Whatever It Takes

Chapter 6

Brian tossed and turned unable to stop thinking about the spark he had felt when his lips touched Justin's. The kid was only eighteen, and was also his patient. He couldn't allow himself to cross the line anymore than he already had. Glancing at the clock, he realized that was already passed midnight. He knew he needed to find a way to fall asleep. Pushing thoughts of Justin out of his mind, he closed his eyes and refocused his mind on work, eventually feeling himself drift off to sleep.

Justin lay awake on the couch, reliving the kiss that he and Brian had shared. Even though he had kissed a few boys in his life, no one compared to Brian Kinney. The man exuded sex, making it hard for Justin to think straight when they were in the same room. Especially since he found out that the man was gay. The silence in the loft seemed to offer comfort to Justin and he tried to push thoughts of the older man out of his mind. It was already 2:00 am and he knew he needed to get some sleep. As he felt himself slipping into oblivion, he was startled awake by a strangled sob coming from the bedroom. He jumped up and raced to the bed, finding Brian thrashing around in his sleep, obviously deep in the middle of a nightmare.

Not sure of what he should do, Justin pulled back the covers and climbed in, taking Brian into his arms gently and trying to sooth the man without waking him. In a matter of minutes, he felt Brian begin to relax in his sleep, so he continued to hold him and drifted off to sleep, wondering what demons had caused the dreams.

Brian was in the townhouse. He could hear the eerie silence and knew that something was wrong. He called out to Lindsay and began to panic when he got no reply. He raced upstairs looking in each room. He was thankful to find Gus asleep in his crib. The only room he hadn't looked in was the bathroom. Afraid of what he was going to find there, he reached a shaking hand out and turned the knob. Lindsay was there, lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood. There were two deep gashes across her wrists. The pain of what she had done ran deep inside of Brian as he struggled to breathe. He dropped to his knees, taking her in his arms while his body became racked with sobs. The next thing he knew, he was being wrapped in someone's arms. The visions in his head disappeared and he felt a calm presence surround him. He drifted off into nothingness, enjoying the warmth around him.

Brian woke up with his arms wrapped around someone beside him. Knowing that he never allowed a trick to spend the night, it took him a few minutes to figure out the person in his arms was Justin. 'What is he doing in my bed?' he thought to himself. Before he had time to react, Justin began to stir.

"Good morning," Justin said softly, gently moving out of Brian's arms.

"Good morning. What are you doing here?" Brian asked, trying to figure out what had happened the night before. He distinctly remembered going to sleep alone.

"I...I'm sorry. You were having a nightmare. I wasn't sure what to do so I..." Justin stammered, realizing how foolish it was to climb into bed with Brian.

"It's okay. I guess I was just surprised to find that I wasn't alone. How did you know..."

"You were crying out in bed. When I came in to see if you were alright, you were thrashing around. It was obvious that you were very upset. I didn't want to wake you up, so I just climbed in bed, hoping that would be enough to comfort you," Justin explained, blushing by his actions.

"Did it work?" Brian asked, intrigued by the blush spreading across Justin's face.

"You seemed to calm down. What were you dreaming about? Do you remember?" Justin asked, tentatively.

"No, I don't remember," Brian denied, getting out of bed. He wasn't prepared for the feelings he was experiencing being so close to the blond. He needed to get away and put some space between them. "I'm going to take a shower."

As Justin watched Brian walk away, he could see the tension in the older man's shoulders. He wished there was something he could do to ease his stress, but since he wasn't really sure what the cause was, he didn't know how to help. When he heard the water start running, he climbed out of bed and headed to the kitchen to find something for breakfast. There wasn't much there, but he did manage to find enough ingredients to throw together some French Toast. That was his mother's specialty so he knew he would be able to handle that. By the time Brian appeared from the bedroom, Justin had breakfast on the table.

"Justin, I told you that you didn't have to cook for me. I can make breakfast, you know," Brian said with a smile. He was touched by the way Justin felt the need to feed him.

"I'm sure you can, although, I know you don't do it that often," Justin replied as he sat down to eat.

Brian sat down and looked at Justin before answering. "Oh yeah? And how do you know that?"

"Because there's hardly any food in your kitchen. The sign of a stocked kitchen is the sign of a good cook. You don't have one, so I assume you aren't the other," Justin chuckled.

Brian watched Justin laugh at his own joke and quietly mumbled, "little shit," before laughing himself.

They ate their meal in a comfortable silence, occasionally filling the void with conversation about the weather. After they finished, Brian insisted Justin go shower while he did the clean up. He told them they had an errand to run, piquing Justin's curiosity. He showered quickly and was ready to go in under twenty minutes.

Once they were in the jeep, Justin asked where they were going.

"I told you, I have an errand to run. It's nothing exciting. Just something that was recently brought to my attention," Brian replied, not sharing anything else.

Justin sat back, waiting to see where they were going and busted out laughing when they pulled into the parking lot of a supermarket.

"Brian," Justin said between giggles. "I didn't mean you had to race out to the store. What you have in the loft is fine."

"Justin, I don't have anything in the loft, remember? You used up the last of the food on breakfast," Brian pointed out.

"I know. I was just trying to be nice," Justin replied, giggling once again.

"Get out of the car, Justin," Brian said, trying to sound stern.

"Yes sir, Dr. Kinney," Justin teased, climbing out of the jeep.

'What am I going to do with him?' Brian thought to himself, although he was secretly pleased to see Justin appear happy. It was a nice change from the boy who was brought into the hospital less than two weeks ago.

They walked through the store filling the cart with everything that Brian needed and quite a few things that he didn't. Justin had picked out a few ingredients that were needed to make the couple of meals he knew and threw in a couple packages of cookies for his late night sugar cravings. They were almost up to the check out line when Justin froze, his face completely pale.

"Justin? What is it?" Brian asked, noticing Justin's change in appearance.

Before he had a chance to respond, he saw recognition cross his mother's face.

"Justin? Honey, what are you doing here? I thought you were..." Jennifer Taylor stopped mid-sentence when she noticed the man standing beside her son.

Brian knew he should have kept his mouth shut. It was obvious by looking at the woman that she was Justin's mother. It wasn't his place to interfere, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"You thought he was what? Still sitting alone in the hospital? Wishing he had finished the job he'd started? Or maybe you figured that by now he would be sleeping on the streets?" He could hear the harshness of his voice, but at that moment he didn't care.

"It's okay, Brian," Justin said softly, laying a gentle hand on Brian's arm before turning to his mother. "What do you want, Mother?" There was no mistaking the icy tone of his voice.

"You didn't answer me, Honey? What are you doing here with this...man?" Jennifer asked again, glancing coldly at the person next to him.

"I don't think that's any of your business anymore. You and Dad threw me out, remember? I'm not your concern anymore," Justin replied softly.

"Justin, you know how your father is. Just give him a little time and he will come around," Jennifer explained.

"Well, what do you expect me to do in the mean time? Live on the streets? Eat out of the garbage? I had nowhere to go and no money when I was released from the hospital. If it wasn't for Brian..." Justin didn't finish his thoughts. He knew exactly where he would be if it wasn't for Brian.

"Well, if you just told your father that you weren't, you know, gay, I'm sure you could come back home right now." Jennifer didn't like having this conversation in front of a stranger, but she could tell Justin wasn't going to leave his side.

"But I am gay, Mother, and refuse to pretend to be someone I'm not. I've been hiding myself long enough, and I'm not going to do it anymore!" Justin exclaimed, trying hard to hold back his tears.

"Justin, let's go," Brian said, sensing that Justin was about to lose it.

"Well, let me at least give you some money," Jennifer replied, ignoring Brian's comment. She was reaching in her bag for her checkbook when she heard Brian address her.

"Don't bother, Mrs. Taylor. Justin doesn't need your money. What he needed was his mother's support, but since you can't give him that there's nothing left to say. Come on, Justin. Let's pay for our food and head home." Brian stressed the word home to make his point before leading Justin away.

Justin was trying his best to hold it together as he followed Brian to the check out. He couldn't believe he had to run into his mother. He had been enjoying his morning with Brian up until that moment. He could here the older man speaking to him but didn't hear what he had said.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you were okay. I'm sorry about that, Justin. I should have kept my mouth shut. I guess that wasn't very professional of me," Brian replied, still appalled by his behavior.

"Maybe not, but it was very sweet. Thank you, Brian. No one's ever stood up for me before, but why didn't you take her money? It could have helped you to pay for the food."

"We don't need her money, Justin. I can afford to feed you on my salary," Brian replied with a small smile.

"I guess, but what about when Monday comes? I'm still going to have nowhere to go. Maybe I should call..."

"Don't even think about it! Melanie and I will figure something out. Besides, you're welcome to stay at the loft for as long as you need to," Brian assured him.

Justin couldn't believe the generosity of this man. His duty to him had been over as soon as he signed the release papers, yet he was still trying to help him in anyway he could. Justin had a sinking suspicion that it had to do with losing his friend all those years ago, but he couldn't worry about that. Right now, all he could think about was that he was possibly going to get a chance to stay at the loft past the weekend. That thought alone managed to erase the pain he felt at his mother's rejection.

"Thanks, Brian. I don't know what I would have done without you," Justin admitted.

"It's nothing. I do what I can to help out my patients if they need it," Brian said, uncomfortable with Justin's gratitude. He knew from the beginning that Justin was more than a patient, but he wasn't about to admit it to anyone, especially himself.

"Right, Brian," Justin replied, letting Brian know with his tone that he knew the man was full of shit.


End of part 6
2/9/04

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