* Lost and Found *

One Year Later

"That was your decision to make before you met me, but now we've been together for a year and I can't believe that you're even asking me this. You know how I feel about my home, my family, and how important it is to me to finish my schooling here. I don't see why you can't stay here!" Quinn shouted, angrily cleaning his brushes.

Justin sighed and tried not to let his own anger get to him. "Quinn, I can't! I've been away from my home for two years now. I'm graduating in less than a week and I want to go home. I need to go home. PIFA is a great school and I know that you can get in. You just won't try."

It was the same thing he had been saying to Quinn for the past two weeks. Quinn, letting his anger get the best of him, threw down the brushes he had been cleaning and turned to face Justin. "I don't see why I have to move. You obviously don't feel the same way about your family as I do mine. I mean after all, you chose to leave and apply here for school. You yourself told me that you needed to get away. Well I don't feel that way. I don't feel the need to pack up and leave everyone and everything that I know and love."

Justin and Quinn both knew they weren't getting anywhere. Quinn turned back to cleaning his brushes and Justin with a sigh went back to his packing. He had already decided that this was going to be the last time they had this argument and he was thankful that at least this time Quinn hadn't thrown the "If you loved me" statement in this time.

When Justin had finished the box he was packing, he walked back into the living area to find Quinn still standing at the sink, his brushes forgotten, crying. When he heard Justin come into the room he turned to him. "This is it, isn't it? When you leave here in a few days, you won't be coming back will you?"

Justin shook his head no. "I think we both know that. This morning, I went down and put the lease in your name. Do you want me to go stay with Bruce and Arden till I leave?"

This time it was Quinn who shook his head no. "No, I want what little time I have left with you. Without the fights, anger, and resentments that have been building up over the past couple of weeks. I love you so much Justin Taylor."

Justin wrapped Quinn into his arms and cried with him. "I want that too and I love you."

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Justin graduated at the top of his class, and beamed with pride out at his mom, sister, Bruce, Arden, and Quinn. He had already shipped most of his things to Pittsburgh, and what little was left would go on the plane with him and his family. They were going to Bruce and Arden's house to celebrate, and then the next day they would be on a plane for Pittsburgh. Justin was nervous.

That night, Justin and Quinn made sweet, sad love and hot desperate sex for the last time. In the wee hours of the morning, they whispered the words of love they both so needed to hear before they fell asleep.

The next morning saw a very subdued party at the airport. Bruce, Arden, and Quinn had all come to say goodbye. Justin looked over the people who had been his family for almost two years and felt his eyes well up with tears again.

"Justin, honey, come on. They're getting ready to start the boarding calls for our flight." Jennifer said knowing how hard this was for her son.

Walking over to Bruce and Arden, she hugged them tightly to her. "Thank you. Thank you so much for caring and loving my son."

Bruce and Arden hugged her back. "You're welcome. He is easy to love." Arden said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Thank you for sharing him with us." Bruce whispered back.

Jennifer stepped back and switched with her son. Hugging Quinn, she didn't quite know what to say. "You take care of yourself. If you ever come to the states please come and see us."

Quinn nodded, hugging her back. He too didn't know what to say. "I will."

Both knew that they would probably never see each other again.

Meanwhile, Justin was repeatedly hugging Bruce and Arden. He knew that it was going to be hard saying goodbye to these people who had become family to him, but he hadn't realized it was going to be this hard. Tears streaming down his face, he hugged them both hard to him.

"Thank you, thank you so much for everything. I just don't know where to begin. You've done so much for me. I'll never forget it." Justin whispered. "Thank you for trusting and believing in me."

Bruce and Arden hugged him back equally hard. Arden was crying so hard that she couldn't say a thing but hold on. Bruce meanwhile, didn't care who saw his tears, hugged and whispered back. "Thank you, Justin. Thank you for trusting us as well. We love you and you better keep in contact with us or I'm going to come over there and give you a proper set to. You understand?"

Justin nodded and with a final hug and kiss turned to Quinn. Pulling Quinn into a tight hug they cried together for a bit before Jennifer reminded them of the boarding calls.

Justin placed his hands on either side of Quinn's face and kissed him tenderly through their tears. "I love you and you know where to find me if you change your mind."

Quinn nodded. "Yeah, and the same goes for you."

Justin nodded and pulled Quinn over to Arden and Bruce. "Take care of him for me, okay?"

Bruce and Arden nodded. Justin kissed Quinn one more time as he heard Molly whine about needing to get on the plane and turned and walked toward his mom and sister. As they walked through security, he looked back one last time toward the three people who over the past two years had become so important to him. Seeing them still watching, he tried to smile and wave, before turning and going to the gate to board his plane. Even though he knew he could no longer see them, he looked back again before walking through the doorway that would lead him home.

Justin tried to keep from crying as he sat down next to his mom. He had been offered the window seat but refused, sitting in aisle seat instead.

Worriedly, Jennifer watched him, scared that he would change his mind and get off the place. As the plane began to pull away from the gate, she did a small sigh of relief and felt the guilt wash over her for feeling relieved.

As the plane began to take off, Justin quietly began to sob but when Jennifer tried to put her arm around her heartbroken son, he pulled back and looked at her. "I'm not a child mom, so please don't think you can comfort me like one. You can't kiss this and make it all better for me."

Jennifer pulled her arm back and reached for her purse. Pulling out a pack of travel size tissues, she handed them to Justin. "I know Justin. You're a grown man now but you'll always be my little boy, especially in my heart. It's just going to take me a little bit of time to remember that and learn not to treat you as one."

Justin nodded and accepted his mother's hand allowing her to offer that bit of comfort as the plane began its journey back to the states.

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That same week in Pittsburg…

"Brian, I've already explained this to you several times. This is what I've been working for since I joined Dwyers. I've got to do this." Tristan sighed as he continued looking over some papers he had brought home with him.

Brian sat across from him staring at the man who had been his lover and partner for almost a year. "I thought we were good, that…that you loved me."

Tristan looked up and set down his papers with a sigh. "Brian, yes we are good, and you know I love but do you love me? I mean really love me? I love you enough to stay, but do you love me enough to go?"

Brian met Tristan's eyes. "You know I can't go. I'm a partner in the company and then there's Gus. I don't want to leave him."

Looking down at his hands, his voice dropped to almost a whisper. "You know I…I care about you."

Tristan sighed again and rubbed his face. "Yes Brian, I know you do and in your way it is love but as much as I wish it was enough to last the rest of our lives, we both know it isn't. If I thought it was, I'd stay but I don't and I can't."

Brian looked up and saw the truth in Tristan's eyes. It was one of the things he liked about him. "I…" Brian closed his eyes and sighed. Opening them he slumped back in his chair. "When do you leave?"

Tristan looked back down at the papers he had set down. "The end of the week, I already sent my signed contract to them."

Brian stood up and walked toward the kitchen. Brian stopped near the island and looked over his should sadly. "Does it mean anything that I don't want you to go?"

Tristan sighed and stood. "More then you know but its not enough. I'm sorry, Brian."

Brian nodded. "So this is it then."

Tristan walked over and stood in front of Brian. "Yeah, it is, but at least now you know that you can have a relationship, that you can do it. Maybe now you and Justin can have another chance."

Brian looked up at Tristan in shock. "Is that what this is all about? You're doing this just because Justin is coming home?!"

Tristan sighed. "It's part of it. Brian, let me finish before you say anything. I know that you love me, but you never really stopped loving Justin. I mean, look at this wall."

Brian looked over at the wall where the naked man used to hang. "What about it? It's pictures of my family, my friends."

Tristan nodded. "Yes, but they're all drawn by Justin, and don't think that I don't know about the photos that you've taken from the girls, or the sketch books that you still have of his. I think I've always known that I was a test. You needed to see if you could be in a relationship so that when Justin came home, you'd be ready."

Brian shook his head. "Tristan, that's not true. When we started dating, Justin was seeing someone else. I started dating you because of you, not Justin."

Tristan wrapped his arms around Brian. "I know, and over time, I thought that the longer we were together the more you'd grow to love me, and stop loving Justin, but you haven't. As I've said, I know you love me, but with Justin coming home, how long before you started to feel torn? You know, if it was just the drawings of the family and the Rage comics, I'd feel that I might stand a chance. I'd stay and fight for you, but when I found the other stuff, I knew that eventually I'd lose. That's why it's better that I go now."

Brian hugged Tristan tightly. "I'm going to miss you."

Tristan nodded and squeezed Brian tighter. "I'm going to miss you too."

Brian leaned back and looked into the glistening eyes of his lover. Slowly he placed a gentle kiss on Tristan's lips before he released his hold on him and pulled him into the bedroom where they made love through the night.

The next day after work, began the packing of Tristan's things. Brian began by helping, but after an hour, couldn't stand it and left Tristan to do it alone. While he hadn't stopped going to clubs, he had cut back and as for the tricking, it was so seldom and discreetly done that most people assumed that he had stopped. That night when he got home, he smelled of scotch and Tristan had his hands full getting him into bed before he passed out.

The following two days saw Tristan finishing his packing and trying to act as if nothing was different between him and Brian. Brian however was beginning to retreat back behind his walls to hide the pain he was feeling. While everything was the same in bed, out of it he began to pull farther and farther away from Tristan.

The last night Tristan was in town, they had gone to Debbie's for a farewell family dinner before heading back to the loft. The moving van had been there that day and Brian looked around the loft noticing how empty it now seemed. Without a word or look at Tristan, Brian walked into the bedroom and began to remove his clothes. Tristan sighed and walked up and hugged him from behind, stopping his movements. "Brian stop."

Brian didn't move but didn't say anything as well. Tristan moved around so that he was facing Brian. "Don't do this."

Brian refused to meet Tristan's eyes. "Don't do what."

Tristan placed his hand on Brian's face forcing him to meet his eyes. "You know what. Don't go back behind your walls. You've worked hard to overcome them. Promise me that you won't go back."

Brian's couldn't keep the sadness from his eyes or fight the hurt that he was feeling any longer. Finally returning Tristan's embrace he said, "Peter Pan had to grow up sometime. I can't promise that I won't, but I'll try not to."

Tristan leaned in for a tender kiss. After making love slowly one last time, they did nothing more than hold each other as they thought about the changes that were happening in their lives.

The next morning, Tristan didn't wake Brian, as they hadn't fallen asleep until almost dawn. Rising, he showered, cried, dressed and with a tender kiss, left the loft for the last time. He dropped his keys in the mailbox, and before climbing into the cab that was waiting to take him to the airport, he looked up at the windows that had been his home for the past year. Looking down at him was Brian. Nodding, Tristan turned and climbed in. Within moments, the cab was gone.

Brian continued to look out the window hoping that Tristan would change his mind and he'd see the cab come back down the street. After about fifteen minutes, he knew that it wasn't going to happen. Taking a deep but shaky breath, Brian began his preparations for another work day.

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The next month had the members of the family watching as both Justin and Brian tried to come out from behind their walls. Brian after about a month began to visit the clubs and was once again living up to his title of "Stud of Liberty Avenue", but the cruel asshole that he used to be was not often seen. Justin meanwhile was getting his life back by looking for a place to live and continued to work on 'Rage'. Lindsey had heard that another gallery in the city was looking for a manager, and after giving him the number, he had an interview all lined up. He hoped that the gallery job came through so that he could continue to work on his art and maybe one day get some of it shown.

Finally the family began to relax as they realized that while neither man seemed happy, they were moving on with their lives. While neither man went out of their way to avoid everyone, the business of their lives did keep them from running into each other, and away from full blown, well intentioned, family meetings.

Justin got the job at the art gallery and found an apartment that allowed him to get out from under the watchful eye of his mother. While she still worried about the sadness that had surrounded him, it seemed to slowly disappear as he buried himself in his job, art, and apartment. Debbie saw him on the odd occasion that he happened to stop in for lunch. Michael saw him about once every two weeks for 'Rage'. The people who saw him the most were Lindsey, Mel, and Gus.

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About a month later, Justin was working on a particular painting and had finally finished it. Standing back, he smiled with satisfaction as he looked it over. Reaching over, he turned on the radio as he began to clean up his supplies. Before long, he was singing and dancing to the music as he finished. Catching a glimpse of himself reflected in a mirror, he laughed as he saw how much paint he'd gotten on himself.

Stepping into the bathroom, he started the shower as he stripped. Once under the hot water, he began to scrub himself clean as he continued to hum, the song that was playing in his head. Once he felt that he was clean, he stepped out of the shower and began to dry off. Still humming, he looked for some clothes to put on and stopped. He realized that he didn't want to stay home. He wanted to go out and dance. For the first time in awhile, he was feeling good again, even happy in a way he hadn't since he had come home, and damn if he didn't feel like getting laid.

Looking over his clothes, he realized that he didn't have much in the way of club clothes. Finally, he decided on a pair of his black jeans and a blue, long sleeve, silk shirt. Pulling on his boots once he was finished dressing; he grabbed his black leather jacket. Taking another look in the mirror, he decided that he really didn't look too bad.

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Justin stepped into Babylon, dropped off his coat and stepped into the main room. He smiled as the thump thump of the music and flashing lights surrounded him for the first time in over two years. Almost instantly he was cruised and asked to dance. Justin looked at the guy and shook his head no. He was no longer the young twink he had been when he had first began to come here. Now he was a man in his own right and would be the one doing the cruising.

Stepping farther out into the room, he looked around until a man caught his eye. Working his way onto the floor, he walked right up to him, and stopped right in front of him with a smile. Looking him up and down, the man smiled back and began to dance with him.

Justin dance several dances with him and a couple of other men that had moved around him, trying to get his attention, before breaking off and moving to the nearest bar to get a drink. Leaning over the bar, he order a drink, and as he took a sip, turned to look around the room. Just about then he heard an excited squeal and looked over to where Emmett, Ted, Michael, and Ben were walking toward him.

"Oh baby, I can't believe your finally here! I've been trying to get you to come out with us for months now. What changed your mind?" Emmett said excitedly.

Justin laughed as Emmett embraced him. "I don't know. I finished a painting I was working on, and when I got out of the shower, I just felt like coming to Babylon."

Michael laughed, "He's young and single and felt like getting laid is more like it."

"You're right." Justin laughed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I see a likely prospect that needs my perusal."

Justin left them shaking their heads as he approached a good-looking man, and after a quick word in his ear, began to dance with him.

Ted shook his head sadly and sighed. "I guess he didn't get away from Brian quick enough after all."

Emmett slapped Ted on the arm. "That wasn't a nice thing to say Teddy and you know it. They really did love each other. The time just wasn't right for them. Besides, look at what has happened over the past couple of years. They've both had other relationships."

Michael shook his head as well. "Em's right Ted. Justin is a young man, and has the right to go on the prowl. That doesn't mean that he's like Brian."

The three men looked over to where Justin had been dancing only to find him no longer there. Fifteen minutes later, Justin joined them back at the bar smiling. Once he ordered his drink, he relaxed against the bar and looked at the expressions on his friends faces. "What?"

Emmett smiled and leaned next to him. "Well, how was he?"

Ted shook his head and Michael laughed. Justin just continued to smile and took another drink. "Not bad."

Justin looked back out into the crowd and didn't see the person coming up to the bar until he spoke. "How ya doing boys."

Brian hadn't seen Justin standing there until he had come upon the guys. Brian looked Justin over and noticed all the changes. "Hello Sunshine. It's good to see you."

Justin felt his heart drop and turned to the speaker. "Hey Brian. It's good to see you too. How have you been?"

Brian smiled, he liked the man his sunshine had become so far. "Pretty good, and you?"

Justin smiled back. "Jobs good, apartment is alright, and my painting is coming along, so I can't complain too much."

Brian ordered a drink from the bar and looked around the room as he waited for it. He wasn't sure what to say to Justin but finally came up with something. Picking up his drink, he turned back to the group and continued. "Lindsey said something about you possibly having a show at your gallery soon."

Justin nodded and felt his heart do another summersault and took another drink. Regardless of how his body was reacting to Brian, they hadn't been together for two years, and he had changed. He wasn't the love sick, naive seventeen year old any longer. Deciding that he had to do something before he embarrassed himself, he looked back around the room and found a body of interest. "Yeah, after I get a couple of more done, if the gallery owner likes them, he's already agreed to let me have a small show. It's a start."

The guy that Justin had been watching turned and smiled at him. Justin finished off his drink and with a smile to the group said. "See ya later boys."

The four men watched as Justin made his way over to the guy and after a brief conversation, left Babylon. Brian wasn't sure how he felt about it, but he knew that the feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn't normal. As soon as he had seen Justin, he had immediately schooled himself to hide everything until he could figure out what he was going to do. Brian felt himself being watched and looked around at his friends. "What?"

Michael, Ted, and Emmett all shook their heads. "Nothing." They said in chorus.

Brian turned to where Justin had been standing and thought for a moment that Justin still had the hottest ass and wished that maybe things were different between them before resuming his cruise of the room. Deciding on a possible partner for the night, he finished his drink and said to the guys. "Later boys."

Emmett, Ted, and Michael looked at each other and shook their heads again. Some things changed but others it seemed stayed the same. They figured they would just have to keep an eye out and wait for the drama of the Brian and Justin show to begin.

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