Lost and Found

Part 2

At the same time that Brian was having a conversation with Justin, across town Jennifer was having a conversation with Craig.

“What is he doing there?”

“His doctor said that he couldn’t live alone. I’m letting him live there until he’s well enough to go back to his place. It’s my house and I have every right to let him live there.”

”To let that….pedophile live under your roof?”

“He’s not a pedophile, Craig.” Jennifer said. He snorted a laugh at that.

“He might not be a pedophile but he’s still a fag and I don’t want him living there.”

“Like I said, it’s my house and I will let him live there if I want to.”

“I don’t want my daughter exposed to that!” Craig demanded.

“Exposed to what? You don’t want her exposed to someone that's kind and caring? Someone that helps her with her homework and talks to her when she needs a friend? Someone that loves her no matter what and is always there for her? Is that what you don’t want her exposed to?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Jennifer. I don’t want her exposed to his life style.”

“Is it that you think he’ll turn her gay like he did Justin?” She was fuming now. When Craig didn’t answer her she got even angrier. “That’s it, isn’t it? You think that Brian is the reason Justin's gay.”

“He wasn’t before he met Brian.”

“Yes, he was Craig. We just refused to see it. Justin has always been gay; Brian just let us know about it. And if anything, the time Molly is spending with Brian is helping her. She’s learning things from Brian that you could never teach her.”

“Like what?”

“Like tolerance. Like understanding. Like unconditional love. You might not want Brian there because he’s gay but let me tell you something, Craig Taylor. Brian Kinney is ten times the father to Molly that you have ever been, even when you were there. So he'll be staying in my house until he's better.”

“I refuse to pay child support as long as he lives in that house.”

“What? You can’t do that!”

“Yes, I can. You should have read the agreement more thoroughly Jennifer. It clearly states that if I don't agree with Molly’s living conditions I don't have to continue to pay child support. I don’t agree with them, so I'm not paying. As long as that man is living in your house, you won’t see a cent from me.”

“How can you be such a cold hearted asshole?!” Jennifer asked loud enough that every other conversation in the restaurant stopped and all eyes were on them. “First you abandon Justin and now you abandon Molly? How can you do that?” Craig was silent, just staring at his water glass. “You are a heartless, spineless, piece of shit and I never want to see you again. Ever.” Jennifer stood and grabbed her jacket, leaving the restaurant. When she got home the living room was vacant. Andrea had helped Brian up to his room a little while before Jennifer got home. Jennifer sat down on the couch and started crying. She didn’t know how she was going to survive without the money from Craig.

“Jennifer?” She looked up and saw Brian standing on the stairs. He slowly made his way down, leaning against the rail. She ran up and grabbed his elbow to help him down, then led him to the couch and helped him sit.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” she asked, wiping her eyes.

“What’s going on?” He asked, obviously worried.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Too late, so you might as well tell me.” Jennifer sighed and sat down beside him on the couch.

“Craig found out that you’re living here and he’s not happy about it at all.”

“I didn’t think he would be”

“He….” She sighed, not sure whether or not to tell him the next part. She decided he would find out anyway so she might as well. “Craig is refusing to pay child support as long as you’re here.”

“What? He can’t do that!”

“Yes, unfortunately, he can.”

“God, why is he such an asshole?”

“That’s what I asked him.” She sighed again.

“That’s not all there is to it, is there?” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she sighed again.

“Without the money from Craig I don’t have enough to keep living here.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Brian said.

“What do you mean, don’t worry about it? How can you say that?”

“How much was he giving you a month?”

“A thousand dollars.” Jennifer said. Brian nodded.

“Consider it rent.”

“What? Brian no…I can’t take your money.”

“Why not? With everything you’ve done for me? Jennifer, I want to help you as much as I can. This is how I can help. And it’s nothing. A thousand a month is no big deal. I spend more than that on one shopping trip. It’s pocket change.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” He smiled and she smiled back.

“God, why does everybody think you’re a selfish asshole?”

“Because they conveniently forget all the times I offer to help and they turn me down.” He said with a smirk.

“Thank you so much, Brian.” Jennifer said. She grabbed him and kissed him without even thinking about it, then sat back and blushed furiously.

“Apparently your kids aren’t the only ones that can’t resist me.” He said and they both laughed, though Jennifer blushed even harder.
 

*****

Saturday morning, Molly woke up early, got on her bike and started riding. She had heard about the fight Justin and Brian had and she was going to talk to her brother about that. How dare he yell at Brian? Especially when he was sick. She realized, as she got further into town that she had no idea where Liberty Avenue was. She saw two women walking down the street and decided to take a chance. They were pushing a little boy in a stroller, but there was still a chance. She remembered hearing about Brian having a kid and he was gay, so maybe they were gay too. She rode up to them.

“Can you help me out?”

“Sure, sweetie, what is it?” The dark haired one asked.

“I’m trying to find Liberty Avenue.” She said and the two women exchanged a look before looking back at Molly.

“Aren’t you a little young to be looking for Liberty Avenue?” The blonde woman asked.

“I’m trying to find the diner. My brother is a waiter there. I need to talk to him.”

“Oh. Um….I know pretty much all the waiters there. What’s your brother’s name?”

“Justin.” The two women once again looked at each other before looking back at Molly.

“Justin Taylor?” The blonde one asked. Molly nodded.

“He should be working now.” The dark haired one said. They both gave Molly directions. She was surprised by how close she was.

“Thanks a lot.”

“Anytime sweetie.” The dark haired one said. Molly stopped and looked at the little boy in the stroller for a minute.

“He’s really cute.” Molly commented.

“Thank you.” The blonde one said.

“He kind of looks like my friend Brian.” Molly smiled and the two women once again exchanged looks.

“You’re friends with Brian?” The dark haired one asked. Molly nodded.

“Yeah. He helps me with my homework a lot. And we watch TV together and stuff like that. He’s really cool.”

“Well, the reason he looks like Brian is because Brian is his daddy.” The blonde one said.

“That’s Gus?” They both nodded. “Brian just can’t stop talking about him. He loves Gus so much.” Molly leaned down and shook the toddler’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you Gus. I’m a good friend with your daddy.” Gus giggled.

“What’s your name, sweetie?” The dark haired one asked.

“I’m Molly.” She held out her hand.

“I’m Melanie and this is Lindsay.” Melanie shook her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too. How is Brian doing?”

“He’s sick a lot, but he says that’s normal. And we have a nurse that helps take care of him. And I take care of him too. He says that I always make him feel a lot better.” She smiled proudly.

“Brian’s lucky to have you.” Lindsay said.

“That’s what he said.” Molly looked at her watch. “Well, I better get going.”

“Tell Brian we said hi.” Lindsay said.

“I will.” Molly threw over her shoulder before making her way over to Liberty Avenue. She parked her bike in the alley, not finding any way to lock it up, then headed into the diner. There was a large woman with a red wig and bright clothes that looked at her as soon as she walked in.

“Are you a little lost, sweetie?” The woman asked.

“I’m looking for Justin.” Molly told her.

“He’s in the back. He’ll be out in a minute. Come over here and have a seat.” The woman pointed to a chair by the counter. Molly took a seat and that’s when she noticed the woman’s name tag.

“You’re that lady that my mom keeps hanging out with, aren’t you?”

“That depends on who your mom is.” Debbie smiled.

“Jennifer Taylor.”

“Oh, you must be Molly. I should have known. You look just like her.” Molly smiled. “So…you want anything to eat while you’re waiting?”

“I don’t have any money.” Molly said.

“That’s okay. You’re Justin’s sister. You can have anything on the house.” Then she smirked. “I’ll just take it out of his tips.” She and Molly both laughed. Molly ordered some fries and a coke and waited for Justin to come back. She was just about finished with her fries when he finally came to the front.

“What are you doing here, Mollusk?” He asked as he started to clean the counter.

“I came to talk to you.”

“Oh, what about?”

“About you yelling at Brian.” Debbie heard that and stopped what she was doing to look at Justin with a raised eyebrow, though she said nothing.

“How did you find out about that?”

“Andrea told me.”

“She did?”

“Well, she told mom, but I over heard. You had no right to yell at Brian like that. Especially when he’s sick. And you don’t even live in that house anymore.”

“Now hold on a minute….”

“I will not hold on. I think that you need to apologize to Brian.” By this time the entire diner was quiet, every eye trained on the siblings.

“Apologize for what?”

“For yelling at him.”

“Why should I apologize?”

“After everything that Brian has done for you, don’t you think we should return the favor? He helped you out after you got hit in the head. I think it’s only fair for us to help him out now. And he’s helping mom with money since Dad decided to be an asshole and stop giving us money just because Brian is living there.”

“What?”

“Dad said he wasn’t going to give mom any money because Brian is living there so Brian is helping us out.”

“Brian is causing you nothing but trouble.”

“God you are such an asshole! How can you sit there and say that after everything he did? He loves you so much and you can’t even see it. You’re so stupid. And Brian is such a great guy! How could you leave him for that fiddle playing prick?!” There were several quiet snickers around the diner.

“I can tell you’ve been spending a lot of time around Brian.” Justin said.

“How can you tell? Maybe by the way that I care about him way more than you ever did?” Molly was actually yelling by this point.

“No, because you’re language has degraded.”

“That doesn’t matter. That’s probably the only bad thing I picked up from Brian. You need to get your ass over to mom’s house and apologize to Brian or I am going to come down here every day and yell at you until you do. Before long word will get around all of Liberty Avenue that you’re a total prick that can’t be nice to a sick man.” Molly stormed out of the diner, got on her bike and rode off. Debbie moved over beside Justin.

“So…how does it feel to be verbally castrated by a ten year old girl?” She tried to hide a smirk as she went to put in a couple of orders. Justin looked around and every eye in the place was on him.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” He yelled as he turned bright red. Everyone turned back to their meals or their companions, though the conversations all seemed to be about Justin being put in check by his little sister.
 

*****

When Justin got home from work Ethan could tell that something was wrong. He put his violin away and went to make some tea. Justin went to take a shower. When he came out in just his robe, Ethan came over and sat on the couch, cup of tea in hand. Justin joined him on the couch, sitting sideways with his back to Ethan. Ethan took the hint and started rubbing Justin’s shoulders.

“Christ, you’re tense. What happened?”

“Molly showed up at the diner.”

“For what?”

“To yell at me. Do you know what it feels like to be yelled at by a ten year old in front of a room full of queers? My tips dropped drastically.”

“Why did she yell at you?”

“I kind of….yelled at Brian and told him to get the fuck out of my mother’s house.” Justin admitted.

“Why did you do that?”

“He shouldn’t be living with my mother. He’s my ex-boyfriend. My mother used to hate him. And now all of a sudden my whole fucking family has adopted him.”

“Was that all she wanted?”

“No, she wants me to apologize to him.”

“Are you going to?”

“If I don’t she said she was going to come to the diner and yell at me in front of everyone, every day until I do.”

“That would be embarrassing.”

“Especially since she’s going to make sure that everyone knows that I yelled at a sick man.” Justin sighed. Ethan winced.

“I would hate to get on her bad side.”

“And you should have heard her mouth. God, she’s definitely been spending time with Brian.”

“She had a pretty foul mouth?”

“She said that I’m an asshole and she doesn’t understand how I could leave Brian for that fiddle playing prick.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Brian.” Justin turned and looked at Ethan.

“I don’t care what they say. I’m here with you for a reason.” He smiled and Ethan returned the smile.

“But you still need to go apologize to Brian.”

“Not you too.” Justin rolled his eyes.

“Hey, I’m not defending Brian. I’m just saying for the sake of our income you need to go apologize. If you have crappy tips from now on then we won’t be able to pay the bills.” He smirked and Justin laughed.

“Yeah, I was planning on it anyway.”

“I thought that Brian was dying.”

“Apparently that was without treatment. Now he’s getting treatment and he should be fine once it’s all over with, but he’s going to be very sick for a while. With radiation and chemo and all that. They said his personality might change after the operation. Or at least…..that’s what my mom said.”

“That would be doing the world a favor. As long as the personality change was for the better.” Justin just nodded, though he was starting to wonder about Ethan. Maybe there was a side of Ethan that, even after two years, Justin hadn’t seen yet.
 

*****
 

The next day, Justin got up early so that he could go to his mother’s before class. When he got there, the house was dark and no one was there. He waited as long as possible and just as he was getting ready to leave, the car pulled up with Andrea and Brian. Andrea pulled a wheelchair out of the back and helped Brian into it. He looked tired and weak and Justin had to try hard to keep from staring at him. He couldn’t believe this was Brian Kinney.

“Come to ream me out again?” Brian asked. His voice was hoarse and soft.

“No…I actually came to apologize. I had no right to yell at you like that. Like you said, my mom’s a grown woman and she has the right to do what she wants.” Brian just nodded as Andrea wheeled him into the house and helped him onto the couch. She put the blanket over him and tucked the pillow under his head, then went to make him some soup.

“That all you wanted?” Brian asked.

“How…how are you doing?” Justin was honestly curious. Brian shrugged.

“I’ve been better. I’m really tired a lot but the doctors say that the radiation is helping a little so I get to continue with it.”

“How much longer?”

“A month, I think.”

“Then the surgery?” Brian shook his head.

“Then I get to go through three months of chemotherapy before the surgery.”

“That’ll be tough.”

“Yeah, I get to lose all my hair on top of being sick and tired.” Brian smiled weakly. “So what prompted the apology?”

“Why did anything need to prompt it?”

“Because I know you better than you think. What prompted it?”

“Molly came to the diner and ripped me a new one. She said she’d keep doing it until I came to apologize.” Justin sighed.

“But….is that the real reason you apologized?”

“No…I did a lot of thinking about it last night and I really didn’t have any right to yell at you. She just got me thinking about what I did. The apology is sincere.”

“Then it’s also accepted.”

“Geez, I think I liked it better when my family hated you.” Justin smirked. Brian laughed.

“Your family never hated me. Well…your dad maybe, but not your mom.”

“What makes you say that?”

“She told me so herself. She just had a problem with us being together. She couldn’t stand seeing her son with someone like me.”

“Someone like you?”

“Yeah, you know? Rich, successful, gorgeous. She was jealous.” Brian laughed and Justin smirked.

“It’s good to see that your ego is still intact.”

“My ego is just about all I’ve got left.” Brian sighed. Justin took his hand.

“You’re still gorgeous, Brian. Like Mikey said. You always will be.” He smirked. “You’re Brian Kinney for fuck’s sake.” Brian couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks. I needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” Justin looked at his watch. “Well, I have to get going to class. I guess I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, later.” Brian said. Justin walked out the door and sighed heavily. As he made his way toward PIFA he silently prayed that Brian really would be okay.
 

*****

Brian was being wheeled into the hospital for his third round of chemotherapy. Andrea was pushing him along when he spotted Ben.

“Hey Ben.” Brian called. The other man looked up and smiled, walking over to where Brian and Andrea were.

“Hey, Brian. What’s up?”

“Chemo.” Brian said, making a face and Ben couldn’t help but laugh.

“That bad, huh?”

“No, not really. Just boring as hell.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, all I have to do is just sit there and stare at the wall while they pump the shit into me.” Ben looked at his watch, then looked at Brian.

“You know…I don’t have anything going on for the next couple of hours. I could keep you company if you want.”

“Really? That would be great.” Ben had never seen Brian smile the way he was at that moment. He felt good that he could brighten Brian’s day like that. Ben walked along with Andrea as she pushed Brian into the hospital. It didn’t take long before the nurse came along.

“Hey, Brian.” She smiled sweetly.

“Hey, Dana. This is my friend Ben.”

“Hello.” Ben smiled and held out his hand. She shook it and smiled at him.

“Don’t even think about it.” Brian said with a smirk.

“What?” Dana asked innocently.

“I’ve fucked him.” Brian had to keep from smiling wider when he saw the disappointment on Dana’s face.

“Why is it all the good looking guys are gay?”

“Some are just taken.” Ben pointed out.

“That doesn’t help, but thanks.” She laughed slightly, then started hooking Brian up. “So, is Ben here to keep you company while you’re tied to the chair for a while?”

“Yup.” Was all Brian said in response.

“Well, Ben, that’s awfully nice of you. Are you just friends with Brian?”

“I’m dating his best friend.” Ben answered and she nodded. Dana finished everything up and smiled.

“Okay, Brian. You’re all set. Call me if you need anything. You know where the button is.” He nodded and she walked off. Brian looked at Ben.

“I think you were the one tied up last time, huh?”

“Yeah. I believe I was.” Ben smiled, unable to keep the memory from surfacing.

“Under different circumstances this chair could come in very handy. I mean….it does recline all the way back. And the curtain provides just the right amount of privacy.” Brian said with a smirk. Ben just laughed and shook his head.

“You are incorrigible, you know that?”

“Of course I do.” Brian smiled. “There’s a male nurse here that I’ve been trying to get alone for a while, but he avoids me at all costs.”

“Brian…” Ben looked at him.

“All of the nurses seem to fawn over me until they find out I’m gay. Then they just say hi and go on about their business.”

“Brian.”

“What?”

“It’s okay to be scared. You don’t have to bullshit with me.”

“Who says I’m scared?”

“You’ve never talked so much in all the time I’ve known you. Michael and Debbie both told me you have a tendency to babble when you get scared.” Brian sighed heavily. Ben reached over and took his hand. “Like I said, it’s okay to be scared.”

“What if this doesn’t work?” Brian said suddenly.

“You can’t think like that.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Brian, let me put it to you this way. Every time that I've gotten through a rough patch in the hospital, what got me through was positive thinking. Michael helped with that a lot, saying that I would be okay and that I would pull through and everything would be fine. You even did that a couple of times if I remember correctly.” At that Brain smiled. “So, don’t worry about the what ifs. Just concentrate on getting better. Say that it will work and that you will get better and you will get through this and I bet you will. You’re a fighter, Brian. You always have been. How else could you have survived the way your parents treated you? If you could survive that, you can sure as hell survive this.” Brian squeezed Ben’s hand, closing his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek. He opened them again and looked at his friend.

“Thanks, Ben.” Ben smiled and leaned forward, kissing Brian on the forehead.

“Anytime, Brian.”
 

*****

Saturday morning Brian was reminded that it was Molly’s birthday. When he made his way into the kitchen he could see out the window that the back yard was covered with balloons and streamers and a big banner that said Happy Birthday Molly. He sighed heavily. Because of the temperature he wouldn’t be able to stay outside for more than just a few minutes so he would miss most of Molly’s party.

“Morning Brian.” Jennifer said as she came into the kitchen.

“Morning.” He said and she could detect the bit of sadness in his voice. Brian sat down at the kitchen table and Jennifer came over to set a cup of coffee in front of him. She sat down beside him and put a hand on his arm.

“She understands, Brian.” She said with a smile. Brian looked at her a moment.

“Doesn’t change the fact that I want to be out there. I’m going to miss most of the party.”

“You could always sit here in the kitchen and watch out the patio doors.” She offered.

“That sounds like a good idea. Then I won’t miss so much.” He smiled. That was when Andrea came into the kitchen. She had graduated to a live in nurse when Brian started chemo. Even though it wasn't that long ago that it started, he was sick enough that the doctor decided twenty-four hour nursing care was needed.

“Actually, it would be better if you could lay down. You really shouldn’t stay sitting up for more than a half an hour or so.” She said and Brian sighed.

“I guess I could lay down on the couch.” He said and both women nodded. So Brian did as instructed and lay down on the couch while the party got underway in the back yard. Everyone had shown up. A lot of Molly’s friends as well as Justin and Ethan and Debbie and Vic and Michael and Ben and Ted and Emmett, though they were there mostly to see Brian. He spoke to each of them as they came in to see him, but reminded them that it was Molly’s birthday and she should get most of the attention, not him. They all agreed and made their way outside.

After a while, Jennifer came back into the house. She went over to the counter with the cake and started lighting the candles.

“Cake time?” Brian asked. Jennifer nodded and Brian got up from the couch. Andrea was right there with his wheelchair and as much as he hated the idea of being out there in the wheelchair in front of everyone, he conceded and she wheeled him outside behind Jennifer carrying the cake. He wouldn’t be able to stay out there long because of the heat. He was almost overwhelmed when he got outside, taking a deep breath.

“Brian, you okay?” Andrea asked.

“Yeah, just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.” She nodded but kept a closer eye on him. Everyone made some room for the wheelchair at the table so Brian could see what was going on. When Molly saw Brian she smiled brightly and Brian couldn’t help but smile back. Jennifer set the cake down in front of Molly.

“Make a wish, honey.” Molly looked around at everybody, then looked at Brian.

“I know that you’re not supposed to tell your wish, but I think that only counts after you make the wish. I think if you tell it before you make the wish that it’ll still come true anyway. I know that I’m supposed to make a wish for myself, but I don’t want to do that this time. This year, my wish is that Brian gets better soon.” She smiled and blew out her candles. All of the adults were reaching for tissues or napkins or anything they could get their hands on to dry their eyes. Molly came around the table and hugged Brian.

“Thank you so much.” Brian whispered as he hugged back.

“I promised I’d take care of you and I’m going to do that anyway I can.” She said with a smile before kissing his cheek. Brian couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks.
 

*****

After the first day of the second week of treatment, Brian ran his fingers through his hair and came back with a handful. He sighed heavily. He had decided to keep his hair until it started falling out. He didn’t want to put Molly and Jennifer through watching his hair fall out, however. Molly was at school and Jennifer was at work and Andrea was in the kitchen.

“Hey Andi.” Brian called from the living room. She poked her head out of the kitchen. Brian showed her the handful of hair and she understood. She helped Brian into the bathroom and then got him to sit down on the toilet. She then pulled out a pair of electric clippers and started to trim his hair really short. After the hair was about a quarter of an inch long, she got the shaving cream and a razor and shaved it the rest of the way off. Brian looked at himself in the mirror when she was done and sighed.

“My beautiful hair…” he whined.

“You know…my cousin went through chemo and when his hair grew back it was fuller and softer and darker.” She smiled at him.

“I don’t want my hair to be darker.” He sighed.

“Maybe it won’t be. Guess we won’t find out until it starts to grow back in, huh?”

“Now there’s a new motivation for living. ‘You have to get through it so you can see how your hair turns out when it’s all over.’ That’s a good one.” They both laughed and Andrea helped Brian back into the living room.

When Molly got home from school she stopped dead in her tracks. She walked over and ran her hand over Brian’s scalp.

“What happened to your hair?”

“It started to fall out so I just shaved it off.”

“Your beautiful hair…” She said.

“Yeah, I know. But it’ll grow back.” He said with a smile.

“And this gives you an excuse to wear hats inside.” She added with a smile of her own. That made Brian laugh. Molly kissed the top of his head. “Hey, can I call you baldy now?”

“No.” Brian said with a raised eyebrow.

“Cue ball?”

“No.”

“Um….Daddy Warbucks?”

“How do you know from Daddy Warbucks?”

“Annie isn’t all that old a movie.” She said with a smirk. Brian laughed.

“How about you just call me Brian?” Molly pretended to pout.

“What’s the fun in that?” Then she laughed. They spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching TV. Molly would occasionally call out various names and Brian would say no to every one.
 

*****

Brian was relieved to find out that the chemo was a little more than half done. He was feeling like total shit, though. Every last hair on his body was gone, even his pubes. He had never been completely hairless before and it made wearing clothes feel really weird. He had just gotten home from his most recent treatment when there was a knock on the door. Andrea went to answer it. A few minutes later she came back into the living room followed by Emmett. He had several boxes and bags with him and he set them down on the floor near the couch, then pulled a chair up.

“Well hello there, Brian, how are you feeling?” He asked flamboyantly, as usual.

“Like shit.”

“Well, honey. That is why I’m here.”

“You can make me feel better?” Brian asked with a raised eyebrow. Or at least where his eyebrow would be.

“Yes, of course I can. Now, I can’t make you feel better in the sense of making you not tired and making you not sick, but I can make you feel better by lifting your spirits.” Emmett said with a smile.

“And how exactly do you plan to do that, Emmett?”

“With a makeover.”

“A makeover?”

“Yeah. See…Teddy was reading in Red Book about these women that were going through chemo and they felt so much better after they had a makeover. Now, I’m not going to put make up on you, but I figured I could give you a facial, maybe a massage. Definitely a manicure and a pedicure. I even brought over some scarves and hats for you to try on if you want. It’ll be great.”

“And what exactly do I have to do?”

“All you have to do is just lay there and let me make you even more gorgeous than you already are.”

“That’s it? Just lay here?”

“Yup, that’s it. I know you’re exhausted so I decided to just do the stuff that requires that you do absolutely nothing.” Brian thought about it for a second, then nodded.

“Sure, why not?” Emmett smiled and got to work. Andrea watched with amusement as Emmett got started. The first thing he did was a facial, putting a green masque on Brian and then putting the cucumber slices over his eyes. While the masque hardened, Emmett started giving Brian a manicure.

“Oh my God, Brian, when was the last time you had a manicure? You’re nails are hideous.”

“I usually just file them.” Brian responded. Emmett sighed dramatically. That made them both laugh. Once the manicure was done he did the pedicure, making sure to massage Brian’s calves as well as his feet. When he gave Brian the manicure he massaged all the way up to the elbow.

“You know, Em. I could get used to this.”

“If you want, honey, I’ll do this once a week until you feel better.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Brian, if it makes you feel better then I have no problem doing it.” He smiled. Brian smiled back, then nodded.

“Maybe once every two weeks. But I would hate to take up this much of your time every week.”

“Suit yourself, but it’s not a problem.” After the pedicure was done, Emmett started going through the bags. He pulled out various hats and scarves and tried them on Brian. There were a couple of the hats that Brian really liked. One looked like a golfer’s hat. It was solid red. The other was a chocolate brown fedora. Brian didn’t like the way the scarves fit on his head so they were all tossed, but the two hats that Brian liked were put up into his room for when he wanted to go out.

“Oh, one more thing.” Emmett said as he pulled something out of one of the bags. “Teddy sent this along. He thought it might cheer you up.” Emmett placed the gift basket on Brian’s lap and Brian started laughing. In the basket were porn tapes and lube and dildos. He noticed that there was a card and he pulled it out. On the outside was a picture of a very buff, totally hot, extremely naked man. Brian opened the card and inside was a hand written note.

“Dear Brian,” He started to read aloud. “I know that it’s been a while since you’ve gotten any, so I thought I’d help you out. Here are some of my favorite tapes, some of them taped directly off my site, and a couple of dildos because even the most notorious top likes to get fucked every once in a while, and some lube for obvious reasons. I figured this could tide you over until you’re up to your old tricks again. Oops, I forgot, no old tricks, just new ones. Get well soon, Ted.” Brian laughed, as did Emmett.

“Thank Theodore for me, will you?” Brian said and Emmett nodded. He started to gather up his things. “Oh, and can you go put this in the back of the top shelf of the closet. The last thing I need is for Molly to find that.” Emmett nodded and took the basket up to Brian’s room.

“You’ve got some really great friends.” Andrea said.

“Yeah.” Brian agreed.

“They care a lot about you.”

“Apparently they do.” He said with a smile. Emmett came back down and Brian grabbed his arm, pulling him closer. “Thanks, Em. I really needed this.” He smiled and kissed Emmett’s cheek, something he had never done in all the time they had known each other.

“You’re welcome, honey. And if you need anything don’t hesitate to call. Oh! I found this fabulous robe that I think would look perfect on you. I just didn’t have the money to get it. It’s red and it’s silk and it’s gorgeous.”

“How much is it?”

“Um…if I remember correctly it’s fifty I think.” Brian nodded and motioned to Andrea who then brought his checkbook. He wrote out a check to Emmett and smiled.

“I wrote it for a hundred just in case the robe is more than fifty, and you can get something for yourself with whatever’s left over. Just as a thank you.”

“Oh, Brian, you don’t have to do that. It’s my pleasure.”

“I want to.” He said with a smile.

“Okay…thank you. You take care of yourself, you hear me?” Emmett leaned down and wasn’t surprised when Brian let him kiss his cheek.

“I will. And make sure you thank Ted for me.”

“I will.” Then Emmett was out the door.
 

*****

Brian smiled as he lay there on the couch. He only had two more weeks to go before the surgery. Two more weeks of feeling weak and sick. He looked like a skeleton with skin but the nausea was making it hard for him to keep from losing weight. Brian could tell that Jennifer was really worried about him, that everyone was worried about him, but the doctor kept saying that he was as healthy as someone could be in his situation. There was no cause for alarm.

“Andrea…” he called as a fresh wave of nausea over came him. She ran into the room and could see that Brian was about to get sick. Rather than try to carry him into the bathroom she just ran and got the trashcan. They had a special can put away just for emergencies such as this. She brought it over just in time. Brian hung over the couch, retching into the trashcan. After about a half an hour he finally stopped and lay back, with a little help. She went and got a washcloth and gently washed his face. She could tell that he was exhausted. Just then, the doorbell rang.

“Should I tell them to go away?” She asked and Brian shook his head. The exertion of throwing up was forcing him to catch his breath, but he wouldn’t turn away visitors. Andrea nodded and went to answer the door after taking the can into the kitchen to clean it out. A few minutes later, Gus came running into the room, followed by Lindsay. Brian smiled weakly.

“Hey, sonny boy.” His voice was very soft and sounded weak.

“Bri, are you sure you’re up to this?” Lindsay asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay.” She took a seat in the chair that was permanently stationed beside the couch. Since Brian wasn’t able to move around much he spent his time on the couch if he wasn’t in his bed upstairs. He had lost so much weight that even though he was taller than Andrea; she had no problem carrying him up the stairs.

“Hey daddy.” Gus said as he came over to the couch.

“So, how was your day?”

“It was good. I had lots of fun at school today.”

“That’s good.”

“We learned a new game. Can I show you?”

“Sure.”

“But…I need you to get up.”

“Gus…can’t you play with mommy and show me that way?”

“No, I want to play with you!” He protested.

“Gus, Daddy isn’t feeling very well.” Lindsay said.

“But Daddy, I want to play with you.”

“Listen….sonny boy, I would love to play with you, but I’m just so tired right now. I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“Why can’t you be like everybody else’s Daddy and be normal?”

“Gus! Don’t say that!” Lindsay scolded.

“Gus….I’m really sick…”

“I don’t care! This isn’t fair. Why can’t you be normal?”

“Gus, Daddy has no control over this. He’s trying to get better, he really is…”

“Well, he’s not trying hard enough. I hate you!” Gus said to Brian before running out the door. Lindsay looked at Brian.

“He didn’t really mean that Bri…” Lindsay started.

“You better go after him.” Brian responded. She just nodded and went after Gus. Brian just stared at the wall for a while. First his father hated him, now his son. He should have expected it.
 

*****

That evening Jennifer was running late from work and Molly was up in her room doing her homework. Andrea was once again in the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. Andrea went to answer it and was followed back into the house by Debbie and Vic. Both were carrying containers of food. Debbie stopped on her way to the kitchen.

“My God, Brian, look at you! You’re a fucking skeleton! I have got to get some food into you and fast.” She decided to forgo the kitchen and headed over to the couch.

“Deb…I’m fine. The doctor says I’m healthy. It’s just with the nausea it’s hard to keep anything down.”

“But baby, you have to eat something.” She protested. Vic came over and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Sis, why don’t you go into the kitchen? I’m sure the food needs to be heated. Andrea will help you out, right?” He looked over his shoulder at the woman standing in the doorway.

“Yes, of course. I’m sure that Molly is starving by now, and Jennifer should be home soon. We can get the food ready.” Debbie looked between Brian and Andrea for a few minutes, then got up and went into the kitchen. Vic carried his containers into the kitchen before coming back and sitting in the chair next to the couch. He could tell immediately that something was wrong.

“What is it, Brian?” He asked as he took the younger man’s hand. Brian refused to meet his gaze. “Baby?” Brian smiled.

“You haven’t called me that in a long time.”

“I know. You looked like you needed it.” Vic smiled and squeezed Brian’s hand gently. He tried to hide a sigh. It felt like he was holding five twigs instead of someone’s hand. But even bald and pale and bone thin, Brian was still beautiful. Brian sniffled and Vic noticed tears rolling down his cheeks.

“My son hates me.” He said finally.

“What do you mean?”

“Today…I couldn’t play with him. I told him I was too tired. He asked why I couldn’t be like everybody else’s dad and then he said that he hates me.” More tears poured down Brian’s cheeks.

“I’m sure he was just angry, Brian. Kids his age get angry so easily…”

“What’s the point, Vic? My own son hates me. My mom hates me. Why am I fighting so hard?”

“That’s a good question. Why are you fighting so hard? Hell, why fight at all? Take the pussy way out and just give up. Granted, everyone will think that you’re a weak little fucking faggot that didn’t have the strength to go on, but who gives a shit, right? Why care that people know that Brian Kinney was too weak to pull through? Just go ahead and fucking die already.” Vic decided to use his sister’s technique. It had worked on him numerous times, and he and Brian weren’t all that different. But as Brian’s shoulders slumped and the tears began to fall even harder, Vic realized that his plan had backfired. While trying to make Brian feel better, all he had managed to do was make him feel worse.

Vic moved over to the end of the couch where Brian’s head was and helped him sit up. He was weak enough that he was leaning against him. Vic wrapped his arms around Brian. He looked him in the eye then placed a gentle, tender, loving kiss on his lips. He wiped the tears from the younger man’s cheeks. Vic could see a smile starting to touch the corners of Brian’s mouth.

“Baby, listen to me. It may not seem like it right now but you have so much to fight for. Gus is just a little upset. He’ll get over it. Especially when you’re well and can play with him. And you can’t think that nobody else loves you because at the very least I do. And you better fight this because I refuse to let you die before I do and I plan on sticking around for a very long time.” He smiled as he once again put his hand on Brian’s cheek. Brian closed his eyes and nuzzled Vic’s hand for a minute, fresh tears falling down his cheeks. Brian then rested his head on Vic’s shoulder and Vic reached up, stroking Brian’s temple as if he had hair. Brain snaked his thin arm around Vic’s waist.

Debbie watched from the kitchen, the other two totally oblivious to her presence. She smiled when she realized Vic was using her old trick on him, but frowned when it obviously backfired. As she watched, she realized that her brother and her son’s best friend had a history that she knew nothing about. They were holding each other more like lovers than like friends. She figured if they wanted to tell her, they would. And she certainly wasn’t going to put a damper on something that was obviously helping Brian.
 

*****

Jennifer was sitting in a café just down the street from her office, waiting for Justin to arrive. They were supposed to have lunch together. She’d been waiting about twenty minutes when he finally showed up.

“Sorry I’m late” He said as he took a seat.

“That’s okay.”

“The class ran long.”

“Justin…it’s okay really. The important thing is that you showed up.” She smiled and they looked over the menus. They had just finished placing their orders when a cell phone rang. Both Jennifer and Justin checked their phones and Jennifer held hers up.

“It’s mine.” She said with a smile and Justin nodded, putting his away. She frowned when she looked at the call display. The hospital was calling her.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Mrs. Taylor?”

“Yes.”

“This is Dr. Corvis.”

“Oh, hello. Um…what can I do for you?”

“Well…I’m afraid we’ve had to admit Brian.”

“What? What’s wrong? What happened?”

“During the most recent treatment, Brian not only lost consciousness, but his heart rate slowed drastically and his breathing became very shallow. We’re still running tests to see exactly what the problem is, but he’s going to have to remain here in the hospital, most likely for the duration of the treatment.”

Jennifer simply nodded as she sat there. Justin watched her the whole time that she was on the phone. He started to worry when her face went pale but began to worry even more when she started shaking.

“Is he….is he going to be okay?” She asked with a shaking voice.

“We won’t know until we find out the cause of the deterioration. It would be best if you came to the hospital as soon as possible.”

“Yes….yes, of course. I’ll be right there.” She said and hung up the phone.

“Mom…what is it?” Justin asked, growing even more worried.

“It’s Brian….they’ve had to admit him. They said that he passed out and his heart rate dropped really low and his breathing was really shallow….” Her voice started shaking even more and before she was done she was crying. Justin moved over to her side of the booth and pulled her into his arms. “They want me to go to the hospital right away.” She managed.

“I’ll drive.” Justin said as he got up. He helped his mother stand, her legs suddenly too weak to carry her, and helped her out to the car. She was a mess the whole way to the hospital and Justin was amazed at how much his mother had grown to love Brian. Almost as if he were her own son. Brian had said to him once that Justin was very lucky to have a mother like his. As he watched her reaction to Brian’s condition he suddenly realized that Brian was right. If she could love someone that wasn't even a member of the family this much, how much must she love her own children?

They pulled into a parking spot in the garage and Justin got out, walking around to the passenger side and helping his mother inside. She went to the nurse’s station.

“I’m looking for Brian Kinney.” She said.

“And you are?”

“I’m his mother.” She replied. The nurse nodded and typed something into a computer.

“The doctors are running some tests right now, you’ll have to wait.” Jennifer nodded and moved over to one of the chairs, sitting down and just staring at the floor. Justin moved over and sat beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“Mom….Brian’s a fighter. You know that. He’s gonna be fine.” He smiled and she just nodded. He couldn’t think of anything else to say so they just sat there in silence. After a few minutes Jennifer pulled out her cell phone and called Debbie. She was at the diner but Vic said that he would be there as soon as he could. Within minutes it seemed Vic was sitting in the chair on the other side of Jennifer, an arm wrapped around her as well.

“I know Brian. He’s not going to let this get him down. No matter what happens. He’s too stubborn to die.” Vic hoped that there was more confidence in his voice than what he actually felt. As much as he believed in Brian Vic had the feeling that he would attend Brian's funeral and that just made Vic mad. He was madder at himself for doubting Brian than he was at Brian’s illness. They sat there for what seemed like an eternity before Dr. Corvis walked out to meet them.

“Is he okay?” Jennifer asked as she practically ran up to the doctor.

“What’s wrong with him?” Justin asked, following his mother. Dr. Corvis looked at the chart in his hand, then looked at Jennifer.

“Brian’s condition is the result of severe exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition. Apparently he’s been a lot sicker than he’s let anyone believe. We’re going to have to keep him here for the duration of treatment and we’re going to have to delay the surgery.”

“Delay the surgery….is that wise?”

“We have no choice. At this point Brian is far too weak to survive it.” Jennifer’s knees almost buckled but Justin and Vic helped her stand.

“You said that his heart rate dropped and his breathing was very shallow…” The question in Jennifer’s tone was unmistakable.

“That can be explained. It seems that Brian’s body was so tired, and dehydrated and malnourished that it just started to give up. Everything started to shut down. Why it waited this long, I have no idea. We can tell from some of the tests that we ran that Brian has been throwing up quite a bit. Some of his stomach muscles are even pulled from the strain. We have to keep him here to monitor his heart rate, but also because he is going to have to be fed intravenously. We’re going to be trying different medication for the nausea, but I think it best if we not try to put food in his stomach right now.”

“But you’ll continue with the chemo therapy?” Vic asked and the doctor nodded.

“With him here being monitored, and with the fact that the nutrition is not actually going into his stomach but directly into the blood stream, I’m confident that we can continue. Especially since he only has four treatments left.” They all just nodded.

“Can I see him?” Jennifer asked. Dr. Corvis nodded.

“Yes, of course. You can go in one at a time. He needs as much rest as possible, but you can see him for a few minutes. Apparently he hasn’t been sleeping very much either.”

“Thank you.” Jennifer said. The doctor nodded and walked off. When she walked into Brian’s room she had to try very hard not to gasp. He looked horrible. His skin was pale, he had dark circles under his eyes, he was thinner than she’d seen him before, though she thought that impossible. She didn't understand how he could be living with her and she hadn't really seen the way he looked. He was hooked up to a heart monitor that was beeping steadily, as well as several different IV’s. To say he looked like death warmed over would have been a compliment. She walked over and took his hand in hers very gently as she took a seat. He felt so frail she was afraid his bones might crumble under her touch.

After a few minutes Brian opened his eyes and looked at her. It was obvious that they had him on some kind of pain medication by the way they were glazed over. She was trying very hard to stay calm, to keep from crying. She smiled sadly at him and he managed a small smile.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. She shook her head.

“Don’t be. This isn’t your fault.”

“I feel like it is…..I never told you…” He said.

“Never told me what?” She asked.

“That I couldn’t keep anything down. Not even the broth. It was all coming back up and I never said a word. Couldn’t keep even water down. I didn’t want to worry you. I even managed to hide it from Andrea.” Jennifer suddenly found herself very angry with Brian.

“You should have said something. Now you have to spend the rest of the time in the hospital and they have to delay the surgery. Brian, you should have said something.” She was trying to remain calm.

“I know…I’m sorry.” He said. She could tell by his expression that he would have been crying were he not dehydrated. It was bad enough that he couldn't even produce tears. She noticed how much more freely he cried this past month and she felt bad for bringing it on again.

“Shhhh, Brian, calm down. It’s okay. I just….I’m so worried about you. Brian…I love you as if you were my own son. I’m scared for you.” Brian sniffled and nodded.

“I know…I should have told you.”

“Don’t worry about it. They’re going to take good care of you. The doctors are going to make sure you’re okay. You just have to help them keep you healthy, okay? Promise me you’ll tell them if you aren’t feeling well.” Brian nodded.

“I promise.”

“I have to go now, the doctor said you need to get your rest. You haven’t been sleeping either.” It was said more than asked. Brian shook his head. Jennifer stood and leaned down to kiss his forehead. She could tell he had a slight fever and would make sure to tell the doctor before she left. Brian smiled slightly as Jennifer touched his cheek.“You get some sleep, okay?” He nodded and closed his eyes.

Jennifer stayed and watched him for a minute. When his breathing evened out and she was sure that he had fallen asleep, she left quietly. She went out into the waiting room, collapsed in a chair and cried. She just let the tears flow like she had the night that Justin had gotten bashed. She realized that she was likening the two events. In both cases she had almost lost a son.
 

*****

It was two weeks after the last chemo treatment before the doctor’s declared Brian strong enough to go through the surgery. They kept tabs on the tumor and showed that it hadn’t grown at all in that time period and showed that Brian really was okay for the surgery. He was actually eating solid food once again, the final effects of the chemo having worn off. He was even starting to regain some of his color, though he was still very pale simply because of lack of exposure to the sun.

Jennifer made sure that she was with Brian the whole day before and the day of the surgery. She could tell that he was scared about it. They would be cutting into his brain after all, so it was completely understandable. She sat by his bed and held his hand. They talked about all kinds of things. Mainly what Brian wanted to do once he got out of the hospital.

“The first thing I’m going to do as soon as I get the okay is go to Europe. I’ve never been to Europe. I’ve always wanted to go. And Vance said that I could have as much vacation time as I wanted to recover.” He smiled.

“That’s great.”

“And I was kind of thinking of maybe taking you and Molly with me.” He said with a bigger smile.

“Oh Brian! You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. I really don’t want to see Europe alone and the two of you have been so helpful. I just….I want to do this.” Jennifer kissed his cheek and smiled.

“You're so sweet.”

“Tell that to everybody that calls me an asshole.” He smiled and they both laughed. After a little more conversation the doctor came in. He walked over to the IV rack with a needle in his hand.

“Okay, Brian. I’m going to give you something that’s going to relax you. We’re going to keep you awake so that we can tell if something happens during the operation, but we also don’t want you to feel any pain. So this is going to help keep that from happening.” Brian nodded and Dr. Corvis injected the liquid into the IV. It was a matter of seconds before Jennifer could tell that the drugs were taking effect. Brian’s whole body relaxed and his eyes almost rolled back in his head. He got a big goofy grin on his face and his eyes glazed over for a second.

“Oh, this is nice.” He said and Jennifer couldn’t help but laugh. That’s about the time that Justin walked into the room.

“Heya, Justy.” Brian said with a limp wave. Justin raised an eyebrow and looked at his mother.

“They’ve got him drugged up for the surgery.” She explained and Justin nodded in understanding. He laughed as he watched Brian try to figure out what they had just said. They sat there for a couple of minutes and Brian looked at Justin.

“You know what I could really use right now?”

“No…what?” Justin asked. Brian motioned with his finger so that Justin would move closer. It was obvious that Brian thought he was whispering, but his volume was the same as before.

“I could really use a blow job. You always give fantastic blow jobs.” Justin turned about twenty different shades of red and Jennifer couldn’t help but laugh. Justin looked at Brian.

“Maybe later, okay?”

“Okay.” Brian said, nodding. Just about then the orderlies came to wheel him to the operating room. As he was being wheeled down the hall Justin heard Brian yell.

“Don’t forget you promised to blow me later!” Once again Justin turned bright red and tried to pretend he had no idea who Brian was talking to.
 

*****

Everyone was in the waiting room while Brian was in surgery. They were all praying or talking or just standing around trying to pass the time until Brian got out of surgery. It seemed like an eternity passed before the doctor finally came out.

“How is he?” Jennifer and Debbie asked simultaneously. The women laughed and the doctor smiled.

“Brian is just fine. He’s in recovery now but we should be transferring him to his room soon. The surgery was very easy with no complications. His motor skills were not effected in any way so the only physical therapy he’ll need is to regain the strength he lost from being so sick.” Everyone sighed with relief.

“That’s wonderful.” Jennifer said. Everyone was smiling except for Justin.

“There’s a but, isn’t there?” He asked and the doctor nodded.

“We’ve already noticed a change in Brian’s personality. That was always a possibility given the part of the brain we were working in.”

“What kind of a change?” Vic asked.

“He’s not the confident, ‘Fuck em all’ Brian you used to know.” They laughed at the doctor’s description. “We’ve noticed a bit of…..shyness. And modesty.”

“Brian, modest? That’s really funny.” Melanie said with a laugh. Lindsay glared at her.

“So, what you’re saying is that Brian isn’t the Brian we used to know and love? He’s not gonna be out picking up anything with a dick?” Debbie asked.

“I’m afraid not. To be honest, for the first month or so you might have a hard time even getting him out of the house.” They looked around at each other, not sure how to process the information. Brian wasn’t Brian anymore. Everyone had gotten used to this idea of Brian Kinney and now that idea was shattered.

“Can we see him?” Jennifer asked.

“As soon as he’s moved from recovery to his room. But I would suggest one at a time. When more than one doctor started to approach him, he panicked. I’ll let you know as soon as he’s in his room.” They all nodded and Dr. Corvis left. Jennifer sat down and just kind of stared at the floor. How was Molly going to handle the change in Brian? She had grown so close to him. She sighed heavily and realized that everyone was looking at her.

“I don’t care what that doctor says. It’s still Brian. So he’s a little different, big fucking deal. Brian will always be Brian no matter what.” They all nodded in agreement. There was no point in acting like he was a completely different person because he wasn’t. He was the same Brian, just with a different attitude. And they would all be there to love him and support him no matter what.
 

Return to Lost and Found