Meant To Be

Chapter 13

Michael was sitting alone in his apartment thinking about all that had happened in the last month. After his encounter with Brian and Justin at the diner everything had changed. His friendship with Ted and Emmett seemed strained a bit at first, even though, they still went out together. Both men thought that Michael was acting like a spoiled child who hadn’t gotten his own way, but things were finally starting to get back to normal between them. Even his mother was mad once she realized what was going on between her boys. She had said that Brian deserved to be happy and if he had that with Justin, it was nobody’s business. It took awhile, but Michael was starting to see that he was wrong in reacting the way he did. Brian did deserve to be happy. Michael had always hoped that Brian would find that happiness with him, but he knew better now. He found it with Justin and Michael had to learn to be happy for him. The only problem was that he was afraid that it was too late. Brian hadn’t spoken to him since that morning in the diner. He heard that Justin had eventually moved into the loft, but neither one of them were ever seen in Babylon or Woody’s since nor did they very rarely frequent the diner anymore.

Michael knew what he needed to do to make things right. He needed to apologize for what he said that day. Michael missed his best friend so much and if he was honest with himself, he missed Justin, too. He really liked the boy but he was just so jealous he couldn’t see past it. Not only did Justin not return his feelings, but he managed to break down the walls that Brian Kinney lived behind and take what Michael had always wanted. It took some time for Michael to accept things the way they were, but he wanted his friends back and was willing to put everything behind him and just be happy for them. All he had to do was get them both to give him a chance and he knew the best way to do that. He reached for the phone and was startled to here Justin’s voice on the answering machine.

“Hey, you have reached Brian and Justin’s place. We can’t take your call at the moment. Please leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Have a great day!” the voice sang into Michael’s ear.

“Uh…hi. It’s Michael. I wanted to…shit, Justin are you there? I wanted to talk to you…” He stuttered into the phone.

Justin was surprised. Not only by Michael calling the loft after all this time, but because he was calling for him. He reached for the phone without thinking about the reason for the call. His curiosity got the best of him. “Michael, I’m here.” he said without much enthusiasm.

“Oh, Justin. You are there. I…uh…wanted to talk to you. Could you come over to the apartment? There are a few things I want to say and I would rather say them face to face.” Michael explained, hoping to persuade the young man to come over.

“I don’t know, Michael. The things you said…” He tried to reply before being cut off by Michael’s voice.

“Please? Once I say what I have to, you can leave and I’ll never bother you again. I promise.” Michael begged.

“Alright. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” Justin replied before disconnecting the call. He thought about calling Brian at work and telling him of his plans, but decided against it. The friendship between the two men ended on the day Michael confronted them in the diner and Justin wanted to make things right. He felt bad for coming between them and was willing to do whatever it took to bring them back together. He would go talk to Michael and see what it was that he wanted first. He knew if he called Brian it would just upset him and he would tell Justin not to go. He would just wait to see what happened. Luckily, he had driven Brian to work and kept the jeep to run errands with so he had transportation for the day. He walked out of the loft, being sure to set the alarm, and headed over to Michael’s with mixed emotions. By the time he knocked on the door, he was so nervous he was shaking, but pushed his thoughts away when Michael opened the door.

“Thanks for coming. I appreciate it. Come in.” Michael greeted him. He was nervous as hell and couldn’t seem to relax. This meeting was important, that much he knew. If he couldn’t get Justin to forgive him, there was no way he could fix things with Brian and as much as he wanted to repair his friendship with Justin, Brian was more important. After being friends for 15 years, Michael had missed his friend more then he ever thought possible. It took the last month to make Michael realize that he needed to move on from his dreams of being with Brian. The only thing that mattered was their friendship and Michael would do anything to salvage that.

“What’s up, Michael? Why did you want to see me?” Justin asked, still very curious as to what was going on. He sat down on the couch and waited for the older man to explain.

“Justin, I owe you an apology. I was wrong treating you the way I did. The only explanation I have is that I was jealous. I really liked you and was hurt when you said you just wanted to be friends, but I got over that. I knew you were young and figured you didn’t want to be tied down. But then when I saw you with Brian, I just lost it. I realized that it wasn’t that you didn’t want to be tied down, you just didn’t want to be tied down with me. I guess I kind of freaked out a little. The night I found you and Brian together, I told myself that it didn’t mean anything. That Brian was just using you as a trick, even though he said that you were more. Brian always told everyone that he didn’t believe in love, so I just figured he didn’t really mean what he was saying. I was shocked when he admitted he loved you in the diner the next morning. I am sorry for what I said. I was just so mixed up and when that happens I tend to let my mouth run away from me. Please say you forgive me. I really like you and I want to be friends again.” Michael stated, hoping he got through to the blond. He was shaking in anticipation of what was to come.

“What else, Michael? What is it you are not telling me? I don’t believe for a minute that you reacted the way you did because I left you and went to Brian. If you want us to be friends, you need to be honest with me.” Justin replied, knowing just what it was that Michael wasn’t saying. After the incident in the diner, Emmett had contacted Justin wanting to defend his friend even though he was unhappy with the way Michael was acting. Emmett filled Justin in on Michael’s long standing crush on Brian. He explained that even though Michael knew that Brian would never return the feelings, it was still hard for the man to see his best friend with someone else. Justin had instantly understood why Michael reacted the way he did and tried to talk to Brian about it, but it was useless. Brian refused to make peace with Michael, claiming that as long as he had Justin he had everything he needed. This was his chance to make things right between the friends, but Justin wanted to hear what Michael had to say before he went any further. He didn’t want to mend fences just to have Michael throw a tantrum again. He needed to know that Brian was off limits for good now.

“I…well…look Justin. I’ll be honest with you. I wasn’t only jealous because you dumped me for Brian. I love Brian. I have always loved Brian, and for the last 15 years I have listened to him go on and on about how he doesn’t believe in love and he never does the same trick twice. It was hard for me because I wanted him to love me back. I know I’m his best friend and he would do anything for me, but I wanted more. About 6 months ago, I finally came to realize that things were never going to change. He was never going to return the feelings I had for him. It was time for me to move on. The next thing I know, he falls for some kid he just met, someone I was trying to have a relationship with. I was hurt. As long as he didn’t believe in love, I could tell myself that it wasn’t me. That he wasn’t rejecting me, he was rejecting love in general. When he admitted to feeling something for you, I had to face the fact that he was never going to wake up one day and realize that he loved me. It hurt so much to know that we would never have a chance because as long as he didn’t believe in love, there was still hope. I know now that I was fooling myself. His beliefs have nothing to do with us being apart. He loves me completely, but as his best friend, not as a lover. I have spent the last month trying to come to terms with that, and I have. I would rather have him as my best friend then not have him in my life at all. I know that he loves you and I can finally be happy that he found someone important enough to open up. I just hope it isn’t too late.” Michael said, as he wiped a stray tear from his cheek. He didn’t realize how much he meant what he was saying until he actually heard himself say the words out loud. As long as Brian was a part of his life, he would be happy. Looking over at Justin, he was surprised to see the boy smiling at him.

“Come on Mikey, let’s get out of here.” Justin said, as he stood up and walked to the door. Once he heard Michael pour out his heart, he knew that he would forgive him. If anyone could understand what it was like to love Brian Kinney, Justin could, and he couldn’t hold it against Michael. He would keep an eye on him awhile, but he didn’t feel threatened by the man. He only felt sadness for the way he must have been suffering for all these years, unable to be with the man he loved. Justin couldn’t imagine how he would feel if Brian didn’t love him. But he did, and Justin had no doubt in his mind that Brian would always love him. It was time for Justin to give Brian the one thing that was missing in his life. His best friend.

“Where are we going?” Michael asked, confused by Justin’s reaction to his confession.

“We are going to the loft. Brian should be home for dinner soon and there is more then enough for three.” Justin explained with a smile on his face.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Brian isn’t going to be happy to come home from work and see me there.” Michael pointed out. He didn’t want to make things worse by upsetting Brian. He figured that if he made up with Justin, it would bring him one step closer to Brian. He didn’t want to rush things and try to force himself on his friend.

“I’m sure. Trust me. Brian has missed you, too. I can see it in his eyes every time you name is mentioned. It will be okay, I promise.” Justin reassured Michael, as he led the older man out of the apartment.

After work, Cynthia dropped Brian off at the loft since he had given the jeep to Justin for the day. He was thrilled to be home and jumped into the elevator, anxious to get upstairs. When the elevator stopped at his floor, Brian was never so happy to see his front door. He had a hell of a day and all he wanted to do was take his partner to bed and make it all go away. He still couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to admit his feelings where the blond was concerned. He loved the boy more then he thought possible and when he gave Justin a key to the loft for his eighteenth birthday, asking him to move in, Brian didn’t have a doubt in his mind that it was forever. As he slid the door open, he was surprised to hear two voices, laughing and talking, coming from the kitchen. So much for his plans to take his blond to bed. He walked into the kitchen and was even more surprised to see Mikey sitting at the counter, lost in conversation. He felt a pang of regret when he looked at the man and began to realize how much he had missed his best friend in the last month. Walking over as if nothing was amiss, he came up behind Justin and kissed his neck in greeting.

“Hey sweetie, you’re finally home. I missed you!” Justin exclaimed, as he spun around in his lover’s arms to give him a welcome kiss. His mind immediately went back to their dinner guest and he pulled back to try to judge Brian’s reaction. “Mikey and I had a long talk today and we realized how silly we all have been lately. It’s time to put the past behind us and move on to the future. I invited him for dinner.” Justin explained as he saw a light in Brian’s eyes that he hadn’t seen in awhile. He knew then that he had made the right decision.

“Hey Brian. I…uh…hope you don’t mind. Justin suggested that I come for dinner, but if you would rather I leave, I’ll understand.” Michael said, suddenly wondering if dropping this on Brian like they did was a good idea. As his friend approached, Michael wanted to run away but stayed where he was waiting for his reaction. He was shocked when Brian reached over and kissed him, just like old times, and he knew that they would be okay. He would have to thank Justin for bringing his best friend back to him.

“Hey Mikey. Let me go take a quick shower and then we can catch up during dinner. It’s been a long time.” Brian said with a reassuring smile. He turned back to face his lover and said a silent thank you which the blond seemed to understand. He had his best friend and his lover together for the first time and Brian knew that everything was going to be okay.


5 years later…

Brian and Justin were lounging on the beach in Puerto Rico after an all morning fuck fest. They had booked a room at the Westin to celebrate their fifth year together and had spent the first three days locked in their room, ordering room service. Since the hotel had a private beach, used only for guests of the hotel, they were all alone. Brian decided to take the time to say what he had been wanting to say since their plane had landed on the beautiful island. He sat up on the blanket they were sharing and looked into the blue eyes staring up at him.

“Justin, there is something I have been wanting to say to you since we got here. Do me a favor and keep that big, beautiful mouth of yours shut until I finish, okay?” Brian asked, amused by the look on Justin’s face. They boy was obviously both offended and enamored by Brian’s words.

“Okay.” Justin said with his sunshine smile in place.

“Justin, you know the person I used to be. I never believed in love. I was convinced that it was all a lie people used to get what they wanted, but you changed that for me. In the last five years, you have made me see that I could love someone with all my heart. I guess I just spent most of my life waiting for you to join me. I want to thank you for giving me more love and happiness then I ever thought possible. I know without a doubt that you are my soul mate and I want to spend the rest of my life being your partner and your friend. The world may not be ready for gay marriages yet, maybe it never will be. That’s why, today on this beach, I am ready to promise you till death do us part…if you’ll have me.” Brian said as he pulled a set of matching rings out of his pocket. They were nothing fancy, just simple gold bands to show their commitment to each other, but it was something he knew would make Justin happy and that was all that was important to him, making his partner as happy as he had made him. He saw tears in the younger man’s eyes as he placed the ring on his finger.

“Oh my God, Brian. I love you more then anything else in my life. If I’ll have you? You have got to be kidding! Of course, I’ll have you.” Justin exclaimed as he placed the other ring on Brian’s finger. The two men came together in a passionate kiss, knowing that no matter what happened down the road, they would always be there for each other. They were just meant to be.


The End
7/29/03

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