Cait and Lindsey were having lunch one afternoon after Lindsey's classes. Linds had been leaning on Cait a lot. Having Gus live with Brian had made things a lot easier. They had dinner together almost every night and that made things easier. Gus had a hard time understanding why he wasn't going home with his mommy, but he loved his daddy and his "Jus."

"How are you holding up?"

"Inhaling and exhaling."

"Lindsey, that is hardly an answer."

"I know, but it's all I have right now."

"It will get easier."

"I don't see how. The last words Mel and I shared were in anger."

"What happened?"

"She was giving me a hard time about you. She knew that things were changing. She accused me of being in love with you. The worst thing is that I didn't tell her she was wrong."

Lindsey looked into Cait's hazel eyes and no words were needed.

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The two women barely made it back to Cait's apartment before they ravished each other. For Lindsey, it was some kind of surreal dream, Brian Kinney in female form. For Cait, it was finally being with the woman she had been silently in love with from the day they met. No words were spoken as they made their way to the bedroom. The two women spoke their desires with their eyes.

They made love for hours.

Cait awoke the next morning and looked over at Lindsey. The blonde woman in bed with her was the woman of her dreams. Lindsey began to stir. She jolted awake and looked at Cait.

"Oh, my god!"

"Linds, what's wrong?"

"This isn't right." The blonde jumped out of bed, "This shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry."

Lindsey grabbed her clothes and ran out.

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Brian and Justin brought Gus to the diner for breakfast. Debbie fussed over them as usual. She was so proud of Brian. Peter Pan had finally grown up. In fact, she had a hard time seeing the old "Brian Kinney" in the man that sat before her now.

"So boys, what will it be?"

"Pancakes gramma, pancakes!!"

"Well, he certainly has Sunshine's appetite."

Brian just smirked. At that moment, Cait walked in looking like death warmed over. Brian immediately went to his sister and she fell into his embrace.

"Caitie, what's wrong?"

The woman was sobbing in her brother's arms. "Last night, Lindsey and I …"

Brian knew immediately what had happened. "She freaked out, didn't she?"

"How did you know?"

Brian wasn't sure how to proceed, "Well … back in college …"

"Oh god …" Cait collapsed into Brian's arms again.

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Brian left Cait and Justin with Gus at the diner. He knew that he needed to speak to Lindsey as soon as possible. Cait was worried that the only reason Lindsey felt anything for her was because she was Brian's twin. He knew that wasn't true, but he needed to wade through the bullshit to get to the truth.

Brian knocked on Lindsey's door. When the blonde answered, Brian knew she had been through hell in the last twenty-four hours.

"I figured she would go running to you."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean Lindsey?"

"Look Brian, I fucked up. I fucked your sister. It only makes sense she would go running to you."

"First of all, that is not what happened. I came here because we need to talk."

For the first time since she had opened the door, Lindsey seemed to waver, "What is there to talk about?"

"Well, first of all, are your feelings for Cait some fucked up, displaced affection based on your unresolved heterosexual feelings for me?"

"NO! God, no. I admit, Cait coming here awakened some feelings in me about you, but the feelings that I have for her are about her not you."

"Well, that's what I assumed, but I am glad to hear it from your mouth. Cait feels horrible. She thinks she took advantage of the situation. She's worried that your grief made you vulnerable to her."

Lindsey shook her head, "No, I made love with Cait because I wanted to, but Mel just died, so how can I not feel like shit about what I did."

"Linds, what was your relationship with Melanie like before Cait came into the picture?"

"We were falling apart. She never truly understood me. She never understood my feelings as an artist. She always thought I should simply be satisfied being her wife, but I couldn't."

"Explain it to me."

"I need to be an artist. I need to create. Mel always thought it was a hobby. Something I could do when I wasn't taking care of Gus. That's why I have always been jealous of Justin. That's why I was so angry when you told me you were going to Paris."

"Explain."

"You understood that Justin needed to grow and explore as an artist. You knew that he needed more than Pittsburgh and you were willing to give that to him. Mel would never do that. Cait understood."

Brian pulled out his wallet and began to fish through it. He pulled out a card and handed it to Lindsey. "When you asked me to take Gus, I got this for you. I got it as a way to help you with the expenses, but I want to help you. Get away from here for a while. Take some time to find who you are, who you want to be. Gus will stay with Justin and me. We won't make any move until you come back."

Lindsey looked at what Brian had handed her. It was a black American Express card. She looked up into the eyes of one of her best friends. "Bri … I can't."

"You can and you will. You are of no use to anyone in your current state. So I want you to go away for a while. Get your head on straight, figuratively speaking, and decide what you want to do. We'll all be here when you get back."

"Thank you Bri."

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Brian returned home to Justin and Cait. He explained what he had done for Lindsey. Justin and Cait knew that Brian had done the best thing for one of his oldest friends. The threesome decided to turn their attention towards planning a wedding.

Brian and Justin had spent a lot of time talking about their wedding. Both men had spent time talking about their time in Ireland with the Kinneys. Both men had fallen in love with the hillside behind Bridgit and Seamus's farm. They decided that it would be the perfect setting for their wedding.

Both men had been on the phone with the Kinneys planning the nuptials. Bridgit told them that she had spoken to their priest and he would perform the ceremony. The only hitch was waiting for Lindsey's return.

When Lindsey left town, she left full guardianship for Gus to Brian, but he vowed not to make any drastic decisions until Gus' mother returned. Brian wanted Gus in Ireland with him and Justin for their wedding, but he also wanted Gus as a permanent fixture in his life. Since he and Justin were planning to relocate to Europe, he knew a rough road lay ahead of them.

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Brian and Justin were lying in each other's arms, having just made love. "What are you thinking about Bri?"

"What's going to happen when Lindsey comes home? I want Gus with us."

"I know you do."

"So how the fuck do we work this out? Lindsey will never let us take Gus away … to Paris."

"Bri … how dumb do you think I am? Since we've been planning the wedding, I know you don't want to go to Paris …"

"I told you, I would go with you to Paris …"

"But you don't want to … you want to go to Ireland."

"What are you talking about?"

"You want to be with your family. You want to be near Bridgit and Seamus. You want the family that you have been denied."

Brian still couldn't believe how well Justin could read him. "I told you, we will go to Paris so you can study the masters."

Justin snuggled up to his lover, "I want to go to Ireland. I want to be with our family. I want you to be with your parents. I think we will be really happy there."

Brian couldn't believe what Justin was telling him. "Are you sure?"

"Surer than I've ever been about anything."

"I love you Sunshine."

Justin gently caressed his lover's face, "I know."

Lindsey was gone for six weeks. She spent that time at a bed and breakfast in Maine. There were so many thoughts swirling in her head. Rationally, she knew that her marriage to Mel was heading for a disaster; however, she never expected their marriage to end by death.

Then there was Cait. Cait was the answer to her dreams. She loved Brian deeply and always felt that he was her soul mate. She could never understand what seemed off. Now she knew; her soul mate was not Brian but his twin. It was Cait her heart was reaching out to.

She was truly terrified about where her future lies. Based on her talks with Cait, she knew her lover planned to return to Ireland. Cait only came to America to find Brian and now that she had, her return to Ireland had to be imminent. Now Brian was planning to move to Paris with Justin. Gus would be devastated. First, he lost Mel and now it looked like he was going to lose Brian too. It was time to return to Pittsburgh and talk to the Kinney siblings.

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Cait was sitting alone in her apartment. She was looking at some of the pictures her parents had e-mailed her of the hills behind their home. She wanted to show them to Brian and Justin. It was going to be a beautiful setting for a wedding.

Cait was so happy that Brian and Justin had found their way back to each other. The two men belonged together. She knew it was time to go home. The only thing that kept her from being happy about returning home was Lindsey. The blonde artist was the other half of her soul. She believed that with every inch of her being.

A knock at the door brought her out of her thoughts. She was surprised to find Lindsey standing on the other side.

"Lindsey!"

"Hi Cait, can I come in?"

"Umm … sure … come on in."

Lindsey made her way into the small apartment. She was terribly nervous, but knew what she had to do. "There are some things I need to say to you, and I just need you to listen."

"Ok."

"First of all, Melanie and I were having problems long before I ever met you. I don't think we were ever going to make it. The problems we had went way to deep. She never truly understood me. She always thought my art was cute, simply a hobby that I could use to occupy my time when I wasn't being a mom. That's one of the reasons I was so jealous of Justin. Brian always understood the artist in him. Brian deciding to move to Paris proves that. He understands what Justin needs to fulfill his soul as an artist and Brian is willing to give that to them. That's part of why I always fixated on Brian. I knew there was something wrong though. There was such a connection between us, but something was always missing. I realize now what that was. It was you. I was in love with Brian because I was in love with you, even though I didn't know that you existed. You can't imagine what went through my heart when I met you, and believe me, it's not a fixation on the lesbian version of Brian Kinney. I love you. I need to be with you. But now I'm so torn. I feel like my life and my family is being torn apart." Lindsey choked back a sob.

Cait took the sobbing woman in her arms. "Why Lindsey, why do you feel like your family is being torn apart?"

Lindsey looked into the hazel eyes of the woman she loved, "Because all of you are leaving. You're going back to Ireland. Brian and Justin are going to Paris. Gus and I will be left here all alone. God, how can I keep Gus from his father?" Lindsey began to sob again.

Cait simply held Lindsey in her arms. "You're only part right my love."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we have been waiting for you to come back to tell you what's going on. Yes, I am going back to Ireland. It's my home. Brian and Justin are moving to Ireland. Brian needs to live in the homeland of his ancestors. He needs to be with his true family. The family that would have loved him if they were given the chance. What we've been waiting for is your decision. All three of us want you to come to Ireland with us. Brian wants to be Gus's father. His parental rights were reinstated upon Melanie's death, but he would never try and take Gus from you. I know the family that you were born into doesn't accept the life you have chosen. Come and be a part of our family. I've told my parents about you and they want to meet you. They want their children and their grandson with them."

"Cait, I do love you, but how can I do this? I still feel so disloyal to Melanie. We may have had our problems, but she was still my wife."

Cait pulled out an envelope and handed it to Lindsey. "Melanie left a letter for Brian when she died. Inside that letter was one addressed to you. She instructed Brian to give it to you when the time was right. He gave it to me."

Lindsey looked at the envelope addressed to her in Melanie's elegant script. She slowly opened the envelope.

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Dear Lindsey,

This is very difficult for me to write, but if you are reading this it means that I am gone. The last year or so has been very difficult for us. I knew that we were on a collision course for disaster. We were heading in different directions. I also know that you would never dishonor our marriage vows, but I have begun to believe that the choice will be taken away from us. If you are reading this, the choice has been made.

I love you and I know that you love me. You have given me so much joy these last ten years and I will never regret them, and although you are my beshert, my beloved, I know that I am not yours. Your beshert has hazel eyes and an Irish baroque. The moment Cait walked into our lives I knew that our days were numbered. I was sad, but never angry.

Now I am gone and there's one thing I want you to do for me. Live and love. Raise Gus in a way that will make his Mema proud. I will be watching over the two of you.

Love always,

Mel

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Cait held Lindsey for hours while she cried.

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Six Months Later

The family stood on a hilltop in Ireland as Brian and Justin took their vows. The Kinney/Taylor/Peterson family had moved to Ireland three months earlier. Bridgit and Seamus were thrilled to have their children home, all of them. They welcomed Lindsey as openly as they had welcomed Brian and Justin. Gus brought a joy into their lives that no one was expecting.

Brian flourished being a part of a family that loved and welcomed him. It was the kind of acceptance that he had always dreamed of. Bridgit was the mother to him that Joan could never have been and Seamus was the mentor he always wished Jack could have been.

Justin and Lindsey loved exploring the lush green hills. Every day they would pack up their art supplies and set out for hours. The two friends became even closer. Since Lindsey found Cait she was no longer jealous of Justin.

Lindsey was initially reluctant to move out of the country, but when she saw Brian with Gus she knew that she couldn't keep them apart. Despite her fears, she agreed to the move. There was nothing left for her in Pittsburgh, so she agreed to follow her heart and her family.

Lindsey and Cait were not ready to get married, but they knew it was only a matter of time. Today, however, was for Brian and Justin.

Bridgit and Seamus's priest was officiating, "It is my understanding that Brian and Justin have written their own vows."

Justin went first. "Brian … today we are entering a phase in our lives that I never thought we would get to. There were so many times when I would hold on and you would let go and times when you would hold on when I let go and somewhere along the way we both stopped letting go. There are so many things I could say that would sound ridiculously romantic …" Justin paused and smiled at Brian, " … but one thing that you taught me is that real life doesn't have a happily ever after and although that was a hard lesson I'm grateful for it. What I will promise you is that I will love you until the day that I die and every day that I wake up with you I will re-commit to our marriage and re-commit to you. So my promise to you is that every day I will marry you again in my heart and that will last until the day I die."

Brian felt his heart fill with Justin's words, "Sunshine, you have taught me that love exists. Until I met you, I truly believed it was just a sentiment that people would throw around. All the times you stood by me, even in the hardest of times showed me how much you love me. I've watched you grow from a starry eyed teenager to a strong and devoted man. I wish that we didn't have to go through all the hard times that we did, but I know those times made us stronger. There are many times we could have given up but you wouldn't let me and I wouldn't let you. So I stand here today in front of our family and promise that I will love you until the day I die. I look forward to all the adventures that are yet to come and I can't wait to experience them with you. I want to thank you for my sister and for my parents because I wouldn't have them if it wasn't for you. You are the strongest man that I know and I will spend everyday proving to you that you made the right choice. I owe my entire life to you and I thank God that he saw fit to bring you into my life. I love you and today is the first day that I get to commit myself to you and I will continue to do so until the day I die."

By the time Brian was finished with his vows, everyone had tears in their eyes. Father O'Kennedy took the moment to finish the ceremony, "What God hath brought together let no man put asunder. Gentleman, before your family and friends I am proud to present you as Brian and Justin Kinney-Taylor."

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