Whatever It Takes

Chapter 7

Brian and Justin managed to put away the memory of Jennifer Taylor and enjoy the rest of their day. Being Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year, the boys went back to the loft to put away their groceries and headed to the mall. Brian didn’t normally shop there, but wanted to get Justin out of the loft and away from the memories that his mother stirred up. As it turned out, Justin was a big help to Brian, giving him ideas on what to get Gus for Christmas. By the time their shopping trip was over, Brian’s bank account had suffered a serious hit, but they were both tired and happy.

“What do you want for dinner? I could make that vegetable lasagna I was telling you about,” Justin offered on the ride home.

“Justin, you really don’t have to keep cooking for me. I’ve always found it easier to order in for dinner,” Brian explained, feeling guilty for allowing Justin do all of the cooking.

“I know, Brian, but I really don’t mind. I always enjoyed cooking with my mother. It’s fun to watch people enjoying your creations. Besides, I know you don’t get enough home cooked meals. I want to do this for you after all you’ve done for me.”

“Alright, if you say so,” Brian relented easily. Justin was right. Brian didn’t get enough home cooked meals. Debbie was always trying to get him to go over there for dinner, but with his work schedule it wasn’t possible most of the time.

After dinner was finished and all the dishes had been washed and put away, Brian and Justin had settled down to watch some TV when Justin asked a favor.

“Brian, would it be alright if I called Daphne? I haven’t spoken to her since…well, you know. I should probably give her a call and let her know that I’m okay.”

“Sure, why don’t you use the phone in my bedroom so you can have some privacy? I’ll stay here and flip through the channels and see if I can find anything decent to watch,” Brian said, knowing how hard the call was going to be on Justin.

“Thanks,” Justin replied, heading towards the bedroom.

He grabbed the phone off the nightstand and sat down on Brian’s bed, trying not to think about the previous night when they had shared the bed together. He dialed Daphne’s home number and had to answer a long series of questions from Mrs. Chander’s before she offered up Daphne’s new phone number. Taking a deep breath, he dialed her number with a shaky hand, preparing himself for her wrath.

“Hello?”

“Hey Daph, it’s me,” Justin said softly.

“Justin? Oh my God, how are you? Where are you? Are you alright? I’ve been worried sick about you. I kept calling the hospital but they wouldn’t give me any information. Then I called you yesterday morning and they said you’d been released. I called your house, but your Dad said that he didn’t have a son anymore!” Daphne rushed out, happy to hear her friend’s voice.

Justin chuckled at Daphne’s excitement. “Slow down, Daphne, I’m fine. I’m staying at Dr. Kinney’s place right now until we can figure out where I can go from here. I’m okay, though, and I’m so sorry for what I put you through. I never thought about how you would feel with what I did. I was only thinking about myself.”

“What happened, Justin? I talked to you the night before and everything seemed fine? What caused you to do something like that, and why didn’t you come to me first?” Daphne asked the pain evident in her voice.

“I told my parents that I was gay. I couldn’t stand being in the closet anymore. I mean, it wasn’t bad when you were here, but you were the only one who knew and you were leaving. I figured that my parents loved me enough to accept me for who I was. Apparently I was wrong. I’ve never seen my father so angry before. He threw some of my stuff in a bag and kicked me out. I had no where to go. I was scared, Daph.” Justin explained his voice thick with emotion.

“Oh Justin, I’m so sorry, but you still should have come to me. We would have figured something out. You scared the hell out of me. When I saw you laying there…all that blood; I thought you were dead. My whole world stopped for a split second,” Daphne choked, trying to hold back a sob.

“I know, and I’m so sorry. I guess I didn’t think about everything when I…I was only thinking about myself. I’m okay now, though. Brian has really helped me to see that I can go on, despite being tossed aside by my family like a bag of garbage,” Justin explained, trying to ease her mind.

“Brian?”

“I mean Dr. Kinney,”

“Oh,” Daphne replied quietly. She could sense something in Justin’s voice when he talked about this Dr. Kinney and wondered what the story was between the two of them. It’s not usual that patients go home with their doctors. “So, what’s next?”

“I’m not really sure. Brian’s friend is a lawyer and she’s going to look into a couple of things and see what my options are. I can’t stay here forever,” Justin said, secretly wishing he could do just that.

“Well, when you figure out what you’re going to do next, make sure you call me and let me know. I’m worried about you. I wish I could be there to help you through this,” Daphne couldn’t seem to shake off the guilt she felt knowing that she had left him behind to face everything alone.

“You’ll be there first one I call,” Justin assured her with a smile; like he had anyone else to call. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay Justin, and remember…I love you.”

“I love you, too Daph,” Justin replied softly before hanging up the phone. He took a deep breath, trying to control his emotions. He missed his friend so much and wished she was still living across town, knowing he wouldn’t be in the mess he was in if she was.

When he rejoined Brian, he was still searching for something on TV. “No luck finding anything?”

“TV is for shit,” Brian replied as he turned down the sound and faced Justin. “How did it go with Daphne?”

Justin plopped down on the couch before answering. “Okay, I guess. I miss her so much. She’s the only one I have left who cares about me.”

“No, she’s not,” Brian assured him quietly; the implication of his response hanging in the air.

Justin heart began to race at Brian’s words, and he had to fight an internal battle to keep from throwing himself in the older man’s arms. “Thanks, Brian,” he whispered in reply.

Brian broke the spell that seemed to settle on them when he resumed his search of something on TV.

They sat together watching a really bad movie that Brian had found while channel surfing and ended up going to bed early, each one claiming fatigue. Justin curled up on the couch, his mind running through the days since his meeting Brian. Even though he didn’t have any experience with other men, he was beginning to think he was falling in love with his doctor. The care and concern Brian offered him warmed Justin’s heart and made him feel as if he really did have a reason to live. He drifted off to sleep with visions of hazel eyes consuming his thoughts.

Justin was in the middle of a pretty heated dream when he heard the increasingly familiar sounds of Brian calling out in his sleep. He jumped up from the couch and made his way into the bedroom to find Brian thrashing around on the bed. He hesitated for a moment, not sure of what to do next, but then decided to do what he did the night before and climbed into bed with the agitated man. Unlike the night before, Brian turned in Justin’s arms and placed his lips on Justin’s, igniting a fire that spread through his body. He allowed himself the a few moments to enjoy the kiss before pulling back and breaking the contact. As much as he wanted to loose himself in their union, he knew that taking advantage of Brian’s vulnerability while he was sleeping was not the right thing to do.

“Brian? Wake up, you’re having another nightmare,” he whispered softly.

“I am awake, Justin. I have been since you crawled in beside me,” Brian replied quietly.

“But…” Justin said, trying to understand what Brian was saying. If he was awake since Justin got in bed, that meant…

“Shhh,” Brian replied, once again covering Justin’s lips with his own. He deepened the kiss this time, using his tongue to gain entry into Justin’s warm mouth. His mind was reeling with all the reasons why he should stop what was happening between them, but his body ached for Justin’s touch.

Justin took Brian’s tongue into his mouth, feeling his cock harden at the taste of the older man. This was what he had been dreaming about, almost since he first met his doctor in the hospital. He reached his hand up and touched Brian’s face, almost as if he needed to reassure himself that this was real; that the dreams he’d been having for the last week were actually becoming a reality. Once he was sure that what was happening was real, he pushed aside his thoughts and lost himself in the feelings Brian was creating. He was taken back when Brian broke the kiss.

“Justin, we shouldn’t be doing this. What’s happening between us goes against everything I stand for and the oath that I took when I became a doctor. Maybe it would be best if you went back to the couch,” Brian suggested, fighting to gain control of his senses.

“Please don’t send me away, Brian. I want to be here for you,” Justin pleaded, hoping he wasn’t pushing too hard. “Let me be here for you.”

“And what about you? Who’s going to be there for you? I can’t be who you want me to be. I can’t be who and what you need. I don’t believe in love and relationships, Justin, only one night stands. I’m sorry, but that’s my reality. What happens tomorrow when you want more than I can give?” Brian asked, caressing Justin’s cheek softly.

Justin could feel his heart breaking at Brian’s words, but knew he couldn’t walk away. He’d worry about his pain in the morning. Right now all he wanted was to be with Brian. “Tomorrow will take care of itself, Brian. All that matters is right now.”

“Justin, I can’t do this. You’re my patient and you just tried to kill yourself. I can’t take what I need and ignore the repercussions of what our being together might do to you,” Brian explained, trying to ease his building hard on.

Justin rose from the bed, watching a mixture of emotions cross Brian’s face. He stood before the older man and pulled down his shorts, revealing his hard cock, standing at attention.

“Justin, please…”

“I know what I’m doing, Brian. I know what you’re offering, and I’m okay with that. I need you tonight. I need to feel alive again,” Justin whispered. He climbed back into bed and took Brian in his arms. “You don’t want me to go. You want me as much as I want you. Take me, Brian.”

Brian lost the little control he had and attacked Justin’s mouth with all the pent up passion he felt for the blond. He plunged his tongue inside while allowing his hands to roam over the lithe body beneath him. All rational thought had vanished the moment Justin whispered for him to take him. He pulled away from the inviting mouth and began to shower Justin with kisses as he worked his way down the younger man’s torso. He wanted to go slow, knew he needed to go slow, yet he couldn’t seem to control his actions. As he continued to move down he was pleased to see his target come into view. Placing a gentle kiss on the leaking cock, he smiled to himself at the moan Justin released. He slipped out his tongue and ran it around the tip, relishing the taste of the pre cum he found there, before taking the shaft in his mouth. Justin was well endowed and filled Brian’s mouth to capacity, but Brian took every inch eagerly with the sounds he was eliciting from Justin egging him on.

Justin’s mind was racing and the room was spinning from the feelings that Brian was creating. He’d never had anyone’s mouth on him before and the feeling was so intense that he felt like he was going to burst into flames.

“Brian…please…I can’t…” he mumbled incoherently.

Brian looked up at Justin and smiled. “It’s okay, Justin. Just relax and enjoy what I’m doing to you.”

Justin laid his head back and took a deep breath as Brian continued to give him pleasure. His tried to follow Brian’s advice and relax, but he was too turned on to do anything but moan and writhe in passion. He was so lost that he never noticed when Brian reached into the night stand, and jumped when he felt Brian’s finger seeking entry in his hole.

“Brian? Ahhh….”

“Relax, just breathe. This is going to hurt a bit but it will get better, I promise,” Brian assured him. He slowly inserted a finger into Justin’s tight hole, and marveled at the sight before him. Justin’s head was thrown back and his body was covered in a light sweat; and it was all for him. Justin had never shared this with anyone else and for some reason that thought excited Brian even more. He began to slowly finger fuck Justin, careful to go slow and allow Justin time to adjust to the intrusion before adding a second finger, than a third. Once he was sure that Justin was ready, he withdrew his fingers and climbed up further on the bed, positioning himself between Justin’s legs.

“Are you sure this is what you want? This is your last chance to back out,” Brian offered, hoping that Justin didn’t take the chance. He knew he would back off if Justin asked him to, but it would be the hardest thing he had ever done now that he had a taste of what was laid out before him.

“Never. I need to have you inside of me,” Justin replied huskily, his gaze filled with lust and something more that Brian didn’t want to decipher.

Brian sheathed his cock in a condom and covered himself with lube before placing his cock at the waiting hole and slowly started sliding in. “Breathe, Justin…just breathe.”

“Oh God, it hurts,” Justin groaned.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Yes…no…just give me a minute,” he replied softly.

“Anything you want. You tell me when you’re ready for more,” Brian assured him, fighting back the urge to thrust inside the warm hole. He could see Justin begin to relax and waited patiently until he felt Justin begin squirming underneath him.

“”I’m ready for more,” Justin said, his pain subsiding and his pleasure building.

Brian leaned down and kissed Justin deeply before beginning to thrust inside of him, quickly finding a steady rhythm. Together they began their dance, both of them inching their way towards climax. Brian could feel the familiar tingling starting in his sac and knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. He reached between their bodies and grabbed Justin’s cock and began jerking the boy off in rhythm with his thrusts.

Justin felt Brian grip his dick and jumped at the contact. His mind was reeling from the extreme pleasure his body was experiencing and he could feel himself moving closer to the edge.

“Brian…I…God…I’m going to…”

“That’s it…come for me…”

Justin flew over the edge, calling out Brian’s name as his orgasm ripped through his body.

The tightening of Justin’s muscles around his cock, as well as the sound of Justin calling out his name sent Brian into an earth shattering orgasm, leaving him breathless. He turned slightly before collapsing next to Justin, desperately trying to catch his breath.

“Are you okay?” Brian asked, running a hand along Justin’s stomach.

“I’m not sure. That was…wow,” Justin replied, his fatigue evident.

“Yeah, it was,” Brian chuckled, refusing to think about his feeling towards what they had just done. He rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and clean up. He returned to the bed with a damp cloth and cleaned Justin up before climbing back into bed and taking Justin in his arms. Despite what his brain was telling him, he wanted to have the young man close. He would worry about his brain later.

“I guess I should go back to the couch,” Justin suggested, wanting to stay where he was, but not wanting to scare Brian away.

“You’re fine where you are. Let’s just go to sleep for now and we’ll deal with everything else tomorrow,” Brian answered. He placed a soft kiss on Justin’s lips before nudging Justin on to his side and settling in behind him.

“Thank you, Brian,” Justin whispered in the darkness.

“Don’t thank me just yet, Justin. Come tomorrow you just might be telling me to fuck off,” Brian stated, pushing away his guilt and drifting off to sleep with Justin in his arms.

Justin felt a dull ache form in his chest, but refused to let it consume him. Brian may try to push him away when the sun came up, but Justin was going to do whatever it took to hang on long enough for Brian to see how much they needed each other.


End of part 7
5/17/04

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