Falling Down the Primrose Path

Part 5

Brian turned in surprise and felt as if he had been punched.

"Get the hell out of my house!" Justin yelled.

Brian watched as Justin turned and rolled out of the room. "Justin! Wait!"

Brian moved to follow Justin but found his way blocked by an angry Jules. "Oh no you don't! He's been through enough. He's finally managed to work through most of his nightmares and you, his biggest one comes true."

Brian started to try and walk past her but was pushed back both physically and mentally when her words hit. "I'm one of his nightmares?"

Jules was still angry at the man for barging in and messing up quite a bit of the progress Justin had managed to make but could tell that what he had seen was an extreme shock to him. "Yes, didn't you do enough three years ago! Leave him alone!"

Brian moved back toward the kitchen counters and leaned against them and dropped his head. He thought he might be sick. "What happened to him?"

Just then a loud crash filled the air, followed by another one. Jules looked at him but he could tell she was torn. "Don't you move. You leave this room and I'll have you tossed out of here so fast you won't know what hit you. I need to go to Justin. Stay or leave. I don't care."

Brian kept his back to Jules so she couldn't see the tears in his eyes. Hearing more noise followed by some screaming, he turned and followed them to their source. Coming to a door that was partially closed, he stopped. A soothing voice was talking and slowly the yelling and other noises stopped. Quietly he stood and listened.

"Why!? Why is he here? I never wanted to see him or him to see me! I thought I was finally going to be free." Justin cried with a hitch in his voice as he tried to hold himself together.

Jules sighed. "I don't know Justin and I know how you felt. I'm sorry."

Justin continued to fight his tears. "I thought I was finally moving on, getting better but I'm not. I'm still not ready and I don't think I'll ever be. Why couldn't I have just died?"

Justin finally gave into his tears and his sobs neatly tore a hole in Brian's heart. They quickly became muffled and Brian risked a peek through the doorway. Jules was kneeling on the floor with her arms around Justin, murmuring. Brian felt as if he was intruding and realized that he was. He didn't belong here. Moving away from the door, Brian went back to the kitchen to wait for Jules to return.

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Thirty minutes later Jules walked back into the kitchen. She wasn't surprised to still see Brian there but had hoped he would have gone. "I see you helped yourself to the coffee."

Brian watched as Jules walked over and poured herself a cup, adding some sugar and cream, then took a long drink before she finally faced him.

Jules looked over the man sitting at the kitchen table. "So what do you want?"

Brian looked through the doorway. "Is he okay?"

Jules followed his look. "He was asleep when I left him. I had to give him a sedative."

Jules sighed. "Just so you know, you barging in here like this probably set him back. He was finally going a couple of weeks without having any nightmares. I'm sure they'll be back to coming nightly now if not more than one a night. Not to mention the emotional train ride he has just been on. I'm going to have to call his psychologist as soon as possible."

Brian looked down at the coffee cup he was holding. "What happened?"

Jules stared at Brian until he looked back up at her. "I want you to understand one thing. I'm only telling you because I know your history. He never wanted to see you again. He never wanted you to see him especially after what happened. Hell, he didn't want anyone from his past to see him this way."

Brian repeated his question. "What happened?"

Now it was Jules' turn to play with her coffee cup. "A little over three years ago, Justin was in a car accident. He and the driver were both drunk and high. Justin called it 'pain management'."

Brian flinched at her choice of words and felt the blood rush out of his face. "Why did you call it that?"

Jules saw Brian's reaction and now knew where Justin had gotten it from. "That's what Justin called it. By your reaction I now know where he learned his 'pain management' from."

Brian nodded and took a deep breath. "So you were telling me what happened?"

Jules knew that Brian was uncomfortable with what he was hearing and she was certain by the time she was finished, he would be feeling guilty as well. "Apparently, Justin had just left this club when this man hit on him and he decided to go with him. According to the people in the other vehicle, the jeep Justin was in was swerving all over the road. They tried to avoid hitting them and said it was a miracle that they hadn't hit any harder than they had. The blow was only glancing but enough to send the jeep off the other side of the road.

The driver was killed instantly and Justin was thrown out of the jeep. He fell about twenty feet down a hill. It's a miracle that he's even alive."

Jules sighed and took a drink of her coffee. "When he went through the window, some fragments went into his left eye, destroying it. His back was broken but luckily his spinal cord wasn't severed. He was in surgery for approximately an hour and a half when he suddenly began to have some kind of reaction. He was closed up quickly and taken off the anesthesia. He seemed to get better and was placed in recovery. It was there that he began to have another reaction and go into anaphylactic shock. A quick allergy test was run as it was feared more harm would happen."

Brian stopped her. "He has a medical alert card in his wallet with a list of everything. Why didn't they look there? They could have killed him considering everything he's allergic to."

Jules shook her head. "It wasn't on him. No credit cards, nothing. We couldn't even contact next of kin as his drivers license was a newly issued Colorado one that led to a fairly empty apartment."

Brian was shocked. Justin was always careful that way. Had he really been that self-destructive the last time he had seen him and in his happiness he just hadn't seen it? "So if he was operated on, why is he still in a wheelchair?"

"The operation wasn't finished. They had to close him up too soon." Jules informed him. "He had to have several short surgeries to repair his spine. Usually when it has to do with the back, they try to get them up and walking as soon as possible. With Justin however, they found bone fragments close to his spinal cord which meant even more short neurosurgeries. Then between the scar tissue and swelling he was in bed for a total of six months before he even started to learn to move again."

Jules thought she heard something and paused to listen. When she didn't hear anything, she continued. "That's when I came in. I was a physical therapist at the hospital and assigned to Justin's case. Unfortunately Justin didn't seem to care. He was angry, belligerent, and depressed. The psychiatrist was working with him but wasn't having anymore luck than the rest of us. When he wasn't shut down, he was lashing out. So one day while he was at occupation therapy, the psychiatrist and I went through his things that had been brought over from his apartment but he had left untouched. That was when we found out he was an artist. He must have loved you very much. There were drawings of you in all the books but of course we had no idea who you were or how to get in touch with you."

Brian winched as if he had been hit but nodded his head. He knew how much Justin loved him and felt a wave of guilt wash over him.

Jules continued as if she hadn't noticed. "Well, that was when I got an idea and talked it over with the psychiatrist. He agreed that it might be a way in which to reach Justin. In pediatrics there was a little five year old boy who had a similar injury to his back. So one day I wheeled Justin down to the peds day room where Ricky was sitting drawing. Justin didn't say a word and just stared out the window. He remained there for an hour while Ricky chatted away to the nurses and others who were in the room. When I came back down to take Justin back to his room, Ricky stopped us and handed Justin a picture. Said he hoped it made him feel better cause it made him feel better drawing it. Justin looked down at Ricky and then at the picture he had been given. You should have seen the look on Justin's face. He thanked Ricky and when Ricky asked if he'd see him the next day, he said maybe. On the way back up to his room, Justin asked about Ricky and what had happened to him. Ricky had climbed up a ladder onto the roof of his house to get an airplane that had been caught by the wind when he had thrown it. He slipped and fell off, breaking his back. Justin nodded and continued to look at the picture that Ricky had given him. After we had gotten him back into bed, I left him alone for a little while and when I stopped in to see him, I heard him crying. It was the first time, he'd cried since he had come to the hospital. We took it as a good sign."

Jules paused to take another drink. "I need to go check on Justin. I'll be right back."

Brian watched as Jules walked away and sighed. He was having a hard time taking in all he had been told. Most of all that Justin had gone through it all alone. He hadn't contacted anyone, not even his mother. He had a lot of questions but the only one he knew who could answer them was Justin and he didn't think that he would be allowed to talk to him anytime soon.

Jules walked back into the room and sat back down. "Ok, let's see, where was I? Right, Ricky. The next day I took Justin back down to the peds day room. Ricky was there and was his usual cheerful self. Justin sat and watched him this time and if Ricky asked him questions, he would answer them. This went on for a couple of more days and Justin had begun to take to his occupational and physical therapy a bit more. He still wouldn't open up to the psychiatrist. Then one day Justin went down to see Ricky and found him in a bad mood. When Justin asked him what was the matter, Ricky was upset because he hated the picture he was making for his grandfather. He said it just didn't look right and he wanted it to be perfect. He threw his crayon down and began to cry. Justin reached over and picked up the crayon from the table. He sat rolling it around between his fingers for a minute and then told Ricky that maybe he could help. Ricky stopped crying and nodded his head. He then told Justin what he had been trying to draw."

Jules got up and took her cup to the sink as she continued. "Justin helped Ricky to draw what it was he wanted to give his grandfather. It was the first time any of us had seen Justin draw since he had come to the hospital. It also seemed to be all that was needed to get Justin started. Of course he was still having trouble with depth perception every now and then but he began to work harder in all his therapies and when the psychiatrist saw his drawings, he began to question them and Justin began to answer him. It really was a major breakthrough."

Turning back she faced Brian. "He now uses lofstrand crutches and a back brace in which to walk since his back is weak due to so many surgeries. While he is here at home, he walks but when he's painting, working on his computer and such, he uses his wheelchair."

Brian stood and moved to the sink, placed his cup in and turned to face Jules. "If he was in the hospital for almost a year, how did he pay for it? I know for a fact that most hospitals aren't that concerned about their patients without there being insurance or money involved. What was he, the charity case picked to even out their quota?"

Jules smiled slightly. "No, Justin wasn't a charity case. The man Justin was with was a well known and wealthy surgeon of the hospital. His insurance company paid for quite a bit considering he was the driver. More came from the doctor's family in the form of a settlement. Personally I think it was hush money."

Brian nodded. "Yes but was that enough to cover everything?"

Jules shook her head. It covered most of it but not all. That's where Ricky's grandfather came in. Ricky's grandfather is a pretty well know gallery owner here in Denver. He went to thank Justin for helping his grandson and saw some of his drawings. He seemed to be impressed with Justin's work and told him that he thought he knew of some patrons who would be interested in some of them. Justin knew that he would be running out of money soon and didn't know what he was going to do. He had already made it clear to all of us that he wouldn't contact his family no matter what. So, he told Ricky's grandfather okay and let him pick several of his paintings. And that is how JTaylor, the artist was born."

Brian watched Jules go back and sit at the table. "And how do you fit into all of this?"

Jules looked at Brian and shook her head. "The hospital decided Justin was ready to leave. He still needed home care as well as outpatient therapy. So, with the little money he had left, he bought a ground floor condo. Then he asked me if I'd be willing to move in with him, free room and board in exchange of home health care and continued therapy. I accepted. I liked Justin and knew that other than the people from the hospital, he knew no one. As things continued to go well for Justin he bought a bigger place and I became more of a companion and assistant."

Jules stood up. "Not that it's really any of your business. So now that you know, I think it would be best if you left before Justin woke up. And please, don't come back. He has been through so much. The last thing he needs is for you to come barging back into his life only to leave again to go back to your own happy life. You are his past and that's where you need to stay."

Brian got a little angry. "What right do you have to tell me not to come back? I care for Justin as does everyone in his family!"

Jules also got angry. "What right! I'll tell you what right I have. I'm the one who sat up with him night after night when he had nightmares. I'm the one whose shoulder he cries on when things get rough and he feels like giving up. I'm the one who is slowly putting back together his broken heart and shattered self esteem so that maybe one day he will feel that he can go back out into the world as Justin and see his family. That's what gives me the right. Not because he pays me but because I'm his friend. Now get out and don't come back. He doesn't need you anymore."

Brian felt his anger deflate in the brunt of her anger and with a sigh walked to the kitchen door. Right before he walked out he turned to Jules. "You know, I never meant to break Justin's heart. I do care about him."

Jules nodded but her expression didn't soften. "Yeah, well if you cared so much about him, why did it take you over three years to find him? How long was it before you even knew he was missing?"

Brian once again felt like he had been hit. She was right. "I…look, please try and talk Justin into calling his mother. She has been worried sick all these years. I won't say anything right away but I told her that I would find him and I will tell her that I have. If he calls her first however, then I won't have to and he can decide what he wants her to know and if he'll allow her to see him. She's still his mother. She has the right to know."

"Thanks, I'll do what I can." Jules said.

"Uhm, I'll be staying at the Hyatt for the next couple of days, if he wants to get in touch with me and I'm sure you have my New York info from the gallery sales." Brian closed the door behind him and slowly walked down the driveway where the gate opened for him. Climbing into his car he looked up at the house and began to cry. What was he going to tell Jennifer?

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