Lost Sister VI

Lost Sister

Part 6

 

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Once Brian agreed to go to Ireland with Caitlin, plans were made very quickly.  They would go the first two weeks of March.  Caitlin would have loved to go for longer, but Brian had work to contend with, and two weeks was all he could spare at this time.  The first call Cait made was to her mother.

“Mama?”

Caitie, how are you?”

“I’m great!  I wanted to tell you something.

“What sweetie?”

“I’m bringing Brian home.”

Bridgit choked back a sob, “Oh Cait, that is wonderful, when?”

“We’ll be there the first week of March, and stay for two weeks.”

“Two weeks, is that all?”

“For now Mama, Brian owns the ad agency that he works at, and can’t be gone longer than that.  I’m sure this will be the first of many visits for him.  He is really excited.  Well nervous and excited.”

“How are things going between Brian and Justin?”

“Well, they tolerate each other when they have to.  They haven’t spent any time together since Justin and I have been back in Pittsburgh.  I think Brian would like to try and reconcile, we don’t really talk about it much.”

“Why not, I know how stubborn you can be.”

“Because, I can’t get in the middle.  I don’t think Brian would mind, but Justin would.  He is still planning to move to Paris when he graduates.  In fact he is going to Paris for his spring break to get a feel for the city, and inquire about jobs.  He is really determined to do this.”

“Well maybe fate will intervene.”

“I hope so Mama, I hope so.”

 

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Brian arrived at Caitlin and Justin’s apartment the day they were scheduled to leave.  He was really sad about the distance between him and Justin.  Brian had hoped once things settled down between him and Cait, that he and Justin could start over.  Unfortunately Justin still had other ideas.  He rarely made appearances with the “family” unless he was summoned, usually by Deb, and he and Brian were never alone together.  Justin seemed determined to keep that chapter of his life closed.

Justin was doing some research on the computer when there was a knock at the door.  Justin got up to open the door, and found Brian on the other side.  Cait was out running some last minute errands, so the two men were alone.

“Hey, I came to pick up Cait, we need to get to the airport.”

“She just had a few last minute errands, she should be back any minute.  Come on in.”

Brian followed Justin into the apartment.  Justin willed his heartbeat to slow as he resumed his work at the computer.  Brian was heartbroken that Justin couldn’t even talk to him.  “Doing research for school?”

“No, I’m actually doing research on Paris.”

Paris, why?”

“I’m moving there after graduation.  I wanted to get an idea of the city and see what area I may be interested in.”

Brian was not expecting this, “What do you mean you’re moving after you graduate?”

Justin sighed, and slowly turned to face Brian.  He had been dreading this conversation for months.  “Brian, when I left last year, I had no intention of ever living in Pittsburgh again.  The only reason I came back was to bring Cait to you.  Once I graduate, I’m going back to my original plan.  This was decided before Cait and I came here.  She’s always known that.”

Brian was speechless.  He had heard a little from Cait that Justin was planning a relocation to Europe, but they hadn’t talked about it in months.  Brian figured once Justin got back into Pittsburgh life, he would forget all about his “grand European plans.”  Obviously this was not the case.  Before he could say anything, Cait came bounding through the door.

“I’m sorry I’m late Bri, I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

Justin’s attention was focused on his computer, and barely said goodbye when the siblings left five minutes later.

 

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Brian and Cait didn’t speak much on the plane.  Cait knew her brother was nervous.  If she was in his shoes, she would feel the same way.  She squeezed his hand in comfort, and hoped it helped.  She was met with matching hazel eyes that smiled at her.  She rested her head on his shoulder and fell asleep.

Customs was hell, but neither one was surprised.  International travel was never fun, and since September 11th it was even worse.  It took them an hour to get through, but they were eventually able to get out.  Cait heard her name screeched through the terminal.  Before she could react, she was engulfed by her mother.  Brian stood awkwardly to the side, for the first time in his life, he had no idea how to act.  While Cait was hugged by her mother, Brian looked over to her father.  He saw an older version of himself.  Brian was shocked.  He never saw any kind of family resemblance with his own parents or his sister, but looking at this man he saw the person who should have been his father.

“Mama,” Cait’s voice interrupted Brian’s thoughts, “this is Brian.”

Brian turned to look at the woman.  She was short and stocky, with wild, long red hair.  Brian lowered his gaze to the floor.  He felt her hand lift his face to look into her emerald green eyes, “Welcome home my son,” and Brian felt himself drawn into the kind of homecoming embrace he had only dreamed of.

 

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The ride home from the airport had been uneventful.  Cait and Bridgit talked a mile a minute.  Brian wondered what it was about women.  He looked up and saw Seamus looking at him through the rearview mirror.  Hazel met hazel and a look of understanding passed between the two.

They quickly arrived at Seamus and Bridgit’s home.  It was very small and welcoming.  Brian began to wonder what would have happened if this had been him home growing up.  Would he have been a different man?  Bridgit touched his shoulder and led him to a third bedroom.

“This is your room Brian.”

“Thank you, Mrs …”

“Mom.”

“Thank you … mom.”

“Good boy, now you get unpacked, Cait and I are going to start dinner.”

Brian was left alone with his thoughts.  He thought he would be able to handle this in his normal manner … detached … reveling nothing … but when the plane landed, Brian felt his walls fall away, and for the first time he had no walls, no protection.

Brian stopped to look out the window into the backyard.  There were so many thoughts and feelings going through his mind, he thought he might go insane.  He felt like one of those episodes of some bad TV show that Justin liked to watch.  He remembered when one of the character’s could hear voices and feel the feelings of all those around him.  It drove the woman insane, and he felt it would drive him insane as well.

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind lad.”

Brian turned around and saw Seamus standing behind him, “You could say that sir.”

Seamus snorted, “What’s with the ‘sir’ crap, in this house I’m dad, or as Cait calls me …daddy.”

Brian laughed, “I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone Daddy before.”

“Then you call me dad.  Let’s go have a drink while the girls finish dinner.”

Brian followed Seamus outside.  They each had a glass of whiskey, and both lit a cigarette.  Brian chuckled at the similarities.

What’s you laughin’ at son?”

“I’m just surprised at the similarities between us.”

“Well that’s family for you.”

Brian just nodded his head, unsure how to answer, so Seamus just continued, “Caitie always believed you were still alive.  She would tell us about the dreams she had with her brother.  Bridgit and I were always a little worried about how much she missed you.  We just let her go with her dreams, it would have been cruel to try and force her to see the truth.  Little did we know I guess.

“It seems strange to hear members of my family talk about not wanting to be cruel to their children.  Jack and Joan must have missed that day of parenting class.”

“Young Justin told us about your parents, at least as much as he knew.  Bridgit and I were very sad to hear about how you were raised.  She wondered why your parents didn’t give both of you away.  We would have loved to have raised both of you.”

Brian felt himself choke up, he didn’t know how to deal with any of this.  Here were two people saying they wished they could have been his parents.  Brian didn’t know how to respond, he just nodded to Seamus.  The two men finished their drinks in silence.

 

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Cait kept Brian very busy the first week of their visit.  She wanted to show Brian where she grew up.  They spent the first week in the city.  It was a little crowded and dingy, but it was Cait’s hometown and she loved it.  Brian wanted to go to Trinity College.  He wanted to see where Justin had spent his year abroad.  They spent a whole day exploring the campus.  Brian knew that Justin loved it here.  He knew Justin better than anyone and this environment would have stimulated his senses.

Cait took Brian to the Douglas Hyde Gallery on campus.  This was Justin’s favorite place to go.  They always had very contemporary exhibits, and Justin would just get lost in the rooms.  The siblings walked the campus in silence.  They explored the Chapel, the Oscar Wilde Centre for writers and the Samuel Beckett Theatre.  Brian felt closer to Justin than he had in a long time.  He knew that the young artist’s time here would influence and benefit his art for years to come.

Brian wanted to follow in Justin’s footsteps while in Dublin.  He made Cait take him to all the places she had been with Justin.  Brian was not surprised to find himself in many galleries and museums.  The one that he had been the most impressed with was the National Gallery of Ireland.  Caitlin had confided that this was Justin’s favorite.  Since the young blonde’s favorite medium was sketching on paper, he loved the Works on Paper exhibition.  The collection included watercolors, pastels and various other works by old world masters.  Brian remembered some of Justin’s work that he had seen in the last year, and it was obvious the artist had been influenced by what he had seen here.  As much as Brian hated that Justin had left, following in his footsteps here made it clear that the young artist had truly benefited from the time he spent here.  Brian felt closer to his former lover here than he had in years.

Bridgit and Seamus had planned a family picnic so that Brian could meet the extended family.  Since they had all met Justin the year before, the Irish Kinney’s were anxious to meet Brian.  Brian was very intimidated when he was surrounded by dozens of people hugging him and talking to him.  The uneasiness passed, and he soon felt part of the family.  Everyone was so welcoming of him, they accepted him immediately.  In fact it was decided, that other than Seamus, Brian was the one Kinney who embodied their patriarch, Ailin Kinney.  Brian didn’t understand this, and Seamus had to explain it to him.

Ailin Kinney was the earliest ancestor they had been able to trace, back to the eighteenth century.  No Kinneys seemed to have existed before him, so he was considered their forefather.  Cait’s great-aunt Siobhan always kept a miniature portrait of Ailin with her and she showed it to Brian.  He thought he was looking at a picture of himself, the resemblance was so strong.  Only Seamus carried that same strong resemblance.  Brian truly felt he had come home.

 

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One week into their visit, Caitlin and Brian were touring Dublin Castle.  Brian had become intrigued by the history of his ancestors and hoped to absorb as much as he could.  While touring the halls of the ancient castle, Brian finally felt like he had a history.  In Pittsburgh, he had never felt that.  Here in Ireland, he felt connected to past and a future that warmed him.  What he was not expecting was how connected he would feel to Justin here.  Knowing that he was following in his lover’s footsteps enriched Brian’s visit even more.

On Saturday, Brian and Cait were having lunch at Eden.  Caitlin found it ironic that they were eating at the same restaurant she had eaten with Justin when she told him she was going to America.

Bri, we need to talk.”

“About what?”

“Well … I’m about to break a promise that I made to myself, but I figure since I’m in a different country all bets are off.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Justin.”

Brian sighed, “What about him?”

“Well first of all, this trip has proven to me that you are still desperately in love with him.”

“I don’t do l …”

“You don’t do love, of course you don’t, that’s why you had me take you every fucking place he went to in this city.  That’s why you wanted to experience this city through his eyes … because you don’t do love.”

Cait …”

“Don’t tell me to stay out of it!  I’ve stayed out of it for a year, even longer if you count the time spent here with Justin.  Well I am going to tell you if you don’t do something NOW, you are going to lose him.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“He is on his way,” Cait grabbed Brian’s wrist and looked at his watch, “no … he has arrived in Paris.”

“What?!?!?”

“He is spending his spring break in Paris.  He probably arrived a few hours ago.”

“So, Paris is a great place for artists.”

“Brian, my dear STUPID brother, how long are you going to be in denial.  He is leaving.  In four months he is leaving, unless you give him a reason to stay.  He is planning to spend his spring break exploring the city for job opportunities and places to live.  When he comes back, after this trip, he will be more resolved than ever to leave America, Pittsburg … you.”

Brian looked like he had been punched, Sunshine was really serious about leaving.  He wouldn’t let himself believe it, but now Cait was throwing it in his face.  “What am I supposed to do?”

“Go and stop him, tell him you love him, and bring him home.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?  Paris is a big city, am I just supposed to troll the streets?”

Cait handed him a piece of paper, “This is where he is staying.  Now I would suggest getting your bony ass on the next flight to Paris, and fixing this before the opportunity disappears forever.

 

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