Return to Me

"You are such an asshole!" Justin yelled as he stormed into the loft. "I am so tired of this! This was our date. The one night you and I are supposed to spend together without the bullshit, without the family, and without the tricks. It's supposed to be just you and me, but you just couldn't do it, could you! No! You had to go and fuck that guy in the bathroom!"

Brian was angry as well, and was sick of Justin yelling at him. "I don't see what the fuck you're so mad about. You know what I'm like. I never pass up a good opportunity."

Justin whirled to face Brian. "I know! But I'm the one that the tricks smirk at! I'm the one that gets looked down on as if I'm nothing and I'm sick of it!"

Brian walked past Justin to the bar and grabbed the bottle of Beam. "As I've said before, we're not breeders or munchers. We don't have locks on our doors and I'm not about to put one on."

Justin looked at Brian's turned back. "You're right."

Brian waited to hear what else Justin had to say. He heard him walking and was prepared to give in and accept Justin's apology for queening out and to get on with the rest of the evening's festivities. Instead he heard the loft door slam shut. Turning, he couldn't keep the surprise from his face as he realized that he was alone.

The little shit left! Brian couldn't believe it. Well he'd be back. Brian took a swig of the Beam and walked to the bedroom. Justin always came back, and he would be here waiting to blow off his excuses and get down to the make up sex.

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Justin quietly let himself into Daphne's and went into the bedroom he occasionally used. Sighing, he took off his clothes and crawled into bed. He tried to get comfortable, but his anger was still there, stirring up replays of the evening. He finally decided that this time he wasn't going back until Brian acknowledged that he was wrong. With this in mind he finally fell asleep.

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Brian woke up still dressed, clutching an empty bottle and with the realization that Justin hadn't returned. Well fine. If the twat wanted to pout, he'd let him. He'd come back when he was done. Brian crawled out of bed with a moan and went to get ready for work.

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Justin rolled over with a moan as the sun hit his face.

"Time to get up, Justin! You forgot to set your alarm. You're going to be late for class!" Daphne yelled from the kitchen as she poured herself a cup of coffee. Stepping into the hall as she took a sip, Daphne shook her head as she watched Justin cover his head with a pillow. It was a good thing that she was a light sleeper and had heard him come in. Sighing, she wondered what was wrong this time.

Stuffing her books into her book bag, she looked around and grabbed her purse as she walked to the door. "Justin! I'm leaving! You'd better get up!"

"I'm up!" Justin yelled as he heard the front door shut.

Justin grabbed his head as he sat up and moaned. "What a mess. Well, I'm not giving in this time. He's going to have to think about what is wrong and apologize."

Justin felt tears well up in his eyes at the thought. Yeah right, as if Brian ever apologized for anything. What was he going to do? Getting up, he walked slowly into the bathroom and took a shower. For now, he was going to have to continue as if nothing was wrong or he wouldn't make it through the day. There would be plenty of time to think about what he was going to do tonight.

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Brian sat at his desk, looking over the contracts that he had just got signed and smiled. Another satisfied client. The day might have started out for shit but that had changed once he'd gotten to the office. He'd had two meetings this morning and everything had gone as planned. Brian closed the file when he heard the knock on his door followed by Cynthia who had come in without waiting for an answer.

"Brian, if you have those contracts ready, I'd like to get them taken care of before I go to lunch. Is there anything I can get for you while I'm out?" Cynthia asked as she took the file Brian handed her.

Brian shook his head. "No, that's okay. I think I'll run down to the diner and grab something there."

Cynthia laughed. "Don't you mean someone?"

Brian smirked. "No, but that's a thought."

Cynthia shook her head as she headed out the door.

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Justin sat in class fiddling with his pencil instead of paying attention to what his teacher was saying. It had been that way in every class he had attended so far, and he knew now that it was a waste of time for him to be there. Finally, he gathered up his books, and with a quick excuse to his teacher, escaped to the solitude of his studio. For awhile, he tried to work on one of his projects. When that didn't work, he tried to draw, to lose himself that way, but finally he threw down his pencil in disgust. Looking at what he had drawn, he sighed. One was of Brian in different poses, with different nameless tricks, all overseen by a pair of sad, hurt eyes. Looking at the other one that he had drawn, it was of him, standing alone near the bottom of the sheet, surrounded by the same nameless tricks with various looks of pity, smirks of triumph, or just plain disgust, as if they thought themselves better than Justin. Behind those men was a waiting line… waiting and leading up to where Brian was being serviced in the corner. Those that had just finished were returning with those same looks to join those surrounding Justin.

Justin shivered and thrust the two drawings carelessly into his bag. Looking at the clock, he noticed that he had missed lunch, and despite how his heart was feeling, his stomach was letting it be known that it wanted food. With a sigh, Justin took his bag, locked the door to his studio and decided to head for the diner. At this time of day, it wouldn't be too busy, and with any luck, Deb wouldn't be there to ask any questions.

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Brian arrived at the diner just as it began to rain. Getting out of the corvette he walked with his head down toward the door. Coming from the other direction was Justin rushing trying to keep from getting any wetter and not paying attention to anything in his path. Both bumped into each other at the front door and Brian reached out to catch Justin to keep him from falling. Unfortunately Justin's bag which had only been on his shoulder fell and spilled its contents.

Justin looked up surprised at Brian. "Th…thanks"

Together they bent down to gather up Justin's things. Brian saw the pictures and picked them up before Justin could stop him. Standing, he looked at each one closely, noticing all the little details. Finally he looked up to say something to Justin, but Justin was no longer there. He faintly recalled hearing Justin say something, but he had been so drawn into the pictures, that he really hadn't been paying that close of attention. But then again, maybe Justin hadn't really said anything and just left.

Walking into the diner, he was grateful to find Debbie not working and none of the gang sitting around. Taking his normal booth in the back, he ordered quickly and laid out Justin's pictures to continue looking over them.

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Justin darted into the alley behind the diner and leaned against the wall. "Damn, damn, damn! What is he doing here!"

Justin closed his eyes and tried to block out the vision of Brian. When he was sure that enough time had passed, he looked around the corner to make sure that Brian wasn't there waiting for him. "Yeah, right. As if he'd really do that."

With his head bowed, he stepped back out onto the sidewalk and made his way back to Daph's. Once inside, he stripped out of his wet clothes, took a shower, and put back on some warm clothes before he went to see what kind of damage his bag had suffered in the spill.

Pulling everything out, he realized that the pictures he had drawn that afternoon were missing. Frantically, he searched through his books and papers, but to no avail. They just weren't there. Justin sat back and thought hard about what could have happened to them. Suddenly his eyes grew wide and he recalled leaving Brian standing outside the diner holding some papers. At the time he had thought that they were Brian's but now he was sure that they were the pictures. The pictures showing how he felt, how Brian's tricks treated him and made him feel. Sitting back he groaned. Now what was he going to do?

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Brian sat at his desk, playing with the stress ball as he looked out the window of his office. He had been back from lunch for over three hours and hadn't gotten a thing done. On his desk were the pictures that Justin had drawn. It was because of them that he just couldn't seem to get Justin out of his mind and it was beginning to piss him off.

Brian still refused to believe that he had done something wrong. He was the same as he'd always been and Justin knew that. He knew that Brian wasn't going to change. But after seeing Justin's feelings spread out before him, he thought over what Justin had been yelling at him about and suddenly couldn't get the words out of his head. He was also recalling the look that had been in Justin's eyes right before he had left.

"Shit!" Brian said as he threw the stress ball across the room. He didn't believe in regrets and he refused to believe in them now, yet he couldn't stop the sadness that seemed to fill him. The more he thought about it, and the more he argued that he hadn't done anything wrong, the more he told himself that he wasn't being honest. If he was going to be honest with himself, he knew that he'd been inconsiderate and had never really given much thought to how others might treat Justin because of his actions. Brian sighed, stood up and went to pick up the stress ball. He was getting nowhere.

Pressing the call button on his intercom, he waited for Cynthia to answer. "Cynthia, I'm leaving. Reschedule the rest of my appointments."

Cynthia paused for a moment. "Yes Brian."

She waited until he walked out of his office. "Brian? Are you okay?"

Brian paused and looked at Cynthia with his usual smirk. "I'm just fabulous."

Cynthia shook her head as she watched him walk toward the front doors.

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Justin was sitting, staring off into space while he thought about what had happened that afternoon. When he had realized that he didn't have the pictures, he had hoped that he'd remembered wrong and had rushed back to the diner. However, all of his searching had turned up nothing. He knew for sure now that Brian had his drawings.

Hearing keys jingling by the door, he sighed as Daphne walked into the apartment. "Hey."

Justin continued to sit where he was. "Hey."

Daphne sighed. "I take it he didn't call. So what did he do this time? I would have stayed this morning except I had an important test today."

Justin nodded. "I know and it's okay. As for Brian, no, he didn't call, but we ran into each other at the diner…literally."

Daphne sat beside Justin. "And…?"

"And nothing. I didn't hang around to listen to his remarks of how much of a twat I am. I wasn't in the mood." Justin said sadly.

Daphne was getting a little frustrated. "Justin! You're never going to get your problems worked out with Brian if you don't talk to him."

Justin looked up. "Daph! That's just it! You know he doesn't talk. It's either his way or no way."

"Make him listen, Justin, he has before. Justin, you just have to try to not get all emotional with him. You know that's what he really hates. It's because he doesn't know how to really deal with it."

Justin leaned back into the couch with another sigh. "I know. Daph, the thing is…this afternoon when we bumped into each other, I dropped my bag. I…I had done some drawings that showed how I felt. I think Brian might have them."

Daphne smiled. "Well that's good then! I still don't know what the problem is, but if he sees how you feel about it, then he'll know and he'll be more willing to talk about it."

Justin thought about it. "I don't know Daph. It has to do with his tricking and you know how he feels about that."

Daphne sat back with a sigh. "Oh…yeah, I know how he feels about it. So is that what he did? He tricked on your date night?"

Justin felt a tear escape and it only made him angry with himself. "I am such a queen! I hate this!"

Wiping the tear away, he took a deep breath and continued. "I know he tricks and I guess I've come to accept it, but our date night is just supposed to be us and no one else, a night without all the bullshit. But what I am tired of is his constant throwing it in my face, and his tricks doing it too. I don't think he does it on purpose. I think he just does it because he's so used to doing it with everyone else. I'm just tired of all the looks that get sent my way."

Daphne inched closer and wrapped her arms around him. "You are not that big of a queen. You're just a man who isn't afraid to show his emotions."

Justin leaned into Daphne's arms. "Thanks Daph. I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I'll give him another day, then I'll go and talk to him. For now, I need to get back to the diner to work my shift."

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Brian was still slightly pissed when he walked into the loft and threw down his keys. Looking around, he saw signs of Justin everywhere. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, he admitted that he really wasn't angry at Justin any more. The little shit had only been gone for less then 24 hours, and it wasn't as if they hadn't been apart for longer periods of time before. Yet for some reason, this time he had to admit that it felt different, as if he had been gone longer. This time it also felt as if he would not be coming home, that this time it was for good. Unless, he could figure out just how to talk to Justin and come up with a solution that would satisfy both of them.

Walking into the bedroom, he removed his suit and changed into a pair of jeans and a denim shirt. Feeling as if the walls were closing in on him, he grabbed his jacket and Justin's drawings. He needed to get out of the loft. Stepping outside the building, he thought about where to go. Looking at the pictures that he had unconsciously grabbed, he decided to go to the diner. Hopefully when he saw Justin, he would be able to figure out just what he needed to do. Maybe he'd get lucky and he wouldn't have to say anything, Justin would just know like he seemed to have known so many times before. He just hoped that his luck would hold as far as the diner was concerned and that none of the gang, nor Deb, would be there to drive him crazy.

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Brian walked into the diner and sat down at his usual booth. His luck was holding, none of the gang or Debbie were there, but he also didn't see Justin and he knew that he was supposed to be working now.

Just then Justin came from out of the back and stopped in surprise when he saw Brian sitting in the booth. Taking a deep breath, he tried to walk past him as if he didn't see him.

Brian reached out and stopped him. "Justin…"

Justin looked down at Brian's hand and then at his face. "What do you want Brian? I need to work my shift."

Brian let go of Justin's arm and looked around the diner. It was fairly empty and the next rush wouldn't begin for at least another hour. Looking back up at Justin, he started to say something. "Justin…"

"Brian…" Justin started at the same time.

Both men stopped and smiled slightly at each other. Brian continued to search Justin's face. Suddenly, he knew what he needed to say. Rising, he handed the pictures to Justin. Taking a deep breath, he started once again. "Justin…I'm…I'm not going to change, you knew that when you decided to be with me. I should have been more considerate on our date nights, and I should have noticed how the men I fuck were treating you. I'm…"

Justin stood there watching Brian closely as he attempted to apologize, and realized that Brian was trying. "Brian, it's okay. You don't have to say it and I'm at fault as well. I should have talked to you instead of letting my anger and frustration over the situation build."

Brian smiled slightly again. "I don't exactly make it easy for you to talk to me about things that are bothering you."

Justin smiled back. "I know, but I still should have tried."

Brian's smile got bigger. "So does this mean that you're coming home tonight?"

Justin's smile grew as well. "Yeah."

Brian sat back down and smiled. "Well in that case, I'm hungry. I'm going to need to build up my strength."

Justin walked over and placed Brian's order. Both men couldn't keep the smiles off their faces as each one thought, "I'm going home" "He's coming home."

They both knew that they still had to work some things out, but it looked as if things were going to be okay for now.

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