Only Seventeen

~ 10 ~

*~*~Brian's POV~*~*

I'm sitting in the Novotny kitchen with Michael, going over the day in not-so-much detail. He knows that I fucked Justin; that I told him it wouldn't happen again, but that's all I'm willing to divulge.

"And."

I look at him. "And…what?"

"And how'd he take it? What'd he say?"

"Never gave him the chance." It was cowardly; I know this. "I had to get back to the classroom. He never came back after that."

"Is he okay?" Michael asks. He gets that worry gene from his mother; I think it might be an Italian thing.

I answer with a nod. "As far as I know."

The front door in the living room slams shut and I know that Deb's home from the diner. She stayed later than usual and I'm also pretty sure by the shaking frames of the house that she's pissed.

"Hey, Ma." Michael grins. I nod my head in her general direction, careful to keep my eyes focused on other areas.

Deb ignores Michael and sidles up next to me. "You're a little shit, you know that?"

"So you keep telling me." I take this chance to raise my head, which turns out to be a very bad idea. I was wrong about her being pissed. The look on her face tells me she's beyond pissed. She's so far beyond pissed, she's in the next fucking county. I laugh, which also turns out to be a bad idea, when I envision her as a cartoon character, smoke billowing from her ears.

"You think it's funny, huh." It's not a question, so I don't answer. "Justin came to the diner today."

"Yeah, well, he does work there."

"That's all you're gonna say?"

"It's none of your business, Deb."

"Fuck that." She grabs a chair and sits down, staring me in the eye. "Didn't I tell you to stay away from him? That he's got it bad enough and the last thing he needs is for you to get in the way?"

"I might have heard that, yeah." She's not going to back down from this, so I might as well be cooperative.

"But you fucked him anyway."

She takes my looking away as an affirmative, shakes her head, and I know she's cursing herself inside. This isn't her fault and I want to tell her that, but I can't bring myself to speak.

Deb's silent for a while and when she speaks again her voice is softer, but still has a firm undertone. "He's hurting, ya know."

"He'll get over it. They always do."

She shakes her head again and I see the same look on her face that Mikey was wearing not to long ago. "Do you ever listen to yourself? Isn't it sad that you've done this before, that you know the routine. That it's even become a routine? And for your information, buster, I wasn't talking about him hurting over you, which he probably is, but nonetheless, I wasn't referring to that. He's hurting over his dad, the divorce, his little sister, and you have to pile shit on top of it."

I knew about the divorce, sort of, but anything beyond that, I tried to steer clear of. If you don't know what's going on, you won't cause more pain for yourself in the future. I guess that backfired. "I didn't know."

"I guess you wouldn't. Probably didn't even bother to find out."

She's right. Nothing I can do about it now. Deb's said her peace and removes herself from the kitchen, says she needs to go upstairs and take care of a few things. I don't believe her.

"What are you gonna do?" Mikey asks once she's out of range.

What's he expect me to say? Go over and proclaim my love so that his life has a tad bit more going for it? Not likely. "Nothing." I say it slowly to emphasize my point.

"You're just going to stand aside and do nothing?"

"Basically."

He looks away towards the sink, the floor, the ceiling, and settles on a porcelain cat on the divider between the kitchen and the living room. "You might want to rethink that."

I get up and exit the Novotny household. I'm not wanted there at this precise moment; instead I make my way towards Liberty where I know I can't go wrong.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*~*Justin's POV*~*~

I walk in the door of my house an hour after talking with Debbie, careful to shield myself from my mother's gaze. She doesn't need to know that her faggot son got his ass kicked and dumped in the same day. Thankfully, she's nowhere to be seen.

My mother's voice calls from the living room. "Justin? Is that you?"

"Yeah." I answer back. "It's me." I don't want her to see me, not like this, and not after everything that's been happening. But I buck up and walk into the living room.

She's sitting cross-legged on the couch, the phone resting on her lap. Tears are streaming down her face, and I don't want to know what brought them on. I can only assume that it was something involving the phone and my father, but other than that, I don't want to know.

"I agreed." It's all she says and it's all that needs to be said.

It's then that I remember the conversation from this morning. My father wants custody of Molly and if my hearing hasn't failed me, my mother just gave it to him. I fall on the couch next to her, too stunned to speak, too afraid not to.

"What? Why? I just…" I don't know what to say. "I don't think…What?"

She doesn't say anything right away and I wonder if it's because she doesn't know what to say herself. "It was the right thing to do?"

"Don't say it like you want permission, Mom." Who am I to make these decisions? "If you've already agreed to it then tell me why, but don't act like you don't know.

She nods her head and brushes the tears away with her hand. "Okay." Another nod. "It was the right thing to do. I talked to Molly. She said that she misses home, that she wants to go back."

"Then, let's all go back." I'm full of frustration and anger. I turn to look at her, not caring what marks she sees or doesn't see. "Why give up so easily? He's in the wrong here! Don't rip us apart any more than you already have."

She flinches like I hit her or raised my hand to hit her. It's not something I'm used to seeing and I don't like it. "Don't use that tone with me, Justin. I'm still your mother no matter how much you don't like it."

I'm far from finished though and ignore her statement. "I told you that we shouldn't pack up and move, that it'd only piss him off, and he'd do something about it. I was right, but now I like it here." Sort of. "And Molly has classes here, you have a job here, and we can't just pack up and move. Whose idea was it to start a life so fucking far away?"

She's angry, not pissed because my mother doesn't get pissed, she gets angry. When that happens her mouth gets small and she stops all forms of verbal communication. She'll get up and leave, retreat to her room or the kitchen, and the only way to not feel like you've lost is to leave first, which is what I'm going to do.

I stand abruptly and march from the living room towards the front door. She's watching me closely to see what I'll do next.

"Justin!" She calls once I've reached the door and am turning the handle. "Where are you going?"

I turn and look at her, shake my head in disbelief that she would allow all of this to happen. "Anywhere that's not here." I throw over my shoulder as I slam the door.

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