everything that had happened.

“You know, Sonny Boy, some things are just not meant to be, and if you intrude it could hurt Jeff all over again.”

“So you think it’s wrong for him to try to get his mother back in his life?”

“Gus, it’s not that we think it’s wrong, but if it doesn’t work out, Jeff will relive the pain all over again thanks to your suggestion and encouragement. That’s a heavy burden.” Pop took a pause and then continued, “Your father took a risk trying to help me reconnect with my father when I left home and you know how that worked out.”

“Shit!”

“Yeah Gus, it was for shit. Although, in the end I knew that Brian was trying to help, it still was difficult all the same to learn just how little my father cared about my needs.”

“You guys don’t think I fucked up my relationship with Jeff, do you?” Now I was panicking.

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. “There are no guarantees how people will react when rejected by their families -- especially when you suggested he put himself back into that situation.”

“I did fuck up.” I ran my hand through my hair and started pacing back and forth. “I can’t lose him, Dad, Pop -- I can’t. I know you think I’m too young for real feelings, but I love him so much.” I just kept pacing. What an idiot I was! How could I risk everything?

“Sonny Boy, stop pacing.” I stopped and looked at my fathers. “You didn’t fuck up. Your idea is good, but there may be consequences that will be hard to live with when it’s all over.”

I nodded and went straight to my room. I’m not sure how or when I finished my homework and finally fell asleep. I’m not even sure I really fell into a deep sleep at all. I just knew that the next day better not be the last I spend with Jeff outside of a school or sports environment.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

After school Jeff and I met at his locker and headed off to his parents’ home. We walked silently for a while and finally I felt the need to break the silence. “Jeff, whatever happens, I just want you to know that I made this suggestion because I love you. I hope it won’t fuck us up, but if it does, I just want you to know that.”

Jeff stopped walking suddenly. He grabbed me, messenger bag, laptop and all and kissed me good and hard. “I know, and I fucking love you, too.”

Then he turned and continued to walk ahead. I smiled knowing I’d been heard, and hurried to catch up.

When we reached the front door of the Martin house, a shiver ran up and down my spine. I recalled the last time we were here to move Jeff’s stuff out for good. It was awful.

He rang the bell and his mother answered the door as we expected she would. She was obviously startled, “Jeff, Gus, what are you doing here?”

“Dad isn’t home, is he?”

“No, he’ll be at work for a while, but the neighbors...” Shit! This woman didn’t want anyone to report back that she was even communicating with her fag son. I was so pissed off on Jeff’s behalf.

“I won’t stay long, Mom. I just wanted you to know that while I’m independent of you, I still wish you could somehow be in my life.”

“Jeff, I...”

“Don’t say anything. I know Dad probably still plays cards at the club on Friday nights. If you want to demonstrate in any way that you still care about me, we’re having a home game this Friday at the school. I’m pretty sure we’ll win. I’m a good player, Mom, and a fucking amazing student. I’m getting offered scholarships and I’ll be taking one of them next year. I’d like you to see me play.”

Mrs. Martin was about to say something when Jeff held up his hand. “Don’t -- just show up if you care. I know you may not feel able to speak directly with me, but I’ll know if you’re there and that’ll say volumes.” We started to leave and Jeff turned around; Mrs. Martin hadn’t closed the door. “And Mom, for the record, I love you -- I probably always will, but I love Gus, too, and I won’t hide that from anyone -- ever.”

A feeling of warmth overtook me. I was never prouder to know Jeff and be a part of his life than I was at that moment.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

The rest of the week went by as typically as possible. We never spoke of the visit to Mrs. Martin, and if Jeff wasn’t bringing it up, I wasn’t going to be stupid enough to open my mouth a second time. I just hoped that with time Jeff could get past this if she didn’t show up.

I had to admit that the prospect of Mrs. Martin showing up at the game was slim to none, especially since she was so concerned about being seen by the neighbors. Those bleachers would be filled with neighbors and acquaintances.

Jeff planned to come to Britin with us after the game. He’d made sure to get the weekend off to study and to help me prepare for the PSATs. They were right around the corner and I was just about ready for them.

Game night began as usual. The coach gave us some last minute advice before we headed out to the court. I noticed that Jeff kept looking around but there wasn’t any sign of his mother. I don’t think he was surprised but I’m sure he was disappointed -- I know I was.

There were no surprises during the first half. We played a solid game and were up by 20 points by the time the halftime bell rang. As always, we had five minutes to head into the locker room and get a pep talk from the coach. He made sure we were aware that he expected us to be up by 40 points by the end of the game and then he sent us off to “wipe the floor with those amateurs.”

We ran out and I bumped into Jeff who was right in front of me. He’d stopped short. I followed his gaze. There, in the far corner of the bleachers on the second to lowest level was his mother. She was obviously uncomfortable but she was there.

She stayed for the entire game and at the end when Jeff was awarded the honor of MVP for the game she stood up with everyone else in the stands and cheered... and then she slipped out without saying a word to Jeff.

I wasn’t sure what to expect after that.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

On the ride home Jeff told Dad and Pop.

Pop turned around from the front seat. “You know, I remember a time when my mother showed up unexpectedly at a gay event, where my sketches were being displayed. I hadn’t invited her, but she wanted to show her support despite the fact that she still wasn’t fully able to understand how or why she ended up with a gay son.”

“How did you deal with it?”

“Like a seventeen year old.” We all laughed. “But someone said something that I never forgot and I’ll repeat that to you... she came, that’s huge.”

Jeff nodded, “You’re right.”

“Pop, who told you that?”

I noticed Dad smirk as Pop answered, “Melanie, your Mem.”

“No shit!”

“In fact, you were there too, in your Mom’s arms.”

“Isn’t that when your Mom told Linds and Mel the story of the name Gus?”

“Shut up.” Pop gently nudged Dad as he was driving.

“What story?”

“That you, Sonny Boy, are named after Justin’s favorite teddy bear.”

Jeff and I burst out laughing. I knew that Mem wanted to name me Abraham (blech) and Mom wanted to name me Gus. Since Pop had made the final decision between the two, I could just imagine Mem’s face, learning I shared my name with a teddy bear.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

After we got to the house and said our good-nights, Jeff and I went to my room.

“So, Jeff...”

“So, Newbie...”

“Are you mad, happy, angry?”

“In general or with you?”

I started to nibble on my thumbnail. “Both, I guess.”

“Well, in general, I’m pretty fucking glad that my mother came. I’m sorry that she’s so afraid of my Dad that she can’t bring herself to be with me in public, but this was a start. She sent a strong message with her presence.”

“And me?”

“You are so fucking incredible. You took the risk of having me get so pissed off at you that we’d be finished, all because you wanted me to be happy. No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”

Then Jeff grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in to him and kissed me. He began to kiss my cheek, my neck and then moved on to suck on my Adam’s apple. I could feel my toes curling in my sneakers.

He pulled off my shirt hard and fast and undid my pants even quicker if that’s possible. As I pulled off my pants, underwear, sneakers and socks almost in one motion, he rapidly removed his clothing. Our clothes were thrown all over the room so randomly that it would be hard to discern whose belonged to whom.

Then Jeff began to stroke my cock. It was so fast and furious that I was moaning within seconds. I could feel my balls drawing up and then he just stopped. “Fuck!”

“Never fear, Gus, we’re not done yet.”

He turned me around and pressed me down so my knees were on the floor -- actually they landed on my jeans. I was facing the bed and he placed my hands on the bed. “Hold on for dear life Gus.” I shivered with anticipation.

He began to brush his hands up and down my back, licking each place that his hands passed and then moving on. I felt myself thrusting, trying to get my cock to make contact with the bed but he pulled me away. “No cheating,” he whispered in my ear and then bit my neck just enough so I moaned but not enough that it would show.

Finally, he began to knead my ass cheeks. He kept running a finger over my crack and then circling my hole but never entering. “Fuck -- do something!”

“Demanding aren’t we, Newbie...” He squeezed my ass harder and then I heard a rustling. He must have gotten the lube because suddenly and without warning he shoved two fingers inside my hole. “Feel better?”

“Shit -- yes... God -- yes.”

He worked his fingers in and out and then started spreading them inside me. Then he pushed another finger in and I was totally lost. He began to nudge my prostate and I wanted to come so badly. All I would have to do was touch my dick and it would explode but as soon as my hands started to move he stopped them.

Then, once again without warning, Jeff pulled his fingers out, “No!” I heard myself yell and then he immediately replaced it within seconds with his sheathed cock. My back arched and my head leaned back. “Ahhhhh.”

He began to thrust hard and deep. He purposely hit my prostate on every single inward thrust. It was amazing and too much all at once.

Then each of his hands entwined on the bed with each of mine as he thrust in and out, harder and harder, hitting his target every time.

Just when I thought it would be too much and I was about to beg him to let me stroke my cock he thrust in hard and pressed against my prostate and yelled, “I fucking love you, Gus!” as he exploded inside me. I shot all over the side of the bed, yelling some nonsense words.

I collapsed against the bed and Jeff collapsed against me.

Soon after, he pulled out and removed the condom. Then he gently guided me by the shoulder until we were lying down on the heap of clothes on the floor with him spooned against my back.

“That was incredible. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything that intense before.”

“Did you hear what I said, Gus?”

I tried to think of what he was talking about. Then I realized, it was the unspoken messages that Dad and Pop had taught me were an important part of every good relationship.

“Yeah, I heard you loud and clear.”

“Good.”

“I want you in my life forever, too, Jeff.”

He smiled against my back as we lay there catching our breath so that we could crawl into bed and hold each other through the night.

Sometimes taking a risk is definitely worth it.
 

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