* Chipped, Plated, and Patched *

Justin quietly entered the room and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower. Sliding into the bed afterwards, to not wake Ethan, he thought about what he was going to do. Ethan's opening night concert was in two days. Justin decided he would wait until after the concert to talk to Ethan. That would allow Ethan to concentrate on his work and give him a little time to think about exactly what he was going to say. He wasn't going to make another mistake. This time he was going to get it right. Rolling onto his side, he sighed and let sleep claim him.

When his breathing indicated that he was asleep, Ethan rolled over to look at him. He could feel that something had changed for Justin but he also felt that it wasn't for the good. He was going to have to figure a way to stop Justin from doing whatever it was he had decided. If he thought that he was going to leave him after only being away for two weeks from all the mess back home, he was wrong. He owed them a chance and he was going to make sure Justin gave it to them. Justin just needed more time away from everyone. More time of what was just the two of them.

Rolling onto his side, he pressed up against Justin's back. Grinding his growing hard on between Justin's ass cheeks, he thought about what it would feel like to fuck him. Ethan then began to run his hands over Justin's body. Stroking his chest, tweaking his nipples slightly while placing soft kisses onto his back. Justin snuggled farther back against Ethan, trying to get closer. Ethan moved his hand farther down to stroke Justin's growing erection. As he started the pleasing stokes, Justin sighed, "Brian".

Ethan stopped what he was doing, a look of hurt on his face. Rolling away from Justin, he moved to the far side of the bed, his erection gone. He refused to fill in for Kinney in Justin's dreams.

After tossing and turning for about an hour, he finally gave up on trying to sleep. The anger and frustration just kept building and he needed to release it. Rising, he dressed, grabbed his violin and left. He would go to the conservatory and see if any of the studios or even the rehearsal hall that they had been using for the past week was open. He would use his emotions to fuel his practice.

He was very glad when he got there to find it open as well as lit. He wasn't happy however to find that someone was already there using the rehearsal hall. Looking closely at who was playing he realized it was William, a fellow violinist in the symphony. Walking to the stage, he paused as he listened to the other man play. Going up onto the stage, he opened he case and joined him. They played heatedly through several songs, going from one piece to the next, challenging, pushing the other in a silent competition but spoken well with their music.

Finally they stopped when they were both breathing heavy and sweating. Ethan and William stood there staring at each other for what seemed like minutes but could only have been a few seconds when William leaned over and kissed him. Ethan pulled back and really looked at William. He wasn't a bad looking man. He was tall, slender and just a couple of years older with sandy brown hair and brown eyes. Looking into his eyes, he saw that which he hadn't seen in Justin's eyes in a long time. Desire, desire for him, wanting to be with him. Not just a need for release or lust. Reaching out his free hand, he wrapped it around William's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. This kiss was more heated and quickly turned aggressive.

Breaking apart, Ethan turned and laid his violin down where it would be safe. It was only then that he thought guiltily of Justin but then his anger took over and pushed the guilt away. Seeing William bent over a chair to place his violin in it's case, Ethan walked up behind him and reached around to stroke William's erection causing a groan. When he started to turn around, Ethan stopped him and began to unbutton his shirt from behind. Opening it but not removing it, Ethan ran his hands over William's chest, pinching the nipples before running his fingers under the waistband of his pants.

Quickly opening them, he pushed William's pants and underwear down then wrapped one hand around his cock to stroke it. William leaned back against Ethan and shivered against the sensations the callused hand sent through his body. Spotting lube and a condom in William's case, Ethan pushed him back over the back of the chair and grabbed them. Undoing his own pants and pushing them down, he quickly prepared William and himself.

He wasn't in the mood to be slow and easy. His anger and frustration were still feeding on him so without much warning, he pushed roughly into William causing him to gasp. Reaching around him, Ethan began to roughly stroke William until he cries out his release all the while pounding into him. While William tries to catch his breath, Ethan finally finds his own release with a shout. Leaning onto William's back, he caught his breath and then slowly pulled out. He knew that he hadn't been easy on him and wasn't going to hurt him anymore then he already had.

Turning from William, Ethan pulled off the condom and tossed it into a nearby trashcan, fastened his pants and picked up his violin. Checking it out to make sure that it was still okay, he walked over to where he had his case and began to put it away. Neither William nor Ethan said anything while they got themselves back together and left the stage.

Justin awoke slowly and stretched. Looking over beside him he saw that the bed was empty and the spot where Ethan laid, cold. Looking at his watch it saw that he had slept the morning away. Ethan must have decided to let him sleep in knowing that he had gotten in pretty late he decided. Crawling out of bed, he slipped on some clothes and went to get something to eat. Stepping outside he stretched and smiled. After coming to his decision last night, he felt as if he could breath again, that he finally had his life back on track. Of course it was a slightly different track then he had hoped for but maybe they would connect somewhere later in life.

Justin brought his food back to the hotel and sitting in front of his computer, set to work. The first thing he did was answer his mail. There was one from Deb, Linds, Em, and his Mom. Then he wrote one to Michael, which included a file of the rough sketches he had done yesterday and other possible drawings for the next edition of `Rage'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: CaptAstro@h...

From: JusTaylor@y...

Michael,

I read over your ideas for the next issue and came up with these rough sketches. There were a couple of areas that just didn't seem right for the places that you wanted them in. I thought of some ideas of my own in which I also included. I'm not saying that they weren't good but that maybe they could go into another issue as part of another storyline. The same goes for my stuff if you don't agree. Let me know what you think and which ones are a definite so I can clean them up.

Justin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin leaned back and ate some of his sandwich as his file was being uploaded to send. Justin then realized that he was going to have to find a printer to print out some of his work for his portfolio as well as buy a portfolio case. Pulling up an empty email he wrote to his mom again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To: JTaylor@R...

From: JusTaylor@y...

Hi Mom,

I know that I just emailed but I just realized something. I need you to Fed-Ex my printer. Michael and I have come to an understanding and we are going to keep on working together to continue `Rage'. So, I'm going to need my printer to send off the finished drawings to Michael and the publisher. I really appreciate it.

Love you!

Justin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After he sent the letter off to his mom, Justin finished filling out his application and other forms. At one point he got stumped and called Bruce who was able to help him out. When he was finished with that he sat back and looked at his watch. He hadn't seen Ethan in almost two days and was beginning to feel a little guilty about that. Justin decided that he would meet Ethan for dinner, which was in about three hours.

Turning back to his computer, Justin went through his files and picked out which ones he wanted to stick in his portfolio. After putting them on a CD, Justin then began to go through his sketchpads. It was a hard decision to make but he finally had what he considered a diverse group of pictures to send to the college with his application. Justin grabbed a quick shower, changed, and with CD in hand went to get a portfolio case and find a printer.

Justin arrived at the conservatory to find that Ethan had already left with a group of fellow musicians for dinner. This didn't bother him too much although he was starting to feel the lack of sex and had kind of hoped to include it in with dinner. Since he was dinning alone, Justin decided to go to the `Sherlock Holmes' again for dinner and maybe take a walk, as he hadn't been out of the hotel much today.

When Justin got back to the room, he was slightly surprised to find that Ethan wasn't there. With a shrug, he began to put his portfolio in order so that all he had to do was go ship it in the morning. Bruce had told him over the phone to just send everything to him and he would take care of it and make sure that he got everything back.

With a stretch and a yawn, Justin glanced at his watch. Shedding his clothes he crawled into bed. The only problem being that he was still horny. He hadn't had sex in over forty-eight hours. First, he thought about his favorite model but that wasn't enough. Then he thought about Ethan, the way he would touch him and started to wish that he were there. Then he saw once again the disappointment in his eyes when he was once again refused the position of top. He knew that Ethan wanted to top him and that to him it made them equals in the relationship but Justin just couldn't bring himself to let him. Slowly stroking himself, he let his thoughts drift and as expected they drifted right to Brian.

He remembered how it had felt when Brian would tease him. How he would kiss and lick Justin's body all over except for the places that he wanted him to do the most. Justin moaned and ran one of his hands up to his nipple ring thinking of Brian doing it with his teeth as his hands wondered down to cup Justin's ass. Justin could almost feel Brian's hands squeezing his ass as he licked his way down toward his straining cock. Justin moved his hand a little faster, squeezing a little harder and remembered the feel when Brian finally took him within his mouth. Justin cried out as he felt Brian stick one of his fingers up his ass and shot his cum all over his chest.

Catching his breath, Justin opened his eyes and wiped the tear that rolled down his face. Justin got out of bed and cleaned up before going back to bed to sleep. He awoke a little later when he felt Ethan crawl into bed with him. Justin rolled toward him and placed an arm around his body to stoke his chest.

Ethan closed his eyes and sighed. "Not tonight Justin. Tomorrow is a big day and I'm really tired tonight."

Justin breathed into Ethan's hair. "That's okay. Go to sleep. You need to be rested for the concert."

Justin closed his eyes and was asleep again within seconds. Ethan on the other hand wasn't. He thought about what he had done this morning and about Justin. He was not going to give up. Closing his eyes he joined Justin in the world of sleep.

Justin woke first and decided to wake Ethan with the best kind of wake up call. Lightly he began to kiss across the back that was toward him as he reached around him for his morning hard-on.

Ethan groaned as he awoke to a hand wrapped around him, stroking him in a slow, tortuous motion as lubed fingers pressed into him.

"Good Morning." Justin whispered, rubbing his erection against Ethan.

Ethan could only gasp and push back onto the fingers that were fucking him. "Justin…" he complained when the fingers disappeared. When he heard the wrapper of the condom being opened, he knew it was time to try again. Ethan then tried to roll to face Justin but was stopped by a hand holding him into place. "Justin, I want to see you."

"Stay there." Justin said, as he finished putting on the condom.

"No," Ethan said pushing harder against the now two hands that were holding him on his side. "I want to watch you take me. I want to watch you as you fill me over and over again."

Justin felt his body tighten at the words and threw his body against Ethan's back; wrapping his hand around the erection he had left earlier and began to stroke it harder. "Do you want this?" Justin whispered in his ear as he rubbed his condom-covered cock in between Ethan's ass cheeks, right up against his spasming hole.

Ethan refused to say anything at first. He just continued to push back against Justin in a battle of wills. He was holding his own until Justin removed his hand from his cock and began to finger fuck him again. Ethan whimpered when Justin removed his fingers and just continued to put the pressure that kept his body where it was. Frustrated with the need to be fucked completely, he relented. "Yes! Yes, damn it!" With that he quit fighting Justin for position.

Justin sighed with relief and rolled Ethan over onto his stomach as he pushed all the way inside him. It didn't take long and they both reached their orgasms quickly.

Justin rolled off of Ethan, removed the condom and tried to catch his breath. Ethan glanced over at Justin and felt his anger grow again. After catching his breath, he rolled to a sitting position on the edge of the bed with his back to Justin.

"You know Justin, I'm not just some trick you brought home to fuck. I'm your boyfriend; your lover and I should be treated as such. When we're out and about, we're fine but in the bedroom, I have no say other then `no' and that's not right. I should have an equal say about what we do together." Getting up off the bed, Ethan walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

Justin looked at the closed bathroom door and knew that he hadn't handled this morning well at all. He walked over to the bathroom door and heard the shower running. Opening the door, Justin walked over to the shower and stepped in. "I'm sorry."

Ethan glanced over his shoulder at him and nodded before turning back into the water but not before Justin saw the hurt in his eyes. Justin took the soap and began to wash Ethan's back. "Do you have time for breakfast?"

Downstairs, they sat and ate breakfast just like they had every morning except for the past two days. Ethan did most of the talking. "Your ticket will be at the box office. Try and get there an hour before hand and maybe we'll be able to spend a little time together. So what are you going to do until the concert?"

"Just walk around, visit another museum, do some more drawing." Justin still hadn't told him about Edinburgh and figured it would wait until tomorrow. That would give him what would be left of today and part of the next day to figure out what he was going to do.

"Tomorrow we've got to take care of laundry and get packing. Our plane to Berlin leaves at 1:00 the day after. " Ethan said, thinking of what little time was left to them in London.

Justin nodded as they both rose to begin their day. With a quick kiss, Ethan left while Justin went upstairs to get everything he would need to send to Bruce. Afterward, he visited some of his favorite spots and did some more drawing. When he got back to the hotel to change he checked his emails and found a couple waiting for him. He answered them quickly, took a shower and got dressed for the evening. Arriving at the concert hall exactly an hour ahead of schedule he got his ticket at the box office and went in search of Ethan.

Justin found Ethan practicing in one of the dressing rooms. "Hi." He greeted.

"Hi." Ethan returned happily, walking over and kissing him. "You made it early. Come on. I'll introduce you to some of the boys since we'll be traveling with them."

Ethan took Justin's hand and led him out the door. "Ethan, wait. I don't want to disturb them. We can do it after the concert."

Ethan laughed, "It's okay. They've been wanting to meet the hot guy who has me rushing out of here most evenings." Ethan proceeded to take Justin around and introduce him.

Justin didn't really like the possessive way in which Ethan's arm was wrapped around him or the tone of his voice as he did it. It was like he was declaring hands off, that he was laying a claim on him instead of an introduction of his boyfriend. Justin decided to overlook it though when he saw how happy Ethan was. As it was time for the symphony to get together, Justin went out front to find his seat.

When the music started, once again Justin got swept up in it and was mesmerized by Ethan on the stage. Afterward, he got caught up in the excitement and joy that everyone was feeling and it wasn't until Ethan was asleep that the euphoria he was feeling from the night began to wear off, leaving him subdued and nervous about tomorrow.

Rising, he began to pace the room. He knew that after tonight that Ethan thought that everything was okay but he knew it wasn't. He didn't love Ethan. He knew that he hadn't really given Ethan a fair chance but he didn't know how to do it. How do you have a relationship with someone you don't love when there is someone out there that you do love. He still loved Brian and he had to face that fact.

Sitting down in the chair, he studied Ethan lying in the bed. Turning he looked at his computer and switched it on. Pulling up a file he hadn't opened since he had moved out of the loft, he looked at the pictures he had there of Brian and his friends and family. Pulling up his favorite picture of Brian, he sat there and studied it while he studied all of his feelings and thoughts. He then looked at Ethan and did the same thing. When he began to stir, Justin quickly closed down his computer.

Ethan reached beside him for Justin and finding it empty, sat up and looked around the room. Finding Justin sitting curled up in a chair, he yawned, "Justin? What are you doing over there? Come on back to bed."

Justin got up and crawled back into bed and allowed himself to be pulled into Ethan's arms. Ethan placed a light kiss on Justin's shoulder and sighed contentedly before drifting back asleep. Justin laid there awake for a while longer before sleep claimed him too.

The sun shining through the window woke them both. Justin still tired after his late night dilemma turned and buried his head in his pillow. Ethan however was awake and ready for the day to begin. "Come on sleepy, we have a lot to do today. If we get finished with everything in time, maybe we can visit one last museum or take a last ride down the Thames."

Justin groaned. "Just give me fifteen more minutes."

Ethan laughed, "Nope, you shouldn't have stayed up so late last night. What were you doing anyway? Suddenly get inspired to draw me?"

Justin winced under his pillow. Sighing, he decided he might as well get it over with. He had hoped to wait until a little later but it didn't look as if Ethan was going to allow it.  Sitting up, he pulled the pillow into his lap and looked at a grinning Ethan. He felt himself start to falter but knew it was something that had to be done. "Ethan, we need to talk before we do anything today."

Ethan still smiling sat down on the bed and reached under the pillow for Justin's morning hard-on. "True, we do need to get some things cleared up, don't we."

Justin pulled Ethan's hand out. "Stop it Ethan, I'm serious."

Ethan saw how serious Justin was being and the smile disappeared from his face. He had felt that after last night that things were finally starting to look up for them. "Okay, I'm listening."

Justin swallowed nervously, "Ethan, listen, I've tried but we aren't going to work…"

Ethan interrupted, "Tried?! You haven't tried. We've only been gone from Pittsburgh for two weeks. In that time, you've kept in contact with everyone. Have you been emailing Brian as well on your computer? Well? Have you?" Justin shook his head no. "Well that's a plus but probably the only one. You have moped around our apartment the whole time and you haven't done much better around here?! You're even still drawing him! So you tell me how hard you've tried when you haven't."

"Ethan, look." Justin began feeling really bad at the justified anger that Ethan was unleashing. "I don't know what to tell you but that I just don't see it happening. You've still got time to cash in my tickets, all I ask is that you give me a ticket home."

"No." Ethan said while his mind was running a mile a minute.

"No?" Justin couldn't believe that Ethan would leave him stranded even if he was mad at him.

"No." Ethan said, "I'll tell you what. You come with me and you truly try. I mean it! You have to really give us a shot and if by the end of a months time, you still feel that way, I'll cash in the rest of your tickets and give you your flight back home."

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're blackmailing me into being your boyfriend?"

Ethan smirked, "Don't look at it that way. Look at it as I'm asking for a fair chance. One that you haven't given us." Justin sat there stunned, as Ethan rose from the bed and walked toward the bathroom.

"Think about it Justin. I'm going to take a shower and get started. But remember one thing. You're the one who originally chose me so I think it's only fair for me to demand this. Don't you?"

With that, Ethan shut the door and turned on the shower. Stepping into the stall, he allowed his emotions free rein at last. He allowed the angry tears to fall as he slid down to the floor of the stall and muffled his cries with hands. He hated the word blackmail but he did deserve a chance and a fair chance.

Justin meanwhile sat there staring at the closed bathroom door. He had no idea how it had happened but he had lost control of the conversation. Getting out of the bed, he dressed quickly and left the room. He needed to think and he couldn't do it with Ethan in the room.

Going to the nearest park, he began to think about what all Ethan had said. Had he lied? No, not really. Had he wanted to? He didn't know. Did Ethan deserve a chance? Probably but the main question was, could he really try. He just didn't know. He thought about calling his mom. She would get him a ticket home but the expense would hurt her. He could call Linds or Deb but neither of them could really afford it. Then there was the application to Edinburgh. If it came through, then he wouldn't need the ticket home, at least not yet.

Sighing, he turned back toward the hotel. He would give Ethan what he wanted. At least until he heard from the college, then he would make his final decision.

Looking at his hotel room door, he took a deep breath then entered. "Ethan?"

Ethan was gathering his dirty clothes and packing what was left of his clean clothes in his suitcase. Turning to face Justin, he hoped that his face didn't show the fear that he was feeling. "Yes?"

Justin nervously grabbed his suitcase and began doing the same. "You were right. I didn't try. I'll go with you and try to give this a fair shot. However, I am not going to stop drawing `Rage". It is the only source of income I'm going to have coming in for awhile and I'll need it for college when I get back home."

Ethan couldn't help the smile spread across his face at the fact that Justin was going to try. He didn't notice that Justin had said `when he got home.' Alright then, lets get this laundry done."

Justin smiled slightly, "Yeah, lets get this done because I would like to see the sunset on the Thames before we go grab some dinner tonight."

Ethan kept smiling, "Sunset on the Thames it is then. Come on, we've got a lot to do."

Justin continued to pack but couldn't help feeling that he was making another mistake. Oh well, he just needed to wait to hear from Bruce and then he could hopefully get his life back on track and in some kind of order. Until then, he would live with his decision and try to give Ethan what he wanted.

Return to Glitter and Shine