Thanks to Susan for the pic.

Brian slid open the heavy door with an equally heavy sigh. It had been a bitch of a day and he wanted nothing more than to relax with a shot of Beam and mind-numbing sex - and not necessarily in that order.

"Hey," Justin greeted him, looking up in surprise from the computer. "You're home early."

Brian raised an eyebrow. "I don't know how they do things where you come from, Sunshine, but here on planet earth, getting home at 8:30 instead of 6 is late, not early."

"Is it that late?" Justin asked, frowning at the time displayed in the corner of the screen. "Shit. I guess I lost track of time." He got up and moved toward the kitchen, planting a quick kiss on his irritable lover's lips as he passed. "Take-out OK?"

Brian dropped his briefcase on the counter and headed for the bedroom, already loosening his tie. "As long as I don't have to rework it, sign off on it, fire it or sell it, I don't give a fuck."

Justin smirked. "Bad day at the office, dear?" he queried in imitation of the falsetto Brian occasionally used.

"Don't order from Guido's," Brian called out from the bedroom as he changed into jeans and t-shirt. "I had fucking heartburn for a week last time."

Justin settled on Brian's favourite Thai place and quickly called in the order. He was ending the call as Brian returned from the bedroom and headed for the bar cart. "40 minutes," he informed the other man as he walked up behind him and slid his arms around the trim waist. "Enough time to work off some of that tension before we eat."

Brian turned and handed him a glass of the amber liquid, clinking his own glass with it before downing it in two swallows. Justin took a sip of his and placed the glass on the cart before reaching up to capture his lover's lips in a deep kiss. Brian felt some of the tension begin to ebb as he pulled the younger man close and returned the kiss in kind.

"Mmmm," Justin murmured when they came up for air. "Brian and Beam, my favourite combination."

Brian smirked, running his hands down Justin's back to grasp the denim-clad ass. "I believe you mentioned working off some tension."

Justin smiled and kissed him again as his hands deftly worked the button-fly open. Dropping gracefully to his knees, he inhaled his lover's scent deeply before taking the newly freed cock into his mouth.

Brian's head rolled back as his hands found purchase in the blond hair. He'd had his share of blowjobs…hell, he'd had fifty men's share, if he wanted to be truthful… but nobody held a candle to the man currently on his knees before him. Part of it was familiarity, he reasoned. No one else had ever been granted a second chance, let alone enough practice to learn his triggers the way Justin had. Of course, that hadn't been true in the beginning, when Justin was still inexperienced and unsure of himself, but even then, he'd impressed Brian with his natural talent for giving head. That talent was being proven once again as Brian found himself becoming increasingly incapable of coherent thought, giving himself over to the waves of pleasure coursing through him courtesy of Justin's ministrations.

"Oh, fuck," he moaned as the blond head began to bob faster on his throbbing dick. Rather than try to hold out, he went with the sensations, marveling at the speed at which Justin could get him off. His hands tightened in his lover's hair and he released a long, guttural groan as he shot down the willing throat.

Justin milked him dry and gently lapped the remaining cum from the head before slowly getting to his feet and once again finding Brian's lips. Brian crushed the lithe body to him, his tongue snaking out to capture his own essence in the younger man's mouth.

"Great appetizer," Justin said with a grin when the kiss finally ended.

"Ready for the main course?" Brian asked seductively.

In response, Justin started moving them toward the bedroom, two pairs of hands tearing at clothes, two sets of lips seeking out each other.

"Want you," Justin breathed as they reached the bed, both of them already semi-nude. "Hard and fast."

The words had the desired effect and Brian's hardening cock twitched as he pushed the smaller man back on the bed. Justin quickly kicked off his shoes allowing Brian to remove his jeans and socks in one fluid motion. Brian lowered his own jeans, his eyes never leaving the pale form spread out before him. Grabbing a condom and tube of lube from the nightstand, he lowered himself unto the prone figure and kissed him hard. "Roll over," he whispered once he'd finally released the panting man's lips.

Justin quickly complied, moving further onto the bed as he rolled onto his stomach. He clutched a pillow to his chest and spread his legs in invitation. "Hurry, Brian," he whispered hoarsely.

Brian chuckled as he opened the tube and lubed his fingers. "Something got you all hot and bothered, Sunshine?"

Justin closed his eyes in ecstasy as he felt the first finger slide in. "Yeah," he gasped, "you… always you."

Brian smirked and added another finger, carefully stretching his lover's eager hole in preparation for the hard, fast ride he'd requested. When he was satisfied that the other man was ready, he slapped one fleshy ass cheek. "On your knees," he said gruffly.

Justin hurried to comply, eagerly anticipating what was to come.

Taking up position behind his lover, Brian took a moment to caress the twin mounds and plant a soft kiss on one shoulder blade. "Ready?" he asked, his hot breath causing Justin to shiver with desire.

"Fuck me," Justin whispered in response.

Needing no further encouragement, Brian quickly sheathed his cock and lubed it before placing the blunt tip at the twitching entrance. Grasping Justin's hips, he pressed in, not too fast to really hurt, but without giving the other man a chance to adjust until he was fully imbedded.

"Fuck," Justin groaned as he was filled. He pushed back, signaling to Brian that he was ready and Brian took the familiar cue without hesitation. Pulling out until only the head remained inside, he paused briefly before pushing back with one long, hard thrust.

"Yessss," Justin hissed, matching his rhythm to meet every deep stroke. Brian quickened the pace, riding him unmercifully until he was a quivering mass of need. "More," he gasped.

Brian kept one hand on the slim hip and reached up to grab Justin's shoulder with the other, pulling Justin to him as he plowed into the tight channel. "Christ," he hissed through clenched teeth. "How are you… still so fucking … tight?"

Justin groaned, his senses on overload. "Span… dex… supplements," he managed to get out between thrusts.

Brian couldn't help the short laugh that escaped at the words. Angling his hips, he continued to dive deep into his lover's body, unerringly hitting his prostate with each stroke.

"God!" Justin cried out as the added sensations overwhelmed him. As soon as Brian's hand snaked beneath him to grab his leaking cock, he knew it was all over. Calling out Brian's name, he erupted in the other man's hand, his body wracked with wave after wave of euphoric pleasure

Brian could only groan as Justin's ass clenched his cock in the throes of orgasm. After two more hard thrusts, he joined his lover in flying over the edge.

He took a moment to allow his heart rate to slow somewhat before withdrawing and collapsing beside the younger man. "Fuck," he breathed.

"Yeah," Justin agreed with a satisfied sigh.

They both laid there for a few minutes before Brian turned to face him. "Spandex supplements, huh?"

Justin grinned. "I guess that's it. The mystery is gone."

Brian chuckled and slapped one pale ass cheek as he rolled over his lover and out of ed. "Come on. We need to shower before the food gets here."

********

By the time the delivery man arrived, they were showered and dressed, Brian in the same t-shirt and jeans he'd been wearing and Justin in comfortable, grey sweats. After dishing out the food, they took the plates to the table and began to eat while engaging in casual conversation.

"Debbie called this afternoon," Justin said, trying to make it sound like an offhand comment. What he failed to consider was the fact that they'd been together long enough that Brian was able to distinguish forced nonchalance from genuine.

"Let me guess," Brian drawled. "She's just now realized she can't possibly live another day without your recipe for Crème Brule."

A short chuckle escaped the blond. "Alas, I don't have a recipe for Crème Brule." With that, he turned his attention to the meal and they ate in silence for a few minutes.

Brian put all thoughts of Deb and her phone call out of his mind. It was either something that didn't concern Brian, in which case he didn't care, or it was something Justin didn't want to mention, in which case he was probably better off not knowing. "You picked up my suit, right?" he asked, changing the subject.

Silence from the other side of the table had him looking up into a sheepish expression. "Fuck," he breathed, shaking his head.

"Sorry, I kinda got wrapped up in something and … forgot," Justin said.

"I was going to send Cynthia, but you specifically said you'd do it," Brian pointed out irritably. "No sense in sending her out when I'm going to be in the neighbourhood anyway," he mimicked Justin's voice. "What the fuck am I supposed to wear for my meeting tomorrow?"

Justin's eyes narrowed slightly. "I don't know. Maybe one of the hundred others in your closet?"

Brian's jaw clenched. He did have other suits - many, many others - but that wasn't the point. Justin had said he'd pick it up and Brian had trusted in that. He frowned slightly as he realized just how much he'd come to rely on the other man to handle some of the more mundane aspects of his life. "That's not the point," he said shortly. "If I'd known you weren't going to do it, I would have done it myself."

"You would have sent Cynthia, you mean."

"At least then I'd have it for my meeting."

"Only because you pay her to take your shit."

"Or because I can count on her to do a simple task."

The implication that Brian couldn't count on him cut deep. "I'm not your fucking wife, Brian. I said I'd pick it up and I intended to, but I got busy with something else and time just got away from me."

"And just what was it that was so important you couldn't keep your word?" Brian knew he was being an asshole, but he'd really wanted his favourite Armani for his meeting with Brown.

Justin looked down at his plate. "Debbie needed me to make a database," he mumbled.

Brian cocked a brow. "Excuse me? I don't think I heard you right. What the fuck does Debbie know about databases?"

"Nothing. That's why she called me."

Brian closed his eyes and tried to rein in his growing anger. Justin was trying hard not to tell him something and was treading on his last nerve in the process. "Justin…" he said, his voice carrying a strong undertone of warning.

Justin sighed. "She wants to send out letters to everyone who supported the campaign." He paused a moment, allowing the last word to sink in. "Senator Baxter told her the Bill is going to go through. Gay marriage will more than likely be legal in PA within the year."

Brian's eyes widened in something akin to panic, but only for a second before the cool façade slipped back into its rightful place on his features. All thoughts of Armani were gone as he considered the ramifications of that news. After a moment, he managed a wry smile. "That should make Mikey and the professor happy."

Justin almost breathed an audible sigh of relief. He knew how Brian felt about marriage, gay marriage in particular, and was worried that the news would send him into an even worse mood for the rest of the night, if not the century. "Yeah," he smiled. "Carl too, I'll bet. Once Michael and Ben can get married, Deb will agree to marry him."

Brian barked a short laugh. "You say that like it's a good thing. I thought you liked Carl."

Justin chuckled. "I do, and I love Deb. I want them to be happy and this is what they've been waiting for."

"Yeah, well," Brian murmured, picking up his plate and carrying it to the kitchen. "I guess some people just don't know any better."

Justin turned in his chair to track his lover's movements. "Maybe some people just know what they want and will do whatever it takes to get it."

Brian laughed and shook his head as he turned on the faucet. "If that's what they want, that's their problem."

Justin was quiet for a moment, watching as Brian rinsed the plate and put it in the dishwasher. "I think it's nice," he finally said. "By this time next year, we might have two weddings in the family."

"By this time next year, half of gay fucking Pittsburgh will be clamouring to get to the altar," Brian amended with a distasteful scowl. "Stupid fucks."

Justin frowned slightly. "Just because you don't believe in marriage doesn't mean anyone who does is stupid," he pointed out.

Brian turned to face him, leaning back against the counter. "Anyone who willingly puts themselves in that situation is a fucking moron," he stated with finality. Seeing the flash of hurt in Justin's eyes, he smirked. "What? You have visions of walking down the aisle, Sunshine? If that's what you're waiting for, you're wasting your time here."

Justin got to his feet, his eyes blazing with a combination of hurt and anger. "Don't do this, Brian," he said, his voice shaking slightly.

"Do what?" Brian demanded with a cynical laugh. "Shatter your dreams of matching Vera Wangs?"

"Stop with the fucking Vera Wangs, already," Justin shot back. "Marriage isn't about that and you know it."

"Oh, I do, do I?" Brian sneered. "And just what shining examples of marriage do I have to give me that insight? Mel and Linds? My parents? Yours?"

Justin shrugged slightly. "They don't always work out," he said needlessly.

"Then why bother?"

Justin was silent for a minute. "I honestly don't think anyone can really promise forever," he finally said thoughtfully. "To me, marriage indicates a willingness to try. An ability to commit to another person for however long it lasts." He raised his eyes to meet Brian's. "It's about admitting you want to be together for life, even knowing that it doesn't always work out that way."

Brian laughed bitterly. "They should include that in the vows. Till death do us part or until something better comes along, whichever comes first."

Justin didn't comment on that directly. "What about Michael and Ben?" he finally replied. "They're happy. Even you can see that."

"And you think that sham of a wedding in fucking Toronto is the cause?" Brian retorted. "I thought you were smarter than that, Mr. 1500."

"It's not the fucking wedding," Justin argued. "It's knowing they belong together. It's…" Justin's voice cracked and he had to swallow the emotions trying to erupt. "It's knowing you mean enough to someone to make that kind of commitment."

Brian laughed outright at that. "Yeah, right. Until they're tempted by greener pastures or finally figure out they're stuck in a fucking rut for the next 50 years. You call that commitment? Is that what you want?"

Justin shook his head in angry frustration, crossing his arms and lowering his eyes.

Brian took a step closer. "Answer me," he demanded. "Is that what you want?"

Justin's eyes shot up to meet Brian's. "No," he answered. "What I want is to know that I make a difference, that I'm enough."

"You're here, aren't you?" Brian barked.

"For how long?" Justin challenged. "Until the next time you throw me out?"

"Or until the next time you meet someone who tells you what you want to hear," Brian countered. He saw the pain that briefly flashed through the younger man's eyes and almost regretted the words - almost.

"I made a mistake," Justin said in a low voice. "One I'll apparently never hear the end of and one I'll never make again." He held Brian's gaze silently for a moment. "Can you say the same? Can you stand there and tell me you won't throw me out the next time something comes up that you can't deal with?"

Brian hated that he couldn't deny it and that only made him angrier. "If I was going to throw you out, do you think a fucking marriage certificate would stop me?"

Justin realized he didn't even need to think about that one. "No," he finally said in a dull voice. "No, I don't."

Brian watched as the younger man grabbed his jacket off the back of the sofa and a brief flicker of alarm temporarily interrupted his anger. "So now you're going to save me the trouble, is that it? As usual, you don't hear what you want so you leave."

Justin shot him an angry glare, then sighed and shook his head. He really didn't want to fight about this. He especially didn't want to leave Brian alone with his current thoughts, not knowing what kind of 'message' he might return to. Walking toward his lover, he managed a small smile. "I'm not leaving," he said evenly. "I'm happy where I am. I know how you feel about marriage and I'm fine with that. I don't need Vera Wangs or whateverthefuck to know what we have." He reached up and planted a sweet kiss on Brian's lips. "I told you I know what I can expect and I meant it. I don't need anything more than that."

For whatever reason, those words took Brian totally by surprise. Justin's eyes told him he meant every word. He didn't expect it. He didn't need it.

But… did he want it?

As though reading his thoughts, Justin smiled. "Remember when you first asked me to move in?" he asked. "I asked if you were proposing and you said you wouldn't add to the glut."

Brian smirked, reminded of his response.

"Well, the glut is only going to be worse once it's legal," Justin continued. "We've never done things the way everyone else has. Shit, we could be the poster boys for non-definition; I see no reason to change that now. If I didn't expect it before it was the norm, I sure as Hell wouldn't expect it now."

There it was again. Justin didn't expect it. What exactly did he expect from Brian? Anything? Anything at all?

"So what do you expect?" he asked, unsure whether he wanted to hear the answer.

Justin smiled wickedly. "I expect you to fuck me into the mattress," he replied with a quick kiss. "But first I have to run this database over to Deb."

Brian nodded in distraction, his mind reeling. "Keys are on the counter," he offered.

Justin looked at him in surprise and then smiled. "Thanks. I won't be long." He kissed Brian again, this time a little longer, a little deeper. When he pulled away, he whispered in a breathy voice. "I promise."

Brian's lips twitched but he didn't reply. He watched while Justin grabbed the CD from the computer desk and the keys from the counter, offering a smile and a wave as he left.

He stood there for long moments, replaying the entire conversation in his mind. He'd been so sure Justin would have pushed for marriage as soon as the opportunity presented itself, but he hadn't. Just the contrary. He'd flat out told Brian that he didn't expect it, didn't need it.

But he knew Justin well enough to know that he did want it.

With a shake of his head, he walked to the bar cart and poured a glass of Beam before crossing the room to stand at the window. He thought briefly of Mikey and Ben. They'd no doubt jump at the chance to make their marriage legal in the state of Pennsylvania. Once that happened, Carl and Debbie would likely soon follow.

He took a sip of his drink as his thoughts turned back to his young lover. Justin had stood beside him through so much, the loss of his job, his possessions, the struggle to revive his career in a new business. He'd even been there to help with the aftereffects of the radiation treatments, even though Brian had tried to push him away. He grimaced at the memory. He still felt like a shit when he remembered how he'd physically thrown Justin out of the loft, denouncing their partnership on a selfish, ill-conceived whim.

Granted, he'd thought it for the best at the time. He was sure that Justin would leave him eventually and he just wanted to make it easier for all concerned.

But he hadn't left, and more importantly, he hadn't let Brian drive him away. He'd come back and stood his ground, telling Brian in no uncertain terms what he thought of his 'good intentions'. Instead of taking the easy road, he'd stayed by Brian's side. Through the radiation and the resulting nausea, through the mood swings and the impo… the period of less than stellar sexual activity on Brian's part. He'd stayed through it all and had somehow managed to make it more bearable than it had a right to be.

And what did he get in return? A place to stay. A regular sex partner who couldn't commit to anything more than the present, who might, at any moment, once again claim that their partnership was nothing more than that, if admitting it existed at all.

He deserved better.

The thought brought with it a wave of anger. Not at himself for not giving Justin more, but at Justin for not expecting it. He was willing to give up on his ideas of love and commitment, and for what?

For you, asshole.

The internal voice only served to fuel his anger. Hadn't he taught the little shit to stand up for what he wanted? To have some balls and fight instead of walking away?

Even through his anger, one important truth made its way to the surface of his mind. Justin wasn't walking away. He wasn't going anywhere. He was staying because that's what he wanted, that's what he'd finally found the balls to fight for. He wasn't pushing for marriage or monogamy, not because he knew he couldn't expect it, but because he truly didn't need it. He knew he had an important place in Brian's life and in his heart, even if Brian could never verbalize it, and that was enough. Brian was enough.

When, in his life, had he ever truly believed that? Not in that hellhole he'd grown up in. Not as a son, or a brother, or even a father. Even in the advertising business, his element, he'd always felt that there was someone better, someone brighter just waiting for a chance to snatch it all away. That's one of the things that incited him to excel, to be the best fucking adman Pittsburgh had ever seen. Nothing like the fear of failure to keep one on his toes.

But it was different when he was with Justin. He didn't have to prove anything. For the first time in his life, he had someone who didn't expect him to fix every problem that arose, who didn't see his chequebook when they looked at him, who was happy with him just being Brian fucking Kinney. As much as Brian hated to admit it, it made him feel good.

And all Justin really wanted was to know that same feeling. To know that he was enough for someone - for Brian.

But what did that mean? Brian still didn't feel he was ready to promise monogamy, wasn't sure he ever would be. But then Justin didn't seem to expect that either. He knew there was a difference between what he had with Brian and what tricks got. Granted, the tricks were far fewer than they'd once been, but they were still there, still a part of his life and Justin had accepted that. Knowing he didn't have to give up that part of himself, what was stopping him from giving Justin what he wanted most, which was for Brian to admit to himself and others that Justin was the one he chose to share everything else with?

He didn't like any of the answers that came to mind, the most insistent one being his so-called reputation as the stud of Liberty Avenue, asshole extraordinaire. Had he worked so hard to cultivate that persona only to become a victim of his own machinations? Was his image important enough to risk disappointing the one person who was able to see through it all?

"Fuck," he muttered, slamming the glass down on the counter harder than he'd intended. Slivers of shattered glass flew in every direction, decorating the counter and surrounding floor with glistening shards. An image of Justin kicking of his shoes just inside the door assailed him and he immediately dropped to his knees to avoid a messy accident upon his lover's return.

Lost in thought, he didn't hear the loft door slide open and was surprised when he saw a pair of sneaker-clad feet appear before his eyes. Looking up, he met Justin's amused smirk and couldn't help returning one of his own. Justin was just opening his mouth to say something when Brian beat him to it.

"Well?"

Justin's amusement turned to a frown of confusion. "Well, what?" he asked.

Brian splayed his arms out to his sides. "I'm already on my fucking knees, might as well just get it over with, don't you think?"

Justin's frown deepened as he studied the sight before him. He eyed the broken glass and Brian's expression of expectation tinged with apprehension. "Um…I don't…" He saw one corner of Brian's mouth lift slightly and the blue eyes widened. "No fucking way," he breathed.

"No? Fine." Brian shrugged and made a move to get up but Justin clamped a deceptively strong hand on his shoulder.

"Brian?" the blond queried, trepidation and hope warring for dominance in his eyes.

Brian took a deep breath. "I still don't want the Vera Wangs," he said with a teasing smirk. "But what kind of poster boys would we be if we couldn't come up with our own non-definition?"

Justin dropped to his knees in front of his lover.

"Jesus, watch the glass," Brian admonished, though he'd already picked up most of it.

"Fuck the glass," Justin whispered before pulling Brian into a soul-searing kiss.

When they finally parted, the younger man was grinning. "Not exactly moonlight and roses," he teased.

Brian scrunched up his face in an expression of distaste. "You got that right."

Justin chuckled, shaking his head at his lover's antics. Though the expression was one of disgust, the hazel eyes were soft. "Mmm. Just the same, it was more perfect than anything I've ever imagined."

Brian's expression softened as he looked at the man in his arms. Pulling him closer, he captured the smiling lips in his own for a long, lingering kiss. "Can we get up now?" he whispered when they parted, causing Justin to laugh and pull them to their feet.

Once standing, they embraced again, foreheads pressed together as they looked into each other's eyes. "I meant it, Brian, I wasn't expecting this."

Brian kissed him lightly. "I know."

Justin was shaking his head slowly, unable to erase the smile on his face. "I can't believe you did this. It's so …"

"Lesbionic?"

"Out of character. What made you do it?"

He had to think about that for a moment. A similar conversation they'd once had came to mind and he smiled. "Some asshole told me that marriage indicates a willingness to try."

Recognizing the reference, Justin grinned. "This asshole loves you, you know that, right?"

"Does that mean I'm going to get lucky tonight?" Brian teased.

Justin kissed him then whispered in his ear. "So fucking lucky I won't walk straight for a week."

Brian pulled him close, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of the man in his arms. For a brief instant, he was filled with an all-consuming panic. What had he just done?

Justin felt the sudden tension in his lover's arms and pulled back to look into Brian's unusually pale features. "Brian?" he said hesitantly.

Brian focused on the blue eyes and saw them change from sparkling to worried and then to something resembling resignation. He knew the younger man was finally expecting something - for him to change his mind and take back the greatest gift he'd ever given.

Brian smiled softly. "What?"

Justin frowned as he looked into the hazel eyes. "I just … I thought… You don't have to…"

Brian laughed and pulled him into a tight hug. After a moment of silence, he whispered into the other man's ear. "You didn't exactly answer the question, Sunshine."

Justin pulled back to look at him with a mischievous expression. "You didn't exactly ask one."

Brian raised a brow expectantly and Justin's smile got wider. "But in light of your non-defined, unconventional ways, my answer is yes."

The End

The challenge was issued as follows:

1. Write a story or vignette in which Brian proposes marriage to Justin.

2. He has to do it sincerely, and he has to do it on his knees. It can't be a dream, practical joke, or to avoid losing a bet.

3. Here's the hard part -- write it so it's completely plausible and in character

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