I honestly didn’t mean to get Justin into trouble with Brian. I was just so hurt that Brian didn’t think enough of me or Justin to tell us what was really going on. With everything that twink has put Brian through, and for Brian to keep taking him back time and again, I was really shocked that Brian would push him away – and so cruelly.

Sure, I’ve been at fault for some of their blowups in the past – and this time is no exception. But in spite of it all, Rage and JT have prevailed over adversity.

The problem with Brian is that everyone believed he was this rock; that nothing bad would ever happen to him. Hell, we all believed nothing bad would ever happen to him. Cancer was always something old people got – it wouldn’t affect us thirty somethings. I think that’s what shocked me more: that Brian Kinney was sick. I hardly remembered him even having a cold in all the years I’d known him.

It’s not so much the illness that’s got Brian acting crazy; it’s losing a testicle. Brian has always prided himself on being the best – in business, in sex, in living large...primarily in sex. Losing a testicle hit him exactly where it hurt – in his endless quest for perfection. He thinks he’s damaged goods now, so he chose to get rid of Justin before Justin would see his flaw and leave.

I feel like it was the whole birthday party thing again, only this time it was Justin getting hurt, not me. And before I lost all my senses and started seeing Justin as some sort of enemy, I should have remembered how he got Brian and I back in the groove. I think it’s time I repaid Justin for his unselfish act of love.

I showed up at the loft, pretty much prepared for Brian to send me packing.  And he did within five minutes of me being there. I was never really strong enough to stand up to Brian, but I knew who was…at least he was until the big asshole kicked him out of his life.

I cornered Justin at the comic shop when he brought in the latest panels.   I told him I was wrong, that we should confront Brian. I didn’t want the whole posse there, just the two of us. At first he basically told me to fuck off, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I remembered it was the same look he had when he walked out of the Rage party with that fiddler.  It was the same look in Brian’s eyes I saw as he watched Justin leave.

I thank my lucky stars every day that I found someone as wonderful as Ben; someone I can fight with and still stand. These two are the biggest drama queens in Pittsburgh; but they love each other so much it hurts. It pains me when Brian’s hurting, especially when he uses that hurt to make everyone else miserable. It has to stop, and it has to stop now.

Ma cooked her famous chicken soup, and we packed it up and headed over to the loft to face the beast. Justin was still pissed at me, but he was willing to try – that was more than enough for me. For all the shit we’d put each other through, we both have one goal in mind, and that was to get Brian to start being a man.

Justin unlocked the door and we barged in, hollering Brian’s name. I set the soup on the bar and sat there to wait. I wanted Justin to be the first to speak. He turned to face me with a shocked look on his face and said, “He’s gone.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘gone’?”

“He’s not in the bed. He hasn’t taken any of his clothes, but he’s not here.”

Well, so much for our master plan. I was about to formulate Plan B when Brian walked in the door.

“Where the hell were you,” he asked Justin.

“Here.”

“I mean twenty minutes ago. I went to your place and Daphne said you were at the Diner. I went to the Diner and Deb told me you and Michael were here.”

“Why the fuck would you suddenly want to find me?”

“Justin, I’ve tried to go on without you – it sucked.”

“Damn right it sucked you shithead! Do you think it was a picnic for me?  You weren’t the one told to get the fuck out of your life!”

The last time Justin was this angry was when he went off on me two days ago; scratch that –he hasn’t been this pissed since he confronted me for telling Brian about the fiddler.

“I just didn't want you to think –”

“What? That you’re not perfect anymore? Who the fuck is? Brian, when I told you I love you I meant it. I meant it three years ago when you cut me off in saying it, and I meant it when you told me you were going to Ibiza.  What’s one fucking nut going to change about that?”

I decided I’d done my part and split – at least they were talking, even if it was Brian making excuses and Justin giving him Hell. I laughed as I headed down the stairs. I really, really underestimated Justin Taylor. An idea for a new Rage storyline formed in my head…something about JT discovering powers he never knew he had and rescuing Rage…it could work – it could even be part of the movie.

Fin

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