Love Will Find a Way

Chapter 7

Brian and Justin spent the weekend in bed, with Brian leaving only to meet the boys for breakfast as promised on Saturday morning. They'd made a pact to keep the weekend light and easy, using the time to just enjoy themselves. By the time Brian's plane took off on Sunday night, both men were relaxed and happy with their current situation. Things settled into a nice routine after that. Both Brian and Justin continued on with their lives, keeping in touch with daily emails and weekly phone calls.

Before Brian knew it, it was the Sunday before Thanksgiving. He had agreed to fly back for the holidays on Wednesday and couldn't wait to see Justin. It had been almost a month since the last time they saw each other and Brian was startled to realize that in that time he had only tricked once. His life had definitely changed since his move and he couldn't help but wonder if he was finally ready to grow up. Cringing at the thought, he reached for the phone, ready for his weekly phone call to Justin.

"Hello?" Vic answered breathlessly.

"Hey Vic, how's it going? Is Justin there?"

"Oh, Brian...uh...Justin's...uh..." Vic stammered.

"Vic? What's wrong? Is Justin alright?" Brian asked cautiously.

"He will be," Vic replied hesitantly.

"What the fuck do you mean he will be? What happened?" Brian prodded.

"There was a small accident and Justin got hurt. But he's going to be okay, Brian. I swear," Vic assured him.

"An accident? What the fuck happened?" Brian could feel his heart pounding anxiously as he waited to hear what had happened to Justin.

"Alright, Brian, just calm down. I'll tell you but you have to promise not to get all worked up. Justin was walking home from work Friday night and he was hit by a car," Vic admitted quietly.

"What!"

"Brian, he's going to be okay. He has a bump on the head and a broken arm, that's all. He should be released tomorrow."

"He's still in the hospital? Why? And why the fuck didn't someone call me?" Brian was pacing the loft, feeling like a caged animal.

"Justin didn't want you to worry, so he made us promise not to call you. The doctor just wanted to keep him a few days for observation since this was his second concussion. He really is okay, Brian. He planned on calling you tomorrow when he got home and telling you himself," Vic said, trying to calm Brian down.

"Fuck that! I'm going to be on the next flight out of here. Do me a favor and don't tell our little Sunshine I'm coming. I want it to be a surprise," Brian replied sarcastically.

"Brian, you don’t have to..." Vic tried to tell Brian he didn't have to rush, but the line was dead. "Oh, Justin. You are in deep shit now," he chuckled to himself.

It only took Brian an hour to get on a flight out of LAX. American Airways was one of his best accounts, and after placing a call to the CEO claiming a family emergency he rushed to the airport and was in route by 10:30 am. His plane touched down at 7:30 pm, eastern standard time and he headed straight to the hospital, wanting to arrive before visiting hours were over. After a brief stop at the front desk to get Justin's room number, he found the room and walked inside, startled by what he saw.

Justin was curled up on his side, sound asleep. His beautiful face was marred by a bruise that cover the whole right side. He had a small bandage covering the area just above his left eye, and his arm was covered by a cast that ran from just above his left elbow to his hand. Brian quietly dropped his overnight bag by the door and approached the bed. He reached out a hand and gently caressed the bruise, wanting to take away the pain that Justin had experienced. He saw Justin's eyes flutter open and widen in confusion.

"Brian?"

"Hey Sunshine. I believe you've been keeping something from me," Brian replied with a smile.

"How did you find out I was here?" Justin asked, struggling to sit up and get his bearings.

"I called Debbie's to talk to you and Vic told me. He was trying to keep your secret, but I could tell he was hiding something from me. The question is why was it a secret? Why didn't you call me right away?" The whole time Brian was trying to get here, all he could think about was getting to Justin to wring his neck. Now that he was here though, the anger had left and he was overcome with a sense of relief that Justin was indeed okay. A little banged up; but okay.

"I didn't want to bother you, Brian. You told me you had to work all weekend, finishing up some projects so you could take the four day weekend for the holiday. It's not like I'm dying or anything. It's just a broken arm," Justin explained casually.

"Justin, you were hit by a car! I should have been called immediately!" Brian exclaimed, feeling his anger return at Justin's cavalier attitude.

"The car wasn't even going that fast," Justin blurted out before realizing how stupid he sounded.

Brian looked at Justin incredulously. "Tell me you did not just fucking say that! You could have been fucking killed you little twat! Then what? Would I have even been invited to the funeral?"

"Brian," Justin tried to say something to calm him down, but he was interrupted when the nurse walked in.

"What's going on in here? I can hear screaming from down the hall," she asked, eyeing Brian with a disapproving look.

"I'm sorry. My friend here just came in from out of town and he was a little shaken up to find out about the accident. We'll keep it down, I promise," Justin replied, looking at Brian who was still fuming.

"Visiting hours are over in ten minutes, sir. Why don't you say goodbye now and save the yelling for when poor Justin is home trying to recover," the nurse suggested sarcastically.

Brian just gave her his evil glare and waited for her to leave. Once she was gone, Brian turned back to Justin.

"You should have called me," he said softly.

"I'm sorry, Brian. I really didn't want to bother you, and besides I'm fine. A couple of bruises and a broken arm. No big deal," Justin assured him.

"Well, the next time something like this happens, why don't you let me decide if it's a big deal or not?"

"Okay, I promise. Now, what are you doing here? I'm sure Vic told you that I was going to be alright. You didn't need to fly across the country to yell at me for not calling. You could have just done that on the phone," Justin teased. Now that the argument was over, he was touched that Brian had raced to his bedside. Ever since he regained consciousness, Brian had been all that he was able thinking about.

"I just needed to see for myself that you were okay. Now that I know, I better get out of here before Nurse Ratchet comes back and throws me out," Brian teased.

"Are you still coming back on Wednesday?"

"No, Justin. I'm staying here. What's the point of flying back to LA for a couple of days? I took some personal time. You're stuck with me until Sunday," Brian sighed dramatically.

"Damn, and I have that big orgy to go to tomorrow night," Justin said, trying to sound serious.

"Sounds good to me," Brian retorted with a laugh.

"Sorry, there's an age restriction. Old men aren't allowed," Justin teased.

"I'll show you old man," Brian replied, leaning in and kissing Justin deeply. They continued the kiss for a few moments, until they heard someone clearing their throat from the doorway. Looking back, Brian noticed Nurse Ratchet shooting daggers at him.

"I better get out of here. I'll be back in the morning to take you home," Brian said before turning and walking out the door, giving the nurse an evil smile on his way. Justin couldn't help but laugh at their exchange.

When Brian got to Debbie's, he was relieved to find Vic home alone.

"Brian! I see you got a flight. Have you seen Justin yet?" Vic asked as soon as Brian walked through the door.

"The hospital was my first stop. This is my second. Would you care to tell me why you didn't call me as soon as Justin was hurt? And don't give me any of that shit about Justin telling you not to."

"Brian, Justin is a grown man. He's old enough to make his own decisions and he chose to keep this from you. We had to respect his wishes, whether we agreed with them or not," Vic explained.

"That's bullshit, Vic! I had a right to know," Brian replied, feeling his anger begin to build again.

"No you didn't, asshole!" Debbie exclaimed from the doorway, hiding her surprise to finding Brian in her living room.

Brian cringed when he heard the sound of Debbie's voice. She was the last person he wanted to talk to at the moment. "Oh yeah? And why is that?"

"Brian, you live thousands of miles away. You and Justin aren't together anymore aside from a few emails and a phone call a week. You moved away and moved on with your life, and it's time Justin did the same," Debbie explained more gently.

"What? I thought you were okay with the way things were between Justin and I?"

"I was...until I saw how scared Justin was when he was hurt. Until I heard him calling out your name that first night in the hospital. He needs someone who's going to be there for him when he needs them. You can't do that from LA. You need to let him go so he can grieve and move on, Brian." Debbie hoped she was doing the right thing. She had been thinking about her boys since the accident and realized that someone needed to step in and do something, otherwise they would continue to carry on their cross country affair with neither of them being truly happy.

"That's bullshit, Deb! As soon as I found out Justin was hurt, I hopped the first flight I could get to be here," Brian pointed out.

"Yes, you did, but what about the next time? Can you promise Justin that you will always be here for him? Can you be who Justin needs you to be?"

"And what is that?" Brian barked.

"A partner who loves him?"

Brian looked at Debbie and knew she was right. Justin did need someone he could count on. Someone who would be there for him at a moments notice. Unfortunately, his life was now in LA and Justin's was in Pittsburgh. "Fuck this!" Brian called out, heading out the door.

He drove around town, thinking about how he had gotten to where he was. If he had just waited after the whole Ethan mess, things would be different. He would still be here in the Pitts, he would still have his loft, and none of this would be an issue. He thought back to his old motto. No regrets. Oh how he wished he could still live by those words. He drove to his hotel and told the front desk he arrived a few days early. They were able to change his reservations and get him in his room. Once inside, he took shower and lay I bed, thinking about everything that happened since he woke up that morning. He knew he needed to do something to fix the situation, but he wasn't sure what that was. He finally drifted off to sleep around 3:00 am knowing that his morning wake up call wasn't going to be pleasant.

Justin was all dressed and waiting for Brian when his mother arrived. He never told her about what was going on with him and Brian, but he knew it was time to come clean.

"Hey sweetheart. All ready to go?" Jennifer asked.

"Uh, Mom? I think we need to talk. I don't need a ride back to Debbie's this morning. Brian is picking me up," he said, hesitantly.

"Brian? I thought he moved to LA? Why would he be here, picking you up?" She asked in confusion.

"He did move to LA, but when he heard about the accident he flew back here to see me."

"Oh...well that's nice sweetie, but he can go home now. You're going to be just fine and there's no reason for him to stay now."

"Mom, we've been seeing each other," Justin said softly, avoiding her gaze.

"You've been seeing Brian? Since when?"

"Well, it started out as emails a couple of months ago, but we've been getting closer everyday. I've even been out to LA to see him. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until I knew where things stood between us. The only people who know are Debbie and Vic, and only because it was too hard to keep it from them while living in their house," Justin explained.

"Oh, I see," Jennifer replied quietly. "And where do things stand?"

"I'm still not sure. I know he cares about me. That was obvious yesterday when he raced home to make sure I was okay. But we live on opposite sides of the country. I don't know how things are going to work out. I just know that I'm happier knowing that Brian is still a part of my life. I love him, Mom. I need to be with him, even if it's only for an occasional weekend here and there. Please don't give me a hard time about this. He's here till Sunday and I want to make the most of it," Justin pleaded.

Before Jennifer had a chance to respond, Brian walked in. He looked over at her and forced a smile. "Hello Jennifer."

"Hello, Brian. It's good to see you again," she replied, trying to sound sincere.

"You, too," Brian mumbled, before turning his attention towards Justin. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah. The doctor was already in and signed my discharge papers. I'm free to leave," Justin said cheerfully, trying to ease the tension in the room.

"Well, I guess I'll just go to work then," Jennifer said, leaning in to kiss Justin's cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will, Mom. Thanks."

Once Jennifer was out the door, Brian gave Justin a quick kiss. "How do you feel?"

"Pretty good. The doctor wrote me a prescription for pain killers in case the pain gets too bad, but so far I've been alright. All I want to do now is get out of here," Justin admitted. He stood up, but felt a little lightheaded and had to grab Brian's arm.

"Easy Justin. Are you sure you're okay? Maybe we should get the doctor and have him check you out again," Brian suggested.

"I'm fine. Now get me out of here."

It took a few minutes for Justin to assure Brian that he was okay, and then they were on their way. Justin was a little disappointed to realize that they were headed back to Deb's. He was hoping to stay with Brian while he was in town. Once he got home, Brian led him upstairs and helped him get changed into sweats before ordering him to take a nap.

"Brian, I'm alright. You don't have to treat me like a baby."

"Humor me, would you? Just lay down for a little while. You were hit by a car a couple days ago. You need to rest."

"Will you lay here with me?" Justin asked, trying not to sound like the baby he claimed not to be.

"If I lay down with you, I don't think you're going to get the rest you need," Brian replied with a smirk.

Justin blushed at Brian's words, but wasn't deterred. He eventually got his wish and they laid together in Justin's small bed and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Brian awoke a little while later, but stayed still watching Justin sleep. His mind drifted back to the things that Debbie had said the night before. Was he able to be the person Justin needed? He knew he had some serious thinking to do before he made any decisions and decided to push it all away until he got back home. If this was going to end up being his last days with Justin, he wanted to make the most of it. Cradling Justin in his arms, he drifted back off to sleep refusing to think of what it would feel like to say good bye.

For the rest of the week, Brian and Justin spent as much time together as humanly possible. They were either at Deb's or at Brian's hotel just enjoying being together. Every time Brian's thoughts turned towards what his plans were going to be, he pushed them away, refusing to dwell on the future. They still managed to keep their relationship, such as it was, a secret from the gang, although it wasn't easy during Thanksgiving dinner. By Thursday they were used to touching each other often and had to hold back while everyone was around. If anyone noticed something between them , they never mentioned it, which was okay with Brian. On their last night together, they agreed to stay at the hotel so they could spend the night alone without any interruptions. After their second round of fucking, they were laying together when Justin voiced his concerns.

"Brian, is everything alright? All week long you've seemed to be distracted."

"I've just been thinking about all the work I have waiting for me when I get back," Brian replied, figuring that it wasn't completely a lie. He did have a lot to do when he got home.

"I'm sorry I made you come here early and miss work. That's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you what happened," Justin said, wondering if Brian's excuse was the real reason for his moods.

"It's okay, Justin. I'll just work extra hours when I get back to catch up. It's no big deal."

Justin let the subject drop, not wanting to push too hard and ruin their last night together. "When will I see you again?"

"I'm not sure. With Christmas just around the corner, I'm going to be pretty busy for awhile. We'll have to see how things go."

"Well you're coming home for Christmas, right?"

"I don't know," Brian replied quietly. He planned on coming back, but now he wasn't so sure. He needed to work out what was going on in his head before he made any decisions. Of course Justin wasn't happy with his answer.

"What do you mean, you don't know? Brian, it's Christmas. You have to come home for Christmas!"

"Justin, LA is my home. I don't belong here anymore. I'm just a visitor in the Pitts now," Brian tried to explain.

"That's not true! Your friends and family are here. Your son is here," Justin said before adding, "I'm here."

"Look Justin, things are complicated right now. I have a life in California. I can't just drop everything every time someone what's me back here," Brian replied, wondering why it appeared as if he was trying to hurt Justin.

Justin looked at Brian and immediately knew what was happening. He was being pushed away again. For whatever reason, Brian was trying to tell Justin to take a hike and he refused to beg anymore. In the last couple of months, Justin was living in blissful ignorance, trying to tell himself that things would work out. That there was a way for them to be together even though they were so far apart. He was fooling himself, and now Brian was trying to set him straight. Without saying a word, Justin got up and began getting dressed.

"What are you doing?" Brian asked, a strange fear gripping his heart.

"I'm going home. You go on back to your life. You just can't drop everything every time someone wants you here," Justin replied, heading towards the door.

"Justin,"

"Good bye, Brian." Justin left before the tears began to roll down his face. He quickly made his way to the elevator and slipped inside, trying to hold it together. All he wanted to do was make it home and to his room before he gave in to the pain and mourned the loss of Brian once again.

Brian watched Justin walk out and had to use all his strength to keep from running after him. He needed time to figure out what to do next and he refused to be pushed into something he wasn't sure he was ready for. He called down to the front desk and told them he would be checking out early. He figured he would head to the airport and go on stand by, hoping that a flight would open up so he could get home. Twelve hours later, he walked into his loft, feeling as if he hadn't slept in weeks. All he wanted to do was go to bed, but he sat down at his computer and checked his email, hoping to find one from Justin. He wasn't surprised to find nothing there. He wanted to call Justin and see if he was okay, but knew it was better if he didn't. Instead he decided to send him an email trying to explain things a bit.


To: jtaylor@pitts.net
From: bkinney@aol.com
Subject: Checking in
Date: November 27, 2003


Justin,

I guess things got pretty fucked up, huh? I wish you didn't run out last night. I didn't want to upset you. I just wanted you to see that the situation for what it was. Impossible. I know we agreed to see what happened, but how realistic is that with 3000 miles between us? You have your life there, and I have mine here. It's the way things are and there's nothing that we can do to change it right now. You are young. You should be going out and fucking lots of hot guys without having to rush to your email, waiting for something from me. I will be back in the Pitts as soon as I can and I hope that by then you have forgiven me for being the asshole that I am. Take care of yourself.


Brian


Once he sent the email, Brian headed to the shower and then crashed on the bed, sleeping until the alarm went off the following morning.

Justin cried himself to sleep after his confrontation with Brian. His heart was broken and he didn't have the desire to talk to anyone. He hid in his room all day on Sunday, claiming that he was just tired from being with Brian all week. He knew that Debbie and Vic didn't believe him, but they left him alone and that was all that mattered. On Monday morning, he waited until the house was empty before going down stairs to check his email. When he saw something waiting for him from Brian, he took a deep breath and deleted it without opening it. Brian was a part of his past now, and he needed to concentrate on his future. He had skipped his early morning class, but got ready and made it to school for the afternoon ones. Once they were over, he headed back to his room to be alone. With his arm in a cast, working at the diner was not an option. He sat alone in the dark for most of the night and thought about everything that had happened since he and Brian began their "friendship" back in September. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t figure out what had happened to change Brian's mind about the two of them, but it didn't really matter anymore. It was time to put Brian behind him and get on with his life.

Brian had sent Justin a couple more emails in the following weeks, but they all went unanswered. Even the few times he tried to reach him by phone, he was always told that he wasn't home. It appeared that he had gotten what he wanted. Justin had moved on with his life. The only problem was that Brian had not. He was distracted at work, avoided going home to an empty loft every night, and hadn't been out to the clubs since he got back. A week before Christmas, Brian knew that he had some decisions to make. He couldn't go on like he had been, just getting by day to day. He locked himself in his loft with a bottle of beam and thought about what it was that he wanted. Visions of Justin invaded his head until he was forced to admit the truth. He wanted Justin. He wanted to come home to the blond every night and wake up next to him every morning. He wanted to call him during his day, just to hear his voice. It finally sunk in at that moment. He loved Justin. He loved him and wanted him to be there with him. Life as he had known it was gone and he needed to be with Justin more than he needed anything else. With that revelation in mind, he began to make plans for the holidays. He would be flying back to Pittsburgh in a few days, hoping to make everything right again. Brian Kinney had definitely grown up.

Justin was sitting in the living room on Christmas Eve, waiting for everyone to show up. It had been almost a month since he had last seen or talked to Brian. He deleted all of his emails without reading them and refused to talk to him if he called, having Debbie and Vic lie and say he was out. He tried to move on, but it wasn't as easy as he hoped it would be. He kept telling himself that it was because of the holidays and that once they were behind him everything would be okay, but he was beginning to wonder if he was just fooling himself. Once the gang arrived, he put on his happy face and shared in the laughter that was going on throughout the room. Dinner was nice and everyone walked away from the table stuffed, but happy. They were all sitting around talking about all the New Years resolutions they planned to make when Brian walked through the front door. Justin's heart stopped at the sight of him.

"Brian! What are you doing here?" Debbie asked in surprise.

"You didn't think I was going to miss out on a Novotny Christmas, did you?" Brian replied with a nervous smile. He tried to avoid looking at Justin directly, which wasn't too hard since everybody jumped up to greet him. After all the hugs and kisses were over, Brian finally made eye contact with Justin.

"Hey, Brian," Justin said, trying to keep his emotions out of his voice.

"Hey, Justin."

"I'd better go get started on cleaning up the kitchen," Justin replied to no one in particular.

"Wait!" Brian exclaimed. "I...uh...have something for you first."

Brian handed a large manila envelope to Justin, ignoring the curious stares he was receiving from everyone. Only Debbie, Vic, and Jennifer knew that they had been in contact regularly up until Thanksgiving and he could hear the quiet whispers going around the room.

Justin took the envelope hesitantly with a shaking hand. He looked into Brian's eyes, before opening the envelope and pulling out it's contents. There were admission forms inside for an art school in LA. Not wanting to jump to conclusions, he looked back up at Brian with tears threatening to fall.

"It's not PIFA, but it's the best in the city," Brian replied softly.

"Are you sure?" Justin asked, knowing that Brian would understand the meaning behind the question.

"Yes," Brian whispered.

Justin squealed and jumped into Brian's arms, kissing him deeply and the tears finally broke free and rolled down his face.

"Hey, what's going on?" Michael asked, confused by the scene before him.

Brian pulled back and looked his friend in the eye. "Justin is moving to LA. It appears that the little twat broke down all my walls after all."

"But you two aren't together anymore. He cheated on you and left you for the fiddler?" Michael whined, before turning to look at Justin. "How did you manage to pull this off?" He barked angrily.

"Well, Mikey," Justin began with a smile. "If you believe in it strong enough, love will find a way."

Brian smiled at Justin's response and kissed him again, knowing that he just received the best Christmas present ever. His Sunshine was back in his arms, right where he belonged.


The End
3/3/04

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