Healing the Heart

Chapter 3

Brian and Justin arrived at Daphne's house shortly after 1:00. Justin got out of the jeep and raced up the driveway only to be greeted by a very pretty and equally excited girl throwing her arms around him. Brian sat in the jeep watching the interaction with interest. He could see how Justin's face lit up when he saw his friend, and obviously she felt the same. Maybe there was more between the two of them than he was letting on? He would have to pay close attention during their visit. If Justin had something with this girl, she could be the key to helping the boy move on.

As Justin waited for Daphne to grab her purse, he couldn't help the smile that was on his face. He had missed her so much while he was gone. She was the only person that he felt comfortable talking to about his life, and he told her everything. 'Well, not everything,' he thought to himself. There was one thing he never talked to anyone about and it was going to stay that way. Besides, there was nothing to talk about. Just a bunch of mixed up feelings he blamed on being a confused teenager. He was beyond that now. His life, such as it was at the moment, was going to be everything his mother wanted it to be. It was the least he could do for her. His thoughts were interrupted when Daphne reappeared by his side.

"I'm ready," She sang, thrilled to have her best friend back, even if only for a few hours.

"Let's go," Justin replied, leading her to the jeep.

Once the introductions were made, the three of them chatted along as Brian followed the directions Justin gave him. They pulled up at a restaurant downtown and parked the car, before Justin realized that it had been his mother's favorite place.

"Justin, maybe we should go somewhere else," Daphne suggested, recognizing the place immediately. Justin and his mother used to take her there all the time while they were growing up.

"No...I'm okay. Let's...just go in," Justin replied, determined not to let his emotions get the best of him.

Brian stood by, watching Justin trying to hold it together. Not knowing what came over him, he laid a hand on the boys shoulder for support.

Justin acknowledged the gesture with a small smile and started walking, pushing away his inner demons. He didn't want to ruin this day. He wasn't sure when he would see Daphne again.

Once they were seated, Daphne tried to keep up a steady stream of conversation, hoping to keep Justin distracted. She regaled Brian with stories of their childhood, keeping the ones that included Justin's parents to herself.

"And remember that time, at Billy Davis's party when we were playing spin the bottle. You had to kiss Alison Cummings on the mouth. I thought you were going to run from the room screaming. I never saw you so scared in my life," Daphne laughed at the memory.

"Yeah, well, you would have been scared, too. I was afraid those braces of hers were going to cut me. Besides, I went through with it, remember? Billy made fun of me for a week after that! I was so traumatized that I didn't go to another birthday party for the rest of the year," Justin laughed, thinking back to a time when his life was so simple.

"I know. I had to go to all the parties alone after that. I swore I wasn't going to talk to you again for...hey, wait a minute! I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you yet!" Daphne exclaimed, trying to look serious.

Justin burst out laughing. "That's right! You said that if I didn't go to Kyle's party with you, you weren't going to talk to me again until you were 35. Well, it's too late now. I guess you're stuck with me," Justin teased, leaning over and tickling her side.

"Watch it, Taylor. I can still kick your ass!" Daphne exclaimed in a fit of giggles.

"If I remember correctly, the last time you tried, you lost," Justin pointed out.

"That didn't count! I was wearing a bikini and my top slipped off. I was too busy trying to cover myself to fight you." Daphne defended.

"Excuses, excuses," Justin teased, earning him a punch in the arm. "On that note, I'm going to run to the bathroom."

Once Justin disappeared from view, Daphne turned serious. "Brian, how is he really?"

"Not too good. This is really the first time he's laughed since he's been with Lindsay. She's been really worried about him," Brian admitted, hoping to get some insight into Justin's past.

"I was afraid of that. He was so close to his mother. I knew that he would be devastated. I couldn't believe it when I heard what happened. I grew up with them and it's so hard to imagine Craig doing what he did. I knew they had some problems, but never realized how bad things were. It explains why Justin was so jumpy that day. He must have known something was going to happen. Especially since Jennifer was going to have that talk with Craig," Daphne said, sadness in her eyes for the family she had loved.

"What talk is that?" Brian asked.

"Justin didn't tell anyone? Jennifer was leaving Craig. She and Justin were going to go stay at a hotel until Craig started counseling. He had a real nasty temper. For years, Justin would show up at my house at different times sporting new bruises. I told him he should talk to someone about it, but he refused. He said that everything was okay and that it never really hurt, but I knew he had to be lying. His bruises were pretty bad sometimes, and the one time he even ended up in the emergency room with two broken ribs. On the day they died, Justin had asked me to go with him into the city and hang out. He said that his mother was finally going to confront his father and make him get help. I could see that he was distracted all day, but I never imagined it would turn out like this. Poor Justin must be feeling so guilty right now. He didn't want Jennifer to talk to Craig alone, but she insisted. Shit! I probably shouldn't be telling you this. Justin would kill me," Daphne said, realizing all she had revealed.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," Brian replied with a smile. "Are you and he..."

"Justin and I? No way. I used to have a huge crush on him when we were twelve, but he told me that he didn't think of me that way. He said I was his best friend and that was more important than anything else. I was heartbroken, of course, but we got past it and became closer than ever," She explained.

"Has he ever had a girlfriend?"

"No. He said it was because I took up most of his time and he knew he could never handle trying to make two girls happy," She laughed, thinking back to the conversation.

Just then Justin started making his way back to the table and their conversation stopped, so Brian put away the information he'd learned for a later time.

The rest of the afternoon as spent with Justin and Daphne reliving the good old days. Brian just sat back enjoying the camaraderie between the two, and happy to see Justin behaving like a seventeen year old should. When it came time for them to say good bye, Brian was surprised when Daphne hugged him, too. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear.

"Please take care of him. He's not as strong as he tries to be."

"Don't worry, I will," Brian replied, not exactly sure where the promise came from.

Justin walked Daphne to the door, overcome with sadness. He didn't want to say good bye.

"I guess I'll talk to you soon," he said softly.

"Do you promise to call me? You know I'm here for you if you need to talk," she assured him.

"Yeah, I know. I love you Daph," Justin replied, taking her in his arms.

"I love you, too, Justin," she said, holding back the tears.

Justin walked back to the jeep and climbed in, lost in thought. Not only did he loose his parents, but he lost his best friend. She may have been just a phone call away, but it wasn't the same as being down the road. He just sat there staring out the window, giving Brian directions on how to get back to the highway. When they finally reached the interstate Justin began to relax.

"Thank you, Brian. I appreciate you bringing me here."

"No problem. Daphne seems like a nice girl," Brian said, hoping to get Justin to talk.

"Yeah, she's the best. We've been friends since we were five. There were a few months that were rough on us. Daphne kind of had a crush on me for awhile, but she got over it, thank God," Justin admitted, laughing.

"I take it you weren't interested in her that way?"

"God no! She's my friend, and you don't fall in love with your friends," Justin explained.

"I see," Brian replied casually. "Is there anyone else that you are interested in? Any girls that are swooning over you?"

"Not that I know of. I...I've never really had a girlfriend. It's always been Daphne and me. I don't think I could have handled more than that," Justin said, feeling uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going.

"Yeah, girls can be a really handful," Brian agreed, laughing inside at his reply. Like he would have any idea how hard it could be to handle women. All he had was Lindsay and she didn't count. "Maybe when you get to Dartmouth you will find someone special."

"Yeah, maybe," Justin replied quietly.

For the rest of the ride they talked about everything from college to what Brian actually did for a living. Justin had to admit that he enjoyed getting to know Brian better. He seemed like a really cool guy and he wasn't constantly on his back about everything. When they arrived back at Lindsay's it was after 9:00. They got out of the jeep and headed into the house, with Justin bracing himself for Lindsay's attack. He wasn't surprised when she greeted them at the door.

"Hey Guys! Did you have fun?"

"It was okay," Justin replied, not wanting to share too much with her. He like her, but he didn't want to get too close with her since he would be leaving for college in nine months and would probably never see her again. He was only there now because she was stuck with him.

"Hey Linds. Did everything go okay?" Brian asked, hoping they got the room all done.

"Everything's fine, Brian. All ready to go," She assured him, anxious to see Justin's reaction. "Justin, I need you to go down to the basement for a minute. I need your help with something."

"Okay," Justin replied, heading towards the basement. He found the light switch on the wall and turned it on as he made his way down the stairs. He was shocked when he reached the bottom. The room was set up like a bedroom. There was a double bed in the center, along with a night table, a dresser and a desk. On further notice, he realized that his things were there, too. Confused, he looked back to see Brian and Lindsay standing there waiting for a reaction.

"Why is my stuff down here?"

Lindsay smiled as she replied. "Brian thought you might have wanted a little space of your own, so while you were out today, some of our friends help me turn this into your bedroom. Now this doesn't mean that you were bothering me upstairs. You are more than welcome to stay up there if you want. I just wanted to give you a little privacy."

Justin looked back at the room, noticing for the first time the little space off to the side set up like a small sitting room. It was more like a small apartment than a bedroom. He smiled back up at Lindsay.

"This is great. Thank you!" He exclaimed.

"Don't thank me, thank Brian. It was his idea and his money," Lindsay replied, feeling Brian give her a little shove. He was one of the kindest men she had ever met, but hated when anyone pointed that out.

"Brian?" Justin looked up at the man he hardly knew and wondered why he was being so kind.

"It was nothing. It's not like I had to do the work," Brian replied, uneasy with the gratitude he saw in Justin's eyes.

Justin noticed the way Brian was reacting to the attention he was getting and decided to act casual. "Thank you, Brian. This is great."

Brian was thankful that the kid didn't make a big deal out of it. He didn't do it for praise. He did it because he liked the kid and wanted to help him out. "Your welcome. I'm glad you like it. Now I'd better get out of here. I have some work to do at home."

Lindsay walked Brian to the door while Justin stayed in his room looking around at his new surroundings.

"How did it go today?" Lindsay asked as soon as they were alone.

"Fine. I took him to Philadelphia to see his fiend Daphne. For the afternoon he was able to put his troubles away and have fun. It was nice seeing him laugh like he didn't have a care in the world," Brian replied with a smile.

"Wow, Brian. I think you really have a soft spot for him," Lindsay teased.

"I just want to help. You know, Linds, there's more in his past then you realize," Brian said, not wanting to tell her about what Daphne had admitted to him.

"I'm sure there is, and I won't ask you to tell me what you've learned. Just tell me if I should be worried about him. Do you think he's going to be alright?"

"In time, but what he needs right now is space to figure things out. He's a smart kid. He'll ask for help if he needs it," Brian said, hoping he was right.

"Thanks for everything, Brian. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Lindsay kissed his cheek and watched him walk away before going to the basement and checking on Justin.

"Is this okay? I wasn't sure what you would like so I asked the salesman what teenaged boys were living in these days," She laughed.

"This is great, Lindsay, thanks. Now you won't have to be woken up every night," He replied with a sad smile.

"Justin, you know I didn't do this because of that, right? I wasn't upset by being woken up. I want to help you. This was Brian's idea because he felt that you needed your own space," Lindsay explained, wanting Justin to know that she would be there for him regardless of where he was sleeping.

"I know, Lindsay. I wish you could help, but there's nothing anyone can do. I have to find a way to get past this all on my own. I promise that if I need anything I will ask, deal?"

"Deal," Lindsay replied, hugging Justin quickly. "Now, I'm going to go to bed. All this redecorating wore me out. I'll be right upstairs if you need me. Enjoy your room, and try to get some sleep, alright?"

"I will, and thanks again," Justin replied before adding, "for everything."

Lindsay smiled as she walked away. She had hoped that the room was the right thing to do, but after seeing the look on Justin's face, she knew Brian was right. This was just what he needed. She locked up the house and went to bed, hoping that this would be a turning point for Justin.

Justin looked around his new room, happy to finally have a place that felt a little more like his own. He turned on his stereo and threw himself on his new bed, his mind drifting over his day. He was so happy to see Daphne. He had really missed her in the last couple of weeks and promised himself that he would call her soon. Then he thought about Brian. He wasn't sure what to make of him. He didn't know the man well, and was confused at to why he was trying so hard to make him happy. His thoughts started straying towards Brian's appearance. He had nice hazel eyes, which appeared to see right through people, not to mention what appeared to be soft brown hair...

Justin bolted up in bed, startled by his thoughts. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He asked aloud, terrified by his thoughts. He began pacing around his room, trying to make sense of what he was feeling. Why would he be thinking about a man's eyes? Or his hair? He quickly pushed those thoughts away and climbed back into bed, needing to go to sleep. He was suddenly very tired and hoped to actually sleep through the night. Forcing his mind into nothingness, he drifted off to sleep, still a little disturbed by his thoughts.

Justin reached out a hand and slowly turned the door knob, already knowing that whatever was on the other side was not going to be good. He slowly pushed open the door, unprepared for what he saw. His mother was lying face down in the carpet, blood was everywhere. He wanted to scream, but no sound came out. Wanting to run away from the nightmare before him, he walked towards her body, as if he needed to make sure it was her. He knew immediately who was responsible for what he was seeing, and was shocked when he got closer and saw another body, lying off to the side of the bed. The gun was only a few feet away. His father was sprawled on his back, blood slowly dripping from the wound in his head, but Justin couldn't care about him right now. He squatted down by his mother's side and laid a hand on her wrist, looking for a pulse like they did on TV. There was nothing there. That bastard killed her! That bastard...

Justin woke with a start, confused as to his surroundings. Tears were rolling down his face and he was shaking. He had been back there again. Back to that awful day when his world had ended. It always seemed so new in his dreams, as if he was living through it again, and he wondered how many times he would have to relive it before it all just became a distant memory. Once he got his breathing under control, he curled back up and lay in the dark, wishing his father had killed him, too.


End of part 3
2/7/04

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