Blue Light Special

NOTES: This fic is dedicated to LaMonica, for always cutting to the chase. You really know how to get to the "heart" of the matter, and we B/J freaks appreciate you for it!

WARNINGS: This fic involves some mild kink with foodstuffs; so if this is something you find offensive, please find another fic to read.

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Brian slid open the heavy door, and stopped dead. He couldn't believe what he saw - lit white candles covered every flat surface of the loft. Pink rose petals littered the floor from the door to the bedroom. It was dark inside, save for the candles and blue lights over his bed casting an eerily romantic glow over the loft. "What the fuck?" he said to no one in particular. He hadn't turned on his blue lights since Justin moved out a year ago.

Curious, he closed his door, set the alarm, and headed straight for the bedroom. He sneaked around the rose-scented bed, and heard the shower running. Brian froze when he saw a familiar pale figure in his shower. "What the fuck is Justin doing here," he wondered. Brian and Justin have been apart for a year, and suddenly, here's Justin, showering in the loft.

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After the Rage fiasco, Justin moved out the next morning, and moved back in with his mother. He didn't want to move out of one boyfriend's home into another's. He didn't want to move in with Deb again, because of the close proximity to Brian.

Shortly before Ethan left for Europe after winning the Heifitz, Justin broke up with him. No matter how much it pained him to admit it, Justin knew his heart would always belong to Brian Kinney. Once the memories of the Prom began to return, he knew he would never love anyone else.

One night, while talking to Justin about his love woes, Jennifer let it slip that Brian was at the hospital during that difficult period. "Honey, you have to understand Brian - he had a rough childhood, and because of that he' s always believed he didn't deserve to love and be loved. There was no doubt in my mind that he loved you when I came to that hospital. After you were hurt, Brian sat in that hospital for three days, a total wreck. I was a mess myself, but even in my panicked state, I could tell he would fall apart if you hadn't survived. When you started improving, Brian would come to see you, but only at night when he knew you were sleeping, and he made the nurses promise not to tell you or anyone else he was there. He didn't want anyone to know how much he loved you, because the Great Brian Kinney, Stud of Liberty Avenue, did not believe in love. Brian didn't want anyone to know that deep down inside, he really was the opposite of his persona - he feels, Justin. He loves you - almost too much. I have a feeling I know what happened to your relationship."

"What do you think happened, Mom?

"Brian continued to treat you the way he treated you before, didn't he?"

"Yeah - he was still tricking and clubbing, and I couldn't deal with it anymore. Why didn't you tell me Brian saw me at the hospital?"

"Neither Brian nor you were ready for a relationship. Brian had a lot of demons. You were too young, and had never experienced love or real life before. I knew the first time I let you move in with him that you were going to get hurt, but you were so determined, I couldn't stop you if I tried. After you were hurt, I wanted you safe, away from anything that contributed to your pain, including Brian, which was a mistake. The second and last time I took you to him, I knew that Brian was truly happy to see you, but he still wanted to be in control - in other words, keep up the tricking despite being in a relationship with you. He believed that you knowing he loved you would give you power over him, and for a control freak, that's frightening.

I truly thought you and Ethan would work, but there wasn't the light inside you with him that I saw when you and Brian were together. I knew you were going through the motions, just like I was shortly before your father and I divorced. You wanted to put up a good front and make me happy, happy that you'd found someone your age to love, even though you were clearly so unhappy. I knew you belonged to Brian, and I knew he belonged to you. You' ll both always belong to each other. It's not too late."

"Mom, what if he doesn't want me anymore? I lied to him. I broke our rules. I turned into a neglected wife that wanted more from him than he was ready to give, constantly doubting how he felt about me. You've just told me the most important thing about Brian you could ever have told me - why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I told you. Brian didn't want anybody to know. I came to visit you one night, and he was there, staring at you as you slept. I was surprised - for all I knew, he never came to see you, and I assumed he was the heartless bastard everyone said he was. I asked the night nurse how long he'd been there, and she told me everything, making me promise not to tell him I knew, nor to tell you. There was no doubt he loved you, but being the overprotective mother I was at the time, his love scared me. Once I got you home, I pushed him away. That had to be the worst thing I could have done, and I regretted it after your outburst. I hoped he would take care of you, and he did. Now he needs you to take care of him. He misses you, Justin. I know he does - Debbie said he's half a person now. He works, he tries to do the same things he did with his friends before you, but she knows better. She knows he's miserable without you."

Justin made a decision. Armed with the knowledge his mother gave him, he knew he had to try again. He knew part of the problem was that he demanded too much. He knew that if he wanted romance from Brian Kinney, he would have to offer it himself, and let Brian digest it. He knew he had to win back his love, even if it killed him. Smiling, he grabbed his wallet and keys, noticing he still had a key to the loft, and headed to the specialty store. He wasn't going to re-enact that picnic again, but he had a much better idea - one that Brian Kinney would appreciate in spite of himself.

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Brian knew Justin had to be the one who lit the candles and sprinkled rose petals everywhere. Pinching the bridge of his nose and looking around, Brian noticed more of the details he missed in his initial shock. A bottle of Dom Perignon sat in a chiller on the bedside table, with two empty flutes beside it. On the bed's platform sat a platter of chocolate-covered cherries and strawberries. Brian ran an impatient hand through his chestnut hair, and paused when he heard the shower stop. "Shit," he whispered, and stumbled down to the kitchen. He didn't want Justin to know he saw him.

Brian could hear Justin humming off-key as he toweled off and got ready. He looked at the breakfast bar, and saw containers from his favorite Thai restaurant sitting there, waiting for him. Brian's stomach rumbled, and his mouth watered. He missed lunch again, and the smell of the food proved irresistible. He opened a container and nibbled absently, murmuring in delight as the spices invaded his palette.

Brian could no longer hear Justin, but he could hear the rustling of the duvet. Brian smirked, only half-annoyed. He missed having the little shit around; especially when he thought of the naughty scenes they set up together during their brief affair. Grinning, Brian closed the container, walked back to the bed, and saw Justin spread out in the middle of it, feigning sleep. Brian chuckled quietly as he watched Justin struggle to relax enough to look convincingly asleep.

"Fancy meeting you here," Brian said with a laugh.

"WHAT?" Justin cried as he jackknifed upright, staring at Brian in shock. "When did you get home? How did you know I was here?"

"I got in about ten minutes ago. What's going on? I come home, my floor's covered in rose petals, you're naked in the shower - damn, I 'm sorry I didn 't take advantage of that - my favorite Thai food is sitting in the kitchen, and my bed looks like the honeymoon suite at a hotel. This is a signature Justin Taylor seduction scene," Brian said.

"I didn't think you'd be home so early."

"I cut my day short. Vance took off early. Forget all that - why are you here?"

"I think you know why."

"I don't. We've been separated, avoiding each other for a year, Justin - care to explain?"

"I finally came to my senses. I know why you pushed me away at the Rage party. I fucked up, Bri - I forgot my own rules. I forgot about knowing you better than you knew yourself. I can't explain it any more than my counselor can. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I wanted more from you than you were ready to give. I know that now, and you won't get rid of me so easily this time. I'm just going to wait until you're ready, but I'll do that here."

"What makes you think I'm even interested?" Brian asked. He wanted to make Justin sweat a little - his heart turned over from hearing those words, but he couldn't resist getting a little dig in here and there. No one, not even Lindsay or Deb, knew how much Justin's leaving hurt Brian. If he played his cards right, not even Justin would know until HE was ready to tell him.

"You haven't walked out of here yet," Justin said, his 'Sunshine' smile beaming.

"You think you can just come back to my loft after a year, decorate it like some scene out of a Zalman King movie, spread out naked on my duvet and I'll fall for it? You think I'll just strip and fuck you?"

"Yes." Justin broke out in a fit of giggles.

"What's so funny?"

"You're so full of shit, Brian. You want me back. I know you do. Remember - this isn't the Justin who walked out of Babylon with Ethan last year confused. This is your Justin. I'm on to you - remember? I know you still love me, even if you can't say it."

Brian just stared at him, tongue planted in his cheek, absorbing everything the blond said. He knew Justin was right - he did still love him. It was that love that forced him to let him go, but it was also that love that made him more miserable than ever once the boy was gone.

"I wondered what the hell happened to you last year," Brian said as he loosened his tie. He yanked his tie over his head, and tossed it on the floor, then shrugged out of his jacket. Justin got up to help.

"I'm taking a shower," Brian said harshly. Justin returned to his position on the bed, a hurt look on his face. He forgot how Brian could mask his true feelings behind words of rejection. Justin wasn't going to let Brian's comments push him away. He was back, and stronger than ever. He knew his man, and after his talk with his mother, he knew Brian was running scared again. Justin's next move would determine the course of the evening, and every evening thereafter.

"Diss me all you want, Bri - I'm not leaving," Justin said. Brian saw the spark of determination replace the hurt in the 20-year-old's eyes, and knew his baby was truly back. Justin lost that look in his eyes in the few weeks leading to their breakup. Leaning over his naked ex-lover, Brian planted a soft kiss on his lips, and said, "Too bad you already showered - I could have joined you." Justin beamed, and Brian had to blink quickly to fight back the tears of joy at seeing that "Sunshine" smile again.

Brian slowly unbuttoned his shirt, sliding his hands over every inch of exposed skin, and licked his lips. He smiled as he saw Justin's pupils dilate in response. Brian smiled at him intensely, promising endless torment throughout the evening. Justin smiled back, open and ready for Brian's assault.

Undoing the cuffs, Brian slid off his shirt, and began to play with his chest, focusing on his nipples. He pinched and massaged his nipples until they stood erect, ripe and pink as his lush, parted lips. "You want this, don't you," Brian asked throatily, smiling wider when he saw the intense look on Justin's face. He looked down, and saw Justin was sporting an erection.

Justin wanted Brian to hurry - it was taking him so long to get naked! Brian reached for the buckle on his belt, and Justin grabbed his wrists. "You're killing me, Brian - just take it all off," Justin moaned in frustration. Brian merely smiled, released himself from Justin's grip, and continued to torment Justin with glimpses of his flesh. Brian slipped off his boots and socks, and finished undressing.

Justin breathed a sigh of relief as he saw his ex-lover was finally naked. "Are you happy now?" Brian asked.

"No - come here," Justin said in the deepest, huskiest voice Brian had ever heard. When did Justin's voice get that deep, Brian wondered?

Brian grabbed the bottle of Dom and opened it, laughing as the cork flew across the room. He filled the two flutes, then sat on the edge of the bed beside Justin, handing him one of the flutes. "So, what are we celebrating with this lavish spread," Brian asked as he sipped his champagne.

"You can call it what you want, but I guess we can say we're celebrating me finally finding my brain," Justin said with a smile.

"Hear hear," Brian cheered as they clicked glasses, a little too hard. Some champagne spilled over Justin's thigh, and Brian leaned over to lick it off. "Brian," Justin sighed as he saw the pink tongue clean off the spilled liquid. Brian's tongue was a little ticklish there, and Justin started giggling.

"This could be fun," Brian said, and tipped his glass, dribbling champagne over Justin's chest and belly. Justin gasped from the cold liquid, then moaned as he felt Brian's tongue picking up every drop. Brian lapped up champagne from Justin's nipples, sipped it from his navel, and added a few bites here and there. Brian planned on leaving marks all over his former lover's creamy skin, so the world would know Justin belonged to him. "Brian," Justin moaned as Brian continued his descent, nibbling on the younger man's thighs, and sipping champagne from the flushed skin.

Brian reached over and grabbed a strawberry, and painted Justin's lips with the chocolate, teasing him until Justin took a bite of the fruit. Brian followed the trail of strawberry juice dribbling down Justin's chin with his tongue, ending with his lips, devouring the younger man's mouth.

They continued to feed each other the fruit, tasting the juices and chocolate on each other's skin, and drinking champagne. "This was supposed to be dessert," Justin said with a laugh.

"Fuck it - remember that saying about eating dessert first," Brian said with a sly smile. "We can always have dinner later. I'm more interested in tasting you." He punctuated his statement by flicking his tongue over Justin's nipple ring, then tugging on it with his teeth, eliciting a gasp from the blond.

"We've got all night," Brian said, kissing his way down to Justin's cock, and drawing it between his ruby-red lips. Justin was already on fire, and felt like he was going to explode. His body jerked in response when he felt Brian's mouth on his cock. "Shit, Brian, you trying to kill me?" Justin asked breathlessly. Letting Justin's turgid cock slip from his mouth, Brian said, "It's been too long, baby - we've got a year to make up for. I want to set every inch of you on fire, especially these inches." Brian drew Justin's cock into his mouth again. Brian pulled back, ran his tongue along the shaft like a lollipop, and then drew the tip between his lips again. Justin dug his fingers into Brian's thick chestnut hair, holding his head in place at his crotch. "Yeah, Brian - suck me off," he moaned, thrusting into Brian's mouth.

Justin's piston movements drove his cock into the back of Brian's mouth, and his cum spewed forth, shooting straight down Brian's throat. Brian let the juices slide down, pulled back, and lapped up the remaining liquid from Justin's softening cock.

"Damn," Justin sighed, his body still shaking from his orgasm. "You are trying to kill me!"

Brian just laughed, and kissed him, cuddling the blond in his arms until the trembling subsided. "That was the appetizer," Brian murmured. "Let's have dinner."

Brian and Justin donned their robes and padded to the kitchen. Justin heated up the cooling Thai food while Brian pulled out dishes and cutlery. Anyone who walked into the loft right now would think them the picture of a modern married couple. They pinched and tickled one another, joked and laughed together, played a little, and fed each other dinner, sometimes cleaning up spilled sauce with kisses. The play in the kitchen became more intense, and Justin found himself bent over the dinner table with Brian giving advanced rimming lessons with egg drop soup. Ready for another round, the two men raced back to the bedroom, tearing at each other's robes and humping away like beasts.

There were still a few strawberries and cherries left on the tray, and Justin used a strawberry to paint chocolate on Brian's nipples. Justin smiled as he saw those hazel eyes darken. With a flick of his tongue, Justin cleaned one nipple, and bit it. Brian hissed in response, his cock stiffening. Brian began to wonder where Justin learned his technique, and stopped himself from asking out loud. Justin learned everything he knew about pleasure from Brian himself! "Damn," Brian moaned as he felt teeth rake over his other nipple.

Still holding the strawberry, Justin dragged it along the center of Brian's chest, down to his pubes, and then licked away the chocolate. "Justin, if you don't suck me off right now, I'm going to kill you," Brian threatened as a shudder passed through him. The after play in the kitchen, and now Justin 's teasing, was too much. Justin looked down and saw Brian's cock standing erect, the shaft red and the leaking tip even redder. Chuckling, Justin crushed the strawberry in his mouth, slid down his lover's body, and drew the shaft between his lips.

Justin sucked slowly, drawing him in, then swirling his tongue on the upstroke, enjoying the taste of strawberry and Brian. He looked up, and saw Brian had his head back on the pillows, plump lips parted and eyes closed. Every moan that escaped his throat went straight to Justin's cock. He loved to hear Brian moan. What he really wanted to do was make Brian cry out and scream. Justin began to suck him deeply, and Brian rewarded him with louder moans and sighs. From what he saw - the flushed, sweaty skin, the way Brian gripped his head and the way Brian was trembling - and what he heard, Justin had a feeling he'd get his wish tonight. He began to stroke his own cock while sucking Brian.

Unable to take Justin's teasing anymore, Brian grasped Justin's head and thrust, piston-like, into the blond's mouth. His cry of release bounced off the loft walls and reverberated on the panels of the bedroom, threatening to shatter the glass. Justin swallowed the strawberry, and every drop of his man's semen, and shot off his own load in the process. Grabbing a towel, Justin cleaned up, and snuggled beside his lover, wrapping his arms around him. Brian planted a kiss in Justin's hair, and nuzzled him.

"Damn," Brian sighed, still breathing heavily. "Have we been that good in the past?"

"Oh, I can think of a moment or two."

Justin smiled broadly as he looked at Brian.

"God, I love that smile," Brian said, staring lovingly at Justin.

"How about the owner?"

"To quote Melanie from a couple years back, 'I never stopped."

"Neither did I. Let's start over."

"Kid, you're now trying to kill me,"

"No, silly, I mean the relationship."

"I don't know if I can - I can't go through that again."

"How about if I promise to never intentionally hurt you again?"

"You promise?"

"Promise."

"I think I can do that."

The lovers curled into one another and laid together in silence, content to be back where they belonged.

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