Falling Down the Primrose Path

Part 7

Steve heard Brian come home. Before he could call out to him, Brian walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Steve knew then that the trip hadn't gone well. Walking to the door, he paused before opening it. Brian was sitting on their bed staring out the window.

Steve was just about to turn on the light switch when Brian spoke. "Leave it."

Steve stopped and began to walk toward Brian. "Not now Steve. Just leave me alone."

Steve ignored Brian and walked to where he could face him. He was shocked at Brian's haggard appearance and red rimmed, blood-shot eyes. "My god, what happened between you and Justin? You look like shit!"

Brian looked angrily up at Steve. "Nothing happened between me and Justin. Now get out and leave me alone."

Steve stepped back as if he'd been hit, looked once more at Brian and left the room. This wasn't good. Something had happened on this trip and Steve knew that whatever it was, it was going to cause problems and he wasn't sure how to take care of them, yet. However, at this moment, he hated Justin Taylor.

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Brian sighed. He knew that Steve wanted to know what happened but Steve also knew that he was upset and should have known to leave him alone for awhile. But then again, Steve was never one to leave people alone.

Alone to think, alone like he'd been the past couple of days. Days in which he hoped Justin would call or at least Jules but he'd heard nothing. Brian had reverted to his old pain management techniques but stopped when thoughts of Justin using them and what had happened to him kept appearing.

The call to Jennifer had been hard. He felt guilty at the relief he felt at telling her that he had found Justin and that he'd been calling her. His relief intensified when she didn't push about how Justin looked when he had said that Justin would explain. Jennifer had called him back last night to let him know that Justin had called her and that she and Molly were going out there. It was that call that let him know that he didn't have to tell her of Justin's condition.

Justin, he'd never forget the one time he'd seen him. His Sunshine, was sunshine no more. His light had been put out and he and Steve had helped to do it. Yes, the shock of Justin in a wheelchair and an eye patch was bad but it was what he had seen in his good eye that had shocked him to the bone.

In the few brief moments that he had been with Justin, he had seen many things. Surprise, despair, defeat, loathing, sadness, anger, but the two biggest were fear and hatred. It was all there for Brian to see. The sunshine was gone and in its place was nothing but darkness and he hated himself for helping to put it there.

Brian didn't know how long he sat there but a quiet knock brought him out of his thoughts. He was surprised to see that it was dark out.

"Brian? I know you said to leave you alone but you've been in there for hours and you need to eat something." Steve said through the door.

Brian stood up and walked to the door. He paused with his hand on the handle, took a deep breath and opened the door.

Steve was already walking down the hall and while he didn't turn and look at Brian, he did let out the breath he had been holding.

Brian walked into the kitchen, picked up his plate and walked into the dinning room. Steve was already eating and the table was covered with papers and brochures.

Setting down his plate but making no move to eat, Brian picked up a pamphlet near him. "What is all this?"

"They're travel brochures." Steve had purposely gone and gotten tons of brochures from his travel agent. He knew where he wanted to go and while Brian had told him to plan the trip, he knew that unless Brian had a hand in it, he'd try to get out of going. Especially if his present mood was any indication of his current mind set.

"I knew that but for what?" Brian asked as he set down the brochure he was holding and looked at Steve.

"For our trip. You know the one you promised we'd take when you got back." Steve said studying Brian while appearing to be looking over another brochure.

Brian sat back and pushed his untouched plate away with a sigh. "Steve, I don't think…"

Steve looked up and stopped him. "No Brian. We are going away. You promised me and I'm going to keep you to it. Besides that, you're exhausted and it will do us both a world of good. Now, you can either help pick where we go or you can continue to sulk while I do it. Either way it doesn't matter. By the end of the week, we will be on a plane to somewhere where we will be staying for one month. One month of just you and me.

"Steve, I promised we'd go but I just got back. I haven't even been to the office yet. I told you I didn't care where we go and I don't. You pick but make the plans for the end of next week. Let me get the office prepared." Brian said as he pushed the pamphlets away. Standing, he walked out of the dining room and into their office.

Steve heard the clink of glass and knew he was in for a long night. Silently he cursed Justin as he rose and began to clear the table. He wondered what had happened to put Brian in such a mood. Maybe after a few drinks, he'd be able to get it out of Brian.

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Three Hours Later

Steve walked into the office to find a drunk and brooding Brian sitting in the dark staring out the window. "Brian?"

Brian didn't respond, just took another drink from the almost empty bottle he was holding.

Steve walked closer and turned on the desk lamp on his desk as he continued to look at Brian. He was shocked to see the tear tracks on his cheeks. Walking around so that he was standing in front of Brian, he knelt until he could make eye contact, than tried again. "Brian? Tell me what happened. I've never seen you like this before and it worries me. Please tell me."

Brian looked at Steve and sighed. "Why? It's not like you really care about Justin. You'll just make some comment about how things happen but that now we can finally move on."

Brian stood up unsteadily and walked to the window. Steve stood up and walked up behind Brian, as he wrapped his arms around him, he felt him stiffen. He waited for Brian to relax but when he didn't he sighed. "Come on Brian, let's get you to bed. I know you're exhausted and with all you've drunk, it's a wonder you're still up."

Brian relaxed as soon as Steve quit hugging him and allowed himself to be led to the bedroom. Steve started to help him undress but Brian pushed him away and did it himself. As soon as he finished, he crawled into bed and rolled onto his side away from Steve. He hoped the alcohol he had consumed would keep the images of Justin at bay. At least for a little while. As for Steve, he still had a lot to think about and maybe by the time the trip was over, he'd know what he was going to do.

Steve looked at Brian's back and sighed. Something had happened and he was beginning to get nervous. He couldn't wait to get Brian away from New York, away from the past. Maybe once they were in a different place, they could finally work on building their lives together without all the other stuff getting in the way.

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Four Weeks Later

Steve looked over at a sleeping Brian. They were finally on their way. Brian never once asked where they were going and he didn't seem to care. An emergency had come up at the office that pushed their trip back an extra couple of weeks from the time that Brian had requested. And he had to admit that it seemed to have helped Brian a little bit. He still hadn't talked about what had gone on between himself and Justin and Steve frankly didn't care. Things between then hadn't been the same once he came back, Brian was still distant and there hadn't been much intimacy between them. But he wasn't drinking as much and while working extra hours, he still came home to him every night and without the smell of sex and drugs that he feared. But Steve reminded himself each and every day, Brian had come back to him. He hadn't stayed with Justin and now, they were finally on their way to the South of France. Away from the office, New York, and Justin.

Steve smiled as he continued to watch Brian. Now they could get back the spark that had been slowly dying over the last three years. He would make sure that Brian remembered why he had picked him every chance he got and the first thing he was going to do was make him whimper. With that, Steve moved his hand toward Brian, laying his hand upon his crotch he slowly began to rub, smiling until Brian sighed. "Justin."

Steve withdrew his hand as if he had been burnt. Sitting back he frowned as he stared once more at his partner. He knew then that he had a lot of work in front of him.

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