Back on Track

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was discussing 216 with Jude T last night, and the words just flowed out of me from there Some of her commentary is incorporated in this fic - thanks, Jude!!! **smooches**

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I should have known Brian would get me something lame for my birthday. When the powers that be were handing out sensitivity and romance, Brian was standing in another line. How thoughtless of him to presume a hustler, who was a pale imitation of that model I like (and ugly to boot), would be an ideal birthday gift! He just doesn't get it!

I came home, feeling so high and reassured that queers can be romantic. Ethan Gold - what can I say? He's cute, just a wee bit arrogant (but aren't most artists?), and made me feel like a giddy schoolgirl. Brian's so-called 'gift' brought me down from that high harder than Chris Hobbs' bat.

We went to that stupid, racist surprise party Michael and Emmett threw for Ben - what a fiasco! Ben was PISSED, and rightly so. He had things on his mind, and I'm sure he was insulted by the way this party butchered his philosophy. Michael took off, and Brian took off after him, leaving me in the fallout. Michael has this hold on Brian I just don't understand. And Brian, the stupid fuck, doesn't even realize Mikey has him by the balls!

I ran into Ethan at school the next day - accidentally on purpose comes to mind. He brought me back up to my previous high with a few words - what a guy! **sigh** Why can't Brian be like that? I don't get it.

Imagine my shock when I came back to the loft, and saw a beautiful bouquet of red roses. Brian had them in a gorgeous Lalique vase, sitting right by my computer. Beside it sat a chocolate Hostess cupcake with a lit candle in it. As if on cue, Brian stepped out of the bedroom, wearing his requisite black wife beater and button-fly jeans. His damp hair signaled to me that he'd taken a shower. God, he's beautiful when he's a little damp - I just stood there, staring at him.

"Hey Sunshine," Brian said. He sounded nervous - oh, he IS nervous! He's scratching that little spot on his back. I looked in his eyes, wanting so badly to erase the terror in them. It took a lot for him to make such a small gesture.

I plucked the card from the bouquet, and ripped open the envelope. I looked up at Brian, and noticed he was looking at the floor. Damn - he's terrified. I began to read.

"I'm not good at this - I've always been unapologetic about the things I've done, but I realize I fucked up. I just wanted to make up for yesterday. Love, B."

The typed words became blurry as my eyes filled with tears. The fact that he signed the card 'Love' said more than all the "I'm sorry's" in the world.

I blew out the candle on the cupcake, and picked it up. It was cut in half, and the cream scooped out - I pulled the halves apart, and a small metal object fell out onto the desk with a clang. I took a bite out of one half of the cupcake, and picked up the wayward piece of metal.

"Holy shit, Brian!" I cried. He'd slipped a platinum wedding band in the cupcake! I didn't see that coming from anywhere! I asked him, "What does this mean?"

"It means...it means...FUCK!" Brian thrust a hand through his hair. 'Why is this so hard?' he said.

"It means you love me," I told him, and closed the distance between us. I hugged him and said, "It's alright - I know what you meant." And I do. I don't expect us to be walking down the aisle in Vermont yet, but one day we will. For now, this apology is enough for me.

"I'm sorry," I heard whispered in my ear. I nuzzled against Brian, reassuring him I forgave him - THIS time. The jury's still out on the day he pissed on my work. "As you always say, sorry's bullshit - just don't do it again," I warned before kissing him.

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