COMA CONVERSATIONS

Chapter 5

Day 6


“Hey Ben, how’re you doing? Blake dragged Michael to the showers and then is going to bring him across the street to Starbucks for a higher quality cup of coffee and pastry than the sludge and soggy rolls they serve in the cafeteria.”

So it’s your turn to entertain the invalid. Go for it Ted. I could use the sleep. Maybe you can talk about your latest excitement at the Kinnetik accounting department.

“Pulling Michael away from you hasn’t been easy. With Brian’s permission, we offered to take him to Britin for a brief respite.”

Michael resting at Britin, now that’s an image I unfortunately can imagine in the future.

“He said he couldn’t possibly go that far away. It’s bad enough he sleeps here, but now he insists on showering and eating here as well. He’s scared you might well, you know…”

“He’s scared you might die, you Zen drama queen.”

A new voice.

“Let me tell you, one drama queen can always spot another from a mile away, so don’t bullshit me, Ben Bruckner.”

Emmett. Why’s he having such a hissy fit?

“I don’t know what the hell you were thinking, but, how dare you stop your meds without medical approval. Michael’s beside himself with guilt.”

Good. He knows he really wants this.

“He thinks he drove you to this and we both know that’s bullshit.”

“Emmett, we’re supposed to be speaking to Ben, not yelling at him so he shuts down forever.”

“Look Teddy, I know you’re married to a rehab counselor who preaches soft words and powerful deeds, but let’s face it, this big lug, who our Michael is totally devoted to, did a stupid thing. Maybe if he’s angry enough he’ll come back to yell at me. I can take it, but Michael can’t.”

What the fuck does that mean – Michael can’t?

“What the fuck are you talking about Emmett? Michael can take anything. He’s strong.”

Thanks Ted, now let’s hear your answer to that, Auntie Em.

“Look Teddy, I know you had a crush on Michael years ago and only saw him through rose colored glasses…”

Ted had a crush on Michael! Now that’s news to me. Apparently my husband has had quite a series of interactions with his little circle of friends. Life with me must have practically put him to sleep.

“That was ages ago, Em, and you know I never acted on it, except when I challenged Brian to let Michael go. He gave the challenge back to me and dared me to let Michael go first, and I did.”

“Unfortunately it was to that stupid chiropractor who didn’t know a diamond in the rough when he literally had it in his hand.”

“And bed.”

These two should go on the road with their routine. I wonder if they even remember why they were assigned hospital duty…or if they remember they’re in a hospital.

“Okay Teddy, let’s focus.”

“I agree.”

“Ben, I’m not sure what the fuck prompted your martyr behavior.”

Martyr behavior.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh, Em?”

“What would you call it?”

“You’re right – Ben, what the fuck’s with the martyr routine. Something obviously pissed you off enough to want to end it all. But the problem is that Michael’s suffering too. Did you think of that?”

Michael will be free soon. Then he won’t have to sneak around anymore. I’m doing this for him.

“Look honey, we’re worried about you and if you can somehow hear us, think about Michael.”

He’s all I think about.

“He’s losing weight. I hugged him this morning and could feel his ribs without squeezing tight.”

What! Why’s he losing weight?

“Look Ben, we’re trying to keep forcing him to eat but all he does is nibble on something and then can’t wait to run up here to be with you.”

“Brian even arranged…”

“With Justin’s approval, of course.”

“To give him a night out with just the two of them. Woody’s and then maybe even Babylon.”

“But Michael turned him down flat. He even insulted him and threw back old memories from Justin’s bashing about how he used to handle pain but stated that wasn’t his style. He stands by his man and doesn’t run and hide. It was all very cave man and angry.”

“Em, you really need to stop getting off on other bottoms’ bold behavior.”

“Speak for yourself. Michael is a model to look up to.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m a top – at least most of the time.”

Hey guys, back on topic. What’s happening to Michael?

“Oh anyway, honey, Michael is barely eating and he sleeps in this ridiculous cot next to your bed.”

“I think it’s World War II surplus. Look, Ben, Michael needs you, Hunter needs you, and I even visited Mel’s, and JR asked when she gets to see her Daddy B. Please fight to come out of this.”

“Besides, sweetie, you don’t want to miss your own surprise birthday party.”

“Nice, Em. Now Michael can kill us.”

Oh shit!

“Oh shit!”

My sentiments exactly. What’s this about planning a surprise? Don’t shut up now.

“Well, he probably can’t hear us anyway. Maybe it’ll help – spill.”

“Oh, I shouldn’t.”

Yes, you should.

“Ted, twist my arm.”

“Twist.”

“Okay, well here goes. Brian and Michael have been putting their heads together and going to out of the way places to surprise you and Justin on your mutual birthdays. You see Michael still regrets that disaster of a surprise he gave on your first birthday together – and let me tell you, this isn’t helping him.”

“And Brian still regrets the first birthday surprise he gave Justin when they were living together. That was a real disaster too.”

This is like listening to a ping pong match. I’m just glad neither of them can keep a secret to save their lives…or mine.

“Anywho…the two decided that they’d clear out Babylon for a night dedicated to the theme of Love and Art in the Tibetan Mountains. I, of course, thought up the theme.”

“Can you believe Brian Kinney celebrating love? He couldn’t even say the fucking word until a few years ago and now he wants to demonstrate to Justin that he can say it and declare it in front of every homo in a sixty mile radius.”

“And Michael thought this would be a perfect way to show you how much he loves you by doing more than just your usual intimate dinner for two or family dinner with a few extras.”

“Those two drama queens, although they’ll never admit they are, even hired the best cake designer in the Pitts to come up with some insanely creative pair of cakes – one for each of you representing your personalities and things that are important to you.”

“Only now Michael thinks that somehow you’ve decided to pull a fast one and don’t want to get any older so you’re checking out. Ben, this isn’t fair to Michael or yourself. You’re denying yourself the life and love you were both destined for.”

“I remember Brian telling us at Woody’s just before they put these party plans in motion, that he was shocked that he had actually discovered that he really was just one half of a whole. He even said that without Justin, he would hope for the cancer to return and just take him because he’d be useless to Gus or anyone else without Justin by his side.”

“Then Michael nodded his head. He laughed remembering the forever infatuation he had with his best friend.”

“Fuck it, we all laughed, Em.”

“That’s true. And he said that without you, Ben, he would have remained a child in a grown-up’s body, but with you he always feels like a super-hero.”

“Now that’s one helluva declaration from our little Michael.”

No, it can’t be. I thought he and Brian were making plans. They were going to…but they were in reality planning a…

“Oh my god Teddy, all the machines are buzzing what’s happening?!?!?”

“What the fuck did you two do to him?”

“Blake, why’s he back so soon?”

“I couldn’t keep him away any longer. He barely ate but he sure went for that caffeine in a cup.”

People around my bed. Lots of people pushing me, shoving me, pressing on me.

Beautiful light. I feel welcome, accepted. Is that Vic? No, shit, it’s Paul. I don’t want Paul, I want Michael.

“Ben, don’t leave me!!!”

“Back away from the bed, sir.”

“Michael, move back and let them do their job.”

“Ben!!!”

Michael, I love you, it may be too late.

“Noooooo!!!”

 

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