The Gus Diaries

Part 140

Dreaming II
 

I wasn’t surprised to hear my dads hovering at my bedroom door just a few days after my third trip to an AA/NA meeting with Uncle Ted. He had repeatedly told me I could go without him; that he didn’t want to cramp my style or make me feel inhibited, but somehow it felt safer having him with me. And he was never too busy to go with me; he was always able to make time for me.

With Jeff’s arm wrapped protectively around me, even in his sleep, I kept my eyes closed as I listened to Dad and Pop whispering.

“Brian, I think this is the best thing for him.”

“I know he formed a habit of taking something to give him an extra lift, to get more accomplished, but does he really need to go to those meetings?”

“You’ve always been honest with everyone but yourself; don’t lie about Gus. Formed a habit is a glorified phrase for addicted.”

Pop’s words made me cringe, but I was careful not to move. It hurt to know how hard it was for Dad to accept what I had done to myself. It hurt even more to know I’d been stupid enough to do it in the first place.

“Do you remember the picture I used to keep on the kitchen island in the loft?”

It took Pop a moment to answer, but I could hear the tenderness in his response. “Dada and Sonny Boy; it was a beautiful shot. Michael really captured a special moment.”

“Yeah.” Dad sighed. “I never wanted him to grow up like me. That’s why I let his mothers take him to the great northern tundra.”

Pop huffed. “They lived in a suburb of Toronto; hardly the great northern anything.”

“I missed watching him grow up.”

“I know; me too.” Pop sighed. “At least we made a point of visiting regularly.”

“Mel thought it was wrong for you to come with me before we were fucking domestic partners.”

“That’s another time we proved how wrong others’ judgment can be. I always knew we’d be together permanently.”

“You do have staying power, bordering the skills of a leech.”

“Very funny, and you know you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I heard them pause and then the sound of them kissing; it was a sound I had become very familiar with since I turned fourteen.

“Justin, will our son be alright? I can’t imagine my world without him it.”

“He’s going to be fine... thanks to your quick thinking in a crisis and the love of all his parents, Jeff, and Ted.”

This time Dad huffed. “Theodore.”

“He’s a special man. You recognized his abilities, and gave him a second chance, long before anyone else in the family trusted him again. I guess this might be his version of pay-it-forward, in a loving way.”

“This probably means I should thank him at some point.”

“You probably have a scorecard of things to thank him for.”

“Probably. But none compare to this.” I could hear the shaky tone of Dad’s voice.

“Only Ted could have taken this step with Gus, and I think our son needed it. I can already see his self-confidence and innate energy returning.”

“Justin--” Dad’s voice trailed off.

“It’s okay, Brian, you don’t have to say anything.”

“I do. It’s important to say things once in a while. You taught me that.” Dad took a deep breath. “You and Gus are my entire world. If anything happened to either one of you, I’d probably revert to the man I was before the night both of you came into my life.”

“Neither one of us is going anywhere. And even when Gus is off to college and then finding his own way, you’ll be stuck with me for the duration -- at least another seventy or eighty years.”

“You expect a lot from us.” I could envision Dad’s tongue in his cheek.

“And I expect us to have the hottest geriatric sex life; far beyond our wildest dreams.”

“I love you, Justin.”

“I love you too, Brian.”

“Maybe we can stop checking on him at night.”

“Maybe we can start checking in before bed and when he wakes up. No need to go cold turkey.”

“Another reason I love you, Sunshine, you’re incredibly reasonable and rational.”

“Glad you recognize all my talents.”

“I always have, and I always will.”

My dads walked silently down the hallway. When I heard their bedroom door close, I rested my head on Jeff’s chest and fell back to sleep, knowing I had been making the right choices -- finally.

 

*~*~*
 

Several days later, I finished my stocking duties at Red Cape early so Uncle Michael let me head over to Kinnetik to meet Uncle Ted with plenty of time to spare. It was no longer a secret that I was going to meetings, and I didn’t see any reason to keep it from the people who loved me the most. Every one of them was proud of me for choosing to go and face my addiction, and I think in some ways it was a relief for all of them too. Even Jeff was finally relaxing his eagle-eye watch on me. He was back to being my boyfriend/partner/lover, rather than my 24/7 stalker/bodyguard.

Uncle Michael had given me a complimentary copy of the newest copy of Rage as I prepared to leave. “Hot off the presses; don’t let it burn your fingers, Gus.”

“Very funny, Uncle Michael. Knowing it’s based on you, Dad, and Pop, and the rest of our family, it’ll probably burn my eyes before it burns my skin.” I chuckled and took the comic, walking the few blocks to Kinnetik.

Knowing I was about thirty minutes early, I asked Cynthia where I could wait and read quietly. She showed me to the empty, small conference room adjacent to Dad’s office. When she left, I closed the sliding door so I wouldn’t bother anyone.

Before I could announce myself, letting them know I was in the room, I heard Dad and Uncle Ted walking into Dad’s office. They were in a heated discussion about contract negotiations with some asshole who wanted a discounted rate until his next quarter earnings.

“I’ll see what I can do, boss, to get his signature on the dotted line without any price breaks.”

“When that prick sees the results of our ad campaign he’ll be paying double without an extra word on his next contract. If he wants the best he has to pay for it.”

“And Kinnetik is definitely the best, Brian.”

“You bet your fucking ass it is.”

“Okay, boss, I’ll take care of this right away.” I heard Uncle Ted start to walk across the room, presumably to leave the office.

“Wait a minute, Theodore.” Uncle Ted stopped moving in response to Dad’s request.

“Yes, boss?”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with my son.” That statement sent a shiver down my spine. Was Dad angry?

“He’s been interested in attending meetings with me. I offered him the option of going alone, but he seems to feel more comfortable with me accompanying him.”

“You didn’t ask me if it was alright to invite him to the first meeting.”

“Brian, Gus is eighteen. This is something that has to be his decision alone. No one can force him to go, and no one should force him to stop.”

“You’ve really grown a pair over the years.”

“I’m not sure if I should say thank you or fuck you. This is who I am now. I’m just glad I’m here to enjoy life as I begin my fifties.”

“Blake is a lucky man.”

“So is Justin, and Gus is lucky to have such a caring and loving father.”

“Gus is lucky to have such a smart, caring uncle too.”

“Thank you, Brian.”

“Thank you... Ted.”

I felt my shoulders relax and the tension leave my body as I closed the comic book and stood to go and announce my presence. For the first time in a while, I felt my life was heading in a great direction and the rest of my family was going to be okay too.
 

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