Words Can Not Express

Chapter 7

When Brian reached the loft, he found Justin sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands sobbing softy. Not wanting to scare him, he called out his name in a gentle voice. Justin looked up and ran to the man, throwing himself into his arms. Brian led him over to the sofa and held him, waiting for the sobbing to stop. He wanted to know what had caused the boy to become so upset, but waited for him to calm down before asking.

After a few more minutes, Justin pulled back and spoke quietly. "I'm sorry Brian. I didn't want to call you, but I didn't know who else to call." His voice was thick with emotion. He felt bad making Brian leave his friends, especially after forcing him to go out in the first place.

"It's okay, just tell me what happened. Did you remember something else?" Brian asked, still puzzled as to what happened in the few hours he was gone.

"Ethan was here. He showed up claiming to have been worried about me. I could smell alcohol on his breath the minute he walked in. When I told him that I didn't remember him he got really mad. He accused me of lying to everyone just to get you back. He said I was an ungrateful little shit who didn't care who I hurt. That he was happy to be rid of me because the last thing he wanted was to be stuck with Brian Kinney's whore, and that was all that I would ever be. He said that I would never be enough for you, that you would never love me, and that I would end up bitter and alone, just like I deserved," Justin cried, burying his head in Brian's neck.

Brian could feel the anger course through his body. He jumped up, ready to find the fucking bastard and beat the hell out of him when he felt Justin puling him back down. Looking into those blue eyes, he saw the pain Ethan's words had caused. He took Justin back into his arms and tried to control his anger.

"Justin, you were never my whore. Don't ever let anyone make you think otherwise. I may have screwed things up for us by refusing to admit my feelings for you, but it wasn't because of you, it was because of me. I told you before we left the hospital that I love you. I wouldn't have said that if I didn't mean it. Whatever he said to you was said in a drunken rage. It has nothing to do with the person you are. Forget about it and move on." Brian said before kissing Justin with all the passion he felt.

He realized the mistake he made in kissing him when he felt a familiar tightening in his groin. He stood up prepared to walk away, knowing he had to let him go while he still had some control left. He was surprised when Justin pulled him back for another kiss. All thoughts left him as he deepened the kiss. Justin groaned as he parted his lips to allow Brian's tongue to explore his mouth. The kiss lasted for a few more minutes before Brian, using every bit of willpower he had, pulled away. Both men stood there trying to get their breathing under control.

"I'm sorry Brian; I shouldn't have done that. I know we’re not together anymore, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Being in your arms just feels so right, like I’m finally home." Justin blushed, as he tried to walk away. Brian wouldn't let him go.

"Don't ever apologize for kissing me like that. I didn't stop because I didn't want to kiss you; I stopped because I didn't want to have to take another cold shower. One a day is more then enough for me." Brian said with a twinkle in his eyes.

He couldn't believe the power Justin still had over him. Just looking at the blond made him want to bury himself deep inside and never leave. ‘Where are these thoughts coming from?’ He thought to himself. He needed to put some space between the two of them and fast.

"Why don't you go to bed? It's late and tomorrow is going to be a long day. I'm sure the family will be here to see you. I had a hard enough time keeping them away today. I'm just going to do a little work on one of the ads I have to pitch next week. I'll be in soon," he said, leaving no room for discussion.

"Oh okay. I guess I am kind of tired. Goodnight Brian, and thanks again for coming home. I don't know what I'd do without you." Justin answered before heading into the bedroom. As he lay down on the big bed he realized how tired he really was. He was asleep in a matter of minutes.

Brian waited until he was sure Justin had fallen asleep before he picked up the phone. Ethan answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" he mumbled in a drunken stupor.

"Stay the fuck away from him or I'll make sure you never play the violin again" Brian hissed before disconnecting the call and throwing the phone into the wall.

He couldn't believe that little shit had the nerve to show his face after all he had said about not wanting to get involved and it not being his business. Brian meant what he had said. If Ethan ever went near Justin again he would regret it. As he sat staring at the computer, his mind went back to the things Ethan had said to Justin. Would Justin be enough for him? Could he stop tricking now that he had Justin back? Did he even have Justin back? Brian got up and walked to the bedroom, trying to put aside the questions plaguing his mind. He stripped down and climbed into his bed, careful not to wake Justin. Just like in the past, Justin's sleeping form found its way into Brian's arms. After hearing a contented sigh, Brian decided to just let things happen and hope for the best. He fell asleep enjoying the feel of Justin in his arms again.


End of part 7
6/3/03

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