Breaking Internal Barriers

Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

 

“Brian!” Justin called out, looking at the man carefully to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

 

“Justin?” Brian asked, completely surprised to see the familiar blonde from work. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I was about to ask you the same question,” Justin replied, smiling. “I come here practically every night…this is my hangout.”

 

“So you’re gay?” Brian questioned, even though he already knew the answer.

 

Justin chuckled. “Gayer than a three dollar bill. Always have been, always will be.”

 

Brian gave his usual tongue and cheek expression and both men just stood staring at each other.

 

“I guess we have more in common than I thought,” Justin smirked.

 

“Guess so,” Brian replied.

 

Justin could feel the tension between them growing, and his own anxiety was becoming overwhelming as well.

 

“I need a drink,” Justin said. “Care to join me?”

 

“Sure,” Brian agreed.

 

Justin and Brian went over to Kevin at the bar, and Kevin’s mouth almost dropped open when he saw Justin standing with the new hot stud.

 

“Justin,” Kevin said. “You've met the new guy after all…I knew it wouldn’t take you long to snag him.”

 

Justin rolled his eyes. “Kevin, I would like for you to meet Brian Kinney, the new partner at my firm. Brian, this is Kevin…an old friend of mine.”

 

Brian and Kevin shook hands and Kevin looked at the man blankly.  Turning to look at Justin, he said,  “You mean…this is the same guy…”

 

“Yes,” Justin said, not wanting Kevin to give away his feelings that he had displayed earlier.

 

“Wow,” Kevin said. “That’s something. I can’t believe you two already know each other. I mean, the king of the Coliseum meets the new stud and they work together…that’s a story there.”

 

Brian turned to look at Justin. “You’re the guy that everyone wants to fuck in here?”

 

Justin smiled. “The one and only.”

 

“This is so weird,” Brian said. “I used to be that way at my old club in Pittsburgh. People would bend over backwards to share a fuck with me.”

 

Justin nodded. “Same here with me,” he said. “When I walk in, everyone’s head turns.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian said, slightly overwhelmed. “Wow…”

 

“So,” Kevin said, trying to lighten the mood. “Can I get you guys a drink?”

 

“Double Jim Beam,” Justin and Brian said in unison. Both turned to stare at the other.

 

Kevin looked at the pair and smiled. “I’ll be right back with those drinks. It looks like you guys sure could use them.”

 

Brian and Justin nodded and continued to be silent as the music played on in the background. Both wanted to ask so many questions, but neither knew how to start.

 

Kevin came back with four drinks, knowing that the boys were going to need more than one. Both men downed the liquid quickly, feeling better after the alcohol hit their system.

 

“You want to get out of here?” Brian asked on a whim. He knew there were several things he and Justin needed to talk about before they went back to work Monday morning, and he figured they might just settle it now.

 

“Sounds good,” Justin said, laying his last shot glass on the bar. “I’m a little hungry…you want to get something to eat.”

 

“Sure,” Brian said. “Any ideas where?”

 

“I know of this diner over on 84,” Justin said. “I figured we could go there.”

 

“You lead the way,” Brian said. “You’re the native.”

 

Justin laughed, and Brian followed him out of the club. Walking to the back where everyone parked, Brian followed Justin to his car. He stopped in front of a dark blue jag.

 

“You drive a jag?” Brian asked.

 

“Yup,” Justin said. “After a couple years of working at BTI, you’ll be able to as well, I’m sure.”

 

Brian smiled and opened the passenger door, displaying the gray, leather interior.

 

“These seats are nice,” Brian said, getting in beside Justin.

 

“Thanks,” Justin said. “It was the artist in me. I waited an extra three weeks so I could have the midnight blue exterior as well.”

 

Brian nodded.

 

“So…which car is yours?” Justin asked.

 

Brian laughed, a little embarrassed now of the car he had always loved.  “It’s that black jeep over there…nothing special.”

 

“That’s cool,” Justin said. “I had a jeep when I was younger actually…I loved them.”

 

“Yeah?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah,” Justin said, as he drove off into the night. After a little while, the boys pulled up in front of Lester’s Diner. They got out of the car and walked inside.

 

“Non smoking or smoking?” the waitress asked the men.

 

Justin turned to Brian. “I smoke, but if you’d rather not be in that area…”

 

“It’s cool,” Brian said. “I smoke too.”

 

The waitress smiled at the two gorgeous men and showed them to their booth. Each man took opposite sides of the booth and the waitress placed the menu in front of them. Brian ordered a coffee, while Justin asked for ice tea.

 

“You don’t drink coffee?” Brian asked.

 

“No, I never have,” Justin said. “Ever since college, I’ve always watched what I eat and drink. Blood pressure problems run in my family, so not drinking coffee is one way I reduce the chances of having problems in the future.”

 

Brian nodded. The waitress brought them their drinks and took out her pad for their order. Since Brian was the new guy, Justin let him order first.

 

“Turkey sandwich on whole wheat, no mayo,” Brian said, handing the woman the menu.

 

Justin laughed.

 

“What?” Brian asked

 

“I’ll have the same,” Justin said to the woman.

 

Brian laughed and leaned back in the booth. “Incredible…” he said.

 

“What?” Justin asked.

 

“It’s just so weird…” Brian said. “I mean…I thought all along that you were straight. Cynthia told me you weren’t married, but I never thought it meant that you were gay.”

 

“That’s exactly what I thought,” Justin said. “I figured you were just divorced or hadn’t found the right woman to settle down with yet. You being gay never crossed my mind.”

 

“This is so fucked up,” Brian said.

 

“I know,” Justin replied. “How are we going to work this over at BTI?  I don’t want people to start getting ideas just because we’re both gay.”

 

“Absolutely not,” Brian agreed. “Does anyone know you’re gay at the firm?”

 

“Yeah…Alex and my assistant Daphne both know,” Justin said.  “Others might have their suspicions, but I’ve never come out and publicly announced it. You?”

 

“My assistant Cynthia knows,” Brian said. “No one else.”

 

“We could just keep it to ourselves,” Justin said. “No one has to know.”

 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Brian said. “Makes things less complicated.”

 

Justin nodded as the waitress brought them their food.

 

“So…,” Justin asked. “Just out of curiosity, do you have a boyfriend?”
 

“No,” Brian said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Do you?”

 

Justin shook his head.  I don’t believe in them. I’m too busy at work to worry about having to please someone else 24-7. I know it’s not conventional, but I believe relationships are bullshit. I mean, all you’re doing is getting to know a person before you fuck them, and I think it’s better to get to the main event right away. It’s fast, it’s efficient, and it gets my needs met without having to worry about all the bullshit,” he said, picking up a French fry.

 

Brian sat there in awe, feeling as if he was sitting in front of his twin.  He couldn’t believe he and Justin shared so many of the same views.

 

Justin saw Brian’s bewildered face and realized he might have been a little too harsh. “I didn’t mean to make it come out like that. I just don’t feel…”

 

“No, it’s fine,” Brian interjected. “I don’t believe in relationships or love either. I fuck them, and then I leave. In and out…just like that.  Brian snapped his fingers to bring his point across.

 

“Well, for once, someone actually agrees with me,” Justin smiled. “I’ve been telling Daphne to lay off the “I need to settle down” line for years, and she never listens. What’s with straight women?”

 

Brian laughed. “I know what you mean. Cynthia’s been doing the same thing to me for years. She never quits. I told her she’s wasting her time, but she’s determined to settle me down like some hetero yet.”

 

“Seems like Cynthia and Daphne could be twins,” Justin laughed.  “When you first came to BTI, Daphne actually came in and told me that she thought you were gay and available and that we should hook up…can you believe her?"

 

Unbelievable,” Brian said, feeling a slight twinge in his chest. Taking out a cigarette to calm him down, he held the pack out to Justin.

 

“Want one?” he offered.

 

“Sure,” Justin said. Brian held out his lighter and lit Justin’s first. The two men just sat there smoking when something popped into Brian’s head.

 

“Justin, we really need to get together some time soon to discuss the Brown Athletics account. We need to throw a new campaign together,” Brian said.

 

Justin nodded. “Are you doing anything tomorrow? I’m free, if you want to get together and work on it.”

 

“Sounds good,” Brian said. “How’s 3:00 at my place? I can give you the directions.”

 

“Cool,” Justin said. 

 

Brian and Justin paid their tabs and got up, heading back to Justin’s car. On the way back to the club, the two men made small talk, each one laughing and enjoying the other’s company. When Justin pulled into the parking lot behind the club, he parked and said his good byes to Brian.

 

“Here’s my address and my phone number at home,” Brian said, writing the information on one of his old business cards. “I’m sure you won’t have any trouble finding it, but if you do, here’s the number you can reach me at.”

 

“Thanks,” Justin said, accepting the card. “See you tomorrow.”

 

“Later,” Brian said, closing the door of the jag.

 

“Later,” Justin said softly as Brian walked back to his jeep. Justin felt a strange pain in his chest. Not knowing what it was, he simply moved the gear shift out of park and rode off into the night.

 

 

*******************

 

 

Justin pulled up outside Brian's building, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He knew it was ridicules to be as nervous as he was. It was only Brian, and they worked together everyday. Why now, was he all of the sudden so restless? It probably had something to do with the information he had learned the night before. He still couldn't believe that Brian was the new stud of the Coliseum. He knew there was a new man on the scene, but he never imagined it would be the hot new partner of BTI. He thought back to when his whole world shifted. He had just gotten a blow job in the back room, and made his way towards the man in the red shirt expecting to find fresh meat. He could have been knocked over with a feather when his eyes came in contact with the hazel eyes that had been invading his thoughts. After they got past the shock of their meeting, they headed to the diner down the street. There they shared some of their views on love and relationships, each one surprised to find that they shared the same beliefs. They also agreed to get together Sunday afternoon to work on the Brown account, which is why Justin was sitting outside in his car contemplating his escape. Shaking his head to clear the strange thoughts that were invading his mind, he got out of the car and headed towards the loft. Brian opened the door seconds after he knocked.

 

"Hey," Brian greeted.

 

"Hey, sorry I'm late. My mother called as I was walking out the door and wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to tell her I was on my way out. You know how mother's can be." Justin explained as he walked inside and placed his briefcase by the couch.

 

"Not really, but I'll take your word for it. Make yourself at home. I was just finishing up some research I was doing on Givenchy. I like to know as much as I can before I begin working on a new account. Give me five minutes. Would you like a beer?" Brian asked, heading towards the kitchen.

 

"Sure, and take your time. I have a few sketches that I was working on based on the concepts we were talking about the other night. I'll just get them out and go over them while you finish up." Justin offered.

 

"Oh, good. I'm anxious to see what you came up with. Here's your beer. I'll be quick." Brian promised as he walked over to his desk and went about saving his work. It only took him a few minutes to finish up. Once he was done he walked over and sat down besides Justin on the couch, ignoring the heat that he could feel course through his body. "Okay, what have you come up with?"

 

They spent the next three hours working on the account. Since they each shared the same ideas, it wasn't too hard to pull everything together. When they were finished, Brian was surprised to see that it was already after six. "Wow, look at the time. I didn't realize how late it got."

 

"Oh, I better get out of your way, then. I didn't mean to waste your afternoon." Justin said, cleaning up his mess. He didn't want to leave, but figured that Brian wanted to be alone.

 

"No, you don't have to go. I just didn't notice the time. I was going to order take out for dinner anyway. Would you like to stay? I dial a mean phone." Brian joked, wanting Justin to stay a little longer. Aside from everything else, he really enjoyed the man's company.

 

"Are you sure? I don't want to keep you from anything." Justin replied.

 

"Chinese or Thai?" Brian asked, getting up to get his growing stack of take out menus.

 

They ordered Chinese and settled on the couch, talking about a couple of accounts while waiting for their food. The phone rang and startled them both. Brian looked at the caller ID and saw it was Lindsay. He thought about not answering it, but knew he had to in case there was something wrong with Gus.

 

"I need to get this." Brian stated while reaching for the phone.

 

"Do you want me to give you some privacy?" Justin offered, ready to leave the room.

 

"No, that's okay. I'll just be a minute." He replied, before answering. "Hello, Lindsay."

 

"Hello, Brian. I am sorry to bother you, but you need to talk to your son. He packed his suitcase while I was cooking dinner and insists on visiting you tonight. I tried to explain that we can't just jump on a plane whenever we want, but he doesn't want to listen. I hate to throw this on to you, but I thought that maybe if he talked to you, it would make him feel better." Lindsay explained.

 

"Shit! Okay, Linds, put him on." Brian told her. He looked at Justin and saw the man watching him with curiosity.

 

"Is everything okay?" He asked, quietly.

 

"I think so. It's my son. Apparently he packed a suitcase and is ready to come for a visit." Brian was stopped from further explanation when he heard his son on the line.

 

"Dada, I'm all packed and ready to come for my visit. When can we leave? Mommy keeps saying no, but you told me I could visit you in Florda." Gus whined.

 

"Hey, Sonny Boy. First of all, it's Florida. Second of all, you can come and visit me, but now is not a good time. I just started at my new job and I'm very busy. Plus, you have school now. You can't miss school whenever you want to. I promise that as soon as the time is right, Mommy will bring you down for a visit, but for now I think you need to go unpack." Brian explained, hoping that Gus would understand.

 

"But Dada, I miss you. I want to see you real bad." Gus said, trying to hold back his tears. His Dada had always told him that big boys didn't cry.

 

"I miss you, too, Sonny Boy. As soon as I can, I'll come home for a visit, but until then we are going to have to settle for talking on the phone, okay?" Brian couldn't help the lump that was forming in his throat at the sound of his son's sad voice.

 

"I guess so, Dada. I'm sorry if I made you and Mommy mad." Gus whimpered.

 

"You didn't make us mad, Gus. We understand that you want to come for a visit. You just have to be patient until it's time. Now, why don't you go unpack your things and have dinner. Once you are all washed up and ready for bed, have Mommy call me and I'll tell you a bedtime story, okay?" Brian offered, hoping to sooth his son for awhile.

 

"Okay, Dada! I'll talk to you later! I love you!" Gus answered, excitedly.

 

"I love you, too, Sonny Boy." Brian replied, before hanging up the phone. He could feel Justin staring at him. "What?"

 

Justin couldn't help but smile at the way Brian talked to his son. The look on his face when he hung up the phone led him to believe that not many people ever saw that side of him. "Nothing. I just think it's sweet the way you talk to your son. It's a side I'm sure no one ever sees but him."

 

"Yeah, well, he's just a kid. I can't exactly be the bastard everyone else knows, can I?" Brian asked, trying to save some of his dignity.

 

"No, I guess you can't." Justin replied, trying to hide his smile. Brian Kinney wasn't fooling him one bit.

 

Brian was saved from having to react by the delivery man who knocked on the door. He took the food into the kitchen and put it on plates. Grabbing a couple more beers, he made his way out to the living room to find Justin looking at the photograph he had of him, Melanie, Lindsay, and Gus. He placed the food down on the coffee table as Justin spoke.

 

"I take it this is Gus. Who are the other women? I guess one of them is Gus's Mommy?" Justin asked, intrigued by Brian's past now that he was getting a glimpse into the man's life.

 

"Actually, they both are. The blond is his birth mother, Lindsay. The brunette is Melanie. She is Lindsay's wife and Gus's other mother. They are raising him together." Brian explained, wondering why it seemed so easy to talk to him.

 

"Wow! I can't imagine having two mothers. I have my hands full with one when it comes to her trying to run my life and set me up with a nice boy. Poor Gus is in for it as he gets older." Justin laughed, imagining having to deal with two Jennifer's.

 

"Damn! I never thought about that. Poor kid." Brian agreed with a chuckle. He hated having one mother. He would have killed himself if there were two Joan Kinney's.

 

As they sat down and ate their dinner, the conversation was flowing between talk of politics to their own personal goals for the future. It amazed them both how much they really had in common. When they started talking about hobbies, Justin admitted to having a love for hiking.

 

"Hiking? You mean like going out into nature with a back pack and scrounging for food?" Brian asked, appalled by the thought.

 

"Well, I don't think scrounging for food is part of hiking. I usually pack some food in my back pack, but yes, going out into nature. There is nothing like leaving your troubles behind and losing yourself in nature." Justin explained.

 

"You sound like a hallmark movie." Brian teased.

  

Justin looked at Brian and could see doubt written all over his face. "Have you ever tried it?"

 

"No. I've never had the desire to search the great outdoors looking for peace and tranquility, or whatever it is that you people do." Brian replied with a smirk.

 

"You mean you are afraid of hiking?" Justin asked, holding back his laughter. He couldn't help but tease Brian and was rewarded by a look of disbelief thrown his way.

 

"I'm not afraid. I just never had a reason to go before." Brian said, uncomfortable with where the conversation was going.

 

"So if I asked you to go with me this weekend, you would go?" Justin asked.

 

"This weekend? Well, I have..." Brian was trying to come up with a logical reason for not going with him.

 

"That's what I thought." Justin said, forcing his attention back to his dinner. He knew he shouldn't be antagonizing Brian, but he couldn't seem to help himself.

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brian asked, feeling his temper rise.

 

"Nothing. I can see that you are afraid... I mean uninterested in going. That's all." Justin had to put a forkful of food in his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

 

Brian stared at the blond. He knew Justin was just trying to get a rise out of him, but he couldn't seem to just let it go. "What time?"

 

"What time, what?" Justin asked, suddenly confused.

 

"What time are we going hiking this weekend?" Brian asked, hoping he wasn't making a big mistake. Brian Kinney, at one with nature. What would the people of Pittsburgh think?

 

"I'm sorry, Brian. I shouldn't have pushed you about it. Hiking isn't for everyone. It's no big deal." Justin replied, feeling bad for having made Brian feel like he had to go.

 

"What time?" Brian insisted, refusing to back down.

 

"Saturday morning at 7? Are you sure? You don't have to do this." Justin assured him, suddenly wondering if being alone with Brian out on the trails was a good move.

 

"I'll be ready at seven. You better not be late." Brian stated.

 

"Oh, don't worry. I'll be here on time." Justin assured him.

 

After dinner was finished they had another beer before Justin looked at the clock.

 

"I should probably be going. I have a few things I want to do tonight, and you will be receiving a phone call from your son soon. Thanks for dinner." Justin said as he grabbed his briefcase.

 

"No problem. Thanks for the work you did on Brown. I will give Leo a call and see how things are progressing on his end. I am anxious to see what Alexandra's reaction is going to be." Brian replied, walking Justin to the door.

 

"She will definitely be shocked, that's for sure. I'll see you in the morning, Brian."

 

"Later, Justin."

 

Brian watched Justin walk away before shutting the door and replaying the evening in his head. "I guess I'm going hiking on Saturday." He couldn't help but wonder how he managed to get himself into these things.

 

As soon as Justin got into his car he reached for his cell phone and called his mother.

 

"Hello?" Jennifer answered.

 

"Hey, Mom. Listen, I need to cancel our plans for Saturday." Justin told her, hoping she wasn't going to ask for an explanation.

 

"Justin! I have been looking forward to our shopping trip for weeks. It took months for me to get you to commit to a Saturday in the first place. What is so important that you feel the need to ditch your mother?" Jennifer asked, disappointment evident in her voice.

 

"I really can't say right now, Mom. Let's just say it has to do with a man." Justin explained.

 

"You have a date? Who is he? Where did you meet him? What's his name?" Jennifer questioned, unable to hide her excitement.

 

"It's not a date. We are going hiking, and that's all I'm going to say for the moment." Justin sighed. Why did she always feel the need to know everything he did?

 

"But, Justin..."

 

"I have to go, Mom. I'll give you a call later in the week." Justin said, before disconnecting the call. He knew she wasn't going to let the matter drop, but at least he'd be able to put her off for awhile. Besides, it wasn't a date. He and Brian were just co-workers, friends, going hiking together. For some reason, that thought didn't make his anxiety over Saturday lessen any. "Shit! What the hell did I do?" He asked out loud to the empty car. One of these days he had to learn to keep his big mouth shut.

 

 

*******************

 

 

Brian was sitting in his office on Monday morning when Cynthia walked in.

 

"Hey Boss, how was your..." She stopped mid sentence.

 

"How was my what?" Brian asked, confused.

 

"What happened to you? You don't have your usual 'I spend my weekend drinking and fucking' look this morning. Is everything okay?"

 

"Yes, everything is fine. It was just a quiet weekend, that's all. I do have them occasionally, you know." Brian replied with a chuckle.

 

"Oh, I know. I didn't mean for it to sound so bad. I guess I was just surprised. Anyway, how was your weekend?"

 

"Good, actually. I got a lot of work done. How about you?" He asked, wondering if he should share the information he learned with Cynthia just yet.

 

"Mine was very good. Daphne and I had dinner together on Friday Night." She said, waiting to see if Brian questioned her further.

 

"That's nice. You're making friends." Brian replied casually.

 

"Yeah. I really like her. In fact, we plan on getting together again soon."

 

"Good. I'm happy for you." Brian could tell that there was more to the story and wondered just what his and Justin's assistants were up to.

 

"We had a nice, long talk during dinner." Cynthia tried again to stir his curiosity.

 

"Go ahead, spill it!" Brian said.

 

"Spill what?" Cynthia asked innocently.

 

"Whatever it is that you are dying to tell me." Brian replied.

 

Cynthia walked over and closed the door before continuing. "Justin is gay! I told you he was. He's also available, in case you were curious." She explained.

 

"I know." Brian replied dryly.

 

"You know? But how..." Cynthia asked in shock.

 

"Apparently we hang out in the same place. Imagine my surprise. I am dancing at the Coliseum and feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turn around in hopes of finding a new trick, I find myself looking into Justin's eyes." Brian explained.

 

"Oh my God! What did you do?" She asked.

 

"I fucked him right there on the dance floor!" Brian joked.

 

"Brian!"

 

"What do you think I did? We laughed at the situation then went to a diner and got something to eat." Rising from his chair, he walked around and leaned against the front of his desk, waiting for her to continue.

 

"Is that all?" She continued, trying to figure out what had happened between the two men.

 

"Well, we agreed to meet at my place yesterday to work on the Brown account. He came over, we worked on the Brown account, and he left."

 

"Nothing happened?"

 

"No, Cynthia. Nothing happened, and nothing ever will happen. We work together, remember? After what happened back in Pittsburgh, do you really think I am going to mess with the help again? Now don't you have something more important to do other than interfere in my life?" Brian asked, giving her his silent warning to drop the subject.

 

"Alright, I'll go. You know you are going to have to grow up someday, right?" She asked, as she headed towards the door.

 

"I know no such thing!" Brian laughed as he took his seat again, preparing for the weekly meeting.

 

Justin was just getting ready for the meeting when Daphne walked in.

 

"Hey Boss, how was your weekend?"

 

"It was quiet and uneventful." Justin replied, not wanting to get into a conversation about Brian this early in the day.

  

"You had a quiet weekend?" She asked incredulously.

 

"Why do you sound so shocked?" He teased.

 

"Justin, you live for your wild weekends. Are you getting sick?" She asked, feeling his fore head.

 

Justin pulled back laughing. "No, I'm not getting sick. I just had some things to do. Should I have checked with you first?"

 

"Don't be an ass! Anyway, you will never guess who I went out with on Friday night." Daphne asked with excitement.

 

"You mean you actually went out with a man? A straight man?" Justin teased, knowing that she had taken a break from dating after her last boyfriend disaster.

 

"No, it wasn't a man. Cynthia and I had dinner." She told him.

 

Justin's mind flashed on to his dinner with Brian, and he shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Oh. Did you have a good time?"

 

"He's gay, Justin!" She blurted out.

 

"Who's gay?" Justin asked casually, as if he didn't know.

 

"Brian, you fool. He's gay, just like I said he was." She explained in exasperation.

 

"That's nice." He replied, suddenly interested in the file in front of him.

 

"That's nice? What do you mean, that's nice? Aren't you even the least bit surprised?"

 

"No, not really." Justin replied.

 

"You knew! You knew he was gay!" Daphne exclaimed. "When were you going to tell me?"

 

"First of all, it's none of your business. Second of all, I just found out myself on Saturday night." Justin explained.

 

"Alright, start talking. What happened?" She took a seat across from him, waiting to hear his story.

 

Justin could tell by the look in his friends eyes that she wasn't going anywhere until she heard the whole story. "I was at the Coliseum listening to everybody talk about the hot new stud in town. He was out on the dance floor, so I went over to...introduce myself. I couldn't believe it when he turned around and it was Brian. We laughed about it. End of story."

 

"End of story? You mean you and he didn't..."

 

"No, and we are not going to. Daphne, you know my policy, and Brian has the same policy. There is no way either of us can let something happened, even if we want it to. It would make working together too awkward. Now enough about this. Let me get back to these files, so I am ready for the meeting." Justin dismissed her and went back to work.

 

"Fine, whatever, Justin. Just remember that one day you are going to wish you had someone to go home to every night. I know if it were me, I would want someone like Brian to be that person. Intelligent, hot body, gorgeous...what a combination!" Daphne said as she walked out of his office.

 

Justin forced his thoughts on the files in front of him. He didn't have time to thing about all the things Daphne just pointed out. Even if some of them were true.

 

Daphne waited until she was sure that the meeting was well underway before calling her partner in crime.

 

"This is Cynthia."

 

"Cyn, it's me, Daphne." Daphne said quietly into the phone.

 

"Hey Daph, what's up?" Cynthia asked, wondering why the woman was talking so low.

 

"Did you talk to Brian about his weekend?" Daphne asked, looking around to make sure no one was listening to her.

 

"As soon as I came in. I take it you talked to Justin and heard about their weekend. What did he say?" She asked, anxious to hear Justin's thoughts.

 

"Oh, that man! He said nothing happened between them, and nothing was going to. I wanted to smack him upside his thick head. What about Brian?"

 

"Same here. I have never met two such stubborn people. What should we do now?" Cynthia asked, trying to come up with a plan of action.

 

"I'm not sure. How about we get together, say Thursday night, and put our heads together. There has to be a way to get through to them."

 

"Thursday sounds good. Do you want to come over to my place? I just finished decorating it and I am dying to show it off." Cynthia admitted.

 

"That sounds good. We'll talk later in the week and I'll get your address. Shit! I gotta go. Steve is lurking about down here and the last thing we need is someone catching on to our plan. I'll see you at lunch." Daphne said, hanging up the phone. Now all she had to do was get her mind off Brian and Justin and on to work, before Justin figured out she was up to something. He could read her too well.

 

Cynthia hung up the phone and thought about what Daphne had said. She probably should stay out of Brian's life, but if it was up to him, he would end up being alone for the rest of his life. No, she owed it to him to help him see what was right in front of him. At least that was what she was going to keep telling herself to ease her guilt.

 

 

*******************

 

 

Justin walked out of his office on Tuesday morning and spoke to Daphne at her desk.

 

“Daph, tell anyone who calls that I’m in a meeting,” Justin said. “Alex, Brian, and I are meeting the CEO of Givenchy today.”

 

“No problem boss,” Daphne said, smiling away. “Hope everything goes well.”

 

“I’m sure it will,” Justin said.

 

“Don’t have too much fun,” Daphne called out as Justin walked to the elevator. Ever since she had found out that Justin knew that Brian was gay, she was even more convinced that Brian and Justin were meant to be.

 

Justin glared back at his assistant, except this time, he didn’t feel quite as annoyed. He knew what Daphne was referring to, but today it didn’t seem to get to him. Getting into the elevator, he brushed those thoughts aside, knowing he had a very important meeting ahead of him. When the elevator stopped on the right floor, Justin got off and headed to the conference room.  There, he reached for the door handle at the same time Brian did.

 

“Hey,” Brian said as he lifted his hand off Justin’s, the brief contact causing his heart to beat rapidly.

 

“Hey,” Justin replied, clearing his voice to cover up his nervousness.  “Ready to do this?”

 

“Absolutely,” Brian said, giving Justin one of his smiles.

 

“Then let’s do it,” Justin said, turning the door knob. He was greeted by Alex’s smiling face as soon as they came through the door.

 

“Justin, Brian, you’re here!” Alex said. “I can’t wait until you meet Mr. Badeau. He should be here any minute. I know he’s going to be impressed by the people who managed to come up with a brilliant campaign… so brilliant, that he actually wanted to change his current one. The three sat in the conference room chatting for a few minutes when Steve knocked and entered the conference room.

 

“Ms. Turner, Mr. Badeau is here,” he said.

 

“Wonderful…you can show him in,” Alex said, looking over at the guys.  “It’s show time,” she said. Brian and Justin laughed, as Steve opened the door and Mr. Badeau stepped inside.

 

“Mr. Badeau,” Alex said, making her way over to shake the man’s hand.  “It’s so good to see you again.”

 

“And it’s wonderful to see you again Ms. Turner,” the man said, taking Alex’s hand and placing a kiss on the top of it. 

 

Alex blushed. “Please, it’s Alexandra.”

 

“As it is Maurice to you,” he said.

 

“Well, Maurice, I would like for you to meet the men who put together your campaign. “This is Brian, our junior partner.” Alex said.

 

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Badeau,” Brian said, shaking the man’s hand firmly.

 

“Nice to make your acquaintance Brian,” Maurice said.

 

“And this is Justin Taylor, head of the art department,” Alex continued.

 

“Ahh…the one who came up with the creative design, no?” Maurice asked.

 

“Yes,” Justin said, also shaking the man’s hand. “I was the one who did the art work.”

 

“You did a fine job Justin,” Maurice said. “I haven’t been impressed with a design like that in years.”

 

“I’m glad you liked it,” Justin said.

 

“Gentlemen, why don’t we all sit down so we can get this meeting underway?” Alex offered politely. The men took her suggestion and sat down, with Maurice at the head of the table.

 

“Now, I believe we scheduled this meeting today not only so you could meet the guys, but so you also hear their ideas about the campaign, since they were the ones who created it,” Alex said.

 

“Yes,” Mr. Badeau agreed. “I would love to hear what your plans are for the campaign in the next six months.”

 

Brian talked with Mr. Badeau extensively about his ideas for the campaign…about which demographic to sell it to, which magazines to feature it in, and he even went over some of Givenchy’s financial history, allowing him to know how national sales would increase if everything went as expected . When it came down to design issues, Justin threw in his ideas for commercial concepts and billboard advertisements, as well as magazine spreads. Alex watched the two men talk back in forth, as if they were in perfect rhythm. Sometimes, they even finished each other’s sentences.  It was unbelievable. She knew she had the best creative team in all of Florida.

 

When the meeting was over, Mr. Badeau shook all of their hands again, thanking them for all the time and effort they had put into his campaign.

 

“I must say, you three make an excellent team,” Mr. Badeau commented. “I haven’t changed my advertising company in twenty years, but you guys knocked me off my feet. Overall sales have been slowly decreasing over the years, but I’m hoping with your ideas that they’ll sky rocket again.”

 

“And we certainly hope they do,” Brian agreed. 

 

“Thank you again,” Mr. Badeau said, as Alex saw the man out. When she came back, Brian and Justin were sitting at the conference table, talking about the campaign.

 

“Guys, I have to say that I’m impressed,” Alex said. “You two thoroughly amazed him…it was as if you were one person!”

 

Brian and Justin chuckled at the irony of that statement, but let it pass.

“Well, I think you guys should take an extended lunch,” Alex said. “You’ve definitely earned it. I’m glad you guys are getting along so well. Your working relationship is forming quite nicely. See you later.”

 

Alex walked out of the conference room and Brian and Justin got up from the table. Walking outside the room, Justin looked at his watch and realized it was already close to noon.

 

“So…” Justin said. “You want to grab lunch together?”

 

“Sure,” Brian said. “Let me just go back to my office to drop a few things off. I’ll meet you in your office, since it’s on the way down.”
 

“Alright,” Justin said, smiling away. As he walked down the hall back to the elevator, he couldn’t get the silly grin off his face. For once in his life, he just felt genuinely happy.           

 

  

**************

 

 

By Thursday night, Cynthia had all but erased the guilt she had been feeling about her and Daphne plotting against Brian and Justin. All week at work she had noticed a closeness between the two men that wasn't there before the weekend. They seemed not only to work well together, but enjoy each other's company, too. Most days they worked together behind closed doors, and even had a few lunches together. It appeared that their relationship, whatever it was, was forming nicely. Now all she and Daphne had to do was get them to see each other in a more romantic light. That was where she hit a block in the road. She wasn't sure what they needed to do to make that happen. Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. She opened the door and came face to face with one of the objects of her thoughts.

 

"Brian!" She exclaimed in surprise.

 

"Hey, Cyn. Sorry to just drop by like this, but I need a favor and I didn't want to wait until tomorrow. I am going in late and wanted to have you get working on this project first thing." Brian explained as he walk past her.

 

"That's okay. You know you are always welcome here. What's up? Why are you going to be late?" She was surprised to hear he would be coming in late. That was unusual for him.

 

"I'm going hiking on Saturday, so I need to go out and do some shopping. I've tried to do it all week, but haven't been able to get out of the office early enough. The only thing open by the time I get off is the club." Brian explained.

 

"You're going hiking? As in going out in nature?" Cynthia asked, shocked.

 

"Yeah, that's usually where people hike, isn't it?" Brian replied sarcastically.

 

"Yes, it is, but Brian? Since when are you the outdoors type? You don't even like walking down the street!" Cynthia exclaimed, wondering what got into him.

 

"That's not true, Cynthia. And besides, I need to have something to do on my days off. We're not in Pittsburgh anymore. It's time I started doing new things. Now are you going to listen to what I need you to do?" he asked, changing the subject. There was no way he wanted her to know who he was going with and why. He didn't even know why himself.

 

Brian left after explaining exactly what he needed her to do, and Cynthia sat waiting for Daphne in shock. She couldn't figure out what was behind this sudden change in Brian and she was starting to worry. She barely heard Daphne knock on her door.

 

"Hey, Daph." She said as she led the women inside.

 

"Hey Cyn, is everything alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." Daphne asked, sensing something was wrong.

 

"More like a pod person. Brian was just here. He said he was going to be in late tomorrow because he had to go shopping for a hiking trip he's taking on Saturday. I've known the man for years and he has never showed any interest in the outdoors. I was just trying to figure out what was going on with him. You know what? Never mind. It doesn't matter." Cynthia said, trying to push away her thoughts.

 

"Maybe it does. He's going hiking?" Daphne asked, with a smile.

 

"Yeah, that's what he said. Why?" Cynthia asked.

 

"Because that is Justin's favorite past time. He usually goes hiking twice a month at least." Daphne explained.

 

"Do you think..."

 

"Of course! If Brian isn't the hiking type, then Justin must be the reason for his change. I bet if I asked Justin what he's doing on Saturday...in fact..." Daphne stopped talking and pulled out her cell phone, dialing Justin's number. Cynthia sat by and listened to the one sided conversation.

 

"Hey, Justin. I need to get some shopping done on Saturday. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me." She asked with a smile on her face.

 

"Oh, you're going hiking? Really? Yeah, well never mind then. I'll call my mother and see if she wants to go. Thanks anyway. I'll see you in the morning." She disconnected the phone and broke out in laughter.

 

"Wow! I guess that explains that." Cynthia said between giggles.

 

"What are we going to do with them?" Daphne asked, rhetorically.

 

"I guess locking them in a room until they...well, you know...is out of the question, huh?" Cynthia asked, teasingly.

 

"For now, although who knows how far we might have to go in the future." Daphne replied with a laugh.

 

The two women sat curled up on either end of the couch, drinking wine, talking, and laughing at their bosses for the rest of the evening, looking forward to the day when their plan would work. Just so they could say 'I told you so'.

  

 

*******************

 

 

Justin walked into the Coliseum on Friday night, happy to be back at the club. It had been almost a week since he had come back. The last time he had been there was last Saturday…the night he had found out Brian Kinney was gay. He hadn’t been back because he had gotten busy with work, staying late at BTI some nights to finish things up. Once he got home, all he wanted to do was eat and go to bed. Now that it was the weekend though, he wanted to get some serious dancing done. Walking over to the bar, he noticed heads turning to look at him and smiled. Things had started to go back to normal.

 

“Working again I see,” Justin said to Kevin.

 

“Got to pay the bills somehow,” Kevin said. 

 

“I can respect that,” Justin said. “I just wish you had off a few nights. We haven’t danced together in a while.”

 

“Well, I had off Tuesday and Wednesday night, but you never showed,” Kevin said, grabbing a glass to get Justin his usual.

 

“I know…I’ve been busy at work,” Justin said. 

 

“Perhaps due to a certain sexy coworker?” Kevin asked.

 

“It’s not like that,” Justin said. “We’re just friends.”

 

“I’m sure,” Kevin said, serving Justin his beam. “Next thing I know, you’ll be fucking him in the backroom.”

 

Justin shook his head. “Doubt it,” he commented. “Brian and I work together…although we both might be attractive, we can’t go and fuck each other. It would ruin our professional relationship.”

 

“Yes, and that’s always mattered to Justin Taylor,” Kevin said.  “C’mon…where’s the Justin Taylor I used to know…the one who fucked anyone with no complications, no bullshit?”

 

“Here’s still here,” Justin said, downing the shot. “I just have limits, and Brian’s off limits. It’s too risky.”

 

Kevin sighed. “Want another?” he asked.

 

“Nah…I’m good,” Justin said. Looking out into the crowd, he spotted Brian immediately, dancing with a young blonde. Turning away, Justin said goodbye to Kevin and went off in search of his own dance partner. After he found a suitable match, Justin yanked him to the dance floor and started almost seducing the man, right in Brian’s line of vision.

 

When the song changed, Brian looked up from his dance partner and saw Justin, heavily into the music. The boy was doing quite the moves…Brian had never seen anything hotter. He was practically fucking the guy on the dance floor. Abandoning his partner, Brian went over to Justin and tapped him on the shoulder.

 

“Mind if I cut in?” he asked.

 

“Brian,” Justin said, acting casual. A little disappointed, he said, “No…go right ahead. Justin turned to walk away and Brian pulled on his arm.

 

“I meant with you,” Brian said.

 

“Oh,” Justin said, smiling. “Sure…you like to dance?”

 

“It’s alright,” Brian said. “You?”

 

“I love it,” Justin said. “Besides art, advertising, and sex, it’s up there in my top five.”

 

Brian chuckled. “Well then…let me see your moves.”

 

Justin immediately started dancing to the beat, pulling his hottest moves to grab Brian’s attention. He didn’t know why he cared what Brian thought of his dance moves…but for some reason, he felt the need to impress the man.

 

Brian watched Justin move and just couldn’t help himself from becoming erect. The man was completely hot, and as much as Brian knew that it wasn’t a good idea to think that way about Justin, he just couldn’t contain himself. Trying to match Justin’s style, they danced together closely, rubbing bodies at times. The two kept getting closer as the song went on.

 

“So…,” Brian said, trying to get his mind off of Justin’s hot body. “Where have you been the last few days?”

 

Justin looked up at Brian and shrugged. “I don’t know…I just haven’t felt like coming here. Working all these late nights recently, all I’ve wanted to do is go home and crawl in bed.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Brian said. “Sometimes life gets so intense…however, I usually end up getting laid to cure that.”

 

Justin laughed. “Me too…this week has been unusual for me.”

 

“I just wanted to make sure that the reason you didn’t come wasn’t because of me,” Brian said. “That you felt uncomfortable or something…”

 

“Oh no,” Justin said. “That’s not it at all.”

 

“Cool,” Brian said. “I mean…this was your hangout first.”

 

“And now, it’s ours,” Justin said without thinking.

 

Brian and Justin looked into each other’s eyes, oblivious to the fact that the crowd had stepped back to watch the couple dance. Brian and Justin’s conversation soon ceased, having lost themselves in the music completely. 

 

Kevin saw the people step back from the dance floor and looked out to see what the commotion was all about. Just as he expected, he noticed Brian and Justin dancing together…so close together, that they looked like they were one. “Just friends,” he muttered to himself as he shook his head. He knew there was more to that relationship than just friendship, especially since he knew how Justin felt about Brian before he knew the man was gay.  He knew it was only a matter of time before the King and his new stud would be together after all.   

 

 

End of part 4

12/23/03   

 

Return to Breaking Internal Barriers