Laid An Egg

They were men, big men, both over six foot. They had muscles and weren’t afraid to use them. When they made love, they grunted, groaned, farted, were loud and boisterous often frightening the horses with their mischief. And considering it was only the two of them living out in the middle of nowhere, they could be loud and boisterous anytime the spirit moved them.

And boy, for two ‘old guys’ they had a lot of spirit!

Alex got the jump on Walter one fine sunny afternoon while Walter was attempting to perform his regular chores around their ranch. Stalls needed to be mucked out and the chicken coop required a clean layer of straw. However, Alex had other ideas regarding what chores needed to be performed that day.

The assassin lay in wait in the shadows thrown by the barn. He leaned closely against the dark red clapboard siding. Using his highly honed senses and training, he calculated the precise moment his victim would exit the barn and be at his most vulnerable. At that moment, the assassin struck.

“Ooof!” Walter gasped as the wind was knocked out of him when 170 pounds of Rat Bastard wrestled him to the ground. The straw for the chickens Walter was holding in his arms did little to break their fall but it did make a softer carpet to lie upon instead of the hard packed earth of the barnyard.

“What’s gotten into you, Krycek?” Walter growled as Alex had him pinned.

“You, eventually,” Alex replied with a mischievous grin.

“Really?” Walter said, resigned to his fate. He stopped his struggling, relaxing as the comforting weight of his lover settled on him.

“Yes, really. And I’m hoping to reciprocate the gesture,” Alex purred as he humped his burgeoning cock against one of Walter’s well-muscled thighs.

Jade green eyes stared into warm pools of chocolate brown.

“Let’s go inside,” Walter whispered as Alex’s lips crushed his in a searing kiss.

“Can’t wait,” Alex purred as he rubbed his face against Walter’s cheek. Neither man had thought to shave. It sounded like sheets of 100 grit sandpaper grinding together.

Alex moved off Walter long enough to kick off one boot then shimmy out of one pant leg. Walter’s eyes grew wide, Alex was going commando.

“That’s convenient,” Walter remarked.

“No, this is convenient,” Alex murmured against Walter’s ear, while simultaneously fisting Walter’s hardening cock, encouragingly. Alex then leaned up, throwing his freed leg over Walter’s torso, aligning himself onto Walter’s dick. Slowly, Alex eased his pre-lubed ass down, inch by inch. Helpless, all Walter could do, was hold onto Alex’s waist.

“Holy shit!” Walter moaned as Alex slowly clenched his muscles around Walter. Walter continued his verbal reactions as Alex kept up his torture.

After a while Walter turned the tables on Alex. Using his bulk, Walter rolled them over. Roughly grabbing Alex’s legs, he pulled his lover closer, impaling himself deeper into Alex. Now in this position, Walter exerted his control.

“AUGH!” both men growled as they came hard. Their horses in the barn neighed loudly in response, making the chickens squawk as they scampered around the yard. Walter collapsed down onto Alex, both drifting into a sated sleep as they were.

“Why are you snickering?” Walter mumbled in a sleep raspy voice as he raised his head up off of Alex’s shoulder.

“Apparently we had company while we took our nap,” Alex informed him.

“How long were we out?” Walter made to roll off but Alex held him fast.

“About an hour,” Alex chuckled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Walter, don’t you feel a little weird?”

“The term weird, is relative. I’m laying on a half naked ex-assassin in the middle of a barnyard just having awoken from a sex induced sleep. What could possibly be weirder than that, other than one of Mulder’s X-Files?”

“Gently flex your shoulders,” Alex instructed. Walter raised his eyebrows. “Just do it, Walter, but gently.”

Walter did as instructed, slowly rotating his shoulder muscles. He felt something roll on his back.

“What is that?”

“Ummm...”

“What?” Walter growled becoming slightly impatient. Nonplussed, Alex’s eyes twinkled with mirth, as he kissed his growling bear. Walter relaxed; smiling at his lover, he asked again. “Alex, what’s on my back?”

“An egg.”

“Excuse me?”

“An egg. Sometime during our nap, one of our chickens decided you make a nice warm nest so she laid an egg.”

“Are you sure?” Alex peered over Walter’s broad shoulders to confirm. “Yup, one grade A extra large egg.” Alex giggled.

“So what do we do now?”

“Well, we could wait right here to see if it’ll hatch but I don’t think we want to lay here for the next three weeks. Do we?”

“No, Alex, we do not,” Walter deadpanned.

“Then I suggest, I take it, before we get up and then you can go finish your chores while I put my pants back on and go get us a few more eggs. I can make us a couple omelets for dinner.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Walter said as he laid his head back down on Alex’s shoulder.

“Um, Walter? Are you planning to move anytime soon? I think I have some straw up my butt.”

“Serves you right for attacking me in the barnyard. I did ask to go inside before we … you know,” Walter said with an endearing blush.

“That you did and the next time I decide to attack, I’ll make sure we’re positioned somewhere near something soft like our bed or the sofa.”

“Very sound strategy, but for now, can you please remove the egg.”

“Certainly,” Alex said as he took the egg off of Walter’s back.

“Uh oh,” Walter said as he pushed himself up and extended his hand to Alex who was struggling with his pants.

“What is it?”

“It looks like the owner of the egg is not amused. She’s heading in our direction.”

Alex turned to see one of their fat ornery hens quickly waddling through the yard toward them.

“Shit! She looks angry,” Alex said as he handed the egg to Walter so that he could use both hands to right his pant leg then pull up his pants.

Walter began to laugh.

“Not funny, old man,” Alex said as he hopped on one leg trying to get the other into his pants. Walter laughed harder.

“Walter!” Alex growled.

“I think you should forget the pants and just run inside,” Walter suggested.

“Fuck!” Alex said as he took off toward the house, one leg in, one leg out, holding his pants up and running the gauntlet weaving around angry birds toward the safety of the house.

Walter slipped the egg into his pocket, dusted himself off then went to collect more eggs for their dinner. Visions of Alex’s half naked ass running toward the house made his nether region stir.

“I think I better make that a half dozen eggs. We’re going to need the protein,” Walter snickered as he strolled to the empty coop to collect his eggs in peace.

 

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