Blair Sandburg sleepily sighed. It felt so good to actually sleep the entire night without the interruption of nightmares. It had been almost three weeks since David Lash had tried to become Blair. And for almost every night of those three weeks, Blair had suffered through nightmares.
Screaming nightmares of Jim Ellison arriving too late to save him.
Screaming nightmares of being paralyzed while Lash took more and more of his soul until no one could tell the difference between them.
Screaming nightmares of being dead and buried under Lash's name while Lash assumed Blair's life.
Screaming nightmares that had first brought Jim scrambling down from his bedroom, gun in hand. Without a word of complaint or a single wisecrack, Jim had calmed his partner then stayed with him until the younger man finally fell into a restless doze.
Blair luxuriously stretched, arching his body and spreading his arms and legs. His eyes suddenly flew open. Normally, his left leg and hand would have touched the nearby wall. Startled, the young anthropologist sat up and looked around.
Jim's bed. He was lying in Jim's bed.
Running a nervous hand through his curls, Blair listened for noises downstairs. When he heard nothing, he cautiously peeked through the railing.
Silence.
"Jim?" Blair quietly called.
Silence.
Thoroughly confused, Blair got to his feet and quickly padded downstairs to the kitchen. He found a piece of paper under his empty coffee mug that sat in front of the half-empty coffee maker.
Blair caught a glimpse of the clock and was surprised to see it was almost eleven. Pouring coffee into his mug with one hand, he turned the paper over.
'Blair. Simon called. There's a break on the Meadows case. Take it easy today and don't worry about coming in. I'll be interviewing witnesses pretty much all day. Call you later. Jim'
Blair took the note and his coffee to sit at the kitchen table. First things first.
'Simon called? I didn't hear the phone. I must have been really out of it or Jim grabbed it just as it jingled.'
Second things second.
'A break on the Meadows case? YESSSS!!! Maybe we can finally prove that SOB Allen Meadows not only stabbed his wife to death but also chopped her up in little pieces!' Blair mentally snarled at the thought of the sanctimonious widower who had managed to shed one small tear when brought the news that his wife's remains had been found scattered along a rarely-used hiking path in the Cascade National Forest.
Third things third.
'Jim's gonna call later? Good. He better be just interviewing witnesses and not running around all over Cascade! His senses have been acting up lately.'
Fourth things fourth.
'WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING IN JIM'S BED????'
Blair took a deep cleansing breath, held it, then slowly released it. "Okay, maybe I had another nightmare and Jim…brought me upstairs so we could both sleep. Yeah. And I'm just so wiped out I don't remember it. So Jim just let me sleep when Simon called." Tapping his fingers lightly on the side of his brightly-colored mug, Blair slowly nodded. "Yeah. That must be it."
Except he didn't remember having a nightmare. And he remembered ALL his nightmares.
Blair silently told the voice in his head to shut up. He had an explanation, and it was a good explanation. It was an explanation he could live with. Firmly resolving to put the entire matter aside, he began fixing breakfast.
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"mmmmmmm…." Blair moaned into the soft pillow. Snuggling deeper into the covers, he tried to fall back asleep. He dimly heard the water start up in the shower and inwardly groaned.
Sleepily raising his head above the covers, he opened his eyes. Then quickly shut them, shook his head violently, and reopened them.
"Shit!" Blair quickly sat up, the blankets falling aside.
He was in Jim's bed again.
Panicked, he got to his feet and nearly fell down the stairs. He heard the water in the shower being turned off. 'What was going on? What was he doing in Jim's bed again?'
"Sandburg!"
Blair actually jumped at the sound of Jim's voice bellowing from the bathroom. "Yeah?" he squeaked, then cleared his throat. "Yeah, Jim?" he answered in a louder, more normal tone of voice.
"Get some coffee going, will ya? You can have the shower in a minute."
"Right. Yeah." Blair slowly walked into the kitchen. 'Maybe the genie in the coffee maker will answer all my questions.' Shaking his head at the absurdity of his thoughts, Blair quickly got the coffee going.
Jim emerged from the bathroom and headed upstairs. "All yours," he called in passing.
Blair hesitated then slowly walked to his room. He glanced up the stairs, not entirely comforted by the normal sounds of Jim dressing. "Why isn't he saying anything? He's got to know I'm sleeping in his bed.'
Troubled by his silent thoughts, he grabbed clean clothing and headed for the shower. He never noticed Jim silently watching from the top of the stairs.
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Blair lasted until after dinner that night. They'd put in a full day tracking down leads on the Meadows case. Both Jim and Simon were confident they'd soon have enough to arrest Allen Meadows for the murder and dismemberment of his wife. They only problem was both Jim and Simon wanted the pleasure of handcuffing the obnoxious little man and couldn't figure out how they could both accomplish it. Blair had the suspicion Simon would pull rank.
But as they quietly worked to clean the kitchen after dinner, Blair's thoughts returned to the two previous mornings when he'd awakened in Jim's bed. He watched as Jim silently and methodically washed each plate then rinsed it in hot water before setting it in the drainer for Blair to dry.
'Why hasn't he said anything? Why haven't I said anything?'
Blair set the last plate in the cabinet and gently closed the door. "Jim, can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Jim shrugged as he headed for the couch. "I don't promise to answer it, but you can ask." He threw a grin over his shoulder as he reached for the remote control.
"Do you have any idea why I've woken up in your bed the last two mornings?" Blair held his breath as Jim hesitated then sank down onto the couch.
"You remember that?" the Sentinel quietly asked.
"Of course I remember it!" Blair snapped. "I just can't remember getting there! I go to sleep in my bed but wake up in yours!"
"Thank God," Jim muttered. He tossed the remote control onto the coffee table then twisted to look over his shoulder at Blair. "The department shrink said I shouldn't bring it up. That it was better if you remembered on your own."
"Department shrink? Remembered on my own?" Blair stared at his partner in panic. "Oh, God, Jim…what did I do?"
"Hey, c'mon. Sit down. Don't panic," Jim urged. He reached an arm over the back of the couch. "Nothing happened. Blair, I didn't phrase it right. Okay?"
Calming, Blair sat on the opposite end of the couch. "I don't care what the department shrink said. I want to know what's going on."
Jim nodded, running a hand through his hair. "That's what I thought, but I didn't want to screw this up." He took a deep breath. "You were having those horrible nightmares. Then when you…well, I didn't know what to do so I asked the shrink."
"WHEN I DID WHAT?" Blair shouted.
Jim blinked. "Sleepwalking. You were sleepwalking from your bed to mine."
Blair's eyes widened as he tilted his head to the right. "Sleepwalking?" he squeaked in surprise.
Jim uncomfortably shrugged. "I'd gotten into the habit of staying awake after you went to bed. I figured if I could catch the nightmare early…Anyway, I heard your heartbeat quicken and your respiration went off the chart. I was halfway downstairs when I heard you calm down. Then your door opened, and you came walking out. I thought you were headed to the kitchen or bathroom so I came on downstairs." He caught Blair's eyes. "Your eyes were wide open. I thought you were awake. I asked if you were okay, but you didn't answer. You just walked right past me, up the stairs, and climbed into my bed. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, you were sound asleep."
"Why didn't you wake me and send me back to my room?" Blair asked.
Jim half-grinned. "I was so relieved you were peacefully sleeping, I didn't want to take the chance. Turns out it was the first time you got a full night's sleep." He shrugged. "When Simon called, I left you asleep. I got a chance to see the shrink that day and explained what had happened. He said I should wait until you remembered on your own. I guess asking about it is pretty much the same thing." He worriedly glanced at his partner. "Isn't it?"
"I don't think you've damaged my psyche," Blair dryly assured him. "I did the same thing last night?"
Jim nodded. "Heart and respiration through the roof. Then you calm down and head upstairs to my bed. You don't say a word. You just get into my bed and go back to sleep." Jim scowled. "Or stay asleep. Or whatever."
Blair absently chewed on his lower lip. "It doesn't take a genius to figure out why I'm doing it. I start having a nightmare about Lash and I come looking for you…for protection." He saw the flush on Jim's face. "Sorry."
"For what?" Jim grunted. "I wasn't much protection when Lash came after you before."
"You saved my life, Jim," Blair quietly answered. "That counts as protection in my book." He rubbed his hands over his face. "Did the department shrink give you any ideas on how to cure my little nocturnal wanderings?"
"Only that when your mind settled down, you should stop sleepwalking," Jim smirked. "I told him your mind never settled down."
"Ha-ha," Blair grunted with a grin. "Seriously, I can't keep crawling into bed with you in the middle of the night."
"Hey, I'm glad you do instead of maybe taking a header off the balcony or heading out the front door," Jim pointed out.
Blair started chewing his lower lip again. "I hadn't thought about that," he admitted.
Jim studied his friend for a moment. "So let 's try something else tonight. Don't even sleep in your room. Come upstairs with me."
"Jim…that's your space," Blair murmured after a moment.
Jim shrugged. "Don’t make a big deal about it, Darwin. Who knows? Maybe we'll both get a good night's sleep."
"Sorry about that," Blair muttered. He sank lower into the sofa cushions. "Uh…Jim. I haven't…uh…you know…done anything…"
Jim's blue eyes twinkled. "Anything?"
Blair glanced at his friend then closed his eyes. "Oh, God. What did I do?"
"Don't sweat it, Sandburg," Jim chuckled. "My virtue's intact."
"This isn't funny, Jim," Blair moaned.
"All you did was sleep," Jim assured him. He waited until Blair relaxed then calmly added, "And snuggle."
"SNUGGLE!" Blair's voice rose a half-octave.
"Yeah. A comforting snuggle," Jim smiled. "No biggie."
"No biggie, he says," Blair groaned, closing his eyes again.
"Yeah. No biggie," Jim seriously answered. "Maybe I needed it, too." When Blair shot him an unbelieving glare, he nodded. "I didn't get back here in time to keep Lash from taking you. I damn near didn't make it in time to keep him from killing you. So maybe Sandburg…just maybe I need you close to me for a while."
Blair's eyes narrowed as he mulled over Jim's words.
Jim lightly tapped his partner on the shoulder. "I'm going to stretch out upstairs and do some reading. Come on up when you want."
Blair silently watched as the Sentinel rechecked the locks on the doors and windows before heading upstairs. He head the bedsprings creak as Jim stretched out. Curling up on the sofa, he quietly thought about what had been said.
After a few silent minutes, Jim cautiously peeked through the railings. He smiled at the studious look on Blair's face. Silently lying back down, he reached for his book.
'Every journey begins with one small step. I refuse to be grateful to Lash for anything. But maybe something good can come from this. At least Blair's in my bed. That's the one small step I need.'
July 2001
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