The Gardener
The girls wanted a garden they have a garden but they wanted a small
patch of earth cleared so they can plant flowers and
vegetables. So what the hell
does it have to do with us?
It’s their backyard, why can’t they do
it? I argue with Justin he argues
back; I know not in Mel’s ‘delicate’
condition. Shit, so how did I
get involved? Lindsey wanted
Justin’s opinion not mine so why am I standing here covered in dirt
with a pitch fork in one hand and a shovel in the
other. Fuck, I hate this
shit.
Justin looks pretty hot.
He’s wearing shorts and an old faded t-shirt, I make him wear
a hat to protect him. It’s
still early spring but the sun is hot
today. Did I mention he looks
hot. I
lick my lips and stare a little. He
grins but its back to being farmer Brown.
Fuck.
He promised the girls so what happens; the first day we mark out the
area he trips on a root, falls and cuts his leg on a
stone. I clean
him up make him sit, Lindsey bandages him up and
then I tell him to point, tell me the area he wants
cleared. He says he wants to
help but the cut is pretty deep so I tell him just to
supervise. So he sits and directs
the work. I must admit by the
end of the afternoon the little patch of ground is clear, neat, no stones
or roots to impede planting. His
leg hurts a little so I help him to the car; we’ll be back in the morning.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ok so I’m up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday; well not the crack
of dawn but I’m standing in the mud in the munchers’
backyard. Shit it rained last
night so my nice little patch of ground is mud and I’m standing in
it.
Before planting Lindsey wants a little fence so now I’m standing
with a hammer, fence posts and whatever else it takes to put up a
fence. Justin’s leg is better
so he’s measuring, staking out where the posts are to be pounded into
the ground. Thank god it’s
a small pre-fab type fence so no concrete or nails
needed.
Oh shit, clumsy twat he hit his thumb with the hammer, the little
shit. Got to get some ice for
it; at least the sun’s out, so I make him sit and point and tell me
where the posts go and I put up the fence.
Now the ground looks like crap so I have to rake it; got some fertilizer
and better top soil for the vegetable
patch. Great just what I need,
I stink, I smell like horse shit.
If he girls laugh at me I swear I’ll throw the stuff in the kitchen
and let them deal with the smell.
Okay the first batch of flowers go
in. Spring flowers already forced
to bloom not just bulbs and the long wait till next
year. Fuck, now the artists are
‘discussing’ color schemes, where should the plants go, what colors
go together, the bigger ones in the
back. I
can’t wait so while the two argue it out I
plant. I do have an eye for color
and how things should go I didn’t spend all those years as an ad man
wasting my time.
By the time they’re finished with their discussion I’m
done. I’ve put away the
tools and washed the mud off my hands.
I still stink and I need a long hot
shower. Well
well, they’ve noticed, it got quiet and I’m
in the house sipping a cold one.
The two artists stand there looking a little stunned nodding their
pretty blond heads; they like it.
Shit like I had any doubts.
I’m tired its time to go
home. Next
week the vegetables.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Another Saturday morning and I’m covered in dirt
again. The sun is real warm
I’ve been getting a tan.
Justin got a little burnt last week so I made put on an old shirt
of mine with long sleeves it was either that or
sunscreen. He didn’t want
to feel greasy so he chose the shirt.
So now we’re huddled at the veg end
of the patch and the blonds are discussing what seeds go where so I
wait. What the
hell? Shit he’s stumbled
into a hornet’s nest. Shit
oh my god he’s stung. Not
too bad he swiped at away before the stinger worked its way in too
deep. I have to watch him though
he’s so allergic to all kinds of
shit. So we always carry medicine
for him. So we get the chair
give him his medicine. It makes
him a little drowsy so I put him in the shade and let him
sleep.
Lindsey tells me where she’d like the veggies to go so here I
am again farmer Brown planting lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and a small row
of corn. Who’s going to
eat all of that? I don’t
care. Mel comes out to see the
progress; humph I even impressed her but she swears its all Justin and
Lindsey. Yeah, yeah,
shit. She starts to complain
how are we going to know what was
planted. Does she really think
I’m an idiot or not thorough?
I went to the garden center and picked up those little signs you can
write on. Justin did some very
nice calligraphy so now I place the signs in each row and stick my tongue
out at her. She grumbles and
goes back in to the house.
All done I water in the plants and
seeds. Maybe I’ll come back
tomorrow. There are a few more
plants I want to put in; some that’ll bloom in the summer and through
into the fall. Oh and marigolds,
yeah they stink but it helps keeps the squirrels away from the other plants
and they’re pretty. Fuck
did I say pretty? God what am
I doing?
Justin’s awake; the swelling on his arm has gone
down. We’ll be back
tomorrow.
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Sunday morning and the little twat’s
still asleep. He worked the late
shift at the diner, oh well let him
sleep. The coffee will be on
for him when he wakes up.
I’ll leave a note. Got
to get to the garden center early they’re having a sale on annuals and
perennials; got to get there before the blue haired biddies rummage through
and get the good stuff.
I get to the girls’, explain about
Justin. Gus comes out and tries
to help. He’s developing
an eye for color and symmetry; must be his mom and
Justin.
By lunchtime we’re done.
The marigolds look nice so do the
impatiens. The daisies and
coneflowers will bloom through the summer so they’ll be lots of color
and the hostas will fill in the gaps.
I brought extra clothes with me so us gardeners take a shower together
and put on fresh clothes. The
moms are impressed.
Justin called he was sorry he couldn’t
help, just as well the marigolds would have made
him sneeze. He can help me weed
next week.
This wasn’t so bad; maybe one day Justin and I will have a
garden.
Fuck! What am I
thinking?
Sabina