Falling Down the Primrose Path

Part 6

The past couple of days had been rough. Justin had fallen back emotionally to where he had been not long after he had started his therapy and release from the hospital. Nightmares had struck each night, sometimes more than once and during the day he would have fits of anger followed by bouts of tears.

Jules was trying to get him to relax and talk over what had happened. At the moment Justin was stretched out on the massage table and Jules was working on a deep and relaxing massage. Justin was drowsing and while she was tempted to let him go on to sleep, she knew that now was the time to talk to him.

"Justin?" Jules said as she continued to work on his legs.

Justin was floating and knew he was about to fall asleep. "Hummm."

"As much as I know you don't want to talk about it, we have too. Brian is going to tell your mother that he found you. He said it was up to you on whether or not he told her how you were. He said if you called her, he would leave it up to you and just tell her that he found you. If you don't, he'll tell her everything." Jules told him and continued to work on his back where she could see he had tensed up again.

Justin sighed. "I know, I…I just don't know if I'm ready."

Jules knelt down and looked Justin in the face. "You're ready. You've been ready; you're just scared. That's what all of this over the past couple of days has been about really. You're angry cause you can't hide any longer and the way you were found out. It's your fear that is causing you to act the way you are.

Justin felt tears build. "I am scared. Sit with me when I call her? I don't know what exactly I'm going to say but you're right. I need to call her. It's past time I guess. I was just hoping that things would continue and I'd never have to move forward, things would stay the same."

Jules placed her hand on Justin's cheek. "Of course I'll sit with you but you really don't need me. You're much stronger than you think you are. As for the other, there was never going to be a way to keep from moving forward. Life won't let us do anything but. Unfortunately, it's not always in the direction that we want to take."

Justin sighed. "I know. Well, let me go take a shower and get dressed. Then I'll call. Give me an hour. Okay?"

Jules stood up and grabbed a nearby towel and watched as Justin levered himself up and using the table stood carefully as she wiped her hands. "Okay, one hour Justin."

Justin continued to use the table for help as he made his way to the end and sat down in the wheelchair. "Jules, you haven't said anything and I haven't asked but what did you tell Brian?"

Jules walked over and bent to kiss Justin on the cheek. "Just the truth and I can tell you this. He still cares. What I told him gave him quite a shock and it hurt as well."

Justin nodded. "Good. He needed to know the truth. At least that's one person I don't have to tell it too. Once Mom finds out, that's it. It's either going to come completely out or she won't tell anyone. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Jules walked beside Justin as they moved down the hall. "So I guess that means you're going to tell her everything?"

Justin got into the elevator that would take him upstairs to his bedroom. "I don't know. Maybe not everything, not yet but I'm going to have to tell her some of it. The thing I'm going to have to deal with though is her wanting to come out here and start taking care of me. I can't go through that. I'm an adult and I don't need my mommy to come and take care of me as if I was a helpless infant."

Jules closed the gate but continued to look at Justin through the grate. "Do you think that might be one of the reasons you refused to call her in the first place?"

"Not at first but as I got better it was." Justin said as he pushed the button to take him upstairs.

Jules nodded and turned to climb the stairs to her room. One hour, in one hour things were going to get a lot more complicated. She just hoped that Justin was ready.

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Justin sat at his desk and stared at the phone. He reached over to pick it up a couple of times but never did. When he was about to leave his office due to his nerves, Jules walked in with two glasses. Giving the one she handed him a little sniff, he smiled. Taking a quick sip of his scotch, he sat it down as Jules pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. Reaching for her hand, he reached for the phone with his other. Pushing the speaker on, he then dialed the number and waited.

Jennifer picked up the phone on the second ring. "Hello?"

Justin didn't say anything until she spoke again. "Hi Mom, it's Justin."

Jennifer let out a long breath. "Justin, oh thank god. I've been so worried. I didn't know where you were or if you were even still alive."

Justin felt the tears build again at the sound of his mother's voice. "I'm sorry. I should have called you sooner but didn't know what to say."

Jennifer heard the tears in Justin's voice and couldn't keep the similar tears out of her own. "Brian called and told me that he had found you but that was all he could tell me at the time. Is it because of that that you called?"

"Yes, his showing up made me realize that I couldn't hide from those I care about any longer. I'm so sorry Mom." Justin began to cry and squeezed Jules hand.

Jules handed Justin a tissue and with another one dabbed at the tears rolling down her own face.

Justin spent the next two hours on the phone with his Mom. It was as if whatever wall he had been built to keep himself safe by not talking to anyone was suddenly down. They talked about his art, his home, even Jules but whenever she asked why he had disappeared, he would move to another subject. After awhile he did a little bit about his accident but not the full extent of his injuries. Just as he had said, she immediately wanted to come out to take care of him but he stopped her.

"Mom, I…I love you but I'm just not ready to see you yet. Please, please wait. I still need time to adjust to having people in my life again." Justin said, hoping she would understand.

Jennifer sighed. "I don't like it but okay. I will tell you this though, I'm only giving you a little time and then whether or not you like it, I'm coming out there to see you. Three years without a word, I can only stand to be apart for a little while longer. I mean it."

Justin paused. "Ok, three months. In three months time, you can come out. I'll take care of everything. You should be getting some papers by the end of the week about it."

"Justin that's not soon enough. A month. Make it a month." Jennifer said.

Justin shook his head even though he knew his mom couldn't see it. "Two months."

Jennifer smiled, getting excited. "Make it a month and a half. Six weeks and you've got a deal."

Justin took a deep breath. "All right. Six weeks."

Jennifer laughed. "Well, I was hoping a little sooner but six weeks it is. Uh, Justin, what about Molly? She's going to be upset that she didn't get to talk to you today and she'll be even more so if she can't come out."

Justin sighed. "Tell her I called and what we talked about and that I'm calling back tonight just to speak to her. I'll tell her she's coming also. But Mom, I'm not ready for everyone else. You can tell them that you finally heard from me and what you think they need to hear but let them know that I'm not ready yet."

Jennifer's smile left her face. She knew that Justin wasn't telling her everything but was afraid to push as it might cause him to disappear again. "All right Justin. Justin? I love you."

Justin smiled. "I love you too Mom. I'll call tonight to speak to Molly."

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Justin sat back and stared at the phone. Jules smiled as she watched him.

"Well that went pretty good." Jules stood up and moved around the desk toward the door.

Justin looked up, the smile leaving his face. "Yes it did. We've got a lot of work to do though. There is no way I'm going to greet my mother in a wheel chair or with crutches. I want to be using canes. Even if it's for only a short period of time."

Jules nodded her understanding. She knew that Justin wanted to impress on his mother that he could take care of himself and that he was okay when she came. He was going to show as little weakness as possible. He was not going to be caught off guard again.

"Six weeks, that doesn't give us much time but we'll do it." She said smiling.

Justin smiled back. "You're damn right we will."

The rest of the day went well. Justin's call to Molly was done alone and while she was resentful at first her love for her brother won out in the end. That night Justin only had one nightmare. He was able to go back to sleep however and when he awoke the sun was shining and he was ready to work. After all, he only had six weeks.

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