Pilgrimage

Pt. 1

After months of secrecy, Brian finally revealed to Michael the reason for his, and Justin's breakup following Brian's return from Atlanta. Michael stopped unpacking the latest editions of Batman comics, and looked at his friend in disbelief. Was he hearing right? After all of the rivalry between Brian, and Tony how in the world could the two have possibly ended up in bed together? Even more unbelievable was that Brian had just confessed that he had feelings for Tony other than his usual lust for a one night fuck.

"This is fucked up, this is so totally fucked up! Of all the dickhead, dumbest things that you've ever done, this one ranks highest on your list. How the hell could you do this Brian? " Michael scolded.

"I didn't do anything. It just happened!" Brian attempted to defend himself.

"The hell you didn't, you just told me that you're in love with Anthony Massey." Michael said.

"I said I have feelings for him." Brian corrected his friend.

"For you that means love." Michael shook his head, and returned to his boxes.

"Alright, so what if I am, what if I am in love with him?"

Again Michael stopped, and looked up from his work. "How many months did it take you to get Justin back? You were like a lost dog pining for his master to come home. Now that things are semi back to normal, you tell me that you want Tony?"

"No, I want them both." Brian said.

"Both?" Michael's eyes widened. "Please tell me that you haven't mentioned this to Justin."

"No, I haven't. So far I've only told you, but I am going to tell him." Brian said.

"What? Brian have you totally lost your mind? What exactly are you going to say? Hey Justin, how about a threesome with the guy I cheated on you with in Atlanta?" Michael mimicked Brian's voice.

Brian picked up a stack of comics, and placed them on the shelf next to Michael's. "I don't know what I'm going to say yet." he confessed.

"Brian, think back to when you, and Justin first got together. Remember how you said he hated following you to the backroom, and to your circuit parties? You said yourself that the reason Justin started seeing Tony in the first place was because of antics like that." Michael reminded him. "Now you want to suggest one big happy threesome?"

"Something like that." Brian said.

Michael threw up his hands in frustration. "Yep, he's crazy. All of the years of poppers, and ecstasy has finally caught up with him. Children this is your brain on drugs! Pray tell Brian, where did you get such an asinine idea?"

"From Tony." Brian said with hesitation.

"Tony?" Once again Michael couldn't believe his ears. "Brian did it ever occur to you that Tony could be just another cockhound like yourself who will say whatever it takes to get inside a guy's pants? I can't believe you of all people fell for that bullshit. If you ask me it sounds like the player got played."

Brian really didn't expect Michael to understand. Hell he didn't quite understand what was happening himself. All Brian knew was that he couldn't forget the night he spent with Tony in Atlanta. Never had he so readily given himself over so completely to any man. As farfetched as it seemed Brian believed Tony when he said that he loved him, and would make everything alright with Justin. If only Brian hadn't panicked, and placed all of the blame on Tony's shoulders to save his own ass. How different would things be between the three of them now? That question had become a festering sore in Brian's heart that needed to be answered.

"I'll talk to you later Michael." Brian placed the last stack of comics on the shelf, and exited the comic book store.

With a new baby in the house, life at the "munchers" was now turned upside down. Jenny Rebecca's reverse sleep schedule had taken its toll on both of her mommies. The only person who seemed to remain unaffected was Gus. After another long night Jenny Rebecca, and Melanie were finally drifting off to sleep just as Gus had sat down for his first Saturday morning bowl of cold cereal.

"You be a good boy today, and help mommy Mel. I have to go to the gallery for a couple of hours this morning." Lindsey said. "Now where the hell are my keys?"

Gus looked up from his Fruit Loops. "Mom, where does Tony live?" he asked.

"Who?" Lindsey began to search the kitchen.

"The man who drove mommy Mel to the hospital. Where does he live?" Gus made himself clear.

Lindsey opened her purse, and emptied its contents onto the table. "You mean Mr. Massey? He lives in Chicago."

"Then what was he doing here?" Gus asked.

"I don't know sweetheart, maybe he was visiting his hotel. He owns The Plaza. Where are my goddamn keys?" Lindsey fumbled through the spilled items.

"Where is The Plaza?" Gus asked.

"I don't know Gus. It's downtown near Heinz Park." Lindsey found her keys among the rubble. "Mommy Mel, and Jenny Rebecca are asleep. You be quiet, and I'll bring pizza home for lunch this afternoon. Ok?"

"Ok mom." Gus kissed his mother goodbye.

Humm, The Plaza Hotel, where the heck was that, and how was he going to get there? Gus thought for a moment, then suddenly remembered what his mommies had always told him to do if he ever became lost. He was to go to the nearest McDonald's, and ask to speak to the manager. The manager would call the police, and the police would always bring him home. With Mel, and Jenny Rebecca fast asleep, now was Gus's chance. He could make it to the Plaza, give Tony his invitation, and make it back home in time for pizza before Mel, and Jenny Rebecca woke up. In Gus's mind it seemed like a solid plan. And so it was that Brian's son, with his father's handwritten invitation stuffed inside his back pocket set out on his pilgrimage to find Tony.

By the time he reached the second big street Gus was certain that Mel had made a mistake. There wasn't a McDonald's on every corner as she had often said. Gus had passed lots of street corners, and he hadn't seen a single set of golden arches. He had thought about stopping at the "Burger King", or the "Wendy's" that he passed along the way, but quickly remembered that his mom had been very specific. He could only go trust McDonald's. Gus shaded his eyes with his hand, against the morning sun, and looked off into the distance. Maybe he should have brought some water with him. He was getting awfully thirsty. Wait a minute, there it was, the McDonalds's golden arches!

Brian finished the last of his breakfast, and pushed his chair away from the table. "I don't recall you ever feeding me like this when we were together." He rubbed his distended belly.

Justin leaned over, and gave his stuffed lover a kiss before reaching for the dirty dishes. "That's because I have more time to devote to my cooking now." he purred.

"I didn't marry you for your cooking honey." Brian teased.

"You didn't marry me at all." Justin reminded him. "We were living in sin, remember?"

"Yeah, wasn't it wonderful." Brian smiled.

"It had its moments." Justin concurred.

Brian removed the dirty plates from Justin's hands, and placed them back on the table. Now was as good a time as any. "Leave the dishes for a minute baby. I want to talk to you about something." Brian said.

Justin took a seat on Brian's lap, and wrapped his arms around his lover's neck. "Before you ask, the answer is no." he said.

"No? You don't even know what I was going to say." Brian said.

"I think I have an idea." Justin smiled. "You're going to ask me to give up my apartment, and come back to live in the loft with you. I really don't want to do that right now Brian. I like having my own space, besides don't you think it's kind of sexy having you over at MY place for a change?"

"That's not what I was going to ask you." Brian said.

"Then what is it?" Justin asked. The young man's smile began to fade when Brian hesitated with his answer. "What is it now Brian?"

"Why do you have to say it like that?" Brian immediately went on the defense.

Justin stood up, and began collecting the dirty dishes again. "I should have known this was too good to be true. What is it that you want this time Brian, a threesome, a foursome? Wait let me guess, you got a new flyer for a circuit party that you want us to attend in another abandoned trailer truck. Or is this one in a rundown, abandoned motel?"

"It's good to know you still think so highly of me." Brian said.

Justin walked the dirty dishes over to the sink, and turned on the faucet. "I'm sorry Brian. I didn't mean to over react." he said.

"So why did you?" Brian asked.

Justin stared at the white suds growing in his sink. "I don't know. I guess I'm still afraid." he said.

"Afraid of what?" Brian asked.

"I'm afraid that this is just another sham, and it's just a matter of time before you're back on the streets fucking anything that moves, and passing me from trick to trick." Justin said.

"I never thought of it as passing you from trick to trick Justin. I only wanted you to experience your culture without the restrictions that heteros try to force on us." Brian defended his position.

Justin shut the water off, and turned to Brian. "Did it ever dawn on you that I may have wanted those restrictions Brian? Is it any less of a stereotype to believe that all gay men are cockhounds who only want to fuck, and have no interest in a real relationship?"

"Is that why you went to Tony, because he could give you the commitment that I couldn't at the time?" Brian needed to know.

"I never asked Tony for a commitment, and he never ask for one from me. I was always honest with him. He knew that I was in love with you." Justin said.

"You once told me that you would always love him. Is that still true?" Brian asked.

"How can I love somebody that I don't even know?" Justin sadly concluded.

"I don't understand what you mean." Brian said.

"I knew the kind of trouble I was walking into when I fell in love with you Brian. I knew that no man was off limits to Brian Kinney, but I didn't expect that from Tony. What he did with you was so out of character for him. He knew how much I loved you. I would have never suspected that Tony would have crossed that line. I'll never forgive him for that betrayal." Justin wiped the trail of tears away that had fallen down his cheek.

It wasn't until that very moment that Brian realized how fragile Justin had become. Michael was right, what a dickhead Brian was to even toy with the idea of bringing Tony back into their lives.

Brian walked over to where Justin stood, and enfolded his baby in his arms. "You have it all wrong baby." he said. "I just wanted to tell you that I've decided that the opening of Babylon will be a black tie affair. I wanted to talk to you about making an appointment with my tailor for a new tux." Brian made the save.

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Tony leaned against the shower wall of penthouse four at The Plaza Hotel. He wasn't feeling well that morning. As noted as recently as yesterday by his friend, and business lawyer Bishop Davenport, Tony appeared to be tired, and run down. Maybe it was the flu that was going around. Following the ribbon cutting ceremony for the opening of The Plaza Atlanta, Tony had planned to head home to Chicago for a much needed rest. This last minute return to Pittsburgh was unplanned. Goddamn engineers, what the hell was he paying them for if they can't properly erect a glass partition without his instruction. With the spring rain coming the last thing Tony needed was a leak in the Gazebo restaurant's dining room.

Tony turned off the water, and wrapped himself in his white terry robe. Yep, it must be the flu. Even though he was still damp from his shower, he was still sweating, and his stomach now felt queasy too. This was just what he needed. Tony could already hear his housekeeper Mary fussing at him for pushing himself too hard, and not taking care of himself. What she didn't know was that Tony wanted to stay home, and rest following his return from Atlanta, but he couldn't, not with the memories of Justin there locked inside of the bedroom next to his. Now with the renovation of the "White" room completed, Tony would try once again to return to his place in Chicago.

With nearly four hours before his afternoon flight, the exhausted millionaire stretched out onto the bed. He was about to doze off when the ring of the red hotel telephone interrupted his nap. What could it possibly be now? "Yeah, what's up?" Tony answered.

"I'm sorry to bother you Mr. Massey, but the police are here." Tony's head of security informed him.

"The police?" Tony lifted his head from the pillow.

"Yes sir, they're returning a child." The guard said.

"One of our guests lost a child?" Tony asked.

"No sir. The lad is looking for you. He says his name is Gus Kinney, and you are his father's boyfriend."

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NEXT WEEK: Pilgrimage, pt 2

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