The Gus Diaries

Part 102

Growing Up II
 

Yesterday afternoon and evening were much more hectic than I ever imagined they could be. Uncle Michael and I were certainly shocked by my little sister’s behavior.

After we spotted Jenny in a major league lip-lock right outside Red Cape Comics, I thought all hell would break loose.

Uncle Michael stormed out the front door of the store leaving me with a crowd of eager Rage purchasers.

“Jenny Rebecca Marcus Novotny! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

If I was her, I would have crawled into the nearest hole, but she just ended her kiss with that Jordan and laughed.

“Oh Daddy, don’t be such an old crab. Mommy knows Jordan and I are going steady.”

“Going steady!” Uncle Michael’s face rapidly reddened. I kept wondering if I remembered enough CPR from my high school health class -- just in case.

Jordan waved good-bye to Jenny and quickly slipped into his mother’s car. She rolled down her window to say something to Jenny, but I got the feeling it was just a friendly farewell since Jenny smiled and waved.

“Get into the store right now and go straight to the staff room in the back.”

Jenny walked calmly into the store. “Hi, big brother.”

I tilted my head but didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry neither of you got to meet Jordan. He’s really great. Although Mommy isn’t crazy about me going out with him.”

Uncle Michael raised his hand dramatically. “Aha! You see, even your mother doesn’t approve of going steady at such a young age.”

Jenny giggled. “That’s not it. She’s upset because he’s a guy, not a girl.”

The door to the store, which thankfully was now empty, the last customer having just left with his prized comic, swung open with a thud.

“Hello to all of you working class retailers. How has the afternoon fared in Superhero Land?”

Uncle Michael ran up to Dad. Pop smirked but said nothing. “I’ll tell you how my fucking afternoon went. It went fine until my sweet little honeybun started to...”

Dad put his hands on Uncle Michael’s shoulders. “Started to what, Mikey? Mind reading is something I have yet to master.”

Pop came over to me. I’m sure he noticed I was looking pretty distraught too. “Gus, is JR alright?”

“I’m fine, Uncle Justin.” She came into the store from the back, holding a Superwoman comic. “These two are having a hissy fit because they saw me with my first boyfriend.”

Dad raised an eyebrow. “Boyfriend? When did you start dallying with the fairer sex.”

Pop poked Dad. “Women are the fairer sex, Brian.”

“Not the way I see them, Sunshine.”

“Asshole!” Uncle Michael got Dad’s attention back. “Didn’t you hear what she said? She has a boyfriend... and they were kissing... in front of the store... where the whole world could see.”

Dad rubbed his hand over his face, hiding his annoying smirk. I was with Uncle Michael on this one. My sister was way too young to be joined at the lips with anyone -- boy or girl. How could Mem let this happen?

Pop guided Uncle Michael to the chair in the back of the store and settled him. “Gus, do you have a bag for Michael to breathe into -- it might help.”

“Been there, done that, Pop -- me, too!”

Jenny shook her head. “Drama Queens! I’m surrounded by a family of drama queens.”

She knelt next to her father. “Daddy, half the girls in my school have boyfriends.”

“Why can’t you be part of the other half?” Uncle Michael was pleading and I began to see the humor in all this but kept my mouth strategically shut.

“Because the girls without boyfriends are all geeks, dweebs, or spasses.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a geek, your father was one.” Dad smiled and Jenny started to giggle.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I have it on good authority that geeks, dweebs, and spasses grow up into hotties.” Uncle Michael gently stroked Jenny’s hair.

“Who led you to believe that, Michael?” Dad started thumbing through a comic, but didn’t really look at any of the pages.

“Ben.”

“Was that before or after you were married?”

“Asshole.”

“See! I knew it -- it was before.”

Pop pulled Dad away from Jenny and her dad and I stayed behind the counter watching them.

“Do you really need to kiss him -- like that?”

“Daddy, I promise -- all we do is kiss. Nothing else. But I like him a lot -- and I like kissing him.”

I thought Uncle Michael might faint until Dad chimed in, “It must run in the family -- you and Ben are always in some clutch and Mel...” He made a gagging noise. “She can’t keep her lips to herself when she’s involved with someone.”

“Thank you for pointing that out, Uncle Brian.”

“My pleasure, little lady.”

“Dad, she’s only twelve years old... and in seventh grade. Isn’t that too young?”

“For kissing?” Dad turned to Pop. “He was with his mothers too long if he thinks twelve is too young for a simple kiss.”

“That’s coming from someone who at fourteen--” Dad clamped his hand over Pop’s mouth so we never got to hear the rest but Uncle Michael started laughing so I guess he knew what the two of them were talking about.

Uncle Michael turned his attention back to Jenny. “Honeybun...” She cringed when he called her by that nickname. “I know you don’t like when I use that term, but we’re with family.” She nodded and let him go on. “Please don’t ever keep me in the dark about your romances. I never want to be blindsided like that again.”

Dad snorted. “Romances! They go home, do homework, play Scrabble, and he kisses her good-bye. That’s not romance, Michael, it’s the advanced version of playing house.”

Jenny snickered.

Pop walked up to her and put his arm around her shoulder. “What’s so funny, JR?”

“I love how Uncle Brian breaks everything down. I think I’ll approach all boys the way he does.”

I started choking. “Don’t tell Mem you said that!”

“Why? Uncle Brian had a lot of boyfriends. I’ve heard the stories.”

Dad glared at me and I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. Uncle Michael’s eyes widened so much I thought they’d pop out of their sockets.

Holding Jenny’s hand, Dad looked at her, ignoring the rest of us. “My dear young lady, you seem to have the story a bit confused.”

“How so?”

“I tri..., I dated a lot of men but I only had one boyfriend. I didn’t meet him until I was twenty-nine.”

“Wow, with all that dating you never found anyone who could rate as boyfriend material?” Jenny was totally focused on Dad.

“Not a one could meet my high standards, and I accepted my life of just dating, until one slipped under the wire.”

Pop wrapped his arms around Dad and rested his head on his shoulder. “And despite how much he tried to get rid of me, because by the time he was twenty-nine he couldn’t imagine having a steady boyfriend, I didn’t let him screw it up.”

“Twat.” Dad kissed the top of Pop’s head and combed his hand through his hair.

“I believe I summed that up quite accurately. What do you think, Michael?”

Uncle Michael smiled as did I. “It’ll do for now.”

“Daddy, can Gus and his dads come over for dinner. I could use some back-up when we tell Dad about Jordan.”

I stared at Jenny. “He couldn’t take it any worse than Uncle Michael and I did.”

“Are you kidding! Dad is a shit-load more overprotective than Daddy.”

Dad smirked. “I see she still takes after her mother in the foul mouth department. We’d be delighted to join you for dinner.” Dad winked at Pop. “It’ll give Justin a night off from slaving in the kitchen.” Pop poked Dad, but the two were smiling at each other. “But call first and tell him some carnivores are on the way -- no veggie crap.”

Jenny worked her way slowly toward me and whispered. “Your Dad is the best.”

I remained silent, knowing she was right.
 

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