Can Worlds Unite?

Pic by Sabina with thanks to Gina for the screen grabs

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Brian, you look like shit. Please tell me that the cancer isn’t back.”

“No, Theodore, I actually just came back from the doctor and got the all-clear. No sign of recurrence.”

“That’s great news! So why the long face? Shouldn’t you be out celebrating? I heard you’ve been dancing around that asshole Brandon; he hasn’t been back to Babylon since you banned him, has he?”

“My, my, Theodore, you are the inquisitive one today. Let me see if I can enlighten you. Do you remember our chat the other day about my fucked up upbringing and how it’s affected my current philosophies of life and commitment?”

“Yes, of course I do. How could I forget?”

“Well, let me illustrate this even clearer. After my doctor’s appointment I first stopped at the loft because I automatically went there to share my great news about the cancer with the only person that counted.” Brian looked up at Ted. “No offense intended.”

“None taken.”

“But the place was a fucking morgue. Not a sound, not a soul, not another heartbeat in sight. No brushes, no sketchpads,” and then in a whisper, “No fucking sauce cooking on a god-damned burner. Do you get the picture?”

“Crystal clear. Brian if you’ve changed how you’re feeling, why don’t you just talk to Justin?”

“Who said I’ve changed anything? Besides he probably wouldn’t come near me anyway—who would?” Michael’s words still rested heavily in Brian’s thoughts.

He was cancer-free, commitment free and he was beginning to realize he needed to actually find something to live for.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

That night at Babylon Brian watched the gyrating bodies from a lone spot on the catwalk. He paced back and forth every few minutes and ran his hand through his hair. Finally, getting disgusted with all the thoughts plaguing him, Brian went to the VIP lounge. He got himself a double-shot of Beam and watched the bodies sweating and gyrating to a very different kind of dance.

He smiled as he saw Todd against the front wall. Todd had been over the moon when Brian gave him a carte blanche VIP pass. Very few people had possession of one of those but Todd had certainly earned it over the years.

Turning to leave the VIP lounge and head for his office Brian felt the vibration of the pager he wore as owner of Babylon. When he looked at the brief message it read, “Trouble at door.” His bouncers were the best in Pittsburgh for both gay and straight clubs, so why the fuck would they need him. But duty called so Brian made his way to the entrance.

When he walked outside there was a very pissed off Brandon arguing with the bouncer. He was mouthing off about freedom of assembly, and a variety of other legal bullshit terms, to try and confuse the 225 pound, former boxer and convince him that he should be allowed into Babylon.

“I’ll take over from here. You have real customers to attend to.” With that Brian dragged Brandon out of earshot of the line waiting to enter the ever-popular gay club.

With the thumpa-thumpa diminishing in the background the two adversaries were able to talk.

“What’ll it take?” Brandon began.

“For what, you to grow balls?” Brian smirked.

“You know what I mean. What’ll it take to get me back inside?”

“I’m not sure I want you back inside ever again.”

“Just cause I turned you down, shouldn’t ban me from the club.”

“Let’s get two things straight…first, you aren’t worth the effort, turning me down was your loss, and second, I banned you from the club for going down on someone on the dance floor. That’s why we have a backroom.”

“I’ve seen someone go down on you on the dance floor.”

“Ownership has its privileges.”

“So what’ll it take? Do you want a formal apology in front of everyone?”

“I’m not that dramatic. You clearly don’t know me at all. I prefer a real challenge, just to show you how much I am in touch with all my clientele.”

“What do you propose? I’m up for anything.”

“Well, that’s an interesting choice of words, because you’ll have to be for what I propose.”

Brandon nodded, waiting for Brian to continue. “A contest. Select the 10 hottest guys you can think of and fuck each one. The first one to complete their list wins. But before the contest we check each other’s lists to make sure there’s no cheating. Each trick has to sign an affidavit confirming the fuck took place.”

Brian stared at his perceived adversary for a few moments as Brandon thought about the proposition. “If I win, I get back into Babylon.”

“That’s right, you’re catching on.”

“And if you win…”

“I get your ass in my bed.”

“I guess I can risk that since I’m suddenly feeling very confident.”

“Don’t get too cocky. At least not yet.”

“Why do we have to review each other’s lists?”

“So I can be sure you’re picking the hottest guys and not some desperate queens who would all line up to get fucked by anyone.”

“I’m not that desperate, but maybe you are.”

“I don’t have to worry -- other than narrowing it down to ten guys.”

“It’s a bet.”

The two shook hands but then Brian added, “No Justin Taylor.”

“What, why not? He’s the hottest blond in town, next to me.”

“You can’t hold a candle to him. Never mind the reason, this is a non-negotiable condition. Take it or…leave.”

“Fine, there are plenty of hot guys to choose from. I’ll just have to start with number two for the ten I choose.”

“Don’t you mean three? I won’t be on your list either.” Brandon just shook his head and walked away.

‘What the fuck did I just do?’ Brian thought. ‘Oh well, at least it’ll give me something positive to focus on.’ With that he looked at Babylon and rather than re-enter, got into his Corvette, and drove back to the loft to assemble his list and make it an early night.

When Brian arrived at the loft it was too quiet. It was always too quiet, but it was all for the best. Justin was better without him. Now he could find someone that could give him everything he wanted and needed. Brian thought again about what was stopping him from taking the leap of faith and meeting Justin’s needs. After all, couldn’t this work for both of them? But then he just shook himself out of his reverie, realizing that he wasn’t capable of real love. That was an emotion he was robbed of too long ago and it was irretrievable at this point in his life.

He settled down and wrote his list while watching an old James Dean film. There weren’t many but each one was incredible and helped him focus.

When the film and list were both completed he looked at the list and laughed. All the guys were tall and had dark hair. He didn’t need a doctorate to know how Freudian that was.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

After comparing lists the next morning at the Liberty Diner, with Deb looking on in disgust, the two were off and running…so to speak.

Every fag in Pittsburgh heard of the infamous fuckathon wager, even some of the lesbians in town were in on it. Lindsay even had the chutzpah to tell Brian exactly what she thought of his adolescent behavior.

“At least I’m not running back with my tail between my legs trying to repair a relationship that keeps falling apart.”

“Well, Brian, you may be right…you may be wrong, but at least I’m willing to fight for what I want. You’re just giving in to your own stereotype of yourself. That’s pathetic.”

“But you love my adolescent behavior. It keeps me young.”

“It may keep you young, but it doesn’t earn any respect. And personally, right now, I think you’re a terrible example for your son. You used to stand by your beliefs, now you’re just using them to hide behind.”

With pain in his eyes, he left Lindsay to unpack her belongings in the attic studio in her home. The home that held her former partner just one floor below. At least they could raise their kids together, even if they couldn’t get along.

As he left the munchers’ home, Brian looked at the list in his pocket and back at the attic window above. He shrugged and began his drive to win. Nothing would impede his victory.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

Brian, literally, plowed through his list in less than five days. Nothing would stop him. He won the bet by one trick and Brandon showed up at the loft as scheduled.

He undressed and offered up his ass. Brian, still dressed, went over to his bar to get a shot of Beam. He downed it quickly and then started up the bedroom steps.

Looking at the hot blond, splayed out for his taking, Brian suddenly turned away. Wrong blond. This wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t give a shit whether he ever fucked or was sucked by this asshole. There was only one blond for Brian and he was living in a dreary, run-down walk-up on the other side of Pittsburgh.

His blond was at Babylon or Woody’s from time to time, but never went to the backroom, the VIP room or even a bathroom, with a trick.

His blond would dance, drink, laugh and then leave…alone. His blond was worth a thousand, no a million times more than this jerk.

“Get out.”

“What, what about the bet?”

“You can go back into Babylon.”

“No questions asked?”

“No questions asked. Just don’t let me ever catch you fucking or sucking outside the backroom again.”

“What about the VIP Lounge?”

“You can see it in your dreams. Now get the fuck out before I change my mind.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

The next day at Kinnetik, Ted walked into Brian’s office unannounced and, for once, holding no papers to sign.

“I saw Brandon last night.”

“You’re very observant, Theodore.”

“Thank you, but I wasn’t bucking for a compliment. What happened? I know for a fact that he was one short on the bet.”

“You have been paying attention.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“There are much better asses out there. I didn’t want to waste my valuable time and energy on his sorry ass.”

“But you let him back in.”

“He wasn’t worth it. If he wants to delude himself into thinking he’s the new IT boy, let him.”

“Brian…”

“Yes, Theodore?”

“It’s good to have you back all grown up.”

“Thank you.”

As Ted was leaving the office Cynthia buzzed in, asking Brian if he had a minute to see an old friend.

“Who the fuck is it? Michael and I have nothing to talk about.”

“It’s not Michael. It’s Justin.”

“Send him in.”

Brian stood up and walked around to the front of his desk. Leaning on it, he tried to imagine what would bring Justin to see him. It was abundantly clear that unless Brian was willing to make some clear and purposeful decisions about the direction of his life…their life together, they had nothing to talk about.

Justin walked in the office wearing a poker-face. Brian had no idea what the purpose of this visit could be, but it was obvious that it wasn’t Justin crawling back for some quality sex. Brian smirked at the thought. Justin could have anyone he wanted, young or old, he didn’t need Brian.

“What brings you here on this not-so-bright and shiny day? I have to admit that you’re the last person I expected to see today.”

“I’m not sure if that’s your back-handed way of saying you’re glad I stopped by, but I assume you’re not irritated by my presence.”

“Not in the least. What can I do for you?” Brian walked slowly over to the sofa and started flipping through some of the magazines that held ads created by Kinnetik.

“I’m actually here for three reasons.”

“Would you like to blurt them all out at once or shall we address one at a time?”

Justin smirked at Brian’s attempts to be unaffected. It definitely pleased him to know that he could still keep Brian guessing and interested.

“The first is that I wanted to give this to you in person.” Justin sat at the opposite end of the sofa and handed Brian an envelope. “Lindsay wanted to send it to you in the mail, but it was important that you know I really want you there.”

“What is it—a subpoena?”

“You can think of it as that, or you can take a closer look and see that it’s a personal invitation to a show at the Sidney Bloom Gallery. Two of my pieces will be featured.”

“That’s quite an achievement for our little Sunshine. You really have become the next Andy Warhol.”

Justin laughed softly and added, “Both pieces were significantly influenced by you and I want you to see them.”

“If one of them is a painting of a noose, I’m not going,” Brian snarked.

“Hardly, if you’ll look at the brochure, all the artwork will be abstracts. I can assure you that a noose is not involved in either of the paintings or in the thoughts that led to their production, and there is no way that I painted your face on a can of soup.”

“That’s a comfort. If you want me to attend I’m sure I can find the time.”

“If Babylon isn’t calling too loud.” Justin couldn’t help the cutting tone of his voice.

“Touché! I will definitely be there and thank you for personally inviting me.” The corners of Brian’s mouth turned up slightly. “So what’s next on your agenda?”

Justin stood up and walked towards the conference room table, turning away from Brian, “I heard about the bet.”

“Fuck, if you’re gay and live in Pittsburgh you heard about the bet. What about it?”

“Besides the fact that it was ridiculous I did hear one thing that not everyone knows.”

“And that would be?”

“I heard that you wouldn’t let my name be included on either list.” Justin turned to look directly at Brian, “Is that true?”

Brian curled his lips slightly inward as he simply nodded his head.

“Why?”

“Are you insulted?”

“No, of course not. I want to know why.”

“You’re above it.”

Justin approached Brian slowly as his face softened and leaned down to give Brian a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. Maybe you really are growing up.”

Brian laughed, “You’re the second person today that’s said that to me. It could be true.”

“We’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Speaking of waiting, you’ve had a lot of people at Babylon and Woody’s guessing.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You dance, you drink, you always flirt,” that got a laugh from Justin, “But no one ever sees you go home with a trick. Do you have a new beau in your illustrious accommodations?”

“That’s a laugh. Brian, I paint. That’s all I do in my illustrious accommodations. I don’t have the time or interest in tricking.”

“You, you must be close to exploding.”

“Oh, I definitely take care of myself…so to speak,” Justin smirked, “I just don’t want to trick right now.”

“Are you turning straight?”

“After you it might be easier.” Brian snorted. “I guess I just want more and I haven’t found it yet and I’m not in a rush. My art keeps me busy.”

“Are you happy?”

“I try to be. What about you?”

“Let’s say that I’m keeping busy with Kinnetik.” Justin nodded, understanding the sentiment all too well.

The two sat, once again, at opposites ends of the sofa and just looked at each other silently for a moment.

“You said you had three things to talk to me about. What’s number three? I thought you might need a job, but from the looks of this show, you don’t need me or Kinnetik.”

Justin looked at Brian and moved closer to him. He touched his cheek gently with his hand. “You have no idea.” He stared briefly into Brian’s eyes but before Justin said anything that neither one could cope with Justin continued, “Michael needs you.”

“What?” That certainly changed the mood significantly. “As a punching bag for round two?”

“You know that you and he always have, and always will be best friends.”

“Only half true, Sunshine, always have. He slammed the door on the second half.”

“Because he helped me! That’s bullshit Brian.” Justin stood up and started to slowly pace. Brian stood as well and approached him.

“Justin, that was just a catalyst. You’re a smart man; you know that Michael and I have been growing apart for years now. We want different things, we have different beliefs. Fuck, we have entirely different philosophies of life. There’s no turning back.” As Brian spoke he began to realize that this was the same barrier that had sabotaged his journey with Justin. He immediately quieted and tilted his head slightly downward.

“Everyone wants different things, Brian, but there is such a thing as compromise. Accepting and celebrating people’s differences. When the fuck did you get so narrow-minded?”

“When Michael became totally single minded.”

“Both of you are behaving like children, and it’s obvious neither of you is happy with the status quo.”

“Big words from the boy genius.” Brian snarked.

“Well here’s a phrase that anyone can understand, both of you should get your heads out of your asses and finish growing up. You’ll both destroy any chance of enjoying life because neither one of you wants to move an inch.”

With that Justin hastily moved towards the door. He took the handle and before opening it he turned one last time to Brian, “The invitation still holds. I hope by then you’ve thought about what I said. Oh, and so you don’t think you’re being blindsided, Michael and Ben plan to be there.”

Justin paused, looked directly into Brian’s eyes, “It’s your choice where you want to be, Brian.”

Justin hoped that his words hit a nerve, but since he immediately left the office he wasn’t sure.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

“Why the fuck did you do that?” Michael yelled as he looked at Justin from behind the counter at Red Cape Comics.

“Why the fuck did I try to repair a friendship that’s lasted nearly 20 years? Let me think…maybe because you’re both miserable without each other in your lives. Despite the bizarre evolution of your relationship, the two of you need each other and you’re both stubborn asses.”

“Well now, as my dear mother would say, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.”

“Look, Michael, I admit that I still love Brian. Shit, I probably always will. But I want more than a live-in fuck-buddy relationship.”

“He wants more, too, he just isn’t ready to admit it.”

“I know, but the truth is that due to whatever damaged him throughout his life, I’m afraid he may never be able to admit how he really feels. I can’t wait forever, although I probably will.” The last words were uttered barely above a whisper.

“I hear you’re not tricking.”

“Where would you hear bullshit like that?” Justin turned away from Michael and blindly thumbed through the first comic he grabbed off a rack.

Michael smiled knowingly, “From our very own personal busy-body, Emmett.”

“Well you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”

“So tell me differently.”

“Fuck you.”

“It’s not me you’re waiting for.”

Justin snorted and then nodded his head ever-so-slightly. Michael noticed and decided not to pursue the subject any further. It took him a long time to realize just how devoted Justin was…is to Brian. Too bad the asshole didn’t appreciate a good thing when it was spread out before him…so to speak. He smiled at the thought and was brought out of his reverie by Justin.

“Go talk to him. You don’t have to apologize, neither does he. But one of you has to make the first move.”

“Why can’t he come to me for once?”

“How old are you, five? Oh, and by the way, we’re talking about Brian Kinney here. Do you need a refresher in your Kinney Operating Manual?” Justin smirked.

“Okay, I’ll call him and see if he wants to meet for lunch at the diner. Do you want to join us?”

“Michael, let’s work on what’s repairable first. Besides I need to meet with Lindsay at the gallery.”

“See you later.”

Justin left the comic store and walked all the way to the Sidney Bloom Gallery. It was a long walk but he needed time to think. Why wasn’t he tricking? It’s not that he was opposed to it. If anything it might take his mind off Brian for a while. But that was the problem. Whenever he began to come on to a trick he noticed that they had some feature that was so similar to Brian’s it was creepy. It could be eye color, or hair color, or height, or skin tone, or even the way they danced.

Everything was comparable to Brian and that destroyed any hope of enjoying the trick. At least he got attention and was able to dance away night after night. Most of the time, he hauled himself up to his little apartment and just collapsed anyway.

It was better this way. There was no drama, there was no anxiety, there was no life, there was no Brian. Time would have to work its charm and eventually he’d get over Brian.

Then Justin laughed to himself, ‘maybe by the time hell freezes over or I’m too old and gray to care.’

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

Brian was surprised to hear from Michael and was pleased (although he’d never admit it) that they were going to meet for lunch.

While he thought Michael would apologize, he realized that was almost as unlikely as him apologizing to Michael. Each had said harsh words to the other, but in some ridiculous way, those words were significant.

Maybe Justin did want some of the things Michael had, but Michael hadn’t brainwashed him. Justin’s too smart for that anyway. Justin would simply decide what does and doesn’t work for him. Fuck, Justin really is a little genius…in more than one way.

On the other hand, Michael should have arranged for Justin to stay with Deb and Carl, although their house was quite full. Maybe staying with the Stepford fags was the best and safest temporary dwelling after all. It struck Brian that Michael and Ben were both still hurting from Hunter’s abrupt departure. Maybe Justin filled a little of that void and gave them something or someone else to dote on.

When Brian entered the diner Michael was already at the booth in the back corner. Brian walked over and joined him, trying not to smile. Michael, on the other hand, got up as he saw Brian approach. He stood by the booth, clearly anxious about how they would begin their first meeting since their big blowout.

“Hi, Mikey.” Hearing that, Michael knew that all would be well. He leaned over and gave Brian a tentative hug and when Brian very gently returned the hug the world seemed to begin to fall back into place.

“Hey.”

“So, Michael, any new pink plate specials worth exploring? I haven’t been here in a couple of weeks.”

“I noticed. No new specials, just the same old same old.”

“Sometimes that’s better.”

“Sometimes it’s better if they keep the same old in reserve and remember that new stuff can be exciting and worth a try.”

“It might not always work and then you’re left at square one.”

“But at least you made every effort to give it your best shot.” Brian nodded. When had Michael started sounding like Ben? I guess that’s what happens when two people live together the way they do.

“So how are you and the professor doing?”

Michael smiled, recognizing that Brian was trying to change the direction of the conversation. He let him off the hook since this was supposed to be their time to reunite. “We’re okay. It was rough going for a while after Hunter took off, but we’re finally learning to cope with his absence and move on.”

“Have you heard from the…him at all?” Brian caught himself. This was not the time to use the phrase ‘the littlest hustler’ since for all they knew that was exactly what he was doing.

“Yeah, he actually got on some free computer and e-mailed us. He told us he was okay and doing legitimate work. He mentioned something about following a childhood dream, but I’m not sure what he meant. Anyway, we’re just glad he’s okay.”

“How often do you hear from him?”

“He contacts us every other night at the same time, so we make sure we’re near the computer and can write back immediately. You know, Hunter’s leaving – it almost broke us up. Ben was swallowed up with grief and I wanted to move on as fast as possible. We weren’t in the same place at the same time and it was all bad.”

“I think I can understand what that’s like.”

Michael looked directly at Brian, “I’m sure you can.”

Kiki came over and took their orders. Michael ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a Pepsi and then Brian ordered the same.

Michael smirked, “I see you’re taking a walk on the wild side today.”

“Let’s just say that I’m trying to leave ‘same old, same old’ behind.”

“Excellent choice…my friend,” Michael looked tentatively into Brian’s eyes.

Brian smiled and said, “I do believe it is.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

Over the next two weeks Michael and Brian slowly rebuilt their friendship. It was obvious that they were still close but there was a marked difference in the quality of their relationship.

While the two joked and teased, as always, mutual respect was incorporated. Brian rarely joked about Michael living the life of a Stepford Fag and Michael restrained from reminding Brian that he was an aging club boy and should try to reshape his life. It was a tough call for the two friends who had clearly taken alternate roads to maturity.

On occasion when Brian stopped at Red Cape Comics, he would find Justin there working with Michael on Rage. While the movie had gone by the wayside and was becoming a distant, yet sour, memory, the comic was increasing readership with each issue. It seemed that the gay teens and young men in the world were thrilled to see themselves portrayed boldly and without apology.

In fact, Michael had noticed that Brian was dropping by the store more and more frequently. Justin and Brian were always cordial but it was clear to anyone in their presence that both of them were stubbornly uncompromising in their realization that they each wanted a different future.

On one such visit from Brian, Michael smiled as he saw him glancing beyond the main store to the employee’s area in the back. He nearly laughed out loud at the childish behavior that his friend was demonstrating. “He’s not here.”

“Who’s not here? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Justin, he’s not here.”

“So…”

“So…every time you visit ME here, you check to see if Justin is around. Most of the time you’ve been lucky, but we just put an issue of Rage to bed so we don’t need to meet for at least another week.”

“What makes you think I give a shit about Justin being here? I just don’t want to say anything that might get you closed down if the building inspector happens to be snooping around.”

“Brian, that’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. Why don’t you face your own fucking feelings head on for once?” Michael suddenly turned more serious. As there were no customers in the shop he locked the door and placed the ‘Out to Lunch’ sign in the window.

“Michael, what the fuck are you talking about? Remember, I thought we were trying to respect each other.”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing. Are you happy without him? I see you at Babylon. I was wrong when I accused you once of not changing. You have changed, but you’re being too pig-headed to face the future you clearly want.”

“When did you become Dr. Phil?”

“Fuck you.”

“You wish.”

“No, not any more.”

Brian looked at Michael, pulled his lips in and turned away. “So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Should I get down on my knees and beg him to come back, or at least offer to suck him off if he says, ‘no’?”

“How about trying honesty?”

“Justin wants what you and Ben have. I’m just not sure that’s what I want.”

“Have you asked Justin what he really wants, or did you just assume? You know what assuming makes you…” They both laughed at the old joke.

“I could ask him, but he’s busy with the art show right now. It opens tomorrow night.”

“What better time?”

“I just don’t know.”

“Maybe you can take tonight, skip Babylon and Woody’s, and think about what you really want. There’s no law that says that the guy who owns Babylon has to be the guy who has the most frequent flyer miles for fucking there.”

“That’s very good, Mikey. Hanging around the professor has certainly done wonders for your vocabulary.”

“Yeah, well, that’s one of the benefits of actually talking to each other.” Michael deadpanned. Then he looked at Brian. “You should try it some time. Your boy genius has a lot to offer.”

“He’s not mine.”

“Yet.”

“Michael…and since when have you become his cheerleader?”

“Since I got to know him, and listened to him.”

Brian nodded and then started thumbing through a new Spiderman comic. “Are you sure this guy isn’t gay?”

“The comic hero, or the movie star that plays him?” Michael smirked.

“Good one, Mikey, you really are catching on to everything.”

“I guess I am. Now it’s your turn.”

Brian laughed, “See you tomorrow at the gallery.”

Michael followed Brian to the door, unlocked it and turned the sign back to ‘Open’. After Brian was out of earshot, Michael took a little figurine of Cupid in drag off the shelf and whispered, “Bull’s-eye.” Then he sat behind the counter and picked up the Spiderman that Brian had left behind and started reading. “Oh, Toby, you would have made a great Zephyr on the screen.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 

By the time Brian entered the Sidney Bloom Gallery there were over a hundred people milling about; drinking wine, eating cheese pastries shaped like abstract sculptures (thanks to Emmett’s catering flare), and viewing all the different pieces throughout.

Brian grabbed a glass of wine from a passing waiter and downed it one gulp, returning the glass to the tray. He needed just a little sustenance to face the evening he had planned.

Spotting Michael, Ben, Debbie, Carl, Jennifer and Tucker, Brian sauntered over to make small talk and let the wine sink in and take effect. “Hello, oh great supporters of the arts.”

“Who gives a shit about the arts? I just want to make sure that if they’re taking a count of how many people came to see Justin’s stuff that he’ll win.”

“Ah Deb, you truly are an elitist, aren’t you?”

“No, you know I’m Italian.”

“Yes, of course, my mistake.” Brian smirked.

“Ma, this isn’t a meat market. The only thing they care about here is whether a critic decides to write about any of the works of art or if anyone buys any of it.”

“No, shit. Well you learn something new every day.”

Jennifer just smiled behind her wine glass and Tucker pretended to go off and view some more paintings.

Jennifer pulled Brian aside gently. “I’m sure Justin will be thrilled that you came.”

Brian thought about saying, ‘Justin’s always thrilled when I come,’ but decided that would not be the way to get this evening focused in the correct direction to serve his purposes. “Let’s just say that I’m not here for all the fine art. I believe there’s just two pieces that will capture my interest.”

“I believe the ones you’re speaking of are right over there.” Jennifer pointed across the room. “In fact I think the artist is with his work so you can get a complete explanation of the content.”

“I believe you’re right. See you later.”

“Brian,” Brian turned to face Jennifer, “Good luck…and don’t fuck this up.”

“I love it when you channel our illustrious PFLAG president.” Jennifer just laughed politely and took another sip of wine as she made her way towards Tucker and some of the sculptures.

Brian looked at Justin gesturing animatedly as he spoke with either a reporter or a critic, who was nodding and taking notes during the chat. When the critic moved on, Brian approached. “Why hello, Sunshine, fancy meeting you here.”

“I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for coming. Well, what do you think?”

“Does it matter?”

“No, not entirely. The truth is that you’re probably the only one that truly understands my art. There’s the other piece. It’s much smaller.”

Brian gazed at the grand work first. There seemed to be endless highways, filled with darkness. The smaller piece was almost Dali-like and frightening. Not so much because of the image, but the message is sent, coupled with that of the large work.

The smaller painting was of a dresser drawer, pulled more than half-way out. The front of the drawer morphed into the shape of the spout of a pitcher with clothing pouring out into a black duffle bag that lay on the floor beneath. The duffle bag sported the image of a green apple with a bite taken out of it and a worm crawling out from its core.

Brian was mesmerized by the frightening work and the message was received loud and clear. Now Brian knew what he had to do and when he had to do it.

“How long do you have to stay here?”

“I’ve met everyone who I was supposed to. That last pretentious asshole was the final critic I was instructed by Lindsay to speak to. Why?”

“Let’s go.”

“What, you’re done with the show? Have you seen the rest?”

“Sunshine, I’ve seen more than enough. By the way, there’s no fucking way I’m leaving without buying this painting. I need it.”

“Brian, you don’t have to do this.”

“Oh yes I do, Justin, I definitely do.”

After Brian instructed Lindsay to place a sold dot next to the smaller of Justin’s works, he handed her his charge card, filled out any necessary paperwork, and then grabbed Justin and left.

“Brian, I have to say good-bye to everyone who came here to see my stuff.”

“Trust me, Justin, they’ll all understand. If they don’t, fuck ‘em all.” With that Brian and Justin left in the Corvette.

“So where are we heading? Woody’s, Babylon, the loft?”

“Not quite, just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

After about 20 minutes of highway driving, Brian exited for a beautiful West Virginia town. “Did you find a gay bar in West Virginia?”

“No, if I want to drink I can do that in Pittsburgh. Patience.” Justin continued to look out the window, glancing at Brian every couple of minutes.

After another 15 minutes they pulled up to a huge Tudor style mansion that rested on beautiful, picturesque grounds…at least what Justin could see of them in the moonlight.

“Who the fuck lives here?”

“That’s up to you; let’s go inside. It’s fucking cold out here.”

Justin noted that Brian had the key to the special real estate lock that was placed on the door for showings by a variety of agents.

As they entered the front foyer, Brian turned on the light. The house was exquisite. It was truly a work of art in-and-of-itself. The two wandered into what must be the front living room or parlor. It had an ornate mahogany fireplace and a number of pieces of furniture covered by protective sheets.

“Brian?” Justin questioned with caution in his voice.

Suddenly Brian’s face grew slightly flush and he seemed to have lost all power of speech.

“Brian, are you okay? What’s going on here?” Justin slowly approached Brian as if he got too close he would get burned.

Finally Brian found his voice. “Justin, I had a whole plan of attack ready to go.”

“Attack?” Now Justin’s curiosity was peaking.

“A campaign, a sale’s pitch. I wanted you to know that I was going to buy this entire estate for you if you would become the prince in my palace.”

“Brian, that’s quite the sale’s pitch. But, why?” Justin smirked. He certainly understood what Brian was saying, but he needed Brian to share his feelings. This was one time that nonverbal communication was NOT an option.

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Brian looked a bit pathetic but Justin wasn’t budging. He stood silently in front of Brian, less than an arm’s distance away, but not touching.

“Okay, here goes, but don’t blame me if I fuck up. I’m new at this.”

“Duly noted, go on.”

“When you left the last time.”

“The last time?” Justin looked confused.

“Well, you have to admit that you’ve come and gone more than once.”

Justin looked away and then slowly turned back, “Only once to leave you without full cooperation from both of us. And just so the record is clear, there has never been violin music in my life since then…and there never will be.”

“That’s good to know. A couple of months ago, when you left we danced around what each of us wanted. To be honest, I really didn’t know what I wanted or how to make what you might want fit with my life. Recently, with the help of some people who have become wiser as they’ve aged, I started to realize that neither one of us ever truly expressed how we want our futures to unfold.”

Justin walked to the fireplace and ran his hand gently over the polished mahogany. “You’re right.”

“I thought it was about time that we actually filled each other in on our goals. And I’m not talking about career goals.”

“I figured.” Justin smirked.

“Why don’t you go first? I’m feeling a bit talked out for the moment.”

“Okay, Brian.” Justin paced back and forth and then stopped and turned directly towards Brian. “I would like to have a commitment from the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Brian raised his eyebrows and Justin laughed. “But the commitment can take shape in a way that works for us. I don’t want to be like Melanie and Lindsay or Michael and Ben. I like going out and flirting and drinking and sometimes teasing. It’s fun and it’s alluring and it makes sex with my partner that much hotter knowing that both of us are desirable to so many others.”

To illustrate, Justin walked directly to Brian. “In fact, I’m thinking about all the guys who touched me while I danced with them at Babylon last night and it’s definitely getting the right effect.” Then Justin placed both hands behind Brian’s head and drew him down for a toe-curling kiss.

After a brief pause to catch his breath and recover from his surprise, Brian smiled a full smile, “I see your point. What about tricking?”

“I think this is the part where you tell me what you really want.”

Brian ran his hand through his hair and put his hands on Justin’s shoulders. “I always liked tricking.”

“Liked?”

“You’re a good listener, Sunshine. Yes, liked. It satisfied a need, a craving. But I’ve noticed that this need has changed. I no longer want to search blindly for the next conquest or remain at the top of the Liberty Avenue…hell let’s face it, the Pittsburgh mountain, when it comes to fucking and sucking. I can honestly say that boredom has come into play more than once, which was a complete shock.”

“I would imagine so.” Justin laughed.

Brian snorted in response. “I guess what I’m saying is that a long time ago you said that we had a commitment and you were going to stand by it. I want to make that mutual AND permanent, maybe even formalize it. I want to have one life partner, but only if that one partner is you.”

“There’s one more thing that I want.”

Brian looked at Justin anxiously. Justin continued, “I want to have a safe haven from our friends and family. A place that’s all our own and that no one else has a key for, except maybe my mother in case of emergency. Oh, and I wouldn’t be opposed to a ring or some token of our commitment, but only if you’re willing…but no ceremony. I definitely don’t want a marriage, especially one that isn’t even legal.”

“I like how you think.”

Brian spread his arms out, “So, what do you think? I know it’s big, but it can be the safe haven of our dreams. And unless you’ve decided to fuck with your allergies and start riding horses, I thought we could turn the stables into a kick-ass studio.”

“Stables, horses – no fucking way! Let’s work on that studio concept.” Justin and Brian looked at each other. “Brian, are we really doing this? Are you ready, willing and able to make a commitment on these terms? I want this more than you can possibly know, but only if you want this, too…willingly.”

“Justin, I can honestly say that I have never wanted anything more in my life. Justin, there is one more thing I have to tell you.”

Now it was Justin’s turn to look anxious. “I realize that when we first met I made it abundantly clear how I felt about the word love.”

Justin turned away and stared at the fireplace, seeing his dreams rapidly fading.

“Look at me.” Brian approached Justin and turned him around so that they were face to face. When he turned, Justin’s eyes were moist. “Back then the word love was just a four-letter word. But now it’s a different story.”

“It is,” Justin looked at Brian coyly.

“Yes it is. I may never say this in public, I may not say this often, but I will say this when it counts. Justin Taylor, I love you. There is no one else I could ever imagine sharing this indescribable feeling with other than you. I love you and I now know what it means to love.”

“Oh god, Brian.” Justin pulled Brian with all his might and started kissing him wherever he could reach, ending with his lips.

“Oh god, Brian…is that a title?” Brian laughed as he pulled back from his suddenly aggressive partner.

“Oh god, Brian, I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with you and I love you so much.”

“Well, I do believe we’re committed partners. Any objections? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

“Hold my peace. I know one piece I want to hold right now.” Justin smiled his broadest grin. “We are partners. I consider us signed, sealed and delivered.”

“The signing and sealing will come later, but we are delivered.” With that the passion that had been lacking from both Brian and Justin’s lives for more than two months took hold and the two collapsed gently to the floor as Brian and Justin made love. Their connection was deeper than ever before on so many levels.

After they made love repeatedly the two lay close together on the floor of what would soon be their new home. “Brian…”

“Hmmm”

“How did you find out about this place?”

“From your mother.”

“Will she make money off this deal?”

“A shit-load. She’ll be able to continue being a Sugar-Mommy, toying with her boy-toy for as long as she wants.”

“Asshole,” Justin shoved Brian half-heartedly and then returned his head to rest on Brian’s chest. “Did you figure out what those paintings meant?”

“Justin, I’d have to have been unconscious not to understand. I’m just glad that both of us were ready for this.”

“Finally,” Justin added smirking.

“Yes, finally.”

“Why did you buy it? That painting represents the lowest feelings I’ve had in ages.”

“Because I want to always remember that we’ll be sharing our drawers for the rest of our lives and that feeling will never return again.”

“You know Brian, for a while I felt world’s apart from you.”

“And now,” Brian raised himself on one elbow and looked into Justin’s eyes.

“Now we’re as close as two people can be, physically and emotionally.”

“You really are a genius, Sunshine.”

“And you’re brilliant enough to recognize the value of having a genius around 24/7.”

“Okay, genius, let’s get up and buy this house. I think we’ve tested its durability enough. It will certainly stand the test of time.”

“And us.”

[The End…and the Beginning]
 

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