Going the Distance

Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Thanks to Carmina for the plot bunny.  The computer I used in this fic was found on a website for the visually impaired. I have no first hand knowledge of computer access for the blind, but I have heard wonderful things about blind people joining the internet world. In case anyone is interested, this is their web address.

http://www.dolphinuk.co.uk/index.htm

*****

Justin was sitting in his room with his best friend Daphne by his side, waiting for the man named Bill to finish the installation of his new computer. After months of training, he was finally ready to join the internet land he had been hearing so much about.

"Well, that's about it, Justin. Do you need me to help you get started?" Bill asked. He remembered seeing Justin in their offices on quite a few occasions while he was getting ready to purchase his computer.

"That's okay, Bill. Daphne and I can handle it from here. Thank you so much for everything," Justin said, rising from his bed and offering his hand.

"Anytime, Justin. There's a list on the right side of your keyboard with a list of phone numbers in case you need any help. It's also in Braille in case you are alone and need some assistance. Enjoy."

Justin waited until he heard Bill leave before sitting down at his computer desk. He had been so anxious to get online, but his mother had made him take some lame ass class to prepare before she dished out the money for the state of the art computer. He felt the keyboard, getting himself familiar with the model once again before beginning the steps to sign on line.

"Justin, do you need my help or do you want to do it on your own?" Daphne asked, knowing how independent he was.

"Normally I would say that I can do it myself, but I'm too excited to wait until I walk through all the steps. Could you just get me registered and help me pick my password?" Justin asked, his excitement still building.

Daphne laughed at his impatience. "Yeah, slide your chair over and let me at it."

Justin rolled his chair out of the way, allowing Daphne to have better access to his new toy and tried to wait patiently. His mind went back to the day when his mother brought up the subject of the computer. He had been pretty depressed after finding out that yet another operation hadn't worked and the doctors told him that it was likely that he would never get his sight back. He had been blind since he was two years old, after suffering from a rare form of meningitis. The infection attacked his brain, leaving the little boy without sight. Through the years the whole family adjusted to his handicap, but it didn't prevent them from wishing for a miracle. He had tried three different operations, all experimental, hoping to once again see the world, but each one had failed and with each failure, Justin lost a little more of his hope. He remembered the argument he had with his mother after the last time.

"Justin, we can just keep looking. There has to be someone out there who can help."

"Forget it, Mom. I give up. I refused to be anyone's guinea pig anymore. Face it, I'm never going to see again. And what does it mater? I'm used to it by now," Justin said, trying to hide his disappointment. He was sixteen years old and hadn't been able to see since he was a baby. What was the point now? All he managed to do was get his hopes up for something that was never going to happen.

"But Justin,"

"No buts, Mom. I said no!" Justin yelled, putting an end to it all.

That had been a year ago. It took some time but he finally got his parents to back off and accept his decision to leave things alone and just enjoy life. Now here he was, getting ready to begin a new journey into technology. His thoughts were interrupted when Daphne squealed.

"Justin! I did it!"

Justin couldn't help but laugh at his friend. She seemed more excited about the computer than he was. "Thanks Daph. Now move over and let me try it."

They spent the next few hours practicing, with Daphne directing Justin until he felt comfortable with what he was doing. Then she headed home for dinner and left him to play with his new toy. Three hours later, Jennifer appeared at the door, surprised to find Justin still in front of the computer.

"Justin, shouldn't you be getting to bed? It's getting late."

"Mom, get real. I'm seventeen years old. I think I can stay up past 9:00, don't you?" He spat, sarcastically.

"Alright, honey. Just don't stay up all night," she replied, kissing his head before walking out.

Justin just shook his head in disgust. It had taken him all this time to feel comfortable with the computer, there was no way he was going to sign off now. After he was sure that his parents were asleep, he did the one thing he had been dying to do ever since he found out he could cruise the internet. He entered the chat area. He figured it was a great way to meet people without having to deal with the pity everyone gave him because of his blindness. Online, he was just like everyone else. He entered a chat for teens and just hung out, listening to what everyone was talking about. He stayed there for about an hour before he got bored and decided to go to bed. He closed out of the chat room and was ready to sign off when he heard the bell go off letting him know that he got an instant message. Clicking on the accept button, he was surprised to hear the message.

{Bkinney: Hey there, JT. I saw you in the chat, but noticed you didn't say anything. Were we boring you? lol}

Justin wasn't sure if he should respond, but decided what the hell? It couldn't hurt.

{JT1986: No, I wasn't bored. I guess I just didn’t have much to say. I just got my computer today and was just checking things out.}

{Bkinney: So, you're new to this? What do you think so far?}

{JT1986: I love it so far. It's amazing what a person can do from their bedroom.}

{Bkinney: That's true. My name's Brian, by the way.}

{JT1986: Hi Brian, I'm Justin. Where are you from?}

{Bkinney: Oakland...it's in California, and you?}

{JT1986: I'm in Pittsburgh. How old are you?}

{Bkinney: Seventeen. I'm a senior in high school. What about you?}

{JT1986: I'm seventeen, too.}

Justin didn't say anything about school because he didn't want to have to mention that he was in a special school for the blind. He was happy to be talking to Brian and didn't want to scare him away.

{Bkinney: So, what do you like to do in your free time?}

{JT1986: Well, usually I spend all my time with my friend Daphne.}

{Bkinney: Your girlfriend?}

Justin had to sit back and think about that question. Did he want to admit that he was gay? Daphne was the only other person who knew aside from his family, but he was already hiding so much. Maybe this was his opportunity to be himself, aside from the whole blind thing, of course. If Brian couldn't accept the fact that he was gay, it was no big deal. He just wouldn't talk to him again.

{JT1986: No, I don't have a girlfriend. I'm gay.}

Justin waited for a minute and when he didn't hear a reply, he thought Brian freaked out and signed off. "Well, I guess that's that," he said out loud, preparing to sign off himself. Right before he did, he heard Brian's reply.

{Bkinney: You, too?}

Justin's blood began pumping in his ears. He never met anyone who was gay before and he couldn't believe his luck in finding someone like him. He'd finally have someone to talk to who understood what he was feeling.

{JT1986: Yeah, me too. It's nice to meet someone who's like me. I haven't come across anyone here in Pittsburgh.}

{Bkinney: Then you aren't looking in the right places. Gay people are everywhere if you know where to look...lol.}

{JT1986: You're probably right, although my parents would prefer me to keep a low profile. They aren't ready for their friends to know I'm gay. What about you? How did your parents take the news?}

{Bkinney: I haven't told them. It's none of their business.}

{JT1986: But they're your parents.}

{Bkinney: Not by my choice, and definitely not by theirs, either.}

Justin figured that there was more to Brian's claim, but didn't want to push him even though his curiosity was skyrocketing.

{JT1986: So what do you do in your free time?}

{BKinney: I usually just hang out with my friends or play soccer. I also spend a lot of time studying. I have to keep my grades up if I want to get into a good college.}

Justin thought about that for a minute. They were the same age, yet Brian was getting ready to go to college and all Justin had to look forward to was his computer. College was always an option for him, but under the circumstances he wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, so he decided not to mention it. Pushing away those thoughts, he decided to move the subject away from school.

{JT1986: So how long have you known you were gay? If you don't mind me asking. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.}

{BKinney: I don't mind. I realized I was into guys when I was 12, but I didn't tell anyone about it until I was 14. My friend Mikey has a gay Uncle. He was visiting from NY one weekend and I just came out and asked him what it was like, being with other men. He knew immediately why I was asking and helped me become who I am now. My parents don't know I'm gay, but everyone else does. I refuse to live my life in the closet.}

Justin was in awe of this boy he was talking to. He wished he had the courage to be who he wanted to be. Then again, being blind was hard enough.

{JT1986: Wow, that's great that you have someone like that to talk to. My parents refuse to talk about it. I know my father is disappointed in me for being gay, and my mother is good, but she usually tries to forget about it most of the time. Daphne listens to me when I need to talk to someone, but she doesn't know anything about being gay so she's as clueless as I am.}

{BKinney: Well, now you have me. I'll be here if you need to talk to someone.}

{JT1986: Really?}

{BKinney: Of course! What are friends for?}

Justin felt his heart race at Brian's reply. It felt good to know he had someone to turn to with his questions, and he had plenty. He wanted to start asking right away, but wasn't sure if it was a good time considering they had just met. Brian took away any doubts.

{BKinney: Is there something on your mind now? Here in California it's only 8:00pm. I have plenty of time if you do.}

{JT1986: Well, I...}

{BKinney: Justin, there's no reason to be shy. God knows I'm not.}

{JT1986: Okay, well, have you done things before?}

Justin could feel his face turning red by his question, but tried not to let it bother him. The worst thing that could happen would be for Brian to refuse to answer, and he already said he wasn't shy.

{BKinney: You mean am I a virgin? No, I'm not. I was 15 my first time.}

{JT1986: Wow! What was it like? Did you, I mean, were you, how...}

{BKinney: Do you mean was I a top or bottom?}

{JT1986: Top or bottom?}

{BKinney: Yeah, a top does the fucking, a bottom gets fucked. I am a top. I do the fucking.}

{JT1986: Oh, I see. How did you know that you wanted to be a top? I mean are there any signs?}

{BKinney: Not really, and most of the time it all depends on the circumstances, but when I imagined myself with someone it was always on top. That's not saying that I wouldn't bottom for the right person. I just prefer to be on top. The one that's in control. Where do you imagine yourself being?}

Again, Justin could feel himself blushing. He couldn't believe the conversation he was having with someone he'd never actually met before, but the computer gave him the courage to talk that he wouldn't have if he met Brian in person. Thinking about the question, he knew what his answer was.

{JT1986: I guess I'm a bottom. I mean, that's what I imagine when I think about it. Not that I think about it much or anything.}

{BKinney: Justin, you're 17. Of course you think about it a lot. It's what us teenagers do. We lay in bed at night thinking about it, touching ourselves.}

Justin felt something flutter in his chest at Brian's words. He never felt comfortable talking to his parents or Daphne about any of this, and reading books or magazines was out of the question for obvious reasons. He always thought he was some kind of freak with the thoughts that went through his head. Maybe he wasn't so different after all.

{JT1986: You touch yourself, too?}

{BKinney: Hell yes! I usually imagine it's Brad Pitt touching me though.}

Justin laughed at that comment. He never actually saw Brad Pitt, of course, but Daphne had told him how hot he was.

{JT1986: I guess there's a lot I need to learn.}

{BKinney: And I'm just the person to teach it to you.}

They continued chatting long into the night, with Brian telling Justin all he needed to know about the art of gay sex. By the time they decided to signed off Justin was even more thankful for his computer. He finally began to feel like he wasn't such a stupid kid anymore and he owed it all to Brian.

{JT1986: Brian, thank you so much for talking to me tonight. I feel so much better about things now.}

{BKinney: Anytime, Justin. Will you be around tomorrow night? Maybe we could chat again?}

{JT1986: Sure! That sounds great. I’ll be around.}

{BKinney: Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Although, I guess it’s actually later today...lol!}

{JT1986: I guess so...lol! Good night, Brian.}

{BKinney: Later, Justin.}

Justin signed off and made his way to the bed, crawling in and feeling himself drifting off almost immediately with thoughts of Brian running through his head. He had a feeling that it was going to be a wonderful friendship.

On the other side of the country, Brian lay in bed, unable to fall asleep. His mind was too caught up with the kid he'd just met. He never really spent that much time online before, but he was bored and figured it was be something to do. Now he had a feeling that he would be spending more time at the computer than ever. Maybe he was being crazy, but there was something about Justin that seemed to catch his attention. Maybe it was his innocence, but whatever it was, Brian couldn’t help but look forward to their next chat session.

End of part 1
4/13/04
 

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