Innocent Betrayal

Chapter 9

Justin and Luke had a great day at the lake. There were a few times when Justin would see a far away look cross Luke’s face and knew the man was thinking about their situation, but overall he seemed to relax and have fun. By the time they got back home, they were both tired from spending the day in the sun.

“Are you hungry?” Justin asked once they had put everything away.

“No, not really. How about you?”

“No, I was thinking that maybe we could go take a little nap and stay up all night watching movies like we used to,” Justin suggested.

“Justin, you don’t have to do this,” Luke replied softly.

“Do what?”

“Bend over backwards to make me happy. It was a nice day and I thank you for that, but if you want to spend some time in your studio, it’s okay,” Luke informed him. He loved Justin’s suggestion, but didn’t want him to feel obligated to spend all of their time together. That wasn’t going to solve their problems.

Justin saw the sadness in Luke’s face and hated that he put it there. “It was a great day and I want it to continue. The studio will be there tomorrow and I have nothing pressing that I have to get ready for. Now let’s go lay down for awhile and then we can go rent some movies, pick up some junk food, and spend the night sprawled out in front of the TV.”

Luke smiled at the thought. “Sounds perfect.”

Together they walked upstairs and climbed into bed, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Brian spent the day sitting alone in the loft thinking about his life and how he had gotten to where he was now. He never planned on settling down with anyone, but when Kyle came along everything changed. He was tall, strong and confident; everything that always appealed to Brian, but aside from that he was a good man. Their years together had been good, but now Brian had to wonder what would happen next. He still cared for Kyle, but after feeling the emotions that Justin caused, was it possible for them to go back to their old life, assuming that Kyle even wanted to? And what about Justin? Wasn’t he at home right now, trying to work things out with Luke? How did they manage to get themselves into this mess? He reached for the phone.

“Hello,” Kyle answered on the third ring.

“Hey,” Brian whispered.

“Hey, are you all settled?”

“Yeah, I guess. You know I never meant to hurt you, right?” Brian asked.

“I know Brian, but I still don’t understand. Why now? If you’ve been monogamous all this time, what caused you to start tricking again?” Kyle asked, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.

Brian took a deep breath before answering. “He’s not a trick.”

Kyle felt his heart tighten in his chest. “Oh God,” he moaned.

“Kyle…” Brian began.

“No Brian, don’t say anything. If you were tricking, at least I would have something to fight for. Tricks never meant anything to you. If this…person…is someone you care about…you do care about him, right?” Kyle didn’t want to hear the answer.

“Yeah, I do,” Brian answered honestly.

“And he cares about you, too?”

“I think so, but there are other factors.”

“Other factors? Let me guess, he’s in a relationship, too, isn’t he?” When Brian didn’t answer, Kyle knew. “Brian, how could you do this? How could you destroy two relationships as if they didn’t matter?”

“We didn’t plan for it to happen, Kyle. We tried to ignore it, but the attraction…it was just too strong,” Brian tried to explain.

“That’s bullshit! It’s called self restraint. Who is it? Do I know him?” Kyle yelled, letting his anger get the better of him. He started thinking back to see if there were any signs he had missed; anything to tell him that Brian was getting involved with someone else.

“Does it matter?”

“Not really, but I want to know. You work from home. How did you meet this…” Kyle stopped mid sentence. He knew. “It’s Justin, isn’t it?”

Brian was silent.

“I should have known. I should have seen it. You’ve been distant and moody for two weeks, and Justin seemed uncomfortable the other night at the opening. I just thought he was worried about the show. Does Luke know?” Kyle brushed away the silent tears that were running down his face.

“He knows there’s someone else, he just doesn’t know who. We never meant to hurt either of you,” Brian assured him.

“How very fucking nice of you! Is Justin leaving Luke?”

“Luke is giving Justin time to decide what he wants.”

“Well then Luke’s not as smart as I thought he was. There’s no fucking way I’m going to sit back and wait for you to choose between us. I’m going away for a few days. When I get back I expect to see your shit gone, understand?”

“Kyle…”

“Good bye, Brian.” Kyle hung up the phone and then threw it into the wall. How could he have been so blind? Thinking back to the days since they moved in he could easily see the signs. The fights Brian had started for no reason, the fit he threw when Kyle and Luke had pushed Justin to help with the campaign; God, he had almost forced them together. Now he was left with a nice home, and no one to come home to.

By six am, Luke was sound asleep in front of the TV and Justin was left wide awake and feeling restless. As much as he wanted to give him and Luke a chance, he realized that it wasn’t going to work out. Whether Brian was available or not, things between him and Luke had changed and they couldn’t go back. Their day together was nice and it was good for them to laugh and have fun, but something was missing. It made Justin realize what he knew ever since Brian had turned his head. His relationship with Luke was over, now all he had to do was find a way to tell Luke. He quietly rose from the couch and made his way out back, deciding to take advantage of the nice weather. He stepped outside and was surprised to see Kyle standing out of his deck, looking in his direction.

“Good morning,” he said to his neighbor.

“Is it?” Kyle asked dryly.

Justin had a chill run down his spine at the tone of Kyle’s voice and knew immediately that Kyle knew. “Look Kyle…”

“What Justin? What are you going to say? That you’re sorry? That you never meant to hurt anyone? You didn’t mean for it to happen? Brian already gave me the whole speech, but it doesn’t change anything, does it? It doesn’t change the fact that my partner of five years is gone or that I bought this house to spend my life here with him and now I’m alone. Your words mean nothing to me.”

“Maybe you and Brian can work things out. If you give him a chance…”

Kyle laughed at Justin’s suggestion. “If I give him a chance? To what? Live next door to his lover? You’re fooling yourself if you think that nothing has to change. Do you know anything about Brian? Have you actually talked to him about who he is, or have you spent all your time in bed?”

Justin winced at Kyle’s words.

“Because if you know anything about him, then you know that Brian Kinney doesn’t believe in love. I was the only person that he ever wanted to stick around. I knew who he was and that was the first clue that I meant something to him. Everyone else was just a trick so I didn’t have to worry about them. Let me ask you something, Justin. Is what you and Brian have a one time thing?”

Justin looked away, unable to look at the pain in Kyle’s face.

“That’s what I thought. Well I refuse to sit around playing second best. He’s all yours,” Kyle stared walking away.

“Kyle? Are you going to…”

“What? Say anything to Luke? Not right now, but I won’t sit around and watch you hurt him anymore than you already have. Right now you have two good men putting their lives on hold waiting for you to make a decision. They don’t deserve that; especially not from you.”

Justin watched Kyle walk away, feeling the sting from the words thrown at him. He walked back inside and sat down in the living room, watching Luke sleep. He knew what he needed to do but it was just so hard. He really did love Luke, but his feelings for Brian were so strong that he couldn’t ignore them. He needed to talk to Brian. He had to know what the other man was feeling. He stood up and quietly made his way upstairs to shower and change. An hour later he was knocking on Brian’s door.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Brian asked as Justin walked through the door.

“We need to talk,” Justin replied quietly.

“I don’t think I like the sound of that. Have a seat. Do you want anything? Coffee?” Brian offered.

“No, I’m good.” Justin waited until Brian joined him on the couch before beginning. “I saw Kyle this morning.”

“I take it he said something to you?”

“Oh, he had a few things to say actually, but the one thing he did say that really got to me was that you and Luke were good men and didn’t deserve to sit around with your lives on hold waiting for me to make a decision. Is that what you’re doing? Are you waiting to see if I stay with Luke? We’ve never really talked about us and what we’ve been thinking. I need to know how you feel.”

“Justin…”

“Listen Brian, I love Luke. No matter what happened between us, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still love him. I can’t keep hurting him this way. We spent the day together yesterday and I could see him trying to forget that there was someone else. I can’t keep jumping from you to him, yet I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve already made my decision, but I need to know what you want to happen.”

“Well…”

“No, let me finish.” Justin stood up and began pacing back and forth, trying to figure out what to say. “This may sound crazy, but I’m pretty sure I love you. It’s only been two weeks, but I’ve never felt like this before and it scares the hell out of me. I think I knew since the very beginning that nothing was ever going to be the same. I felt so guilty over my feelings for you. I never wanted to hurt Luke and until you moved in next door I was happy to be with him. Now everything’s changed and I’m not sure where to go now. I know that no matter what, Luke and I are through. Even if I never see you again, how fair is it for me to stay with him when I could so easily stray? But I need to know what you are thinking, feeling before I take the next step.”

“I love you,” Brian whispered as he came up behind Justin and stopped his pacing.

“You what?” Justin asked incredulously as he turned to look at Brian.

Brian chuckled at the look on Justin’s face. “I said I love you.”

“But…but…I thought you didn’t believe in love?” Justin stammered.

“I thought I didn’t either. I guess I was just waiting for someone to make me believe,” Brian replied.

“Are we crazy? We’ve only known each other for two weeks and here we are, risking everything to be together.”

“I think it’s worth the risk,” Brian said softly.

Justin looked up into Brian’s eyes. “Me too.”

A little while later, Justin pulled back into the driveway trying to decide what to say to Luke. He and Brian decided that Justin would move into the loft temporarily, until they could make more permanent plans for the future. Now all he had to do was tell Luke his decision and hope that in time he would be forgiven.

When he walked into the house, he found Luke sitting on the couch, already showered, dressed and staring into space.

“Hey,” Justin said.

“Hey. I guess I don’t have to ask you where you’ve been.”

“I’m sorry. I needed to work a few things out,” Justin replied.

“I guess you’re leaving, huh?” Luke asked.

“Luke…”

“Don’t say anything yet. Just sit down and listen to me for a minute, okay?”

Justin nodded and took a seat next to Luke, waiting.

“God, you are so beautiful,” Luke said softly. “I heard you leave earlier and knew where you were going. I thought about trying to stop you, but knew it would be pointless. I know that you love me, Justin. I’ve known that since the beginning, just like I know that you love him more. It hurts; I can’t say that it doesn’t, but I won’t stand in your way. You have to do what makes you happy. I just hope that you find all the happiness you deserve.”

“How can you say that? How can you be so sweet when I’ve done nothing but cause you pain?” Justin cried.

“It’s easy…because I love you. Look Justin, I know how hard this has been on you, too. I know you didn’t set out to hurt me. These things just happen sometimes. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you want to be here with me, but there’s not. So you need to go, follow your heart and see what the future brings. Right now it will be too hard, but I hope that one day we can be friends.” Luke was fighting to hold himself together. He knew he had to be strong or Justin probably wouldn’t have the strength to leave and sadly, it was time.

Justin wiped away a few stray tears on Luke’s face. “You are such a good man Luke, and I hope that things work out for you. I will always be truly sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, and I want you to know that I don’t regret a moment we’ve spent together. I wish things worked out differently because I was so lucky to have you in my life.”

“Me too, Babe. Me too. Now, I’m going to take a little ride while you get some of your things together. I can’t bear to be here when you leave. You can get the rest of your stuff while I’m at work. There’s no rush. We can work out all the details later.” Luke leaned in and kissed Justin’s lips softly. “I love you; take care of yourself.”

“I love you, too,” Justin whispered, choking back a sob.

Luke took one last look at Justin before walking away; it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

Justin watched Luke walk away and felt an overwhelming sadness wash over him. He knew it was the right thing to do, but it didn’t make it any easier. He loved Luke and was going to miss him terribly. With silent tears running down his face, Justin went up stairs and threw some things into his overnight bag. He started to walk out, but then as an after thought, walked back in and grabbed a framed picture of the two of them, adding it to the bag.

Downstairs he went into his studio and grabbed a couple of sketch books and his art case, just in case he felt the urge to draw. Once he was sure he had everything he needed for a few days he looked around one more time and walked away.

By the time Justin reached the loft he was on the verge of a breakdown. Driving away from the house he and Luke shared was harder than he thought it would be and his mind was racing with so many questions. Was he doing the right thing? Should he have tried harder to make things work with Luke? He gave up his old life to start a new one with a man he’d only known for two weeks. Was he thinking clearly or was he running on pure emotion? He still didn’t have the answers when Brian opened the door for him moments later.

“Hey, how’d it go?” Brian asked as he took a bag from Justin and stood back to allow him to enter.

Justin tried to answer, but found himself unable to speak, choosing to throw his arms around Brian for comfort.

“Shhh, it’s going to be alright,” Brian soothed as he lead Justin over to the couch. He sensed that Justin needed a few minutes to pull himself together and just held him waiting for him to settle down. Finally, Justin pulled away and Brian could see the pain in his eyes.

“Brian, I feel so awful. Luke knew where I was when I was gone and knew I had made my decision. He was so sweet to me, telling me that I had to follow my heart. I almost wish he was a bastard. It would have made it easier. I really hope we know what we’re doing,” Justin sighed.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a fucking clue,” Brian teased. “Don’t worry, we’ll work it out.”

Justin looked deep into Brian’s eyes and saw love staring back at him, causing his heart to soar. “Yes, we will.


Five years later…


Justin stood in the corner of the small art gallery waiting for the crowd to recede. It was his last showing in the Pittsburgh area for awhile and he wanted to just sit back and enjoy it. While he watched the crowd interacting he felt a set of arms come up behind him and leaned back into the embrace with a smile.

“I’m so proud of you,” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear.

“I know, you tell me that all the time, but it’s always nice to hear,” Justin replied with a chuckle.

“I can’t wait to get on that plane tomorrow. Spending one month in Italy with the man I love is like a dream come true,” Brian said as he nibbled on Justin’s ear.

“Sorry, but as much as I’m looking forward to this trip, I would have to say hearing you call me the man you love is my dream come true,” Justin told him honestly.

Justin continued to look on with Brian holding him close and thought about what it had taken to get them to where they were. The break up between him and Luke went fairly well considering, but his mother and sister weren’t real happy with him when they found out. It had taken them a couple of months to warm up to Brian, but they eventually fell in love when him and since then things had been good. The last time he had seen or spoken to Luke was at the closing of the house. Luke decided to sell it and move somewhere that held no memories of the life they shared. By that time, Luke had found out that Brian was the other man and he was really upset by the news. Justin regretted the pain he had caused, but he couldn’t regret his life with Brian. After five years he was still happier than ever and Brian seemed to feel the same why.

Things with Kyle weren’t as amicable. Kyle fought Brian every step of the way until Brian finally gave in and signed his share of the house over to his ex-lover. It didn’t matter anyway. Brian obviously didn’t need the money. Two years later, Kyle sold the house and moved away. Rumor had it that he’d moved to Montana and started his own practice. They never heard from him again.

Brian was still doing freelance work, but not nearly as much as he did while he was with Kyle. Having a partner that worked from home gave him more important things to do with his time. Justin’s art was more in demand in the last couple of years and Brian some how stumbled into the position of agent, handling the business details of Justin’s career. Aside from the regular showings in Pittsburgh, Justin had his work in some of the major cities in the country and was in negotiations with a galley in Paris. Apparently the owner saw his work in a NY gallery and fell in love. The money started rolling in a few years earlier, just in time for him to throw Molly her dream wedding to Kevin. Things between them finally worked out and they were happily married and expecting their first child.

Brian and Justin also began spending a lot of time with Gus, which was something they both enjoyed. Hearing Gus call out to Daddy Justin was something Justin would never get tired of hearing, and neither would Brian.

Their relationship wasn’t perfect, of course. They still had their problems, like when Justin found out exactly how much Brian was worth. Brian had been kept a secret for the first year due the his insecurities. Kyle always resented Brian’s bank account so he figured Justin would feel the same. After a particularly heated argument, Justin told Brian that the money wasn’t a problem; although he had no intention of being a “kept boy” he didn’t have the issues that Kyle did. It was being kept in the dark that was the problem. Brian apologized and groveled for a few days and they moved on from there. It was the last time Brian ever tried to keep anything from Justin.

As the crowd started to thin out, Justin caught sight of Luke standing off to the side watching him.

“Brian, there’s Luke. I’ll be right back.” He removed himself from Brian’s embrace and headed towards his ex-lover.

“Hey Justin,” Luke said as the other man approached.

“Luke, what are you doing here?” Justin couldn’t hold back the surprise in his voice.

“Well, you know how much I love art galleries. I happen to know the artist, too,” Luke teased.

“Really,” Justin laughed. “How have you been?”

“Good…I’ve been good. I’m with someone now. Another teacher, although not from my school. We met at the teacher’s convention a couple of years ago and so far things are really great. We’re talking about moving in together,” Luke explained.

“That’s great! I’m so happy for you. I really do wish you all the best.”

“I see that you’re still with Brian?”

“Yeah, he’s…” Justin stopped, not sure of what to say.

“It’s okay Justin. A part of me will always love you, but I’ve moved on. You don’t have to walk on eggshells with me,” Luke assured him.

“Things are great. We’re happy, really happy. In fact, we’re leaving for Italy in the morning.”

“So you’re finally getting the trip you always wanted. I glad things worked out for you. I was hurt at the time, but I know that Brian is a good guy and as long as he’s treating you well, I’m happy for you both. Maybe when you get back from your trip we can all go out for dinner one night?” Luke offered.

“Are you sure?” Luke nodded in response. “I’d like that. I’ve missed you a lot in the last five years. I missed having you as my friend,” Justin replied honesty.

“I’ve missed that, too, but I needed to put some distance between us to get over everything. I think I’m ready for a friendship now, if you are.”

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Justin assured him, hugging the man tightly.

Luke hugged him back and pulled away to see Brian approaching. “Hello Brian, how’ve you been?”

“I’ve been good Luke, how are you?” Brian asked.

“I’m doing okay,” Luke replied. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a card with his phone number on it. “Here’s my number. Call me when you get home and settled and we’ll set something up, okay?”

“I will. Thanks for stopping by Luke. It was great to see you again,” Justin said sincerely.

“Yeah, it was good to see you both again. I’m happy everything worked out for you. Have a safe trip and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Take care, Luke,” Brian said as he watched the man walk away. “What was that about?”

“I think that was about forgiveness,” Justin replied.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fabulous. Now let’s get out of here and finishing packing. We have an early plane to catch and I don’t want to miss it.” Justin gently pulled Brian towards the back so he could say his good byes.

Later that night while they were in bed coming down from an intense orgasm, Brian asked him the question that had been plaguing him since they’d seen Luke at the gallery.

“Are you really okay after seeing Luke tonight?”

‘Yeah, I am. I thought that if I ever saw him again it would be awkward, but you know what? It was nice. He moved on and seems to be happy now, and that’s all that matters,” Justin replied.

“What about you? Are you happy? Do you have any regrets?”

“I regret the people who got hurt all those years ago, but I don’t regret our life together. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m happier than I ever thought possible. I love you Brian Kinney.”

“I love you too, Justin Taylor.”


The end
09/01/04

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