Come in Out of the Pain

In a loft somewhere on Tremont a tall, lanky, handsome man waits. He paces across the dimly lit empty loft, muttering curses.

The night air is damp from the recent rain. A chill forces him to reach for a shirt, anything to stave off the cold. He puts on the first thing he finds, a gray hoodie. He pushes up the sleeves that are too short for him. He inhales the scent of the fabric but it offers him little comfort.

He continues to pace, chain smoking, waiting.

He jumps at the sound of a car backfire, at least he hopes it's a backfire. He spies the time, four hours gone.

He tries to work, turning on his computer in the corner but nothing comes to him. He pretends to read his email but it's all a blur. He shuts it down.

He lights another cigarette forgetting about the half smoked smouldering one in the overflowing ashtray.

Beam, beer, anything to take away the chill, take away the pain, it doesn't work.

Pacing, cursing, cleaning. Nothing left to clean. He picks up a sock laying in a corner, puts it in the hamper.

Pacing, smoking, waiting; the news. He turns on the radio, "the victims of tonight's shooting were taken to Allegany General, the names of the victims are being withheld pending notification of their families." He turns off the radio.

He's cold but sweating now. More pacing, another cigarette.

He picks up the phone but who will he call? He puts it down.

"FUCKING LITTLE TWAT!" He shouts at the walls then hugs himself tight into the hoodie. A tear slips down his face.

The elevator.

The elevator?

Oh god, stairs, he always takes the stairs.

Fuck, the elevator.

No god no.

It stops at his floor. He stares at the loft door, walking towards it, hating the door, hating who's on the other side.

He opens the door.

"Hey Brian, I'm so glad you opened the door. Can you help me with this stuff; I bought dinner, I know it's late but I was hungry and I hate to eat alone and...Brian, Brian? Earth to Brian, are you in there?"

He's breathing now, it's okay. He unconsciously helps his lover carry the bags into the loft, over to the counter. He hears his partner babble on but he can't seem to speak, he can only stare and thank whatever god was listening to him tonight.

"Earth to Brian."

"Huh? Sorry, I'll get the plates. We don't have any more water."

"No problem, I got some."

"That's nice."

"Brian are you okay?"

"I am now."

"Bri, what are you wearing?"

"I was cold, this was the first thing I found."

"Don't you think it's a little small for you?"

"No, it fits me fine Sunshine."

They bring the food to the bedroom, still no table and chairs. They lay an old blanket on the bed, covering the duvet, just in case.

"Brian are you sure you're okay?"

"Yup, let's eat before it gets cold."

When done they get rid of the trash, straightening up the bed then the kitchen.

The older man grabs the younger one, holding him tightly into his chest, kissing the closely cropped head.

I can breathe again, for now I can breathe.

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