Conversations

Chapter 3

"Are you still dating JP?" I ask my son.

"No, he doesn't want to sleep with me."

"Oh, well, that's a reason to break it off," I laugh.

"I have enough people that don't want to have sex with me. I don't need a boyfriend to add to that list."

"Let's see, and Dan is history."

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Remember I talked about how I couldn't figure out how he drove that fancy new car and had that great apartment on his wages as a waiter?"

"Yeah, so what? He's dealing drugs?" I'm always the optimist.

"No, mother. But he finally admitted that he doesn't wait tables, he owns the restaurant."

"And he didn't tell you this before?" I am so confused.

"He said he is uncomfortable with people knowing."

"Why?"

"I don't know, doesn't want them to just be after his money, I guess."

"So are you still seeing him or not?"

"Hell, yeah."

"He suddenly got better looking when you found out he had money?"

"Yeah. Duh," he laughs. "Oh and I'm seeing someone else."

"Yeah? Who's that?" I ask.

"His name is Brock. He's a software developer from San Fran."

"Sounds promising. How old?"

"Twenty-eight."

"Sounds better all the time."

"Yeah, well, he's just here for a few months and he has a boyfriend back home."

"But, he's dating you?"

"Yeah, I guess they have an open relationship."

"To see other people? Or to have a relationship with other people?"

"Yeah, I know. I figure they must not be too happy. But it's weird dating someone who's already in a relationship."

"So you don't like having a backdoor man?"

"Mother? I beg your pardon?" He sounds quite offended.

Then I realize he doesn't understand. "Not like that dear!" I laugh. "It's a term we straights use to describe a married man having an affair. A backdoor man - because since he has to sneak around he'll use the back door to your house… not your backdoor. Jeez."

"Oh," he's laughing now too. "I thought that was a pretty personal comment there."

"I know, you will never tell me, top or bottom?"

"Mother?"

"Oh, come on, pitcher or catcher?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"Maybe you're just versatile?"

"Good-bye Mother."

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