The Gus Diaries

Part 47

Jeff
 

Last night Jeff came out to Britin with me and my dads. It was Friday night and we all had the weekend off so I invited Jeff to stay for the weekend, not that this was uncommon, but I knew that he and I needed to have a talk. Not just any talk, but I wanted to get a chance to really talk to him when we weren’t in bed, about my birthday plans.

It always seemed that we’d talk about having sex when we were in bed doing everything but intercourse. I know that it might seem like overkill, but I really wanted to make sure we were both on the same page before I took this step.

I know Jeff isn’t a virgin. His former asshole boyfriend took care of that, and maybe that’s better. At least one of us knows what he’s doing and how everything is supposed to work.

Fuck, I haven’t even talked to Jeff, truly talked to him, about the fact that I want to, well, bottom. He bottomed for his last boyfriend, and only actually got to fuck him once or twice. He told me that once. I got the sense that he regretted not being the top more often.

But, like I said, it just seemed like we needed to talk about shit like this before we actually did it.

I know, from reading the book Dad gave me, and talking to Pop, that when a person tricks they don’t discuss much at all. But this isn’t about tricking. This is about love and if we can’t talk about it then maybe we aren’t ready.

I’m pretty sure we’re both on the same wavelength, but we won’t know for sure until we actually sit down together.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this to be some clinical bullshit and make it lose all the romance involved. It’s just that it seems that if two people want to make love, they should know what they’re doing and where they plan to go with their relationship after the fact.

Jeff and I have talked about a lot of stuff, but the part about making love always seems to come up while we’re fooling around or immediately after, when we’re both hungry for more. Hell, that’s an understatement.

Last night I was determined to talk first, touch later.

The good news was that Dad and Pop were going out with their friends last night. They were all going to see a movie, then go to Woody’s for a couple of games of pool and some drinks. Since they both like to drink when they get the chance, Dad arranged for the Kinnetik limo to drive them around and if any of their friends drank too much there’d be plenty of room to give them a ride home too.

It sounded like they’d be out for hours so Jeff and I had plenty of time to be alone. In fact, I kind of thought Dad and Pop would just stay at the loft.

As we were finishing cleaning the dinner dishes I asked, “Dad, how come you and Pop aren’t just staying at the loft tonight?”

“Sonny Boy, remember the chat we had last week?”

I couldn’t believe it actually took a minute for me to figure out what he was talking about and then I looked at him and he raised one of his eyebrows while smirking and the fucking light bulb went off. “Oh that.”

“Yes, that.” Dad paused for effect. “After that little discussion, I feel that it’s prudent for your parents to be available to you if need be.”

“Yeah, but Dad, you know I was talking about my birthday, not tonight,” I whispered so Jeff wouldn’t overhear.

“Sometimes the best laid plans, and I mean that somewhat literally, go astray.”

“I see.” I was a bit disappointed that Dad thought Jeff and I couldn’t stay in control.

“Sonny Boy, look at me.” I looked up and my face must have clearly demonstrated my feelings. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just want to be here if things get out of hand ahead of your intended schedule -- you might need to talk the next morning.”

I nodded but didn’t respond.

“That’s Justin’s and my job as responsible parents -- to be here for you when you need us -- and we’re trying to stick to that role...like glue.”

I looked at Dad and smiled, realizing he was more concerned than anything else. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t going out; he just wanted to be near in the morning if I needed him. I don’t think too many parents would think about that, but maybe I’m wrong.

Oh well, it doesn’t matter, because my dads thought of it.

After they left about an hour later, Jeff and I were finally all alone in Britin.

“So Newbie, any ideas how we can entertain ourselves, considering we have this huge mansion all to ourselves?” He snickered a bit and I almost lost all my conviction and purpose for the evening when he started slowly rubbing one hand over my jeans-covered cock and the other brushed through my hair.

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek so he’d know I wasn’t mad and stepped back. “Actually I do have a couple of ideas for the evening, and I hope you’re willing to go along with part one.”

I held Jeff’s hand and walked him to the front living room. I love the big fireplace in that room and had it not been summer I would have definitely built a fire, but considering we were relying on air conditioning for comfort I skipped the fire.

I did dim the lights to set a slightly romantic mood, hoping that after our chat Jeff would still want more than just conversation. I just hoped that I didn’t totally turn him off with all my desires to plan ahead. I know Dad can be really organized. I wonder if this personality trait is genetic.

We sat down on the sofa facing the fireplace and I made sure that we were facing each other.

“Is everything okay Gus? You seem sort of strange for a guy whose parents just left him alone with his boyfriend for the entire evening.”

I could see the concern in Jeff’s eyes and I didn’t want him to linger in despair thinking something was wrong, so I plunged right in. “I’m okay but I want to talk about plans for my birthday before we do anything else.”

“Okay...is there something special you want to do? Maybe I could take you to some ritzy restaurant like Papagano’s. I’ve been saving a shit-load of money this summer.”

I shook my head and smiled at him, “That’s a really nice idea, but I wasn’t talking about the evening part of my birthday, I was thinking about after any activities were done.”

I could tell I’d lost Jeff by the VERY confused look on his face. “I mean I wanted to talk about you and me...alone...at night.”

He nodded his head, finally understanding where I was going with this conversation. “I know we’ve talked about finally going all the way on your birthday, but I didn’t want to push it...in case you were just saying that but weren’t really ready.”

I took Jeff’s hands in mine and threaded our fingers. “I’ve thought a long time about this, and I even spoke to both my dads about it -- separately.”

“You spoke to your fathers!”

“You know how cool they are. They really did just listen and advise. They didn’t dictate.”

“That’s good.” Jeff let out a sigh of relief, that looked so cute. “So what have you decided during all these thoughtful moments without me.”

“That’s the point, I needed to think without you around. Whenever you’re near me my thoughts are so focused on being with you that I can’t think clearly.”

“I guess that’s good, but does that mean that you really want to wait?”

“No, it means that I really feel like I’m ready to show you in every way that I can that I, I, I love you. But I also know that unless you honestly feel the same way, I’d just as soon not do anything.” Jeff nodded and remained silent. He seemed to sense that there was more. “I’ve spent my whole life hearing little bits about my Dad -- how he used to fuck everything that was somewhat hot, male and breathed. I don’t think I can be anything like that. I guess I’m more like Pop. I want to have a special connection with someone.”

“But I thought Justin used to trick too.”

“He did, but I get the sense that he did that because that’s what Dad taught him was the best way to be gay. I don’t agree. I think I can be a pretty decent gay man and want to love someone and be loved before we fuck...well, really make love.” I looked up at Jeff and his face wasn’t giving any indication about what he was thinking. “You may think that makes me some silly faggot, but it’s just how I feel.” I looked at Jeff and then down at our hands that were still entwined.

He lifted one of his hands and brushed my hair from my forehead so gently that I barely felt it. “I can tell you’ve been thinking a lot about this.” I just nodded, not able to say anything else until I heard more from Jeff. “There’s one thing for sure, you are NOT a silly faggot.

“You’re beautiful and honest and brave.” Jeff rubbed my shoulder gently. “Gus, after my last boyfriend I wasn’t sure being gay and being in love with only one person was possible. But now that we’ve been together for...wow...ten months, I know the difference between what I had with him and what I have with you.”

Jeff began to softly run his fingers over my lips to make sure I didn’t interrupt; it felt so tender and intimate. “I know, without a doubt that I love you. Is it the kind of love that lasts forever? I guess we won’t know for a while. But I do know that when I’m with you I always feel whole and when we’re apart you’re always somewhere in my thoughts.”

“That’s how I feel too. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one.”

Jeff chuckled, “No, you’re not the only one.” He paused briefly and then took both my hands in his. “There is one thing though.”

I could tell he was a bit concerned about something, “What’s that?”

“I let my last boyfriend fuck me. I thought we were making love, but I learned the difference since we’ve been together. In fact, it turned out his interests and desires were the only ones that seemed to count in that fucked up relationship. He even convinced me to let some of the tricks he brought to us fuck me too.” He looked down but I lifted his chin and nodded, letting him know that he was safe to talk about this with me. “I didn’t like bottoming. He only let me fuck him twice, but it felt much better.

“I don’t know if I’ll always want to top, but I’d like to with you if you’ll let me. I think I can make you feel good and somehow let you know you’re being loved not fucked.”

The memory of his past boyfriend was obviously still painful for Jeff, so I tried to respond as maturely and lovingly as possible so he’d know that it was always okay for him to tell me anything. “I don’t think your last boyfriend had any idea how wonderful you are and that’s his loss. But as far as I’m concerned I think I’d prefer being cared for and loved...that’s kind of how I look at bottoming.”

Jeff nodded and then quickly moved forward and held me tight. We were both obviously on the same wavelength and it’s impossible to describe how loved and respected I felt at that moment.

We leaned back and I cradled Jeff’s cheek in my hand, “I guess my birthday plans can be complete.”

He smiled, “I guess so. But until then...”

Jeff leaned in and began to kiss me. His hands began to run over my clothing as he opened my lips with his tongue. He still tasted like dinner, but better. Whenever he kissed me he always had this wonderful taste that made me hard.

Soon we both began to shed our clothes. It seemed like we were able to undress without ever separating our lips. Jeff gently leaned me down so that my back was flat on the sofa. We tossed off the extra cushions to create added width.

Jeff began to kiss down my neck and when he started sucking on my nipple while stroking my already hard cock I arched my back off the sofa.

I gripped his arms as I felt myself getting closer to an orgasm but then he stopped. He placed his index finger and middle finger in my mouth and I began to suck them as if I was sucking him off. When he pulled them out I was surprised to find him gently lift my legs above his shoulders.

I looked at him and he smiled, “I’m going to make you feel so good. By the time your birthday arrives we’ll both be wanting each other more than anything.”

With my legs on his shoulders he leaned in to kiss me as one of his fingers entered me. It first felt like the slight burning I was familiar with but then as he stretched me by adding another finger he was able to reach my prostate.

“Oh fuck, oh god,” was all I could say. I arched again and felt him simultaneously kiss me and rub his own cock against mine. We were both so fucking hard.

He began to rub his fingers over my prostate and he thrust them in and out, following the motion of his body as it rubbed up against mine. After that all I remember is that we were both murmuring and moaning. There was no explanation for how I was feeling. We were lost in each other’s bodies and our emotions.

Jeff began to thrust faster and his fingers rubbed almost continually over that amazing spot inside me. I remember yelling his name and him yelling, “I love you, Gus!” and then everything was black for a moment.

I regained awareness, panting, with Jeff on top of me. He slowly recaptured a stable breathing pattern and leaned up on one elbow.

Our chests were covered in our mixed come, and I somehow found that so special that I ran a finger through it and licked it.

“I can’t believe how beautiful and hot you are, Gus.” I could feel myself blushing. “Don’t blush. It’s true. I can’t believe we were both able to come without either of us stroking our dicks.”

“I think I kind of blacked out for a minute. It was such an intense orgasm.”

“You see Gus, that’s why we’re so great together. We really are in synch. I can’t wait to be inside you and to rub against you from the inside and make you move and react like this.”

I drew Jeff back in and held him tight. I didn’t know what to say.

After a couple of minutes I broke the blissful silence, “Jeff...”

“Yeah.”

“You know that we’ll be using condoms, don’t you?”

Jeff looked at me. “Regrettably I do know, but I also understand why.”

After a few more minutes of kissing and holding each other we finally stood up and picked up our clothing to head upstairs to my shower.

We enjoyed a high protein shower, as Dad would say, and then returned to the first floor to watch a movie together.

“Jeff...” There was something on my mind and I had to ask.

“What’s up?”

“Before we start the movie I have to ask you something.”

“Shoot.” We both laughed at the double meaning but then Jeff realized that my question must be serious. “Go ahead Newbie.”

“Did you ever do it without a condom with your last boyfriend?”

“I wondered if you’d ask that.”

“Well?”

“He wanted to. He told me he loved me and that was the way for me to show him I loved him in return.”

“So what did you do?” Now I was getting concerned.

“By then we’d already fucked with a couple of tricks and I wasn’t as stupid and unaware as he must have thought I was. I didn’t need to put myself in danger to show him I loved him. That’s not love; that’s coercion.”

“So you didn’t let him fuck you raw?” I really needed to hear Jeff say it.

“No. In fact that was right about the time he dumped me. But by then I’d learned enough to know what I wanted in a boyfriend and a relationship, and he wasn’t it.”

“I’m sorry he tried to take advantage of you.” I rested my head on Jeff’s shoulder and he put his arm around me as the movie started.

“Let’s call it what it really was. He was trying to use me. To experiment with a willing, naive kid. Fortunately, despite the fact that my parents were of no help, I still had good self-esteem and self-respect. I think it’s from the team and the coach, mostly.”

The movie began and Jeff and I held each other as we watched for a while. After a few minutes I turned and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m glad you respected yourself, because you’re worth it.”

I felt him smile as he kissed my cheek back and then we watched the movie and went to sleep.

Waking in Jeff’s arms is my weekend treat, but last night’s talk is something I’ll always treasure. I hope he does too -- I have a feeling he will.

 

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