Lakhesis'

Truth in Song

Author's Note: Part of the From Dusk till Dawn Severus Snape/Harry Potter Fuh-Q-Fest

Challenge: The students decide to hold a karaoke contest.

^^^^^^^

"We can finally say something tomorrow."

"You assume I have some desire for that to happen. Get out. Don't bother returning."

"What do you mean out and don't bother returning? I graduate tomorrow."

"That's precisely why I said it, get out."

"No!"

"You… Will… Leave…"

"Just tell me why."

"Because I no longer desire your presence."

"I don't believe you."

"But then you've always believed only what you wanted."

"Why are you back to being such a git?"

"Only your immature nonsense has seen me as anything else."

"I don't believe this."

"Believe what you like, but leave."

"Tell me why you're doing this."

"…"

"Please. I love you."

"…"

"Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us."

"There was never an us. It is time you came to understand that."

"So I imagined all those nights in your bed?"

"Those were a mistake. A mistake that I am now rectifying."

"…"

"If you would be so kind as to leave now?"

"…"

"Am I to be exposed to further histrionics?"

"I never lied. I do love you. I'll leave, just like you've asked."

^^^^^^^

Harry was irritated with Hermione's cheerfulness. He'd been in a pissy mood all day and was even grumpier that no one was sparing a moment to ask him why. It was graduation day from Hogwarts, joy.

As he sat in mutinous silence, waiting for the ceremonies to end, his mind reviewed his days in this institution. There were happy memories, too many to count. There were depressing memories, also too many to count. It seemed that there was nothing in between for him in relation to this place.

After the ceremony, he was dragged to the formal luncheon where he watched Hermione and Ron hang over each other in a disgustingly sweet manner. Though Molly was shooting him looks of concern between her doting glances at her son and soon to be daughter-in-law, he avoided her eyes and focused on pushing his food around.

It was early evening when he finally slunk into the graduates and professors only party. Hermione, as Head Girl, was a main force behind the planning of the event. Harry had done what he could to avoid her plans, but had heard way too much for his comfort about a karaoke contest. When asked, he'd flatly refused to perform. It didn't spare him from having to attend.

Truth was he could either attend and hide in the darkened room or slink off to sulk in peace. Inspiration and Gryffindor bravery, as well as a heavy dose of pure unflinching insanity, brought him to the doors, adding his name at the last minute to the list of performers.

He was there just in time for the opening act. The Headmaster, who would be retiring from his position with this end of term, was taking the stage. Harry was confused for a moment about the image constructs the old man conjured. What precisely were a frog, pig, and something that looked like a pencil-thin lab assistant doing on stage with Albus?

Taking his seat, he didn't recognize the strains of music as they began, but appreciated the sentiment behind the Headmaster's song. He could appreciate it, even if it did not currently suit his mood.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows

and what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,

and rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it.

I know they're wrong, wait and see.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard

and answered when wished on the morning star?

Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.

Look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing

and what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?

I've heard them calling my name.

Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.

The voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it.

It's something that I'm supposed to be.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Shaking his head, because he'd learned that Dumbledore was certainly a dreamer, he half-dozed through a couple of insipid attempts to sway the audience. He thought the singers were a Ravenclaw, then a Hufflepuff, and then a Slytherin who managed to avoid death in the final battles. Of course, thoughts of the final battles reminded him that despite defeating his foe, he didn't get his happy ending. Was it selfish to wonder why, of everyone, he didn't?

His attention was drawn back to the stage when an unfamiliar beat began. Ginny Weasley strutted onstage in an outfit that would have scandalized her mother and definitely showed more skin than he thought she'd possessed. Fighting back the confusion of why exactly a sixth year was performing in a graduation contest, he simply gaped when she began to sing.

Baby, can't you see

I'm calling

A guy like you

Should wear a warning

It's dangerous

I'm fallin'

There's no escape

I can't hide

I need a hit

Baby, give me it

You're dangerous

I'm lovin' it

Too high

Can't come down

Losing my head

Spinning 'round and 'round

Do you feel me now

With a taste of your lips

I'm on a ride

You're toxic

I'm slipping under

With a taste of poison paradise

I'm addicted to you

Don't you know that you're toxic

And I love what you do

Don't you know that you're toxic

It's getting late

To give you up

I took a sip

From my devil cup

Slowly

It's taking over me

Too high

Can't come down

It's in the air

And it's all around

Can you feel me now

With a taste of your lips

I'm on a ride

You're toxic

I'm slipping under

With a taste of poison paradise

I'm addicted to you

Don't you know that you're toxic

And I love what you do

Don't you know that you're toxic

With a tast of your lips

I'm on a ride

You're toxic

I'm slipping under

With a taste of poison paradise

I'm addicted to you

Don't you know that you're toxic

Intoxicate me now

With your lovin' now

I think I'm ready now

Intoxicate me now

With your lovin' now

I'm ready now

In the final stanzas, when she'd crept off the stage and began gyrating in Malfoy's lap, Harry resisted the urge to gag. If he'd known that revelations of his being gay would drive the youngest Weasley to that git, he might have considered pretending. He still didn't share the opinion of the Order that Malfoy had switched sides for love.

Luckily, the assault on his sense ended soon enough. Ignoring that Malfoy and Ginny had now left the room, to do Merlin knows he didn't want to think about, he sighed at Pansy Parkinson taking the stage. This was a girl who, as a Muggle would say, played Switzerland in the final battles. And, he considered for a moment, why had they let her get away with it? But, no, he was a child to the Order and to the Ministry. A child they didn't mind laying their biggest problem on, but a child in their eyes always.

I don't know how to love him,

What to do, how to move him.

I've been changed, yes, really changed.

In these past few days when I've seen myself

I seem like someone else.

I don't know how to take this

I don't see why he moves me.

He's a man, he's just a man.

And I've had so many men before

In very many ways:

He's just one more

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout?

Should I speak of love - let my feelings out?

I never thought I'd come to this - what's it all about?

Don't you think it's rather funny

I should be in this position?

I'm the one who's always been

So calm, so cool, no lover's fool

Running every show

He scares me so.

I never thought I'd come to this - what's it all about

Yet, if he said he loved me

I'd be lost, I'd be frightened.

I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.

I'd turn my head, I'd back away,

I wouldn't want to know -

He scares me so.

I want him so.

I love him so.

Harry refused to consider who Pansy's personal problems were focused on. Some creepy part of his brain wanted to make suggestions, but he rationalized that she could deal with the trouble. It may have been selfish, but if he couldn't have a happy ending, he didn't care if anyone else got one.

It was with a nod of satisfaction that he'd seen Hermione had scheduled herself originally to end the show. She began to sing, something in Italian, that nifty spell-work provided the lyrics to as she went. It was surprising, he didn't know that Hermione was familiar with opera. Harry only noticed that she said it was by Handel, and something called 'Quando invita la donna l'amante' before he tuned it out. Thankfully, it was short, or his nerve may have broken.

For him, this was time to accept that he wasn't going to back out. Satisfyingly, he noted that Dumbledore had forced attendance by the Professors…. All the professors.

Hermione took her bow and stepped forward, "We want to thank you all for attending this evening. You may register your votes as you leave, the winner will be owled their prize."

Harry stood, immediately attracting attention. "Excuse me?"

The Head Girl looked surprised, but immediately stepped to the side of the stage. "Oh, Harry. Did you want to?" She tapered off, gesturing at the stage. He nodded, silent with the last vestiges of a probably wise fear. With a large smile, she beckoned him up and he came to the front of the room.

"It seems we have an extra performance."

There was a very Slytherin smirk on his face as he took the stage. With wand ready, he pulled a silver and red plastic disc from his pocket. Tossing the disc in the air, a muttered spell had it spinning as it hung in mid-air. The music began softly, as he knew it would. It was deceptively soft. Only he knew that the spell was cued to increase volume as he went.

He began to sing, losing himself in the truth of what he felt.

Graffiti decorations

Under a sky of dust

A constant wave of tension

On top of broken trust

The lessons that you taught me

I learn were never true

Now I find myself in question

(They point the finger at me again)

Guilty by association

(You point the finger at me again)

It was an understatement to say that he had everyone's attention. Lost in the music, he didn't see their eyes as he came close to screaming the chorus.

I wanna run away

Never say goodbye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind

Tears had begun to track down his face as he sang. It was a cathartic experience, this public revelation that didn't really reveal.

Paper bags and angry voices

Under a sky of dust

Another wave of tension

Has more than filled me up

All my talk of taking action

These words were never true

Now I find myself in question

(They point the finger at me again)

Guilty by association

(You point the finger at me again)

He couldn't see the questioning looks of the professors. He couldn't hear the whispers of doubt from his fellow graduates.

I wanna run away

Never say goodbye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind

His voice broke, and though the music continued to pound in the room, Harry could not continue. Finally, he looked up at the disc, shaking his head. Over the rock beat, very few could hear his muttered, "Reducto," but they all noticed when shards of plastic showered the audience.

Harry stood in the middle of the stage, looking lost and alone. His fellow graduates stared at him, confused. Even his best friends didn't know what had caused his mood, though Ron seemed to be catching on. His declaration of, "I'm going to sodding well kill him" broke the silence. Harry knew the sentiment wasn't aimed at him and his smile of appreciation for a dedicated friend barely showed in the twitching of his lips.

From the back of the room, a sharp voice brought the tension to an immediate depth and intensity previously unseen.

"Mr. Potter."

Harry looked out, but didn't need eyes to recognize the speaker. He raised both hands, palms facing himself, and saluted his Potions professor with identical middle fingers. All in silence, he dropped his arms and strode from the room. Not a single member present moved to stop his progress.

^^^^^^^

A week passed before Harry lowered his personal wards around the Ancient and Noble House of Black for any former Order member to enter.

Albus found him in the study, staring into space. The fire was out, the room chilly. Harry didn't acknowledge the entrance of the man who'd been his Headmaster and mentor for so long. The older man settled himself into a chair, lighting the fire and nodding to the hesitant house-elf to bring tea.

"Harry… Will you speak with me?"

The green eyes that met his gaze were empty. When he didn't receive a response, Dumbledore prodded again.

"What happened?"

"Have you asked Snape?"

The voice was sharp and accusing. The former Headmaster closed his eyes at the bare pain present in that short sentence. But, he was here for a

purpose.

"Severus has refused to speak with me, stating that I am no longer his employer since I have retired and he is no longer required to confess his sins."

"Bastard."

"Now, Harry."

But Harry interrupted his reply. "No! He is a sodding bastard! He may have been a spy, but he could have…" His voice broke again, betraying him.

The Headmaster stood, moving quickly across the room. Only his close proximity allowed him to hear Harry's additional words through the younger man's sobs.

"He fucking broke my heart… And I still love him…."

Albus did the only thing he could. He held Harry while the young wizard cried out his pain.

^^^^^^^

Nearly a week later, Harry stood before his kitchen table and tried to summon the will to eat something of what Dobby had prepared for him. It was his daily trial and he knew that it was unhealthy. Absently, he wondered what anyone had expected. But, then again, he'd never shared the story of his final battle with Voldemort. He hadn't told the Order that the deathblow occurred when the Dark Lord began to torture their spy through his Dark Mark. When he'd needed his Occlumency to protect him, it had failed and revealed his yearlong love affair to the Great Snake Git himself.

The telltale sound of the door opening came from behind him, but Harry didn't turn. When he caught the scent of herb and spice, tinted by the hint of dead things, he only closed his eyes at the fresh wave of pain. He refused to try and speak, knowing that his voice would only fail him again.

"Harry?"

Hearing his name in that voice which had brought him to both agony and ecstasy caused him to hunch, clutching the table with a biting grip.

"Please speak with me."

"No."

It was a ragged edge of a word, grunted out between clenched teeth. He didn't hear the silent steps that brought the other man closer and flinched at the soft touch against his back.

"I never meant to hurt you in this way."

It was a breaking point, one that caused him to push himself off the table and turn. Flinging off the hand against his back, Harry confronted his former lover.

"What did you think would happen when you tossed me out? That I'd be pleased to be rid of you? That you were some poor memory of my school days that I'd leave behind without another thought?"

He watched in horror as the oft-caressed face didn't move. His eyes widened slightly at the resignation he saw in the dark eyes.

"You did… You bastard."

Harry closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. The rage faded from him as quickly as it arrived and he turned to the door of the kitchen.

"I can't believe you would think that of me and still take me to your bed."

When he reached the kitchen door, he stopped. To the accusing wood, he uttered his last words.

"Get out."

There was no response from behind him and Harry left the room with a heavy heart. He'd worked, truly worked, to make their relationship successful. He'd thought that Severus had worked as well, but saw it all now revealed as the easy path to sexual gratification. Idly, as he paced up the steps towards his bedroom, he wondered if the other man had ever meant any of the tender things he'd said so often mid-coitus.

He hadn't heard the door open and he hadn't heard Severus step into the hall, but when his former lover spoke, he listened.

"How the hell did we wind up like this? Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and try to turn the tables? Now the story's played out like this, just like a paperback novel. Let's rewrite an ending that fits instead of a Hollywood horror."

Harry froze on the stairs, and turned slowly to see Snape standing at the bottom staring intently at him. The Gryffindor spoke with the faintest edge of incredulity.

"You hate my 'damned Muggle music.'"

"I've rather become accustomed to many things I used to despise."

Both men held their positions, unsure with each other in way they hadn't been for months.

"Severus… What do you want?"

The Potions Master paced up the steps with easy movements that snapped his robes around his ankles. Harry was able to appreciate the charisma of the movement, even while incredibly hesitant with the situation. As the taller man stopped on the step below Harry on the landing, their eyes were level as they met. Staring, each was easily able to read the emotion and hesitation present in the other.

"Harry." Snape paused, uncharacteristically tongue-tied for such a typically glib if sharp-edged man. He reached into his robes, pulled from them a small velvet bag.

"When you first approached me at the start of your seventh year, I was amazed. I did not possibly see how your declarations towards me could be anything other than a cruel prank or a drunken mistake."

He held up a hand, forestalling the comment with the slightest touch of tapered fingers on the younger man's lips.

"Knowing that you desired me was the most precious gift I could be given. I started carrying this the day after we made love for the first time."

Removing his hand, he took Harry's hand from the banister and tilted it palm up. With his other hand that had been clutching the bag, he emptied the contents into the uplifted palm. What tumbled out was a simple and heavy man's ring in obviously aged silver. Harry could feel the enchantments laid upon its precious metal. Turning his hand slightly, he tilted the ring to the light and saw the Snape family crest carved in relief.

"It was my grandfather's. Worn by generations of Snape men, my father never used it as it would act only for love and ritual. I carried it in hope and it carried me through those dark days when I wondered if you would survive your own destiny. It was only as your graduation approached that I made a decision. You have your entire life in front of you. I cannot ask you to waste it on me."

Harry could feel the tears start to track down his face as he watched the man he loved. Severus' eyes hadn't moved from his hand and he knew, in that instinctive manner of lovers, that it was the only way the other man could retain his composure.

"I had hoped that if I could hurt you, you would leave without guilt. I am willing to let you go so that you might be happy. Just know that, no matter where you are or find your happiness, I will always care for you."

Potion-stained fingers closed his hand around the ring and Severus turned back towards the bottom of the stairs. He had actually made it about halfway down before Harry could choke out a single word through his clogged throat.

"Severus!"

It was a gasping half-cry, wrenched as it was mid-sob. The professor stilled, but did not turn back to his love.

"What if I want my happiness with you?"

Watching black-clad shoulders hunch in on themselves, he waited for some indication. Finally, as if drawn from the very depths of the man's soul, that beloved voice grated out a harsh answer.

"For how long?"

Harry could only smile down at the ridiculous man he adored, even if that man would not yet meet his eyes. "To death and beyond."

The traditional words echoed on the stairs and it seemed as if some cosmic sigh suddenly relieved the tense pressure. Cautiously, Snape turned back again to face him.

"You should be more careful with your words."

Perpetually messy, raven hair shook in disagreement. "I know what I said. I would have you to death and beyond. I would bind you to me, me to you."

This time the stride up the stairs was not measured and sleek, but darting, heavy steps that ate the distance. Only when he faced the younger man once again up close, could Severus meet wide emerald eyes with his narrowed onyx.

"Do you have any idea what you are saying?"

Harry's voice was measured and even, trying to retain an adult bearing on the situation despite his fit of pique at graduation. "Hermione is not the only one who can research. I may be a half-blood and I may have been raised like a Muggle, but I know what those words mean to a pure-blood wizard."

It was with an odd self-doubt that he asked, "Would you have me?"

Severus leaned into the younger man, plucking the quickly warming ring from the tight grip. "There can be no hesitation in this." Stepping up onto the landing, he tilted his head slightly to look down into a verdant gaze quickly raised to meet his own.

"I feel none."

The Potions Master clutched at the family heirloom. "It did not work for my parents, Harry. I do not know if it will work for us."

Harry chuckled before replying. "You've told me about your parents, Severus. I have no doubt that their relationship was nothing like ours is or ever will be."

Holding out his hand, the professor offered the warmed jewelry back to the man he loved. As Harry reached for it, they could both feel the magic pulsing between their palms. Harry's face lit with the purest joy and the barest edges of a grin began to tease at Snape's mouth.

"Don't touch it, not yet."

Harry's hand froze at the unexpected command and Severus closed his fingers as he took another step closer to the younger man. Their bodies were in tantalizing proximity, memory bringing a certain heat to the situation along with the heady understanding that their days of twisted sheets and panting release were by no means over.

"The vows would have to be consummated."

Emerald darkened to olive in lust, as Severus remembered so fondly. He dipped his head, ghosting his next words directly into his lover, his promised, and soon to be his mate's, ear.

"We would be in need of a bedroom. I will not take you on the bare wood of the landing. No matter how much you enjoyed my dungeons."

He chuckled as Harry exhaled heavily and dragged his senses away from the teasing gesture. He caught the older man by the wrist and quickly led them both down the hall into the master suite. Although it was Sirius' house, his godfather had never been comfortable enough in his family home to make this room his own. Harry had no qualms about bringing Snape into it, knowing that his family would have been pleased to see him happy once past the initial reactions. And he counted himself lucky in a way that they were not here to protest, for there would have been loud and lengthy initial protests. It was a mark of strength that he could move past that thought and devote himself to the future.

Harry turned to his lover, expectant. Severus stepped up to him, running a gentle touch along his temple, cheek, and jaw.

"This could not be undone once started. Are you certain?"

"My mind has always been an open book to you. Why don't you tell me?"

Not being able to refuse such a tempting invitation, Severus closed what little distance was between the two of them. He dropped the ring back into his pocket for a moment, and took his beloved's face between two hands. Harry's eyes were wide windows into his soul as he was pierced with a hypnotizing look. Barely a moment passed before Snape blinked and groaned out, "Harry."

They met in a kiss both gentle and fierce, an affirmation that this trial had only made them stronger and more sure. In this test, they had both faced their greatest fear connected to commitment and walked out stronger if not unscathed. The wounds that remained would heal together, rather than fester in silence.

Harry whimpered, begging without words for more. Severus, as impatient as his younger lover, drew the silver ring from his pocket for the final time. He knew, instinctively and with a thrumming satisfaction, that it would now grace a hand until their dying days. Lifting his lovers unstained, if slightly blunter, left hand, he kissed the palm with slow movements. His lips teased and the path of bare moisture brought Harry to move against him in impatience.

As he held the ring to the tip of his love's ring finger, he found his strength to take this final step in the other man's eyes. Normally smooth voice lowered by passion, they stared deep into each other's souls as Severus spoke.

"To death and beyond. I am yours and you are mine."

He slid the heavy piece to the base of the finger in time with his words and the magic pulsed instantly. Heating to near painful intensity, Harry took his courage from his love and held still. With a flash and final flex, the magic resettled as the ring resized itself to the Gryffindor's hand. Severus graced Harry with his first true, unrestrained, smile as he felt the echoing pulse on his own left hand. The magic had fulfilled its purpose, binding them with an oath deeper than any other and a particularly possessive pureblood tradition.

Harry needed to hear it confirmed. "Did it…?" He couldn't bring himself to complete the phrase, fearing somehow to endanger this fledgling life.

Severus answered by raising his own left hand and grasping Harry's. As the identical rings brushed, they each felt the deep shock of lust and devotion.

"I imagine that some Ministry employee is going to find themselves in a faint tomorrow morning in the Hall of Records."

The brilliant smile of the Man Who Was Once the Boy Who Lived and Saved Us All was the last rational sight seen by the Potions Master before he fell to the impulse of the ritual. Harry would have necessarily shared the need, the only reality that spared Severus from concerning himself with his own ferocity. They fell on each other with the desperation of men deprived of life sustaining contact for far too long.

Clothes were quickly discarded and forgotten, vanished or destroyed. Teasing touches were quick forays into much charted and adored territory. They found themselves moving with one mind towards completion. And when they reached that point a brilliant light exploded from them, sealing the promise.

^^^^^^^

Languishing in the arms of his lover, Harry smirked as he mouthed at the pale chest. "Consummated was rather an understatement, even for you."

A slight huff of agreement that didn't budge him from his pillow was all the answer Harry received. When his explorations became slightly more aggressive and he nibbled at a quickly pebbled nipple, Severus hissed in surprise.

"Stop that, brat."

Harry chuckled, but lay still once more. "You're not the only one who's going to feel it in the morning. I never thought I'd be pleased you had the sense to move us to a bed."

"The magic prevents the union from being annulled by forcing immediate completion." A note of concern not often heard in the voice was dominant as Severus continued; "I did not hurt you?"

The younger man sighed, moving his hand to brush rings with his beloved. The connection bared a pulse of his emotion to the both of them: satisfaction, completion, and contentment. It was all the answer they needed. Together, they fell into much deserved rest.

Finis

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