2000

Wednesday morning Will awoke at his usual time. He worked out, took a shower, and went to his study to prepare for his trip to Phoenix the following day. He would be going alone since Leah had decided to pass on this trip. One of his more active accounts was located there and she had been plenty of times. He was going to fly out Thursday morning, meet with the client Thursday afternoon and again on Friday, then catch a flight home that evening. In the past, Leah had gone with him and they had made a weekend of it.

"Knock, Knock"

Will looked up to see James standing at his door. "Hey James, what's up?"

"You got a minute?"

"Sure. Have a seat. What's on your mind?" Will asked. Most of their conversations were through Leah. They didn't have too many face-to-face talks.

James sat in one of the chairs in the study. He looked down at his hands and fidgeted around in the chair for a bit before finally taking a breath and looking Will in the eye. "I know you guys bought my half of the house, but I was wondering if I could move back home for a while. I would be willing to pay rent, but it would be nice if I could stay here while I look for a job and stuff."

"Why are you asking me? Have you asked Leah?"

"No, I haven't said anything to her."

"So why are you asking me?" Will asked again.

"Because I know she will say 'yes' even if it was going to be an issue. I know you'll be honest with me. I don't want to cause any problems, it would just be easier for me to stay here for a while," James admitted.

"You and Jane are done?" Usually James stayed three or four days and then Jane would take him back.

"Yes."

"Why come back here? Why not stay in sunny California?" Will was surprised that James would choose Minneapolis over Orange County.

James looked at him and said, "This is home." It seemed obvious to him.

Will smiled. "Of course you can stay here James." He knew Leah would have his ass if he told James anything else, but honestly, he didn't mind. "Do you have a plan? I thought this trip was a spur of the moment thing."

James smirked, "Jane and I have been over for a while, but neither one of us had the balls to end it. As for 'sunny California', it's not all it's cracked up to be. I want to get serious about my writing. I know you think it's just a hobby, but I really would like to see it become more than that. I have had a few short stories published in a couple of magazines you know?"

"Really?" Will said. "No, I didn't know that. So do you plan to get a job while you are writing or just live off me?" Will wasn't trying to be catty, but with James you just never knew.

James rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, I plan to get a real job. Jeez do you really think that little of me?"

Will chuckled at that, "No I don't think badly of you, I'm just never sure what to expect from you."

"So it is okay for me to stay here?"

"Yes, it is. Go work out the details with Leah."

"I'd rather it be between you and me."

Wow, maybe James was growing up. "Okay, what do you think would be fair for rent?"

James and Will spent another hour going over the details of their arrangement and then just kicking back and visiting. It wasn't something that happened very often. Will was impressed with the changes he was seeing in James. Maybe he was finally becoming a man.

Later that afternoon the curiosity was killing Leah.

"What was all that about with James this morning?" she asked Will as they were having a late lunch.

"He wants to move back here," Will said.

"To Minneapolis?" Leah was surprised. She figured even if James and Jane didn't get back together he would still go back to California.

"To Minneapolis, to our house."

"Really? Wow. And you said?" Leah was afraid Will had told James that he 'needed to be responsible for himself'.

"I told him that it would be fine. Why? Isn't it okay with you?" It killed Leah when he acted all nonchalant.

"Of course it's okay with me, you're the one who has issues with him," she said.

"I don't have issues with him, I just would like to see him… "

"I know I know, 'take responsibility' yeah, yeah," Leah interrupted.

Will smiled. "Well yes, but I am not totally heartless you know. He asked if it would be okay for him to move back home for a few months, I said I was fine with it."

"I'm gonna miss you tomorrow you know," Leah smiled reaching across the table and taking Will's hand. "Want to get lucky before you go?"

Thursday morning Leah got up to drive Will to the airport. She had lain awake most of the night fretting over her upcoming doctor's appointment. She felt guilty for not saying anything to Will, but it was too late now.

"Leah? You okay?" Will could sense something was bothering her.

"Yeah, just too early in the morning for me," she said sitting in the passenger seat as Will drove the car to the terminal.

"I'll be back tomorrow night. Besides you have James to keep you company."

"I know. I'm just being silly. Sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm just not sure why you're so maudlin this morning."

"Me neither. Sorry"

Will pulled the car up to the loading zone, popped open the trunk, and said, "Leah, I'll call you tonight. Okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Really."

"I love you." He kissed her gently.

"I love you too Will. Have a safe trip." They got out of the car. Leah ran around to get in the driver's seat. "See you tomorrow night."

"Bye Leah," Will said, as he headed into the terminal. Leah drove off with tears streaming down her face. On the drive home it hit her just how much she wanted Will to be with her on Friday.

When Leah got back home, James was still asleep. She crawled back into her own bed and tried to sleep, but her brain wouldn't stop thinking of tomorrow. She should have told Will. He was going to be disappointed that she didn't tell him. He would want to have been there. Maybe it would all be nothing and she could laugh about how scared she had been. No, it would not be something to laugh about. Even if it turned out to be nothing, she still would not be able to laugh about it, neither would Will. She should have told him. Finally Leah drifted off into a fitful sleep.

She woke up a few hours later to the smell of bacon frying. James must be up cooking breakfast. This she had to see.

"James? Are you cooking?" Leah stood in the doorway of the kitchen still in her robe.

"Don't act so surprised! I can do some things for myself you know."

"Pfft, Yeah, right." Leah sat down at the table. "Do I get any?"

"Not if you don't start being nicer to me," James teased. "Did you get Will off on his trip?"

"Yeah," Leah was suddenly subdued again.

James noticed but decided not to say anything. He finished frying up the bacon and eggs, made up two plates and sat down with Leah for a late breakfast.

"Will said you're moving back home," Leah had waited long enough for James to bring it up.

"Is that okay with you?" He looked at her sincerely.

"Of course! James you know it's okay with me, but why didn't you say something? Why did you go to Will first?"

James shrugged, "Does it hurt your feelings that I did?"

Leah thought for a moment. "No, just surprises me. It surprises me that you're moving back too."

"I went to Will because I knew he would be honest with me, that you would have a harder time saying 'no' if it was going to be a problem."

"And you're moving home because?"

"Because California isn't where I belong. I'm not sure where I do belong, but it isn't there. I need to decompress, start over maybe. I really want to get serious about my writing. I think I can do that here. There are too many distractions out there."

"Not even any hope for you and Jane?"

James shook his head, "It had been over for awhile; she just needed a reason to end it. I gave her one."

"James. That was shitty. You know you could have just ended it. You didn't have to be a shit to her."

"I didn't cheat on her to hurt her Leah. I didn't mean for it to happen at all. God. Do you really think I am that much of a bastard?"

"You have been known to be," she smirked.

James smiled, "Thanks. It's nice to know I always have you in my corner." He changed the subject, "What do you have planned for these two days on your own?" It was an innocent enough question.

The blood drained from Leah's face. "Um, nothing really. Why?"

"Just wondered, thought maybe we could rent some movies, or maybe go out. I don't know, just thought we could do something." By now James had caught on that something was wrong, he just wasn't sure what.

"Um, movies sound good. You want to go out later and pick some up?"

"Sure. You come with me?"

"Nah, I'll just stay home."

"Now how will I know what to get? You never like my taste in movies anyway. You better come along and voice your opinion."

"Okay, whatever," Leah laughed. Everyone says she can't tell James 'no', but the truth was that he won't let her say 'no'.

After breakfast, James spent a few hours in his room. Leah assumed he was writing, or maybe he was on the phone with Jane. She left him alone and spent some time on the internet. She looked up information on breast cancer and tried not to be afraid of what she read. She knew she was getting ahead of herself, she didn't even know for sure what the doctor had found. Still, what else could it be? If it is was cancer she was pretty sure they were catching it early, but the statistics were still frightening.

"Are you ready to go?" James walked into the den to find Leah at the computer. She jumped at the sound of his voice. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you," he snickered at her.

"Ha ha James. You're really a shit, you know."

He couldn't help but laugh at her, "Come on, let's go get some movies."

As James was driving to the local Blockbuster, he couldn't help but ask, "Leah, what's going on?"

"What? Um, nothing. Why do you ask?" She was trying to sound nonchalant.

"Well you're being so secretive. Something is going on. You obviously don't want to talk about it."

Damn him. He always could read her too well. "Nothing is going on. Nothing." Why didn't she just tell him she wondered? Just say it. But she couldn't.

James said nothing more, but kept glancing at her as he drove. Something was going on. He was sure of that. He would wait until later to press her about it more.

When they got back home from renting the movies, Leah asked what he wanted for dinner. They had skipped lunch since they had had such a late breakfast.

"Want to get take out?" James asked.

"Sure, what do you want?

"Chinese?" Of course, James loved Chinese.

"Okay."

"Does Golden Dragon still deliver?" It had been his favorite place to eat when he was a kid.

"You know the number, go order our usual," Leah laughed. Some things never change.

After they had munched down on General Tao's Chicken and Crab Ragoon, they sat down to watch a movie. While the previews were running, James decided to try again.

"What do you have planned for tomorrow?" he asked. This question seemed to upset her earlier when he asked it. As the color drained from Leah's face, James knew he had hit a nerve.

"Um, just um, I have to go, um, to um…"

"Leah? Just say it."

She looked at him for a moment and then the tears started to come. She tried to hold them back but the dam finally burst.

"Leah?" James moved over to the sofa where she was sitting. "Leah? Hey? What is it?" She continued to cry, not able to get the words out. James took her into his arms as she sobbed. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she was able to get her emotions under control enough to tell him.

"My doctor called; there is a problem with my last mammogram. He wants me to come in for an exam and to discuss my 'options'."

"Leah? What does that mean? Is it cancer?" He was as scared as she was.

"I don't know James. I don't know anything except what I just told you."

"You haven't told Will." It wasn't a question. There was no way Will would have gone to Phoenix if he knew.

"No."

"Why? He would want to be there with you tomorrow."

"I don't know James, I just couldn't tell him. I just couldn't tell anyone."

"How long have you known?"

"Um, the doctor called me Tuesday afternoon."

"Tuesday? Leah? You've known all this time?" She just nodded her head and started sobbing again. James pulled her to him and leaned back on the sofa. They sat like that, with Leah sobbing onto his chest until James realized she had cried herself to sleep. Sitting there it occurred to James that Leah probably had gotten very little sleep since Tuesday.

© Melina Catts 2004