* Tarnished *

Brian walked into the munchers to find a bawling Gus and two distraught mommies. "What the hell's going on here?!"

Gus upon seeing his daddy, held out his hands to Brian but didn't stop crying as he was picked up. Instead, he tucked his head under Brian's chin and continued to cry as if his heart was breaking.

"He misses Justin." Lindsey told him.

"You mean to tell me that that little shit quit coming to visit Gus just because we aren't together anymore?!" Brian said angrily. Reaching for his phone, he called Justin's cel to give him a piece of his mind only to find out that it was no longer in service. He didn't see the look that Linds and Mel gave each other over the fact that he still had Justin's number programmed in his phone. "His phone is disconnected. I'll chew him a new asshole at the diner for this."

Before either of the girls could say anything, Gus quit crying and looked up at Brian. "Jus gone." Quickly his eyes filled up with tears and he bawled out "Jus Gone! Want Jus!"

Gus, Daddy and Justin aren't together anymore but he isn't gone. You'll see him real soon." Brian was determined to see Justin this afternoon and hopefully Gus would see him tonight if not, tomorrow.

"No, Brian. He won't. Justin went to Europe with Ethan for the summer." Linds told him.

"What? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Brian said, his heart once again falling into the pit of his stomach even though no sign of it showed on his face for anyone to see.

Mel snorted, "Tell you! You've got to be kidding me. You've made it perfectly clear to everyone that you don't want to know or hear anything that has to do with Justin."

Linds placed her hand on Mel's arm. "Hon? Could you go get a warm wash cloth for me?" Looking over at a now sleeping Gus, she nodded okay but sent an angry look at Brian.

"Brian, I did try to tell you. So has everyone else but every time we bring up Justin's name, you get mad and turn into an uncaring prick." Lindsey pointed out.

Mel came back into the room and gently washed Gus's face before taking him out of Brian's arms and going upstairs with him to put him in his bed. Brian watched them go before turning back to face Lindsey. "So he's just gone for the summer. He'll be back in time for the fall semester." He said more to himself then to Lindsey.

Lindsey watched as Brian headed toward to door. "You know, Brian, if you want to get in touch with him, he took his computer with him and checks his email regularly. That's why Gus was so upset. We read an email message to Gus and he wanted to see him instead of us reading him a message."

Brian paused at the door. "Now why would I want to do that."

As he walked out the door, he still heard her reply. "Because you still love him."

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Brian walked into the comic book store. "Hey Mikey. How's it going?"

Walking up to the counter he noticed Michael try to hide some papers that he was looking at. Brian recognized Justin's work right way. "What have you got here Mikey?" Brian asked as he grabbed the papers.

Michael blushed at being caught by Brian. "They're drawings for the new edition of 'Rage'.

Brian continued to flip through the artwork and read the mock ups. "Well, I'm glad you came to your senses and put aside your misconstrued feelings. It would have been a shame for 'Rage' to have died after only one edition."

Michael took the pages back and put them in a file. "So you're not mad that I'm working with Justin again?"

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" Brian raided the candy jar on the counter. "I told you from the beginning you were being silly. You both can use the money that you'll make from this and it is a good comic. So when did you finally decide to start talking to him again?"

Michael continued to look uneasy, after all, they were talking about Justin. "Well…Ben kept talking to me about the way I was acting and I guess it finally sunk in that I was being an asshole where I had no right to be. By the time I decided to talk to Justin though, he was already on his way to Europe. So I thought that was the end of it but then Lindsey was telling Ma about Justin still being able to get emails and I knew that I still could talk to him. I emailed Justin over a week ago with an apology and asked if he still wanted to work on 'Rage'. He accepted and I sent him my ideas. These," Michael waved at his files, "are what he sent back."

Brian nodded, "Good. So?! Are we on for Woody's tonight?"

Michael smiled. "Yeah, I'll meet you there at nine."

Brian walked toward the door. "You know Brian, you could write to him if you wanted to. I doubt that he would delete it unread."

Brian paused, looking over his shoulder at Michael. "Now why would I want to do that? He made his choice."

Brian walked out the door and down the walk to his jeep. Climbing in he headed home. Once inside the loft, he dropped his briefcase by his computer and stared at it. Reaching over he began to turn it on when he stopped himself. He was not going to email Justin. Why should he? He was no longer his concern, his lover, his partner, his anything. If Justin wanted to talk to him, he would email him first. Turning away from the computer, Brian began to remove his clothes. He was going to go take a shower before meeting the boys at Woody's.

Once in the shower, Brian tried to chase the thoughts of Justin from his mind by trying to think of other things but it was no good. They had been separated for over a month and still he missed him. He wasn't really mad at Justin for what had happened, at least not any more. More like, he was mad at the situation, the way everyone was treating it. As he began to wash his thoughts remained on Justin. On how there were still times when he would walk through the door and call out to him. But the night times were the worst. He never thought that he'd get used to sleeping next to someone, especially someone who cuddled. Damn, the minute he thought of Justin cuddling, pressing his body up against his in the bed made his body respond. Ignoring his erection, he started to wash his hair but in closing his eyes, allowed him to see images of all the times he and Justin had washed each other.

Brian sighed, rinsed the soap out of his hair and followed the suds down his chest with his hand into the hair surrounding his growing hard on. Keeping his eyes closed he remembered what it was like for Justin to wash his body, how he would run his hands all over before finally wrapping one of them around Brian's cock, soaping it up while making it hard. Brian remembered the fell of those hands as the moved up to the tip and then back down to cup his balls.

Brian began to jack himself off as he imagined Justin being in the shower with him. In his mind he saw himself running his hands over Justin, soaping him all over but paying special attention to his cock and ass. Brian remembered the exact feel of Justin's skin through the soap, even the taste once it was rinsed off. Brian's movements began to get a little faster as he thought about the sounds that Justin would make as he began to prepare him. Brian squeezed himself harder thinking about how tight Justin always was, the feel of him surrounding his cock and especially as he spasm around him as he came. With these thoughts Brian shot his load onto the shower wall. Brian cleaned him and the shower wall off and got out. He was going to have to stop doing this. Getting dressed Brian left for Woody's.

Walking into Woody's Brian found the others already there. As he walked up to them they all stopped talking. "What?"

Michael paused before continuing the conversation. "We were talking about 'Rage' and the drawings that Justin has done. I was talking over some of the suggestions he made and was asking what the others thought."

"Why do you need their opinions? You're the writer." Brian asked.

"I know but I want to make sure that I'm actually giving the ideas a fair shot and not letting my past feelings get in the way." Michael said.

"So what do you boys think of the next issue so far?" Brian asked as if talking about Justin was nothing out of the ordinary.

Ted and Emmett looked at each other then turned to Michael who just shrugged. Before long they were all discussing the next edition of 'Rage' and Brian was finding out all the current information about Justin. For Brian this would have to do until Justin got back from Europe for the new semester in a couple of months. Then he would decide what he was going to do. Until then, he would continue on as before.

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