Coming Out

Chapter 2

It was Friday night and Brian and Justin were just finishing up their work day. Justin was officially trained and knew what was expected of him. Brian was thrilled to be starting his new position on Monday.

"Hey, how about we go grab a bite to eat to celebrate our new jobs. Unless you have somewhere else to go?" Brian asked.

He had spent the last couple of nights trying to put the blond boy out of his thoughts, but hadn't really succeeded. He would lie in bed just thinking about spending another day with Justin. Now that the training was over, he wasn't sure how much they would actually see each other. Brian wanted to spend a little more time with him. He was most likely straight, but that was okay. Brian liked him a lot. He was fun to hang out with. Brian didn't even realize he had been holding his breath, waiting for Justin's answer.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds great. My parents had a charity event to go to tonight, and my sister is staying at a friend's so I was just going to be home alone anyway," Justin answered casually.

Although on the inside he was anything but casual. His mind was racing with a million reasons why he should just go home alone. Brian was straight, and even though Justin had lots of straight friends that he hung out with, he was never attracted to any of them the way he was to Brian. He was afraid that Brian would figure out his secret and hate him for it. He opened his mouth to tell Brian that he had forgotten he had something to do, but couldn’t bring himself to turn down the invitation.

"Do you have a car? I have mine if you want me to drive," he said instead.

Brian felt his heart flutter at the thought of spending some time alone with Justin, away from the agency.

"That's great. I don't have a car yet, so it's either yours or the bus," he replied.

As they finished putting away the copies they’d just got done running off, Brian tried to decide if he should find a subtle way to let Justin know that he was gay. There weren't that many people who knew about him, but that's because he didn't want his parents to find out. He wanted to be up front with Justin from the beginning. Even though he knew nothing would ever happen between the two of them, he wanted to have Justin as a friend and knew that a secret like this would not be a good way to start. All he had to do was figure out how to drop his little bombshell without scaring him off. If Justin couldn't handle being friends with him after he found out the truth, well it's better that it comes out now.

As Justin drove to a nearby diner, he could feel butterflies in his stomach. He never remembered being so nervous. He was mentally telling himself to calm down. It was only dinner with a friend. Even if that friend happened to be gorgeous, funny, and...ok, enough of that. He had to stop the thoughts that were running through his head. When they arrived at the diner, Justin jumped out of the car relieved to put some space between them. The hostess seated them right away in a booth back in the corner. When they reached for their menus at the same time, their hands brushed together and both boys jumped from the jolt of electricity they felt. Justin quickly apologized and hid behind his menu, trying to calm the excitement he felt. He hoped that Brian didn't notice the effect the encounter had on him.

Brian sat watching Justin looking at his menu and thought about the brief hand contact that they had made. Justin appeared to be thrown by it. Could it be that Justin wasn't as straight as Brian had thought? No, probably not. But he was going to make sure to out himself before the night was through, just in case. After looking through the menu, Brian decided on what to order and waited for the waitress to return. Once their orders were placed they were left alone to get to know each other better. "So Justin, I heard you go to school at St. James. Do you like it?" Brian asked, wanting to find out what he could about his new friend.

"It's okay I guess. I’ve been going there since kindergarten so I know everybody. I can't wait to get out of there though. I want to go away to college and explore whatever’s outside of Pittsburgh. I’m so tired of this place. Everybody has to know everybody's business," he answered. He could see a strange look on Brian's face. "What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?" he asked looking worried.

Brian couldn't help but chuckle. "No. You didn't say anything wrong. It's just that you sound like me. I can't wait to get out of here. I am so tired of this small town. I want to go away to school and get my degree. Maybe travel a little. I want to get a good job and make enough money to buy nice things, wear nice clothes. It's all that I think about. I'll probably end up coming back here when I'm done. I want to work for Ryder and try to pay him back for all that he's done for me, but I want to be free from all the bullshit with my parents and those losers at my school. I want my own life," Brian replied.

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was like he was hearing his own thoughts and dreams. "I know what you mean. My parents are always on my back, telling me to keep my grades up, do my homework, be home by eleven. God why can't they see that I'm almost an adult? I am old enough to make my own decisions," Justin exclaimed, suddenly realizing that he was running at the mouth. He looked across the table at Brian and saw a smirk on his face. "Sorry. I tend to get carried away when I think about my parents," he said shyly.

“That's okay. You're lucky that your parents care enough to hound you like that. My parents don't care what I do. They just want me to graduate and move out. Oh, and I'm suppose to stay out of trouble so I don't embarrass them. Ha, like my pop doesn't do that enough every time he gets picked up on a drunk and disorderly," Brian laughed. "No, I can't wait till I can get out of here." He was stopped from saying anything more when the waitress brought out their food.

They ate in silence, both lost in thought. Justin was trying to digest what Brian said about his parents not caring. He couldn't imagine how that must feel. He may hate the way his parents try to control him, but he knew that they were only doing it out of love. How sad that Brian lived his life without the support of his parents. Looking up from his plate he couldn't help but feel sorry for his new friend. He also couldn't help the twitching of his cock at the beauty of him. He needed to keep his mind off of his attraction to him; otherwise the only way to get out of there was going to be by dumping his water glass down on his lap.

Brian could feel Justin watching him while he ate. He was really beginning to think that maybe he was gay. He finished eating as quickly as he could; wanting to get them alone so he could explore the attraction he was starting to think was mutual. He didn't want to cause a scene in the diner if it turned out that Justin was just another homophobic jerk. When they were both done eating, they reached for the check at the same time and pulled back laughing.

"I got it. My treat in celebration of your new job," Brian said.

"No. My treat in celebration of your new position and as a thank you for training me and showing me around. I insist," Justin answered.

"Okay, but I treat next time." Brian replied.

After Justin paid the check, they headed out to the car. Brian new he needed to come up with an idea to go somewhere where they could talk. "Hey, are you in a rush to get home? I know of a great place to go hang out. My friends and I used to steal a bottle out of my father's stash and go over to the lake and drink while talking about what shit's our parents were. Would you like to check it out?" Brian asked, hoping he sounded more confident then he felt. He wasn't sure what he was going to do if Justin agreed to go, but he knew that this was his chance to come clean and see if the chemistry he was feeling between them was just in his own imagination.

"Uh, yeah...okay. Sure," Justin stammered. His heart was beating so fast at the thought of being alone at the lake with Brian. 'Okay Taylor, grow up. It's just two friends going to hang out. Don't read more into it then there is,' he thought to himself. He needed to get a grip on his feelings. Besides, he’d already decided to keep his feelings to himself until he could get away from his parents and start a life for himself. Justin drove to the lake in silence, unsure of what to do next.

By the time they pulled up at the lake, Brian had already made up his mind to just come right out and tell the truth. Whatever happened from there, he wasn't sure, but he knew that he needed to get it out in the open.

Justin parked the car underneath a large oak tree and killed the engine. His hands were shaking and he was sure that Brian could see the tension in him. He took a few deep breaths, trying to get his breathing under control. He was startled when Brian spoke.

"So, Justin, what kind of music to you listen to?" Brian asked. He couldn't believe he had been so pathetic. He was all ready to just come right out and tell Justin he was gay, but he chickened out. This was going to be harder then he thought. As much as he wanted the boy, he was afraid that once he made his little announcement, Justin would be disgusted and want nothing more to do with him. Brian didn't want to lose the friendship he felt building between them.

"I like all kinds of music, I guess. Except for violin music. I can't stand that shit. It sounds like someone’s torturing a cat. What about you?" he asked, starting to feel the strain of being so close to Brian and not being able to touch him.

"I like most music, too, although I would have to agree with you on the violin shit," Brian answered, thinking that this wasn't going like he had planned. It was time to bite the bullet and just come out with it. He wasn't sure who was more surprise with his next statement. "I'm gay." he said. There was an uncomfortable silence in the car while both boys let the confession sink in. Brian recovered first. "Look, I didn't mean to blurt it out that way. I like you and I want us to be friends so I thought I should be honest right from the beginning. I hope I didn't freak you out or anything. You don't have to worry; I'm not going to attack you. I just thought you should know." Brian said without looking up. He was afraid to see the look of horror he figured would be in Justin's eyes.

Justin felt a lump in his throat. He didn't know what to say. He was overwhelmed by the emotions he was feeling. Ever since he met Brian a few days ago, all he could think about was his beautiful hazel eyes, his wonderful swimmer's build. He never imagined that he could be gay. Justin didn't have any experience with other gay people. He was beginning to think that he was alone in town. That there was no one else out there like him. He was trying to get his thoughts together and get over the shock when he heard Brian speak.

"Okay. I guess maybe I should have kept my little secret to myself. Forget I said anything. Why don't you just drop me at the nearest bus stop and go about your weekend? I’ll see you at the office on Monday," Brian whispered, wishing he had just kept his mouth shut. He could tell that the news upset Justin and felt the tension through out the car. This was not how he wanted to end the day.

Justin only heard half of what Brian was saying since he was so caught up in his own thoughts. He was confused by what he just heard. "What? You want me to take you to the bus stop?" he asked.

"Yeah. I can see that my little secret you upset. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean for you to feel awkward. It's no big deal. You're straight, I understand that. I just wanted you to know that I'm not. I’d still like us to be friends, but if you don't want to, well that's okay. You can just drop me at the bus stop and we can forget we ever went out to dinner. On Monday it’ll be business as usual." Brian knew he was rambling, but he couldn't stop himself. All he wanted to do was go home and crawl in bed and stay there until it was time to go back to work.

Justin realized that Brian assumed he was straight from his reaction to his announcement. He knew that he needed to make an announcement of his own. "Brian, I'm sorry if I seem thrown by what you just told me. I just needed to let it sink in. I thought I was the only one," he said, hoping to get his message across.

"Hey, it's no big deal. I didn't mean to...the only one? You mean you're gay?" Brian asked unsure if he heard correctly.

"Yeah. I'm gay. Wow, this is the first time I ever told anybody. Like I said, I was sure I was the only gay boy in the whole state. I've kept it to myself, not wanting to upset my parents. They’re always setting me up with their friends’ daughters. I just go along with it. That's one of the reasons I can't wait to get out of here. I just want to be me," Justin said, not sure of what was going to happen next. He didn't have long to wonder. He felt Brian's lips on his own in a soft, warm kiss and for the first time in his life he felt free.


End of part 2
5/22/03

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