* Assessment *

"What the fuck?!" Brian reread the letter and looked at the check. Reaching for the intercom Brian called Cynthia. "Cynthia, get me the financial office at P.I.F.A."

Brian sat back down at his desk and contemplated just what the letter meant. Cynthia buzzed Brian back, "Your call is on line one."

Brian picked up the phone. "Yes, this is Brian Kinney and I'm sitting here looking at the return of my check for the tuition of Justin Taylor. May I ask why?"

The voice over the phone reminded him of the old fashion telephone operators. "Are you a family member of the student?"

Brian answered without thinking, "No but I'm paying his tuition so I think I have the right to know."

"Then I'm sorry sir, but unless you are the student or can prove you're a family member, I can't release any information." The operator continued. "If you have any questions sir, I suggest that you take it up with them. Thank you for calling, good day."

Brian sat there surprised; he couldn't believe that she had hung up on him. Gathering his things, he headed out the door. "Cynthia, I'm leaving. If Vance asks, tell him I had a family situation that needed my immediate attention."

********************************************************************************************

Brian pulled up and parked at the administrations building at P.I.F.A. Getting out, he paused as he remembered the first time he had brought Justin here after the bashing. He couldn't stop the shudder that went through his body as the image of Justin, lying on the ground bleeding, flashed before him. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, he headed for the main office, briefcase with letter and check in hand.

Brian walked up to the front desk and smiled when the receptionist acknowledged him. "Yes, I'm Brian Kinney and I'd like to speak with someone about one of your students. It's about his tuition."

"If you'll have a seat Mr. Kinney, I'll see if there is anyone available. With classes starting in two weeks, you can see we're quite busy." The receptionist said pleasantly.

Brian looked around and found an empty seat. Opening his briefcase, he had every intention of doing some work while he waited. Instead, he sat there looking at the letter and remembering the day when Justin had agreed to let him loan him the money, which was followed by Justin topping him for the first time. Just the memory of Justin thrusting into him over and over again, made him hard and he shifted in his seat at his discomfort.

Looking around, he saw a tall nicely built red head give him a knowing smile. Brian arched an eyebrow at him and the young man nodded out the door, got up and left. Brian sat there for a minute before walking over to the desk. "I'll be right back."

The receptionist nodded and Brian walked out the door and looked around. Spotting the bathroom, he walked inside where he found it empty except for the red head who stood there with his pants open and his hard-on thrusting through the opening. Without a word, Brian pulled the man into one of the stalls. As soon as the door was shut, the red head was on his knees opening Brian's pants and engulfed his cock. Brian let him suck him off for a few moments before deciding he needed more. Pushing the red head off, he raised him up and turned him around as he grabbed a condom out of his pants.

Preparing the guy and himself, he quickly sank into the oblivion that fucking brought him. The red head began to jack himself off, as he got closer to his orgasm and as he reached it, Brian let go of the hold he had on his own. Pulling out, he disposed of the condom, zipped up his pants, and was washing his hands before the red head had finished cleaning himself up. As he walked out of the stall fastening his pants, he looked up to say something only to be greeted by the closing door of the bathroom.

Brian walked back into the office and was immediately hailed by the receptionist. "Mr. Kinney, if you could come this way, Mr. Burke will see you now."

Brian followed the receptionist back among the offices to the door of a Mr. Fred Burke. Thanking her, he stepped into the office and went straight into business mode. "Mr. Burke? Brian Kinney." Shaking the older man's hand, he sat when motioned.

"Mr. Kinney, what can I do for you? I understand that you have a question about one of our students and their tuition." Mr. Burke sat back down and smiled kindly at Brian.

Brian opened his briefcase and pulled out the check and letter. "Yes, I'd like to know why my check was returned? I was loaning Justin Taylor the money for his tuition and have never had a problem with you accepting the check before."

Mr. Burke took and read the check and letter. Turning to his computer he typed in some information. "You said Justin Taylor?" He confirmed with Brian. At his nod, he continued to study the screen.

"Mr. Kinney, what exactly is your relation to Mr. Taylor?" He asked.

Brian thought about what to say but finally said, "Friends."

Mr. Burke nodded. "Well Mr. Kinney the reason your check was returned is because Mr. Taylor is no longer a student here." Rising his hand to stop Brian from saying anything, he continued. "That is all I can tell you. I suggest that you ask Mr. Taylor for the answers you are seeking."

Brian nodded and rose. "Thank you Mr. Burke."

Mr. Burke rose and held out his hand. "You're welcome. I wish I could help you more, but I can't."

Shaking the offered hand, Brian said, "I understand. Thank you for what you could tell me." Brian walked out of the office, down the hall, and out the main door not even noticing the red head that was following him with his eyes.

Brian climbed into his jeep and pulled out his cell phone. "Hey Mikey, have you heard from Justin lately?"

Michael, caught totally by surprised, answered "Huh? Uh…Yeah, I got an email just the other day about some ideas for the next issue of 'Rage'. Why?"

"Has he said anything about when he'll be back?" Brian said.

"No, he hasn't, but why all this sudden interest about when he'll be back?" Michael asked.

"Not that it's any of your business Mikey but I had made a deal with Justin about P.I.F.A and I'm just trying to keep up my end of the bargain."

Michael couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Brian?! After what he did? Why?! You're not his boyfriend anymore and you don't owe him anything, remember?!"

Brian sighed, "Of course I remember Mikey but it's not your decision to make and this has absolutely nothing to do with me being his boyfriend or not. I offered him a loan and he took it. He even insisted that we have a contract drawn up so that I would be sure to get paid back. I just need to talk with him about something that has to do with that."

Michael let out his breath trying to calm himself. He had said he wasn't going to be this way any more about Brian and Justin, and here he was doing it the minute Brian showed interest in Justin. "Sorry Brian…I"

Brian knew he shouldn't have called Mikey. "Look Mikey, I gotta go. I'll see you tonight at Woody's." Brian hung up the phone and thought about who might know what was going on besides Jennifer.

Checking out the time, Brian drove to the dinner. He figured he could use getting a late lunch for an excuse to be there.

Walking in he sat down at the counter and waited for Deb to come over. When she did, he placed his order and decided to wait until she brought his food before asking about Justin.

Since the diner was slow at the time, it didn't take long for his food to arrive or for Deb to sit next to him. "So Brian, what brings you here at this time of day and don't say lunch. I know better."

He should have known better. Swallowing the bite he had taken, he asked. "Deb, have you heard from Justin lately?"

Deb looked at Brian, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I heard from him just the other day. You know, instead of getting your information about Justin through us, you could just email him yourself."

Brian tried to hide his surprise. "I don't…"

Deb laughed. "Oh yes you do, so don't even try to deny it. Don't worry kiddo; I doubt that anyone else has noticed but me. I've noticed the way you listen when the boys discuss their news from Justin. I've also noticed how if no one has said anything after a couple of days, you always manage to say something that gets them talking about him without ever having brought up his name."

Brian looked down at his plate. "Did he say when he was coming home? I need to talk to him about school." Brian refused to acknowledge what Deb had just said even though he knew it was true.

Deb sighed, "You know, it's okay to still care about him, to even still love him."

When Brian didn't look up or respond she shook her head. Sometimes she just wanted to knock Brian upside the head. "No, he hasn't said, but I expect he'll be home soon. Do you want me to tell him to contact you when he does?"

Brian handed Deb some money as he stood. "No, that's okay. I'm sure I'll see him around. Thanks Deb."

Brian sat in his jeep. He had one person left before he would be forced to either email Justin himself or talk to Jennifer.

Pulling into the muncher's driveway, he took a deep breath and got out. Ringing the bell, he hoped that Mel wasn't home or if she was, that she wouldn't give him any grief. He really didn't think he could deal with it today.

When Lindsey opened the door with Gus, he was glad. "Hey sunny boy! Come see your old man."

Lindsey, surprised to see Brian, handed Gus to him. "Brian? What are you doing here?"

Gus meanwhile, happy to see Brian, began to clap his hands onto Brian's face. "Dada! Dada!"

Brian nuzzled Gus and played like he was going to eat Gus' neck. Walking into the living room, he was relieved to find Mel not home. Brian continued to play with Gus for a while longer; as if that was the main reason he had come. Finally he turned to Lindsey to ask her about Justin as Gus wandered off and returned with a small book. "Jus!"

Brian took the book that Gus handed him and waited for Gus to climb back into his lap. "Jus!" Gus said, patting the book.

Brian looked down at the book and noticed Justin's work gracing the cover. Opening it, he realized that it was a journal that Justin had turned into a book for Gus.

Inside, Justin had drawn pictured of places he had been and written funny little stories about his trip. Intermingled among the drawings were postcards and photos, some of which included Justin.

Brian paused to study each drawing and photo, soaking it all in. He tried to ignore the sad eyes and the not so bright smiles that were staring back at him from the photos. The one thing he didn't ignore though, was the fact that the fiddle player wasn't in a single one. There were no couple's photos.

When he was finished reading the book to Gus, he handed it back to Gus who got down and went to happily play with his toys. Brian looked up at Lindsey who looked back at him with sadness and understanding. Before she could say anything that Brian knew he didn't want to hear, he asked his question. "I can see you've heard from Justin but has he said anything about when he's coming back? I have a couple of questions to ask him about P.I.F.A."

Lindsey watched as Brian began to shut himself down and knew that he didn't want to hear what she had to say. Instead he threw her off balance by asking a question about the very person she hadn't expected him to ask about. "No, he hasn't said anything, but he should be home around the end of the week."

Brian immediately stood. "Come here sonny boy and tell your old man bye." Brian carried Gus to the door. "Thanks Linds, see ya sonny boy." Brian gave Gus a kiss before handing him to Lindsey.

"Brian…" Lindsey began but he kept walking to his jeep and waved over his shoulder. Lindsey just shook her head as she watched him go. "Your Dada really misses Justin."

"Jus! Jus!" Gus wiggled out of Lindsey's arms and ran back into the living room. Lindsey shut the door and followed, finding Gus standing at the coffee table looking through his book. When she sat down beside him, Gus looked up at her with a huge smile.

Brian climbed into his jeep and sat there thinking of the book that Justin had made for Gus. He closed his eyes at the pain he felt in his heart when he recalled the sadness he had seen in Justin's eyes. Opening his eyes, he drove home.

Walking into the loft, he went and turned on the computer. Going into the bathroom, he started the shower. Walking back to the computer, he checked, as he had everyday since he left, to see if he had an email from Justin. He thought for sure that this time he would find one, at least to explain about P.I.F.A. Opening up a blank email, he sat there and stared at it for several minutes before shutting down the computer, email unwritten.

After his shower, he began to get dressed to meet Michael, and continued to think about Justin. He finally admitted to himself that maybe he was wrong to have pushed Justin away. Taking a long look at himself, he came to a decision, and as he did so, he felt a weight lift from his chest and he smiled. When Justin got home, they were going to have a talk, a long talk.

He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say, but he was going to insist that they talk, and he didn't care if Justin's fiddle player liked it or not. What would happen afterwards, would happen and if people didn't like it, they could just go fuck themselves.

Arriving at Woody's, Brian kissed Michael hi and ordered a beer. Michael eyed him suspiciously. "What are you on?"

Brian looked at Michael, "What do you mean, what am I on?"

"Well", Michael said not sure if he wanted to know but couldn't keep the whine out of his voice. "You've been surly and moody for months and now suddenly you're in the really good mood."

Brian looked at Michael, shook his head and took a drink of his beer. "Come on, let's play."

Rising, Brian made his way over to an empty pool table. Michael started to follow when Ben stopped him. "Michael, you need to leave it alone. I know you're his best friend but look at what happened last time you didn't."

Michael opened his mouth to snap back but stopped when it hit him. Yes, Brian had been moody and as much as he wanted to blame it all on Justin, he knew that if he hadn't said anything that things might now be different. Closing his mouth, he nodded, and he and Ben joined Brian.

********************************************************************************************

Two Days Later…

Brian walked into the loft, walked over to the computer and turned it on. While it booted up, he began to remove his clothes. He had been in meetings all day and was glad that the day was over. Seeing the light flashing on his answering machine, he went over to listen to them.

****************

Michael

"Oh. My. God! Brian! You're not going to believe this! Justin isn't coming home! He's staying in Europe! Call me!

****************

Lindsey

"Brian, it's Linds. I tried calling you today to see if you wanted to stop by. I've…I heard from Justin today and thought you might like to know what he had to say. Give me a call. Love you, Bye.

****************

Debbie

"Hey Kiddo, listen, I'm sure Michael has spilled the news about Justin. I'm sorry. It's a good opportunity for him. Just think, a full scholarship. Maybe now you'll write him. He's going to be gone a long time Brian, but it isn't forever or too late."

********************************************************************************************

Brian felt his heart lurch at Michael's message but now he was confused as well. What was Debbie babbling on about? Reaching for his phone, he dialed Lindsey's, knowing that she wouldn't preach or get all hysterical.

"Hey Linds, I was in meetings all day. What's going on? I got a spastic message from Michael saying Justin's not coming home, a cryptic message from you with news and then a message from Deb talking about Justin and some scholarship?"

Brian heard Lindsey take a deep breath and release it before she responded. "Brian, why don't you come over for dinner and we can talk about it then."

Brian's heart sank even more and he felt almost nauseous. "I can't. I'm beat and staying home to get some much needed sleep. It's obvious that it's true, so just tell me already."

Brian sat down and waited for the bad news.

"While Justin was in London, he was approached by a professor of the Edinburgh College of Art and was told that he should apply. Brian, it's the oldest art school in the world and one of the most prestigious." Lindsey added quickly.

"Go on." Brian said waiting to hear the rest.

"Anyway, Justin went and checked out the school and applied. He was accepted with a full scholarship."

"Of course he was. The school would have been stupid not to accept him." Brian said, proud as always of Justin and his talent, "What about what's his name?"

"Ethan?" Lindsey said, trying to decide just how much to tell him. "They broke up. Justin said that he tried but it just wasn't going to work. That his heart just wasn't in it."

Lindsey hoped that Brian got the message she was sending him.

"Thanks Linds. I'll come by tomorrow to take Gus to the park if that's okay." Brian said, suddenly sounding tired to Lindsey.

"Sure Brian, he'd love that." Lindsey said tenderly.

"See you tomorrow." Brian said.

"Bye Brian." Lindsey said as she heard the click of the phone.

********************************************************************************************

Brian hung up the phone and sat staring at it for several minutes. Rising, he looked over at his computer but made no move toward it. Instead he decided he wanted a shower before he dealt with anyone or anything else.

Brian stepped out of his shower to hear his phone ringing and someone banging on his door. Wrapping a towel around his waist and leaving a trail of water, opened the door to a frantic Michael who hung up his phone, which stopped the ringing of Brian's.

"Jesus Brian! Why didn't you call me! I've just been trying to get in touch with you all day." Michael pushed past Brian and began to pace the room.

"Well gee Mikey, maybe because I was in meetings all day, and if you'd notice, I just stepped out of the shower." Brian said sarcastically. He was in no mood for Michael's shit tonight.

"Oh," Michael said quietly but quickly let his feelings get the better of him. "I can't believe that little shit! Do you know what he's done now?"

Brian walked back into his bedroom. "Yeah, he's accepting the opportunity of a lifetime. So what's your problem?"

Michael stared at Brian in astonishment. "You mean you know he's going to go to school there and he still expects you to pay for him?! And you're going to do it too I suppose. God Brian! Forget the little asshole already. You don't owe him anything!"

Brian was pulling on his clothes but stopped in shock and anger at Michael's tirade. How dare he act this way! "Get out."

Michael stopped speaking "What…? But Brian!"

Brian stalked toward Michael, the anger radiating off him, and forcing Michael back toward the door. "You are unfucking believable. Where do you get off acting the injured party here? He was my partner, not yours and what I chose to do or not do for him is none of your business. Justin is a brilliant artist and deserves every chance he gets to study and refine his work, and if you MUST know, he did it all on his own."

Stopping at the loft door with Michael on the outside, Brian paused. "Grow up Michael and get a grip."

With that he slammed and locked the door in Michael's shocked face.

Brian leaned again the door and tried to calm himself down. Looking over at his computer he saw that he had mail and walked over to see what it was. Pulling up his email, he quickly scanned through it, deleting some, scanning others, and then there it was, at the bottom. A letter from Justin. Nervously he sat there, staring at the screen, trying to get up the nerve to open it. He knew what it was going to say, but he just wasn't sure that he wanted to see it for himself.

Finally taking a deep breath, he opened Justin's letter.

********************************************************************************************

To: Bkinney@earthlink.net

From: JusTaylor@yahoo.com

Hi Brian,

I know by now that you've probably heard from P.I.F.A. already but it's been hard for me to figure out just what to say to you. I appreciate everything you've done for me, and that you were willing to continue to pay for my education, and as hard as it may be to believe, I still do care about what you think. I got this great opportunity here to go to the Edinburgh College of Art with a full three-year scholarship. I accepted it. I know that you probably don't want to hear it and I don't know if you know it already or not, but I broke it off with Ethan. No matter what he did or I did it just wasn't going to work. I didn't love him and he deserved to be loved. I still miss you but realize that I have to get on with my life and that's what I'm going to do. I hope that when you think of me, if you ever do, that it won't be with anger or hatred. Well, anyway, I just thought I should let you know that I was all right and what was going on.

Love Always

Justin

********************************************************************************************

Brian sat there and reread the letter. Saving the letter, Brian began to research the school. He wanted to make sure that it was all it was cracked up to be.

Two hours later, Brian sat back, impressed and satisfied with what he had found out about the school. Pulling up Justin's letter, he reread it again. Opening, he responded.

********************************************************************************************

To: JusTaylor@yahoo.com

From: Bkinney@earthlink.net

Justin,

I did indeed hear back from P.I.F.A., and in confusion went to the school to find out what was going on. The only thing they would tell me was that you had quit. I had thought about emailing you, but knew that you were due home soon so I thought I'd wait and talk to you then. I guess now we know what's going on though, don't we. The school looks to be a really good one and…

********************************************************************************************

Brian paused as he thought about all he wanted to say, what he would say, and how he was going to say it.

********************************************************************************************

I know that you will do great there and I hope that they realize how lucky they are to have you. I'd like for you to keep me informed of your progress and if there is anything that you ever need, anything at all, all you have to do is ask, even if it's just to talk. You know how to reach me.

Brian

********************************************************************************************

Brian reread his letter and sent it. He knew it didn't say what he wanted to say, and even may have sounded a little cold, but he wasn't going to deny Justin this opportunity, especially one that was offered and he went after. Much like the Justin he used to be. He also wasn't sure how to warm it up without doing that. He only hoped that Justin would reply back.

********************************************************************************************

Brian went on acting like business as usual, while inside he was growing more worried and impatient, for two days before he heard back from Justin.

********************************************************************************************

To: Bkinney@earthlink.net

From: JusTaylor@yahoo.com

Brian,

It was good to hear from you and know that you understand and support my decision. It really is a great school. I know that I should have written sooner but I just wasn't sure what to say, especially since how we parted. I am sorry about that. Oh well, no sense going over that. You should see this school! It is really amazing. It's still a little strange being here in Edinburgh, but Bruce and Arden have really made me feel at home. Bruce is the professor who recommended me to the school and has made sure that I've been given a fair deal everywhere. The school was really impressed with my work on 'Rage', and because of it, I might not even have to take some of the required courses that I'm supposed to take.

So how are you doing and don't give me any of your bullshit answers. How's work and Cynthia? I hear from Lindsey on a regular basis and it sounds as if Gus is growing fast. That's one of the things I'm going to hate about living over here for the next three years. I'm going to miss watching Gus grow. I hope that he doesn't forget me but I don't see how he couldn't since he's so young.

Well, I better get going. Bruce is taking me to look over some apartments or flats as they're called over here. I'll keep in touch.

Love Always

Justin

********************************************************************************************

Brian sat back with a smile at the enthusiasm that Justin was feeling about the school. He could feel it pouring off of the letter. Saving the letter, Brian decided to answer it later as he had plans that he was already running late for.

The next day at work, Brian sat studying his schedule. He had come up with an idea and was going to wait to write Justin until after he had finalized his plans. In frustration he realized that he was booked solid for the next two weeks and there was no way he could cancel or move any of them. However, the following week he had only a couple of things scheduled and he could easily reschedule those. Blocking off that time on his calendar, he began making notes and called Cynthia into the office.

"Cynthia, I need this week cleared on my schedule." Brian said as he handed her a copy as he continued to make notes. "Then get me a flight to Edinburgh. I'll be gone the entire week. If anyone asks, tell them I've gone on a business trip to California or somewhere else and that I'll be in meetings practically the whole time so it won't do any good to try and reach me. I will have my cell phone with me and they can leave a voice mail and I'll try to contact them when I can."

Cynthia nodded and smiled. "So are you going after Justin?"

Brian looked up from his notes and smiled slightly back. "No, but we do need to talk and doing it over email just isn't the way to do it."

Cynthia quit smiling and looked a little confused. "Oh, okay. Well, tell him hello for me and give him my best wishes."

Brian nodded and went back to his notes and Cynthia turned to leave. "Thanks Cynthia and I'll tell him."

Cynthia turned and looked at her boss, but he continued to make his notes, so she left. She only hoped that Brian knew what he was doing, and that whatever it was that he was going to do would help him if not get back to normal, then to make him, be a little easier on himself, because if he didn't lighten up, he was going to end up driving himself into an early grave.

********************************************************************************************

The next two weeks were extremely busy for Brian. He had sent a reply back to Justin telling him about his busy two weeks but hadn't said anything about his plans. He also hadn't told anyone else about his plans either, and that was the way he planned to keep it. He didn't need anyone interfering or butting in where they didn't belong.

Finally it was the day for his trip, and everything went as planned. He arrived at the airport with no one the wiser and boarded his plane. The flight was long but uneventful and it was a nervous Brian who stepped off the plane, went through customs, and hired a taxi to take him to his hotel. Now all he had left to do was see Justin.

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