Fantasy Season 5

Ice To Eskimos Pt. 2

The alarms began to ring when Brian passed through the metal detectors of Washington Public. No one, not even kindergarteners were spared from the mandatory safety precaution that had been installed in all Pittsburgh city schools.

"I need to check your bag sir." The guard pointed to the rolling case Brian was dragging behind him. "Who are you here to see?" The guard asked.

Brian held out his arms to allow one guard to do a hand held metal detector search of his person, while another guard came over to search his bag. "I'm here to visit my son. He's in cell 104," Brian said sarcastically.

"We're just doing our job sir." One of the guards said dryly. "Stop by the office before you go to your son's room."

No one bothered to look up from their work when Brian walked through the school's office door. "Principal Bailey doesn't see solicitors during business hours." One of the secretaries finally said.

"I'm not a salesman. I'm here to see my son, Gus Kinney. He's in Mrs. Bennett's room." Brian pulled out his identification.

The secretary studied Brian's driver's license, then looked at his face. "Go down the hall, and to your left. Mrs. Bennett's room is 104," she said.

The muffled sounds of out of control kids could be heard settling down behind their big wooden classroom doors as Brian walked the long hall to room 104. Damn James Stockwell for including Gus in his personal vendetta against him, and Tony. One word from the bitter incumbent mayor, and Brian Kinney's son had been blackballed from every decent private academy in the Pittsburgh area. Brian had suggested home schooling for Gus with a private tutor. Anything would have been better than this. However Lindsey rejected that idea citing that Gus needed the interaction with other children. It would teach him how to get along with cultures other than his own. "Culture my ass." Brian mumbled. "This is like a goddamn prison. No wonder Gus hates to go to school."

Brian paused outside of Mrs. Bennett's room, and peeked inside the door's window to find Gus, and his classmates sitting in a circle on the floor. Unlike the hooligans raising hell down the hall, the 5yr olds were listening attentively to a story that was being read by their teacher. Brian took a deep breath. "You could sell ice to Eskimos." He repeated Justin's words to himself before opening the door. The children all turned at once to find out the reason for the interruption of story time.

"May I help you?" Mrs. Bennett looked up at the handsome stranger.

Brian swallowed hard. "I'm Brian Kinney, I'm Gus's father," he said.

Immediately the seated children began to lean over, and whisper to each other. Brian smiled over at Gus, only to have his son turn his eyes away. "We're finishing up story time now Mr. Kinney. If you need room to set up anything you can use the back table." Mrs. Bennett said, and resumed her story.

Brian could feel his heart sinking as he set up his presentation on the long backroom table. This wasn't going well already. He was about to make a major ass of himself in front of Gus, and his classmates. Lindsey and Mel had been right. Brian should have stayed away. His very presence was only going to make things worst for Gus. "You could sell ice to Eskimos". Justin's words again repeated in the back of Brian's head.

Mrs. Bennett finished her story. "Are you ready, Mr. Kinney?" she asked.

"Anytime." Brian forced a smile.

Mrs. Bennett clapped her hands. "Alright everybody, let's settle down. It's time for our Thursday career day, and today we have Gus's father, Mr. Kinney. He's here to talk to us about advertising. Go ahead, Mr. Kinney."

Mrs. Bennett took her seat in the back of the class as Brian took the floor. "Like Mrs. Bennett said, my name is Brian Kinney. I'm Gus's father, and I'm in advertising. Do any of you know what advertising is?" Brian waited for a response.

A larger, dark haired boy sitting behind Gus raised his hand. "It's something that faggots do!" he called out.

"Tyler!" Mrs. Bennett frowned, and the whole class suddenly erupted in laughter.

Brian could feel the color rush to his face. He quickly looked at Gus who appeared to shrink even smaller amidst the cruel merriment of his classmates. "Children, children settle down!" The equally embarrassed teacher clapped her hands again. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Kinney. Please go on," she said.

"You could sell ice to Eskimos," Justin's voice whispered again. Brian took a deep breath, and continued. "When we advertise something we want to make someone else want to buy what we're selling. There are many ways to advertise something. Listen to this, and tell me what it is." Brian reached over, and turned on a recording of the McDonald's Big Mac jingle.

"McDONALD'S" The children's hands flew up.

"That's right. Now what's this?" Brian played another jingle.

"OSCAR MEYER BOLOGNA!"

"And this one?" Brian tried one more.

"TOYS-R US!"

"Very good! How about this one?"

"BANDAIDS!"

"Those are jingles." Brian said. "If we can get you to remember a jingle there is a good chance that you will want to buy the thing that we're singing about. This is one of my jingles."

The children listened attentively to the unfamiliar tune. Finally Gus raised his hand. "That's Playtime Toys." he said.

"I never heard of Playtime Toys." Tyler folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh but you will." Brian smiled, then reached into his bag for the three premiere toys in Playtime's collection. "Gus had a chance to try these out earlier this week, and tell me how he liked them."

All eyes turned to Brian's son. "Oooooooooh, really Gus?"

"That's right." Gus smiled. "I get to play with ALL of the new toys, and if I don't like them my dad won't advertise them. Right, pop?"

"Absolutely." Brian winked at his son, and smiled.

"That's nothing, my dad bought me a new Nintendo 3000!" Tyler said.

"Tyler!" Mrs. Bennett called to her student.

Gus turned around, and looked at Tyler. "So, my dad bought me a new computer!" he said.

"Gus!" Brian called to his son.

"At least my dad isn't a faggot!" Tyler blurted out.

Gus rose to his feet. "You take that back!" he demanded.

Tyler stood up as well. "FAGGOT!" He repeated even louder.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Gus lunged at his insolent classmate. Tyler fell backward onto the arts supply table, knocking it over onto its side. The furious youngster quickly straightened up, and pushed Gus back. That's when the fight ensued.

Brian and Mrs. Bennett rushed to separate the boys only to have their efforts hindered by a stream of Crayola crayons rolling underneath their feet. Mrs. Bennett was the first to lose her balance. The ample woman landed in Brian's arms causing him to fall backward onto the glass bowl on the windowsill that housed Goldie the goldfish. The children quickly chose sides between Tyler who suddenly represented the main faction of kids that lived in the outlying neighborhoods, and Gus who had now inadvertently emerged as defender of the outnumbered, and frequently bullied Liberty Avenue clan. Brian could hear the young voices cheering for their respective pint size combatant as he struggled to save poor Goldie who was now flip-flopping for her life on the classroom floor. Mrs. Bennett scrambled to her feet. "Children, stop it!" She yelled over, and over again, but neither Gus, nor Tyler were showing signs of surrender. The kindergarten gladiators were now locked in battle, and rolling across the floor like two anacondas.

Justin heard little of professor Powel's lecture that afternoon. His mind was on the other side of town with Brian who was at that very moment fighting to save face with his son. Justin checked his watch once again. It was later than he thought, well past 1pm. Surely Brian had finished his presentation by now. Why hadn't he called? Something must have gone wrong. Suddenly the cell phone in Justin's pocket began to vibrate. Under the annoyed glare of professor Powel, the anxious young man scrambled out of the lecture hall to answer it. "Brian?"

"Hi Baby, it's me!" Brian's voice came on the line.

"Brian, where the hell are you? I've been worried shitless!" Justin said.

"I'm having ice cream with Gus," Brian said.

"So what happened? How did things go?"

"Everything went fine!"

"What? I can barely hear you!" Justin pressed his cell phone closer to his ear. "Our connection is breaking up!"

"It was like selling ice to Eskimos." Brian's last words broke through the static.

Brian watched with pride as his little warrior rolled his tongue around the chocolate swirl ice cream just in time to stop the creamy custard from oozing down the side of its waffle cone. "So when did you learn to fight like that?" he asked.

"I don't know." Gus shrugged his shoulders, and continued licking.

"What you did was really cool. Thanks for taking up for your old man," Brian said.

Gus looked up from his ice cream at his father. "Pop."

"Yes, son?"

"Are you really a faggot?"

Brian's heart stopped. "Yes, I am," he said.

"Humm." Gus briefly studied his ice cream. "Pop."

"Yes son?"

"I won't tell mom that you're a faggot, if you don't tell her about what happened today. Deal?"

"Deal." Brian smiled, and took a scoop of his marshmallow sundae.

NEXT WEEK: Verdict

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