The Gus Diaries

Part 5

Away Games

OMG, I can’t believe it!!!!! I can’t wait to tell Dad & MJ. I just got the biggest news I could ever imagine. Coach told me that I was picked as one of the alternates for the varsity basketball team. I don’t like to brag, but, since this is my journal I can do whateverthefuck I want. Coach said that not only am I tall, smart and strategic, but that I also have a good eye for following the ball. The tall and smart I get from both my mom and dad, but the strategic and the good eye comes straight from Dad. The best part is that I get to go to all the games, including a special tournament for the entire state of Pennsylvania. Hey, it’s only 3 weeks from now…YeeHaw!!! (That weird exclamation is straight from MJ.)

 

* * * * *
 

Tonight was the best. Dad and MJ were so proud of me that we had a real celebration. At first it was really strange. Both Dad and MJ said (almost at the same time), “Achievements and accomplishments are the most important things to celebrate.” It makes a lot of sense, but hell, those two always seem to have some excuse to celebrate with each other. I guess they consider making it through each day an accomplishment.

We went out to a really cool restaurant. I actually had to wear my sports jacket but no tie. I think Dad was glad I didn’t need a tie. He’s still not too thrilled with the collection I picked out for school. It’s hilarious watching him cringe every day when I get dressed. That’s half the fun of having to wear a tie each day. Anyway, back to the restaurant – it was a REAL Italian place. Not like the pasta palace that I heard Uncle Ted once worked for where he sang opera while waiting tables. (That’s such a fucking great story. I wish someone had taken a video of that. I love my Uncle Ted, but he’s such a dork.)

This restaurant is called Papagano’s and is really fancy. The waiters all wear tuxedos and the lights are kept really dim. I guess it would be a great place for a date if I gave a shit about that kind of thing. Dad and MJ held hands under the table a couple of times—I can always tell because that’s when MJ would start eating lefty. It must be very convenient being ambidextrous. We had these really great meals. They had fancy names like marsala and francaise. Who knew you could make veal and chicken any way but in a broiler. I should tell my moms?

The meal was great. The three of us really have a good time together. I love being with my dads. I know it’s really uncool to like being with my parents but they’re really easy going and respect me so I’m pretty sure it’s different than the rest of my friends and their relationships with their parents.

 

* * * * *
 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!! It’s been two weeks since I last wrote anything because I wasn’t sure what to write but I think I’d better do it now. I don’t know what to do but I have a feeling I’m getting in way above my head at basketball practice and telling my dads is a scary option. They’d totally freak!!!

It all started two days after the big celebration dinner. After school I stopped by the school paper to drop off my article for the next issue and then ran straight to the locker room to get ready for practice. Most of the guys were finished changing and heading out to start doing their pre-practice laps (those really suck) when Jeff walked by me. He’s a really tall, slim junior who has his own car (a hot looking black Jeep) and every girl in the school drooling when he’s in their vicinity and every guy wishing they were him.

Anyway, as Jeff walks by me he rubs against my shoulder. I just figured it was because the aisles where those lockers are couldn’t be narrower so I just shrugged it off and said, “Hi Jeff, how’s it going?”

“Fine, how about you newbie?”

“Okay. I’m really psyched about being on the Varsity team…well, as an alternate.”

“Hey, it’s really cool that you got picked. You’re definitely in good shape.”

That was it and we went off to do our laps. Nothing else happened for a couple of days until it was time to start talking about the big tournament.

Everyone was getting excited and planning all things they’d do “after” the tournament while we were in the hotel. Some guys were hoping to “get into the cheerleader’s skirts”, others were trying to figure out the best way to get a hold of beer without letting the coaches know and then the geeky equipment guys were planning to all flush their toilets at the same time to fuck the plumbing in the hotel. That last idea sounded so stupid that I wondered how those guys managed to dress themselves each morning.

Since I’m the youngest member of the team I just wanted to shut my mouth and not rock the boat. I was going about my business changing to go home and then it happened…

“So newbie, what are your big plans for the game weekend?” Jeff asked.

“Who me?” (I can certainly be eloquent, can’t I?)

“There’s no one else here but you and me, and I’m not crazy enough to talk to myself.”

“Uhm, to stay out of trouble.” (Brilliant and eloquent—maybe I should just have crawled under a locker.)

Jeff just laughed, “That sounds way too safe for such an eventful weekend. Maybe you and I can get to know each other better.”

“Uhm, sounds great.” I started getting the feeling that this was all some surreal fantasy.

“Cool. Later newbie.” And then the message came in loud and clear. As Jeff started to pass me to leave the locker room he put his hand on one cheek and quickly kissed the other one.

I was frozen and just watched him leave with a smile on his face. Sixteen years old, hot, popular AND he likes me. Either that or he just thinks I’m hot. The strangest thing is this doesn’t bother me…in fact, I’m feeling kind of funny, but not in a bad way. Oh shit, how will I ever tell my dads? My moms, what the fuck should I tell my moms? It’s a good thing they’re in Canada. Then I was beginning to feel like puking. Fourteen years old sucks!!!

 

* * * * *
 

Dinner that night was quiet. I tried to stay focused on my food but it just wouldn’t go down so I just kept spreading it out, hoping that it would look like I was eating more than I really was.

Finally Dad, in his inimitable fashion, said, “Okay Gus, what the fuck is going on?”

When I started choking and coughing uncontrollably, Justin chimed in, “Oh fuck, Gus we’re not angry but it’s obvious something is on your mind and we’d like to know what’s upsetting you. You usually eat like a horse, especially now with all the time your putting in on your basketball skills.”

That was it, then I really started choking. No one will ever be able to call me a poker-face.

Dad continued, “Is it basketball? Did they put you back on J.V.? It’s okay, you’ll get back on the varsity team soon enough.”

Then Justin added, “Is someone on the team giving you a hard time? If so, you need to talk to the coach, we’ll back you up.” Dad nodded his agreement.

That was it, time to confess. I looked at both of them and said, “I’m not sure how you’ll take this but I think, I think, I’m pretty sure…” Once again, I continue to be so eloquent.

“Gus, I’ve never known you to stutter and I know you can think so what the fuck are you trying not to tell us?” Dad has such a way with words, too.

“I’m gay, or at least I think I am—maybe bi, but I’m just not sure about that yet. There, are you happy, you know.”

After a brief moment of silence to absorb what I said, Justin and Dad looked at each other, smirked and finally Justin asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Jeff flirted with me, kissed me…on the cheek…and, uhm, I kinda liked it.”

Then that diarrhea of the mouth problem began again, “But now we’re going away together, as a team, and he basically asked if I want to hook up at night after the tournament and I think I might want to and, and, and he’s really hot.” I think I ran out of breath or I probably would have continued on forever not knowing what I was babbling about.

I dared to look at them both and all Justin said was, “Is 14 some kind of fucking magic age in the Kinney DNA? Locker rooms, is that another Kinney prerequisite for sexual initiation rites?”

And then the strangest thing happened. They both started laughing. Not giggling, they never just giggle, they all out laughed, straight from the gut.

“Hey, what’s so funny? I just told you I think I’m gay and you’re laughing—what gives?”

Dad put his arm around my shoulder and simply stated, “Your biological parents are gay, well mostly.” Then Justin smacked Dad’s arm, I think I missed something. “They’re each in a same sex marriage. I think it’s a safe bet that we’re pretty open to the fact that you might have a genetic disposition to being homosexual. Did you want us to cry or be upset? Justin, you’re a great drama queen, can you queen-out for Gus so he thinks he’s gotten the appropriately intense reaction.”

Justin just rolled his eyes and said, “I learned from the best,” and then he started clearing the dinner dishes.

“Oh, and Gus, one more thing,” Dad continued, “Sometime before this tournament, you, Justin and I are going to sit down and have a very long chat about the bees and … the bees. I know you’ve learned about safe sex over the years but I bet you never got the version we’ll be discussing.”

“Fuck!”

 

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