The Gus Diaries
Part 55
Picnics
I was really excited when Saturday came around. Normally my enthusiasm centers
around visits with Jeff but this was so different. I really wanted to see my
sister -- to have our special Gus/Jenny Day. Had I left her behind? I didn’t
want to do that, but I know that sometimes happens.
I told Pop not to worry about making our lunches, that I’d do it after
breakfast, but he said that if he got a head start in the morning he’d begin to
prepare a few things for us. As I approached the kitchen I heard my dads talking
so I stopped (not wanting to interrupt, of course).
“Why the fuck are you making so much food?”
“Brian, I think you need another cup of coffee. I told you I’d come downstairs
and get breakfast going. You didn’t have to come with me.”
“Thank you for your extreme kindness, oh organized one,” Dad was in all his
sarcastic glory. He really did need that second cup of coffee on the weekends if
he was to behave like a human being.
“The pleasure is mine, oh grumpy one. Here’s your second cup.”
“Thanks. That still doesn’t answer why you’re making such a shit-load of food
for the kids. Gus eats a lot but Jenny eats like a fucking bird.”
“She is kind of petite, isn’t she?”
“Remember her biological parents,” Dad deadpanned.
Pop snorted, “I see your point. Sometimes I forget who gave birth to which kid.”
“That’s probably a good sign, although genetics do play some role in their
lives. Now stop avoiding the question.”
“Okay.”
At that point I decided to enter the room since it was obvious that Pop had gone
overboard with a picnic that was for me and my sister. “Hey.”
“Hey Gus, you look like you got a good night’s sleep.”
“I did.”
“See Brian, some people can get a good night’s sleep and wake up pleasantly
without a caffeine fix.”
Dad tilted his head back and forth in a way that nearly made me laugh out loud.
“Pick, pick, pick. But that still doesn’t answer the fucking question I asked
you ten minutes ago. Why the picnic binge?”
“Wow, that is a lot of food, Pop. I really don’t think Jenny and I could make
even a dent in it.”
Pop turned to both of us and smacked his hands on the kitchen counter where the
picnic baskets rested, “Okay. You two want to know why there’s so much food?
Here’s the answer -- I wanted to go on a picnic too, so I made enough for Ben,
Michael, you and me. Is that a fucking crime?” Pop took a breath, but not long
enough to let either of us interject a word. He looked directly at Dad. “And I
know picnics are for lesbians or heteros or what ever the fuck excuse you want
to use, but I want one. I like them and I thought today would be a good excuse.
Britin’s grounds are so fucking big there’s plenty of space for us to have a
picnic without invading the kids’ space.” He stopped ranting, crossed his arms
across his chest and turned his back on us.
While I’m not sure where Pop’s anger stemmed from, I certainly got the gist of
the meaning. I waited quietly hoping Dad would say something.
He finally took another sip of his coffee, stood up and put his arms around Pop
from behind. He kissed his cheek and said, “You know, Sunshine, you’re always
saying how people can change but sometimes you throw us both back to a time
before either of us knew what the fuck we were doing trying to navigate a
relationship we were barely ready for.”
Pop turned around in Dad’s arms and I was shocked to see tears rolling down his
still reddened face. “So?”
“So I think a picnic with the Novotny-Bruckners would be very nice and maybe
they’ll go off and leave us for a while so we can fu... make-out on the picnic
blanket.”
“Are you teasing me or do you really mean it?”
“One hundred percent honesty here.” Dad bit his lip and then continued, “I love
you Justin and part of loving you is learning to enjoy some things that are
romantic and sweet and that I may have labeled as inappropriate for us for any
number of ridiculous reasons that are clearly obsolete.”
“I love you, Brian.” Then Pop pulled Dad’s head down for a kiss. They kept on
kissing and I actually heard one of them (I think it was Dad) moan into the
kiss.
“Hey, teen in the room.”
Pop separated and blinked a bit and Dad laughed, “It’s nothing you haven’t seen,
or done, before.”
Then Dad turned to me. “So Sonny Boy, it looks like you and Jenny picked a great
day for your picnic. Is this something you did often?”
I grabbed a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal. Seeing what Pop prepared for
lunch I didn’t want to fill up on breakfast. “We had Gus/Jenny Day once a month.
We’ve been doing it since I was about eight and Jenny was about four. It’s not
always a picnic. Sometimes we go somewhere or just take a walk to the park and
hang out together.”
“Gus, do you think you’ll want to continue these days with your sister again?
It’s okay with us,” Pop added.
“We’ll see. I don’t know how structured we’ll need them to be now that we’re
both older, but I want to make sure I have some time with Jenny for just the two
of us.”
Dad looked up. “Do you think you’ve been neglecting her?”
“Maybe a little. She was pretty pissed off when she called about this.”
“Why do you think she was angry?” I saw Dad’s face and he was close to smirking.
He obviously wanted me to admit the truth.
“Because I’ve been spending all my free time with Jeff.”
“See, Justin, I knew he was as smart as his old man.” Pop tilted his head and
gave Dad a look that told him he got the sarcasm and wasn’t going to add to it.
“I know I’ve been O.D.’ing on Jeff lately. Maybe we should make sure not to
neglect family and friends as we get more involved.”
“Good plan, Sonny Boy.”
Pop finally chimed in, “Your Dad is right. People don’t like to feel like
they’ve been left behind. It only causes bad feelings and misunderstandings.”
“Gotcha. I haven’t really neglected my friends, but I know I’ve been neglecting
family -- beyond you two.”
“Okay, Sonny Boy. As long as you know, I trust you to take care of it.”
Dad went back to his coffee and toast, and Pop went back to finishing the picnic
baskets. I smiled as I ate my cereal knowing that my fathers really did trust me
to handle this like a grown-up.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jenny and her dads arrived at about noon. It really was great to see her and
without even thinking I gave her a big hug and swung her around the front foyer.
“Hey, short stuff, are you ready to go?”
“Jesus, Gus. A week ago you practically forgot I existed and now you can’t wait
to spend time with me. Are you going through some kind of screwed up
multi-personality thing?” Then she smirked at all the dads watching us. “After
all, there’s clearly a shit-load of psychos in this family.”
“Ah, Mikey, I see she really does have so much of you, your mother and Mel in
her.”
“Okay Brian, how do you figure?”
“She’s got the body and balls of her mother, the mouth from your mother and the
extreme drama princess disposition from you, and probably your father.”
“Yeah well, she’s also a fucking genius, wise before her years and can hold her
own with you.”
“And I believe we probably owe a lot of that to Ben.”
“Fuck off,” Uncle Michael snorted, and Uncle Ben led the laughter from the rest
of us, except for Dad who just stood there smirking and then pulled Uncle
Michael in for a hug and a kiss. Sometimes those two live in a time machine when
they’re together.
Jenny never lets anything get by her, “Hey, I’m in the room. Would you stop
talking about me as if we’d already left.” Then she put her hands on her hips,
definitely channeling Grandma Deb. “And for your information, Uncle Brian, I
love all those traits I got from my family, especially my looks. I think Mom is
pretty damn good looking and so does her new girlfriend.”
Pop chimed in, “Is she still dating Marie?”
“Yep, and they had dinner with me a couple of days ago.”
My eyes opened wider on that front, “Don’t stop there tell me more.”
“I’ll tell you later,” she winked. Uncle Michael rolled his eyes and Uncle Ben
kissed him on the head.
“Go ahead, Sonny Boy. Why don’t you and Jenny head over by the patch of maple
trees to the far right, we’ll go the opposite way. And don’t forget...”
“...to leave my cell phone on in case you want to get in touch with us. Got it.”
After a round of laters we took off with our picnic basket, leaving Pop
behind showing Uncle Ben what he had packed for their lunch.
We walked a few minutes and reached our destination. It was this great patch of
maple trees that act as great shade in the warmer weather. There’s just enough
light that gets through to let the grass underneath grow healthy and lush.
We placed our blanket down and set the basket of food down on top. Jenny and I
lay side by side on the blanket staring up at the tops of the trees and looking
further at the blue sky beyond.
“So tell me about Mem; I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks.”
“You haven’t talked to her much lately, either.”
“I know. My dads talked to me about neglecting family and friends in favor of
Jeff.”
“Yeah, sooooo.”
“Sooo, I know I’ve been isolating myself with Jeff during all my free time. I’ll
try to change that a bit.”
“You know there’s nothing wrong with doing things with him, and some of us, at
the same time. It doesn’t mean we’ll all sleep together when the night’s done,
hot stuff.”
“Shut up.” I shoved her a little after that remark, although I knew that she was
just giving me the truth that I needed to hear.
“Anyway, so Mem is dating Marie. They’ve been going out to dinner, the movies
and just plain hanging out. Marie’s kids are pretty nice but they’re all older
than me and go to a different school.”
“Do you think Mem is really serious about her?”
“You know, Gus, I think she wants to be but is really fucking afraid to let
herself get close. In some ways they each lost the love of their lives -- just
in very different ways.”
“That’s very profound for someone your age.”
Jenny leaned up on one elbow and looked at me. “I’m going to be twelve in a few
months, I’m not eight years old anymore. And Dad was right, I am a genius -- not
just at school shit but in the common sense department too.”
“And you’re obviously extremely modest.”
She smirked, “To a fault.”
That got me laughing. “So what do you say we start eating?”
“Sounds great.”
“I’d like to see Mem happy.”
“Me, too. Not that I totally blame your mom but I kind of wish...” Jenny seemed
to go off in thought
“What do you wish Jenny?”
“I just wish that they hadn’t left Pittsburgh in the first place. Somehow, I
think that decision was never really a good one.”
“You know that Mem suggested it, but Mom went along. It’s too bad they didn’t
think it through first.”
“Yeah, it is too bad.” Jenny took a bite of her sandwich and then put it down,
“Do you think we were cheated -- I mean by being dragged to Canada?”
“I have given it some thought.” I wasn’t sure I really wanted to share this with
Jenny.
“And...” I looked at her. She really was getting older and if we were to
maintain our relationship I couldn’t lie.
“And I think Mem should have never suggested taking us away, because it was
based on panic, and when the panic was over they stayed away based on jealousy.”
“So you blame Mommy!” I knew she’d go there.
“No, I blame them both, because Mom never admitted how she really felt, even
from the start. Now she’s finally admitted that she didn’t want to go and
resented it. I just hope...”
“What?”
“I just hope that when she’s with her therapist she’s talking about all that
shit that didn’t let her speak her mind and be honest with herself and the rest
of us. It really fucked up a shit-load of relationships. I don’t know about you,
but I feel like I lost a lot of time with my dads unnecessarily.”
“I know, I do too. I love being with Dad and Daddy. They’re a lot of fun and
they really take the time to focus on doing things we’ll all enjoy, even though
I sometimes like to do things they’re not so crazy about.”
“Like what?”
“Let me think,” she took another bite of her sandwich and I kept eating. No
wonder she was so small, she spent most of her time talking and thinking. It was
as if after that first couple of bites she wasn’t hungry anymore. “Like last
week. There was this movie that Mommy wouldn’t see on principle because she
thought it was pandering to cliches about women, but I really wanted to see it
and it had just come out on DVD. Uncle Ben went out and rented it and we watched
it while eating pizza on the living room floor together.”
“That doesn’t sound like such a big deal.”
“The movie was Sex In the City.”
I spit out a little of the juice I was drinking. “No shit! Okay, they really do
indulge you.”
“Personally I think they just liked ogling this guy called Big.”
I smirked, “Was he?”
“Very funny. They never showed it, but let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised.”
Jenny started chuckling and stopped eating altogether.
“Jenny, are you okay -- I mean with all the shit that’s happened to us, or
really our family, over the last few months?”
“I wasn’t for a while, but I think I’m getting better now. I have friends in
school and I found out I made the cheerleading squad.”
Now I stopped eating. “You’re a fucking cheerleader!”
“Yeah! Mommy nearly passed out. I think it was the first time she realized I
might actually be straight.” She smiled at me. “Dad took it much better until I
told him about all the cute boys on the middle school football team.”
“I notice he’s not calling you Honeybun lately.”
“Not if he wants me to speak to him. Although I don’t really mind if we’re at
home -- then it just feels kind of warm and fuzzy.” I rolled my eyes.
“Yep, you’re straight. Is Mem going to disown you?”
We both laughed. “No, but I think I may actually use this as an advantage to get
to know Mom a little better.”
“You may be the person she gets the closest to since you’ll have the most in
common.”
I looked down a bit realizing the truth of what I had just blurted out. Jenny
took my hand and squeezed it, “Gus, Mom loves us both and we actually all have
the same thing in common if you think about it -- we all like cock.”
“Jenny!” She couldn’t stop laughing out loud. “Now you really do sound like
Grandma Deb.”
“More like your Dad.”
“Oh shit, don’t tell your Dad, he’ll never let us get together again.”
We both simultaneously fell back on the blanket and continued laughing even
louder and harder.
We spent a great time together. When we finished eating we took a little walk
and then we played Frisbee for a while.
“Jenny, we probably should go back to the house now.”
“I know.” She hugged me tightly. “Gus, I want to have a visit with Mom, but I
don’t want to go alone.”
“I see. I guess that means that you want me to go with you.”
“I know you haven’t been happy with Mom but don’t you want her in your life?”
“I do. What about if we have dinner with her at Grandma Deb’s. I’d feel better
with Grandma and Grandpa around, too.”
“I’d like that.” I sensed she wanted to say something else. “Gus?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you’re growing up and we don’t live in the same house, but...” she
turned away. I could tell she was really nervous about continuing which wasn’t
normal for her.
“But what, Jenny? You can tell me anything.” I walked up behind her and put my
hand on her shoulder.
“But I really want my big brother in my life. I want to feel as close as we did
when we lived with each other.” Then she looked me right in the eye and I could
tell she was trying to be brave and mature and keep herself from crying. “I know
we’re not really related but I do feel like you’re my brother and...”
“Don’t even say that! I’ve been a fucking bad brother, but it’s not cause we’re
not related by DNA. You ARE my sister and nothing will ever change that.”
She pulled me into a tight hug. “Oh Gus, I’m so glad to hear that. I thought now
that you were living with your dads you didn’t give a shit about me anymore. Can
we please keep getting together, even if it’s with Jeff, too, sometimes?”
“You bet, kiddo.” Then I pulled away from her and wiped a tear off her cheek. “I
promise, and I never break a promise.”
“You are a lot like your Dad, and your Pop, even though you didn’t start living
with them until last year.”
I hugged her one more time, “Thanks, you’re pretty damn special too.”
“I know.” I could feel her smirk against my shoulder.
“Let’s go, short stuff.” I poked her in the ribs.
“Hey!”
“Gotcha.”
“Fuck off.”
“You know you have a lot in common with your Dad too.”
We looked at each other and both started laughing our heads off as we picked up
the basket and the blanket and headed back to Britin.
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