I Made This

*A very tongue in cheek X-File story*

<this week's episode opens with the Rat and the Bear relaxing in their living room>

"Krycek!"

"Skinner."

"Has your needle gotten stuck in a groove? You've been whistling that tune for hours now and it's driving me nuts."

"Whistling? Me? I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was whistling. I didn't even know I could whistle. And why, all of a sudden are you calling me Krycek?"

"Ya know something, Krycek, I have no idea. Maybe it's the same reason you've decided to regale me with your theme song."

"Theme song?"

"Yes, the tune you're whistling reminds me of a theme song for a TV show but I'll be damned if I can remember what show it's from."

"Skinner, this conversation is bordering on the absurd. Reminds me of some of the ridiculous conversations I had with a certain Fox."

"As long as you don't start calling me Mulder, we'll be fine."

"If I called you Mulder, then you'd have to call me Scully. I don't have red hair."

"And you're way too tall."

"Okay, this is getting fucking weird."

"No more weirder than you growing a new arm."

"Skinner..."

"Yeah, yeah, we're two old war horses out to pasture, no use dredging up the past. But the simple fact that the two of us are here, alive and living on my farm together..."

"Not to mention the hot monkey sex we have every night."

"And in the mornings."

"And sometimes at lunch..."

"That in itself can be considered an X-File."

"Maybe we are living an X-File. I can't seem to get this fucking theme song out of my head."

"And I have this overwhelming strong urge to go outside and check out the sky."

"UFO's?"

"Something like that. And I think we've gone beyond ridiculous."

"Okay, then why don't we go back to being Walter and Alex. Walter, what plans did you have for today before I went off the deep end and started whistling?"

"I had plans to work on a china hutch. I received an order via my website."

"Okay, so how about I help. Let's go to your workshop."

"Do you have any idea how to work with wood?"

"I have lots of ideas regarding wood."

"Krycek."

"Skinner. Oh, not the wood you had in mind? Pardon me."

*****

"Krycek, you're doing it again."

"Doing what again, Skinner?"

"Whistling that theme song."

"Shit, I had no idea. This is becoming annoying. I'm whistling some damned song and you're...just what are you doing?"

"I'm planing a plank."

"What?"

"I'm planing...oh for pete's sake, I can't work like this. And it's too nice out to be stuck in this shed. Why don't we go out to that dried up river bed?"

"And watch the sky?"

"Something like that."

*****

"Skinner."

"Krycek."

"This is much better than being stuck in a dark shed working with wood."

"I like the way you work with wood. Your hands should be registered as lethal weapons."

"They already are."

"Alex, do you believe?"

"Believe in what?"

"The truth."

"Which truth, Walter? Mulder's truth? Scully's truth. The smoker's truth? The people's truth?"

"All of it."

"I believe in our truth, Walter. The one we've made for each other. The one that made a retired fibbie take in a retired spy. The truth that allowed the spy to fall in love with that fibbie. The truth that made me want to live and love out in the open and not hiding in some dark dingy flop house somewhere. That's the truth I believe in."

"So the truth isn't out there?"

"No, it isn't, it's right here, with us."

"And the theme song that's gotten stuck in your head?"

"Just call it an X-File."

<fade to black>

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